A New Beginning
by macaronicheezez96
Summary: SetduringBD.Leah has imprinted on Jacob before Reneesme's birth,leaving her alone and confused.The Cullens are devastated after Reneesme's birth,but sadness,loneliness and longing bring Leah and Jacob together as they help this broken family reunite.R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Leah Clearwater

I watched as Jacob ran towards the ridiculously large mansion close to where we had been sitting. I sighed and fingered the soft material of the shirt I had been forced to wear. I leaned back against the oak tree and lifted my gaze to the sky, letting every thought going on in my head reach forefront. Jacob would never be mine, no matter the strength of the imprint. Tears brimmed in my eyes but I blinked them away. I could hear his husky voice from the inside of the house, panicked and sad. I could imagine Bella Cullen, tucked into a tiny ball on the family couch….

Every single image that Jake had shown us in wolf form flooded my sight: her pale, sick face, her weak form, her bulging belly with the killer spawn in it. The spawn Jake desperately wanted to kill to save the one he loved. But it was a _child_, half vampire half human factors left aside. It was an innocent child. And I couldn't….would _never_ dream of hurting an unborn baby. As opposed to the Cullen's, who wanted to abort the kid just to save Bella. I snorted as her name made it's way into my mind. That bitch. The one who broke Jake's heart by choosing a blood sucking leech over him. Images of Jake's heart broken face came to mind, as I remembered the days before Bella's wedding, and those during her honeymoon and after.

Now, apparently, I was the only sane wolf left, from Jacob's pack. Yeah, my brother and my Alpha had all become pet dogs to the _enemy_. But I wouldn't give in so easily. No steak could ever make me turn on the werewolf in me. I scanned the forest and caught sight of two young wolves running close by. They didn't dare come close to me…. I figured they were Collin and Brady, the new additions to Sam's pack. I followed them with my eyes as they disappeared between jade leaves and olive bushes.

A scuffle and crushing of leaves caused me to whip my head in the direction of the house again. There, from between a pair of trees, emerged the blonde vampire, with her long hair trailing past her graceful body as her wide eyes looked at me earnestly. Those amber eyes blinked twice before they settled on a patch of worn grass next to me. I growled as I saw her approach the spot and fall to the ground, cross-legged. My lips drew back over my teeth as she rested against the tree too, eyes staring at the forest before us. She was so different from the person who had been sitting there before her. I growled at her continuously but she didn't seem affected by it so I finally gave up.

Her lips were set in a firm, white line and her jaw was locked, as if she was tense about something. I followed her gaze, but saw nothing. _What the hell was she looking at, then? _

"Leah," she said, nodding in my general direction, greeting me.

I raised an eyebrow at her before I greeted her myself. "Blood sucking whore."

"I would prefer it if you'd call me _Rosalie," _she corrected gently. She surprised me with her tone, usually so hostile and mean. At least, that was what I had heard from Jacob's thoughts. She seemed different now, calm, but also sad. Why would a beautiful, young, rich vampire be sad?

"What do you _want_, Rosalie?" I asked, irritation laced into my voice. I crossed my arms across my chest and dug my fingernails into the skin of my forearms. I nailed my gaze to the muddy soil on which we were sitting as I heard her about to speak. But she didn't. She opened her mouth to say something, but immediately drew back her breath.

This was confusing. Her smell reeked and my nostrils couldn't take much more of it as my head started pounding responsively. But somehow, something inside me couldn't tell her to leave. It was as if I wanted her to stay, as if I- _we- _needed each other in this situation. But I couldn't seem to understand why a werewolf would need a vampire for consolation.

"I wanted some sane company, for once. Everyone in there thinks I'm just using Bella to take the baby after it's born. But that is definitely not the case. They can't seem to understand that I'm taking care of both of them, protecting them, from our 'so-called' family. I just can't take it anymore. Bella's blood has never been so appealing. There are two people in one person, two different pulses, different blood travelling through different veins… Everyone is going to go berserk soon. I just needed some peace and quiet."

My brow furrowed as I drank in her words. What the hell? Couldn't she just have gone for a run somewhere? To the Canadian border or something? Why here, with me, of all people? Something in the back of my mind told me that she had some ulterior motive for talking to me, and it just pushed the words out of my mouth.

"What do you want Rosalie…. I can see that's not entirely true. If you wanted some quiet you should've gone for a run _on your own."_

She closed her eyes and tugged her hair out of her face as it was being whipped by the wind about our faces. I couldn't be bothered with my own, shaggy cut as it was lifted above my forehead and down again repetitively.

"I don't like seeing her like that. Round and _pregnant._ It makes me so mad! Knowing how much she's going to get at the end of all this… it's a win-win-win situation for her. Edward, immortality and a baby. What more could she want? I…." she trailed off.

I smirked and laughed softly. "It's called jealousy, honey. And I know how you feel. Most of the women I know have all been imprinted on, which means that they can create wolves which are stronger and better, to protect La Push. But since I haven't been imprinted on, I highly doubt my fertility. And I'm _alive, _Rosalie. I had a chance to have kids, but it was taken away from me," I spat.

She nodded. I realised that that was why I needed her here. She was in the same situation as I was, more or less, and we could understand what the other was going through. That bitch had no idea how lucky she was. She had a family, she was married to someone who loved her crazily and was soon going to give her a child to complete her success. I sighed. So damn lucky. I chuckled sarcastically and ran a hand through my crazy hair, trying to calm it down. Rosalie remained silent, her mind thinking of something far off. I didn't talk to her again but it felt good to share my bitterness with someone who seemed to understand it.

None of the guys from the wolf pack paid any notice to my bitter, sad behaviour and bitchy attitude because they didn't care at all. I was just Leah, the mean girl with the crappy demeanour and the fiery tongue. With Rosalie, I felt understood and _heard_ after such a long time. She didn't mind my werewolf smell and I was learning to adapt to hers. It didn't seem so bad, talking to a vampire, after all.

_Snap out of it Leah, you're letting the vampire get the best of you!_

I mentally slapped myself and put on my mean mask again, feeling cold all over, in a metaphorical sense. I watched as Rosalie got up swiftly and looked down at me with a grim smile.

"It was nice talking to you, Leah Clearwater. I hope we'll get to talk again soon." And then, she was gone, running towards the house as a low, sleepy voice called her name. I guessed it was Bella, waking up from a successful nap. I heard Jake's low voice argue with Edward and Rosalie about something before I heard Rosalie's heels click on the parquet. I heard someone slurp something from a cup and I heard Jake gulp and swallow in disgust. I chuckled, imagining what Bella could be drinking.

My thoughts were cut short as a retching sound reached my ears and panicked gasps resounded around the house. Slow thumping was heard as something hit the floor and desperate cries laced with screams compelled me to run towards the house. I stood in front of the house, facing the front door as the screams continued and the shouts, too. One voice in particular, saddened me. Jacob was talking in a confused manner, sad but panicked as he asked questions, presumably directed at Edward or Rosalie, or whoever was in there with them.

Something in my heart hurt badly, seeing him this concerned over someone who had rejected him. I bit into my bottom lip as I tried to zone his voice out of my hearing. But I couldn't. I could hear everything being said in their conversation, as much as I would have preferred not hearing anything. I closed my eyes and heard something scraping metal and something delicate being slashed open. This was then followed by a commotion, and I heard Jacob grunting and Rosalie growling. They started a fight. _When Bella was in labour. _Sheesh, perfect timing. Feathery footsteps joined Jacob and the others.

"Alice, get Rosalie out of here _now_," a velvet- like voice ordered fervently. _Edward, _I noticed. His voice was strained, so different from the usual composure he liked to harbour. I could only smell three vampires in the house; Rosalie, Alice and Edward. One werewolf. One human. One hybrid. A hissing sound reached the door and it swung open revealing a ridiculous scene. A smile was forced onto my face, be it a grim one, but I couldn't help it. Alice, the vampire pixie, was tugging on Rosalie's hair, who was twice her size. Rosalie wasn't fighting Alice's strong hold. In fact, she was lying limp on the floor as Alice dragged her outside, next to me.

"Rosalie smelt the blood and freaked out. Mind calming her down for a bit?" the pixie's shrill voice asked me. Her eyes were a darker amber than Rosalie's, but she was perfectly calm. She didn't give me a chance to say yes, she darted back inside the house, leaving a terrified Rosalie at my feet. I pitied her. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were ragged with a torn sleeve. Her eyes were dark, almost black, but with a slight tint of orange in them and her lips were pulled back over her teeth.

She was silent. And motionless. Staring at the house.

"Rosalie?" I asked tentatively, settling my hand on her shoulder. "Calmed down yet?"

She nodded and stood up, brushing her clothes of the invisible dust on them. "It was just blood. I kinda… lost control for a few seconds. But thankfully, Mr. Alpha knocked me into a wall to keep me from his precious Bella," she rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip as she continued staring at the house.

"I think you should wait a bit more before you go back inside. Mr. Alpha might do more than just knock you into a wall this time. How's Bella doing?" Before Rosalie had time to answer my question, a loud crack resounded and left both of us jaws slack and eyes wide. We heard Edward whisper in panic "Her spine". I was dumbstruck. The bitch was actually going to die! For the killer spawn. Rosalie was also shocked but she was soon walking at a human pace towards the porch steps.

"Are you sure?" I asked her and I barely saw her nod as she disappeared inside the house. I remained there, in front of the house, focusing on the noises coming from the inside. I heard them clearly, but they were extremely confusing. And I couldn't take it anymore. My heart wanted me to go inside, to see Jacob, to make him forget Bella Cullen and to take him away with me. But I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself walk over to the porch and into the house. I _wouldn't._

I backed away, tugging off the shirt and shorts as I entered the forest. I started to shake ferociously and I felt my human muscles give way as they were replaced by stronger, more durable wolf muscles. My eyesight became more refined, my hearing better, and my thoughts were linked with Seth's.

_How's Bella? _I rolled my eyes at my brother's question. He was only concerned about the Cullens lately, more so Bella.

_She's in labour, Seth, and not doing so well apparently. The baby broke her spine and Rosalie freaked out when she saw the blood._

I heard Seth take an intake breath and gasp. _And you _left_?_

_Yeah, so? What was I supposed to do? I'm not their house pet, Seth, and I sure as hell wasn't going to go inside that house. Not that any of them would care, least of all Jacob. All he cares about is Bella. And you're turning into his spitting image, brother. What the fuck does the treaty mean nowadays huh? I'm sure Jake will find a loop hole to excuse them killing Bella Cullen. _

_Oh come on, Leah, don't be so sour! They're going to save her life, dammit, they might not even bite her. I'm sure Carlisle-_

_Carlisle's not even there, idiot! This is all fucked up. We're going to have to choose sides if Bella is turned, and quite frankly, I don't want to side with the Cullens in anything. And Sam and his pack were asses to us but I wouldn't mind siding with them. But I'll be fighting against Jake and the imprint won't let me do that and I'll end up hurting one of Sam's wolves if they attack him. Damn those vampires, damn them to hell!_

_Leah…_

_This is all Bella's fault. If she hadn't gotten herself pregnant with a hybrid this mess would have been avoided from the start. _

_Leah, just shut the fuck up. You keep your bitter thoughts to yourself. The Cullens are nice people-_

_THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE SETH! THEY'RE FUCKING VAMPIRES!_

And then, Seth wasn't there anymore. His thoughts faded quickly as he phased back. I eyed my surroundings and I had no idea where I was. _Great…_ I fell to my knees and buried my face in my paws, letting the sobs wrack my huge form. My huge, wolf form. All because of those vampires. _Argh… _I slammed my paws onto the muddy ground. I hated every single thing that had brought me to this. _This _genetic freak of nature that made me who I was. I had never wanted this. I had only wished to be a normal girl, who was suffering from a little heart break, a little rejection and daily, teenage life.

But _no, _her father had to be Quilete and his children had to inherit his wolf gene. And if that wasn't enough, his daughter had to be the only female wolf known, unable to bear children and other mundane things. I growled and lifted myself off of the ground, trotting back on the path I had come from. My eyes recognized the path I had hastily ran through and I knew I was on the right track. I traced my scent and at one point I even crossed Seth's.

A soft growling alerted my hearing and I spun around to be faced by a large, dark grey wolf. I sucked in a breath and straightened my neck to it's full height, only reaching the grey wolf's shoulders. I held up my determined stance, sending waves of strength and courage towards the wolf. If a wolf could smirk, this one did, then backed away behind a bush. I heard someone groan and I eyed the bush sceptically, before a tall, tan guy emerged from behind it. I immediately felt relief wash over me as the guy opened his arms and smiled at me.

"Leah!" Paul called as he walked over and scratched behind my ears. He knew I liked that and he did it purposefully to avoid getting punched in the face, or breaking his nose again. I retreated slowly and went to phase behind a large pine tree. I pulled on the clothes that reeked of vampire before I rejoined Paul on the ground.

"What were you doing out here, all alone Lee-Lee?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back on my elbows. "Running. And just because I'm a female doesn't mean I can't kick some random wolf's ass," I said, lifting my fist to his face to emphasize my point. He nodded and looked away into the forest. I was kinda shocked. I mean, Paul was usually the guy who retorted with a smart ass comment.

"Just because you're a female doesn't mean I can't kick yours back," he said with a smirk. I sighed in relief. _That_ was the Paul that I knew. "So how're Seth and Jacob?"

I laughed mockingly. "They've turned into the Cullens' pet dogs. And they're annoying the crap out of me, but I've learned to put up with them. Jake's _far_ to occupied with Bella's pregnancy to leave the house for a few minutes, and when he does, he's tense and nervous and all that shit. Seth, well, he just likes being used as a heater. I guess he likes the family atmosphere he finds at the Cullens' place, that which he doesn't find at home….. So how're things going over in Sam's pack?"

Paul lowered his gaze to his bare toes and his jaw locked and the tendons in his neck strained. "I was actually sent to talk to someone in Jake's pack. Alpha's orders. Sam wanted me to tell you that if Bella is turned, he will not hesitate to start a war, with or without Jacob and his new pack. We have plenty of wolves now- young, inexperienced wolves- and Sam's preparing them for the fight. I, _we_- Jared, Quil, Embry and I- aren't too sure about this fight. They're far too young to fight a coven of vampires, but Sam has faith in them…" his voice floated to a whisper, "he also wanted me to tell you that Emily misses you. A lot."

Paul lifted himself off of the ground, before turning to smile at me and jogging into the forest, clothes ripping as he phased. _Way to go softening up the wolf, Paul. _I leaned back into the soft wood, letting the usual forest smells invade my nostrils. The smells that reminded me so much of Jacob. _Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob…._

_

* * *

_

I don't know how long I stayed there, buried in the trees, but I do know that it was already dawn by the time I had actually bothered to get up and run back to the house. I stripped off my clothes and phased, then picked them up in my mouth and continued running in the direction of the house. I truly felt at ease, like this, running at speeds no human could think of, feeling the wind rake through my fur and my paws thudding on the ground.

Something was wrong. So very wrong. The Cullens' house was completely silent, eerily silent. No movement, no sound, nothing. It sent shudders up my spine as I approached the house and stopped to phase behind a tree. I jogged up the porch steps, forgetting my vow to never enter the house entirely, my focus set on Jake's well being. I just wanted to make sure that he was okay, that was all. I didn't want to intrude. I was just checking.

I didn't even make it to the front door. The door swung open to reveal a sad Rosalie. And when I said sad, she truly was sad… depressed, sorrowful. Her face was emotionless, her eyes glassy and her lips turned into a disdainful pout.

"Leah…" she trailed off, eyes floating back to the inside of the house and looking at something. I tried to peer in, but Rosalie was taking up the whole doorway, blocking me out. "It's…."


	2. Chapter 2

Leah Clearwater

"It's...horrible Leah! I just can't believe it!" she sobbed as she walked onto the porch and sat down on the swinging bench. I followed her and perched uncomfortably on the soft material. She buried her face in her palms and her back shook as she tearlessly cried. I pitied her. Sure, I wasn't perfectly human, but I could cry and all. I looked and acted normal at least.

"What happened Rosalie?" I asked, my mind coming up with possibilities of what could've gone wrong.

She lifted her gaze and stared straight ahead, into the forest, past the trees, at something I couldn't see. She swallowed, even though she didn't need to, and pushed herself off the bench and started making her way into the house again. "Jacob will tell you," she murmured as she closed the door behind her. And left me there. Alone. Like an idiot, waiting for Jacob to come and explain what the hell was going on.

Surprisingly, I didn't need to wait long. Jacob came walking over, from the other side of the front lawn in human form, eyes downcast upon his twiddling fingers. He ungracefully climbed the four porch steps and settled onto the swinging bench, instead of Rosalie. He angled his body towards me and leaned forward slightly, so that our faces were only mere inches apart. _Oh for the love of all that is good and holy! _I cried as the distance between us hurt me.

"What happened Jake? Rosalie said it was really bad..." I said, trying to distract my thoughts and my body.

Jacob swallowed hard and lifted his chin up and straightened his shoulders. "Carlisle and Esme were buying donated blood when Bella's water broke, so Carlisle couldn't determine what was going on in Bella's body. Apparently, her placenta had been detached for quite some time, maybe a day or two, and when the baby wanted to escape the womb... There was no placenta to protect it. We didn't know the placenta had been detached way before birth...

"But we didn't have time. Bella was dying so we just gave the baby to Rosalie and carried on with turning Bella. After Edward had successfully injected the venom in Bella's heart, and the transformation had begun, we went to Rosalie. She was panicked because the baby wasn't crying, as though it were mute, and it refused to eat, neither human food nor blood. We called Carlisle and told him what was going on but he wasn't able to tell over the phone, so we have to wait until he comes back to figure out what is going on with Reneesme..."

I snorted. His eyes met mine and I felt the usual electrifying spark between us. "They named her _Reneesme_? What kind of name is _that_?"He remained silent for a little while and his brow furrowed. _Oh, I didn't mean to_ _disagree with precious Bella's decision to ruin her daughter's life_. I snorted. According to Jake, and now my brother, Bella was never wrong. It really was irritating.

"Yeah, Bella joined her mother's name, Renee, and the mom leech's name, Esme, together. I actually...kinda, like it, to a certain extent. It's strange and the baby is one of a kind, anyway, so it makes sense," he explained with a smile, as I rolled my eyes and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"So you're waiting for Carlisle to come home then?" I confirmed as he nodded. I looked away from Jacob and spoke softly. "I met Paul in the woods..."

His eyes widened- those dark, beautiful eyes- as I mentioned Paul, therefore indirectly mentioning Sam's pack. His jaw locked and his hands balled up into tight fists. "What did he want?" he asked bitterly as his gaze floated to the front lawn. He leaned on his elbows, body tilted outwards.

"He...Sam sent him. To talk to one of us. Apparently, after we left, more wolves joined his pack and he thinks he is prepared to fight the Cullens. Sam is going to abide by the treaty. Bella was turned, Jacob, there's no denying that now..."

"Technically, she wasn't bitten. Edward injected the venom straight to her heart, so he didn't bite her. The treaty wasn't broken-"

I pursed my lips. "Why do you have to find a loop hole in the treaty to protect someone who doesn't love you anymore? Why can't you wrap your head around the fact that she doesn't love you, Jacob, she doesn't! And you just go out of your way to make sure that she is safe. You make me sick Black..."

Jacob grunted and fell back into the bench, covering his eyes with his hand as he rubbed at them ferociously. "I just can't understand how you live with your constant bitterness and how it feels to live a fucked up life just because no one loves you."

One drastic intake of breath from my part followed. _Who the hell was he to talk to me like that? Oh yeah, my imprint._ This was impossible. How was I supposed to knock some sense into him if I couldn't bear to see him hurt? No one said anything. I personally didn't have anything to say. Me, Leah Clearwater, has nothing to say. This is getting ridiculous. The house was still silent, apart from slight whimpers, presumably coming from Bella. I still couldn't believe that the spawn wasn't in a good condition. And suddenly... There it was. This estranged desire to see this little baby, just to see her. My motherly instincts rumbled in the background as they awakened, almost as strong as the imprint. I was compelled to go inside and see this child and I found myself standing up.

"Take me to see her, Jake," I almost pleaded. Jacob looked at me sceptically before he nodded and got off the bench. I followed him inside, bracing myself for the overdose of vampire scents. And I had reason to brace myself. My nostrils flared as soon as the mixture of smells hit me, sickly sweet, and my body started to shake, mildly at first. Jake noticed and placed a calming hand on my shoulder, urging me to calm down.

And thanks to the imprint, I did as he told me to. I told myself that there was nothing wrong, that the vampires wouldn't hurt me, and surprisingly it worked. We walked into the house but none of the vampires were in sight. I followed Jake upstairs, down a white hallway and into an open doorway.

Rosalie was bouncing slightly, her back to us and her eyes on the forest scene in front of her. Her blonde locks were swaying with each movement her body made and her arms were curled around something which she was holding to her chest.

"Reneesme..." she cooed, obviously not aware of our presence, or simply ignoring it.

"Rosalie?" Jacob called and walked over to her slowly, with me on his heels. "Rosalie?"

She turned, slowly, lifting a head of bronze curls onto her shoulder. The child wrapped her chubby hands around Rosalie's neck and pressed tightly onto her granite skin.

"Leah wanted to see her," he explained as he grabbed my forearm and pulled me before him. A smile touched her lips as she saw me, and her eyes lost all their hostility. Part of me was angry at her for treating Jacob like that, but the other part just wanted to see the kid. I didn't want to hold her. I didn't want to touch her.

Rosalie shifted Reneesme's weight onto her hip and she slowly turned her head around to face us. A small, heart shaped face framed with long bronze hair. Skin a pearly colour, with cheeks the colour of roses. Eyes...closed. And swollen. The eyes were bulging, an off set to her otherwise perfect face. She was smiling, showing off a set of fully grown baby teeth. She sure didn't look like a new born baby. As I backed away a few steps, Reneesme surprised me by reaching her tiny hands out towards me. Rosalie was as surprised as I was, but she beckoned me forward and lifted Reneesme off her hip and held her in mid air.

I slipped my hands under her armpits and brought her to my chest. Reneesme fit exactly into me and rested her head on my shoulder. She placed her hand against my neck and my mind was suddenly flooded with colourful pictures and a question.

_Who are you? _She was asking me.

"I'm Leah. Leah Clearwater. I'm Jacob's...friend."

_Thank you. I'm Reneesme, but I think you already know. Do you know my Momma? And Aunt Rosalie?_

"Yes, I do. Aunt Rosalie is also my friend. She's very beautiful, you know, the prettiest girl you'll ever see...but maybe, by time, you'll take her place. Your Momma is going to be pretty too. Like your dad and all your aunts and uncles and grandparents."

_Aunt Rosalie is a vampire right? All of them are... And Momma's going to be one soon?_

"Yes, yes she is."She nodded and pulled her hand away. Her colourful thoughts disappeared but I enjoyed her little form curled happily into mine. I had never felt so at ease with my motherly side before. Reneesme loved me, I could tell, even though she didn't know me at all. She was… warm. And I was so used to being warmer than most other people that Reneesme was something new to me. She truly was one of a kind, as Jacob had put it before.

I heard her breathe in my smell before pressing her hand again against my neck.

_You smell like Jacob, _she commented and I nodded. She showed me that imagined my smell to go with trees and forests, like the one she could smell from her room. My mind was filled with different hues of green and brown as Reneesme tried to conjure up an image of a forest. And she came extremely close, before she gave up. _Can I go to Jacob now?_

"Of course," I said as I turned to Jacob and handed her to him. Jacob held her comfortably and I smiled as I imagined him cradling our child in his arms. I brushed those thoughts aside and I looked at the scene in front of, mainly just Jake and Reneesme. So beautiful together. I saw something common in Rosalie and Jake's expressions. Sadness. The type of sadness I had seen on Rosalie's face when she had greeted me at the door.

I couldn't grasp the concept that the girl was blind. Her eyes were swollen shut and she couldn't see a thing and yet... She was happy. Probably because she didn't know what she was missing. Poor thing. I pitied her. She would never see the world and the beautiful people with which she lived.

"Where's Edward?" I asked suddenly. Rosalie looked to the door immediately. I followed her gaze and saw Edward leaning against the door frame, eyes locked on his daughter. The sadness was there again, but Edward's sadness was laced with pride and happiness.

"Here," he said softly. Reneesme's head snapped up and she looked in the direction of her father. She reached for him as he stepped forward and reached for her. He lowered his head to hers when she was in his arms and kissed her swollen eye lids softly. I smiled and felt that I had to leave Edward and Reneesme alone, in their privacy. I didn't want to intrude on such a personal moment. I walked out of the room, down the stairs and into the hall, stopping in front of the door.

I turned around and saw Jacob and Rosalie descend the stairs too. My heart melted when I saw Jacob, but I was accustomed to it and I tried my best to regain my composure, something which I was usually very fond of, but nowadays seemed to be slipping from my fingertips. As Jacob reached the hallway, he didn't give me any time. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the house. I was too thrilled about the physical contact going on between us to care about anything else.

We walked deep into the forest, in silence, dodging trees and bushes to find a spot. I didn't mind how long it took for us to get somewhere, as long as it meant having to touch him all the way. I could see the muscles in his back move as he walked steadily, those in his hands and legs too._ Jacob, Jacob, Jacob..._

We reached a relatively small clearing- a small patch devoid of bushes or trees, just short, muddy grass. Jake sat down and I sat beside him. He was worried about something- I could tell because his brows were furrowed and his dark eyes were narrowed into tiny slits.

"Did you see her eyes?" he asked out of the blue.

"Yeah, I did. I really felt sorry for her...she's just so young, and to be unable to see is a curse..."

"I know. What's worrying me is from where she got the disease."

"It's a disease? I thought she was just blind-"

"No. It's a disease. Carlisle confirmed it on the phone but he has to see Reneesme to know exactly what it is. Blind people do not have swollen eyes. Rosalie has to clean her eyes every couple of hours because the disease is some sort of infection, Edward's conclusion, not mine, which causes the eyes to produce pus. I've seen her do it and Reneesme isn't too happy about it. She starts to plead with her to stop because it hurts her."

"Poor thing," I mumbled softly. He nodded and closed his eyes. I watched him for a few seconds, but they felt like hours as Jacob remained with his eyes closed. As long as he didn't catch me staring… I didn't want him to know that I had imprinted on him. It would probably just freak him out and he would never talk to me again. He would also fire me from being his Beta. Which would automatically send me back to Sam's pack, and quite frankly, I didn't want to go back there.

"So you don't know who you're going to fight with then?" he asked, out of the blue.

I was caught off guard and I stuttered with a response. How did he know that I was going to have trouble with the probable upcoming war? "Wha-" I began, but then it hit me. "Seth." That kid was the worst tattle tale ever. He couldn't keep a secret, and the only secret he had managed to keep was the wolf thing, and only because his life depended on it. You couldn't have a personal, private conversation with Seth without the whole pack knowing the next time he phases.

"Yeah, the kid told me about your problem. It's not that big a deal though, you can side with whom ever you want… it doesn't matter to me, though it'd be a relief to take a break from my annoying Beta for a while," he said with a smirk. I pushed him roughly and laughed as he fell on his side. We both burst into fits of laughter as Jacob's cheek smashed to the ground.

I hadn't laughed like that in a _really _long time, and it was good to just laugh it out. In truth, I strongly disagreed with Jacob's words. It was a big deal for me, choosing sides, because it meant that all the hurt and pain would come tumbling down on me. I couldn't side against Jacob. I _couldn't_. It was physically, mentally and emotionally impossible for me to do so.

"So, have you made your decision? Or do I have to flatter you some more?" he asked with a wink.

_Oh. My. God. Not the wink! Not the fucking wink!_

Every part of me was burning when my eyes had greedily swallowed up Jake's wink. My fingertips wanted to reach out and rip his shirt off of him, because of all days, _today _he had decided to wear a shirt. My lips wanted to attack his, my legs wanted to tangle up with his long ones… every part of me and found a match in him.

I didn't move. Not one _bloody _inch. Nothing. Nada. I was forcing myself to _not _think about him in that way, to savour some of the dignity left in me. The little bit left. The tiny speck of dignity…

"I'll… think about it. Just please… don't provoke Sam into getting into a fight. I would prefer it if we don't fight."

Jacob was looking at me with his mouth stretched into a tiny 'o' shape as I told him that I didn't want to fight. Yes, it confused me too. All these new emotions were mixing up my character. Damn the imprint, damn my motherly instincts. I wasn't feared anymore. No longer the bitchy Leah… Just Leah. Plain, boring Leah. Yeah, no way was I going to be able to keep this attitude up.

I fingered the grass on which we were sitting, raking my fingers through it just to feel it's soft, fresh texture. I felt a hand on my forehead and I lifted my gaze to look into Jacob's mock-concerned eyes.

"You okay Leah?" he asked, feeling my temperature.

I reluctantly pushed his hand away. "I run a permanent temperature of one hundred and eight degrees. You can't determine if I'm sick just by feeling my temperature, idiot."

Jacob beamed at me. "There you are Leah. Man, everyone's changing around here…"

I rolled my eyes. _If only you knew my story Jacob Black, you'd realise how much I'm changing for you… _I was greatly considering telling Jacob about the imprint, it seemed like a good idea now, with all this awkwardness between us, and it might ease the confusion by just a bit…

_No. Everything will just get even worse. Believe me. Jacob won't understand about the imprint thing and run off, then you'll be heart broken and you'll do something completely reckless to avoid the confusion you would've caused. _

The rational part of my brain was talking now, showing me a very possible outcome. _Okay, not now. But he will know sometime._ I mentally nodded, dreading such a day. I tugged my hair out of my eyes, scanning the forest as I did so. I couldn't believe how many things had changed in only a matter of days. All my emotions, my strengths, my vows, everything. I had become friends with a vampire. Or, as close to friends as we could get, but whatever. I had held a hybrid child in my arms and watched her thoughts in my mind. I had walked into the Cullen household out of my own will….

_Unbelievable._

I sighed and heard Jacob rustle a few leaves as he moved. I looked up and saw him staring straight ahead, focusing on the path we had taken to come here. I watched his nostrils flare as he breathed in, then out, shoulders starting to shake.

"Carlisle is here," he whispered softly, so that I could just barely hear it. He straightened his back and looked down at me. "Come, we have to go."

And we were off, racing the wind, treading on the same path. I was more than curious now, as to what was up with Reneesme. I was _concerned_. Maybe just a little bit. I could see the opening that would open up to the Cullens' front lawn. I was pushing my limit now, equalling my pace to Jacob's, which was extremely hard work, when you thought about it.

We burst out of the forest and ran towards the house, leaping over the four porch steps and almost breaking the door down in our haste. We stopped as we were inside, calming ourselves down. Emmett, the beefy, cocky vampire greeted us from the living room, but we didn't take any notice of him. We followed the new scents the vampires had left, Carlisle and Esme's scents, up to Reneesme's room, where Rosalie was carrying her to another room, at the other end of the hallway. Reneesme smelt us and smiled as they entered a room filled with medical supplies.

The room was separated in two by a white screen and I could smell Edward on the other side, and a vague scent of Bella. _Oh, Bella's being turned in there_… Carlisle was sterilizing something over at the sink, and as he turned around to face us, I could see that his marble skin was etched with worry.

Reneesme smelt her grandfather's scent, something new to her small nose, and lifted her head off of Rosalie's shoulder to look at him.

He gasped as his eyes landed on her face, and I didn't need to hear any medical explanation to know that something was very, _very_ wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Leah Clearwater

"Conjunctivitis," Carlisle in resignation as he looked sadly at Reneesme's sleeping form. Everyone was in her room, even Edward, and we were waiting intently for what Carlisle would say.

"Conjunctivitis? What the hell is that?" Seth asked suddenly. Jacob, Seth and I were waiting at the doorway, whilst all the Cullens had filtered inside the room.

"It's a disease, more like an infection, that is very common amongst young children. It affects the eyes by causing a terrible inflammation and creates pus quite often, therefore the child would not be able to see."

"But Reneesme was born with this disease...from where could she have gotten it?"

Carlisle looked at Reneesme again I and could almost see the gears in his head working. The name of the disease wasn't new to me, I had probably studied it in school or something. I didn't remember any symptoms. That was Carlisle's department.

"Rio. Bella was already pregnant with Reneesme when they travelled through Rio to get back home. She probably acted like a carrier. Conjunctivitis only infects young children and when Bella's body came into contact with the disease, it immediately affected the child already inside her. The disease is only common to human children, but since Reneesme is half vampire, half human, the disease has infected only Reneesme's human side.

"It is only normal for a child to reject food when it is sick, and the sick part in Reneesme is refusing the food, also harming the vampire part. I'm guessing that Reneesme will keep on deteriorating until the body has to accept food. I doubt any medication would work on her, because the vampire inside her would burn the medicines off quickly.  
But I'll try to think of something, I promise."

"Will she able to see if the disease is cured?" Rosalie asked tentatively as she stroked the soft wood of the crib.

Carlisle's beautiful face scrunched up in dismay. Rosalie's back straightened and she went rigid as she saw his expression. "I don't know, Rose, I cannot be sure," he mumbled softly and turned his back on us. He reached his hand into Reneesme's crib and I saw him shake her gently.

"Here, let me," Rosalie said and pushed Carlisle aside. She lifted her out of the crib and held her in her arms. "Reneesme..." she cooed and gently stroked her cheek. The girl stirred in her aunt's arms and smiled. She pressed her hand against Rosalie's cheek, showing her what she was thinking.

Rosalie smiled at Reneesme, even though she couldn't see her, and pushed her curly hair behind her ears. "Hi, baby. Wanna meet Grandpa Carlisle?"

Reneesme pressed her hands against Rosalie's neck again, and she was soon being handed from her aunt's arms, to Carlisle's. He looked at her in wonder and was slightly shocked when she pressed her hand to his neck to show him. He laughed in wonder and adoration as the little girl cuddled up to her cold grandfather, resting her head on his  
shoulder. Everyone was staring at this little exchange, so simple, yet so sweet and meaningful.

_Dammit, you've let the hybrid get to you Leah! _And it was true. Reneesme was easily charming everyone into liking her. But it was impossible to _not_ like her. The girl had a certain aura to her that just couldn't be detested. I, myself, wasn't too comfortable with  
this aura. It was strange to be overcome by such a compelling emotion…

We watched Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Edward surround Reneesme, to try and figure out what was going on with her. Emmett and Jasper left to go downstairs, but a confused Alice remained with us. Her amber eyes were closed and her body was scarily rigid. Her tiny fists were balled up tightly and her brow was furrowed as if she were  
concentrating on something really hard. Seth, being the innocent, carefree person that he was, roughly tapped on Alice's shoulder to bring her back to the conscious world.

Alice opened her eyes in irritation and looked at us angrily. But, surprisingly, she did not shout or yell or anything. When she walked towards us, her expression became calm and peaceful.

"Headaches again?" Jacob asked her as she wedged herself between us, her tiny form barely visible next to our tall ones.

"Yes, but they're worse now. I can see Bella, but anyone who spends time with Reneesme will just disappear. I'm losing people a lot now... Their futures just disappear when they enter her, like, personal space. And Reneesme is just one big void in my vision. I can't see what's wrong with her or anything. It's like I'm blind too. It's really uncomfortable..."

Jacob smiled at Seth and I as we looked at him questioningly. "Alice gets 'headaches' when she's around Reneesme and the only apparent cure is our company."

Alice beamed at me, her tiny pixie face glowing. "I hope you don't mind..." she trailed off.

We shrugged and walked downstairs with Alice flitting around behind us, talking on and on, non stop. Sure I was healing her headache, but she was giving me a fucking big one. I couldn't believe how much energy she had in her. Seth enjoyed her company: he had found his vampire counterpart... Two hypers is never any good. Jacob was ignoring her, but I couldn't do that as easily.

I guess it takes lots of skill to master ignoring someone as loud as Alice. I admired Jacob. Heck, I loved everything about him. Every measly thing. I sighed and followed Jacob outside with Alice rambling on with Seth. We entered the forest surrounding the Cullens' land before Jake turned to us.

"Any of you feel like having a little run?" Jake asked and I beamed and so did Alice  
whilst Seth 'whooped' loudly. Pixie waited whilst we phased behind trees and bushes. I left my clothes behind a raspberry bush before setting off to catch up with the others.

Alice was really fast, just a blur running gracefully around bushes and trees and logs, but Jacob and I were faster. I felt my muscles scream in delight as I pounded against the ground to surpass Jacob. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at my competition but that just made me go faster. I heard Seth growl in frustration as he fell behind and I  
laugh- growled at him. Alice's bell like voice resonated around us as she ran daintily close behind us.

_Man it's not fair_, Seth complained.

_It's not our fault you aren't capable of keeping up!_ Jacob pointed out.

_True... But I've gotten used to you! Even Alice is faster than I am,_  
_dammit_.

_Oh baby bro, don't be like that_, I said with a smile.

_Fuck you_, he said jokingly but I could still see that he was sulking.

As we reached La Push, I felt something stir inside Jacob's thoughts. He slowed by just a fraction but the confusion was driving us all mad. Jacob was staring at something and when I looked into his thoughts, I saw a large black wolf hidden behind a large tree.

Sam.

_Oh shit_, I muttered as I turned around and stopped next to Jake. Alice also slowed and turned around to face us, questions written all over her face.

_Seth, phase back and walk to the Cullens with Alice_, Jacob ordered.

Seth whined. _Why do I have to? Can't Leah phase too?_

_Now_, he said, and we could all feel the Alpha command lurking beneath the surface of Jake's voice. Seth bowed his head once and tugged at the elastic band around his leg. He took his clothes with him behind a bush and came back with a pout on his face.

"I'll come with you Alice," Seth said softly and started to run back with her. At least she slowed down to match her pace with his to avoid making his mood even more fucked up.

_I'm sorry for the kid_, Jake said as he looked at me.

I had to shield my thoughts from him when we were in wolf form. I had been practicing with Edward by putting a concrete wall around the thoughts I wanted to keep a secret. And it was working. Jake didn't know about the imprint and neither did Edward but it was really hard to guard your thoughts. It took a lot of work to make sure that the  
concrete wall wouldn't disappear.

_Come on_, he said when he saw that I wasn't going to say anything. He trotted slowly over to where Sam was with me on his tail.

_How did he know we were here?_

_I have no idea... _He trailed off. _It was like he was waiting for us. Like he knew that we would be here._

I shuddered and scanned the forest twice over. I saw him, cleverly hidden behind a bush and a tree. His midnight fur acted like camouflage as it merged with the deep brown of the tree trunk and the dark olive green of the leaves. He was barely noticeable unless you were looking for him. He parted the bush with his paws and approached  
us, stopping in front of Jacob.

_He needs to phase if he wants to talk to us._

_We need to phase too_, Jake pointed it.

_Fuck,_ I said as I remembered that I had left my clothes behind a raspberry bush close to the Cullen mansion.

_Oh,_ Jake said as he heard my thoughts. I tried to stop myself from blushing but the thick blood flowing to my cheeks was quick. I didn't even know wolves could blush.

_Just stay in wolf form_, Jacob said, _I'll phase to talk to Sam._  
_  
Okay._

When Sam saw Jacob retreating to phase he went back to the tree to phase too. My breath caught when I saw Jacob. He was shirtless, wearing just a pair of cut off jeans that were torn and slashed and worn out. I'd seen Jake half naked a thousand times, but now, it was as if his chest was screaming to me _Look at me! Look at me! _At least  
now, I had my thoughts to myself, no intruders listening in. I could think of Jacob without killing anyone.

They were standing in front of each other and I flanked Jacob's right. I could see the tendons in his neck, strained, and I could feel the tension thick like a blanket of fog around us. I eyed Sam sceptically but he was looking at Jacob.

"What? No messenger this time? Finally got the balls to come and confront me yourself?" Jacob asked mockingly and I smirked as Sam was set on fire.

"Don't get me angry, Black... I just wanna talk."

Jacob shrugged. "Okay, let's talk then."

"The treaty, Jacob, it's broken-"

"Bella was not bitten, Sam," Jacob countered sternly. Something inside me welled as I saw the concern he had for Bella. Never concerned for me. _I_ was concerned for _him_.

"Can you prove it to me Black?"

Jake remained silent, breathing in and out harshly. I growled at Sam, finally catching his attention. He smirked at me before turning his attention back to Jacob. _That son of a bitch!_

"Tell me about Bella's birth Jacob, I want to know all about it."

Jacob spat at him and stood his ground. I moved closer to him, straightening my neck to full height so that I was three feet bigger than Sam.

"Edward injected the venom into Bella's heart. The treaty only forbids the vampires from biting the human."

Sam was not fooled. "Did he bite her Jacob? _Did her bite her?"_

He didn't answer. _Shit, Edward had bitten Bella_. The muscles in Jacob's back locked and his hands balled up into tight fists.

"I thought so..." he trailed off and he moved closer to Jacob until they were a few inches apart. "The treaty was broken, Jacob, and if you choose to fight me, then you will be admitting it. I have no choice but to abide by our ancestors laws, something that you seem to be taking lightly to protect someone who doesn't love you. My pack is growing stronger every day. The new additions are being trained by Paul and I and they have uncanny fighting abilities. I won't hesitate to fight you or the Cullens. Remember that Black." And with that final sentence, he left off, running into the woods, towards La Push.

Jacob remained motionless and I slowly nudged his shoulder to bring him out of his reverie. He looked up at me and smiled grimly before he went to phase again.

He ran with his shorts in his mouth whilst showing me vivid images of Reneesme's birth.

_Bella, lying on a hospital bed, blood strewn_ _everywhere and pumping out of her. The thick red blood dripping from Jake's fingertips as he gave up. Reneesme, covered in blood also, in Edward's arms as she was handed hastily to Bella then to Rosalie. The metallic syringe that Edward pushed against Bella's bloody chest. Then, Edward leaning down on Bella's mangled body, biting into every part of her and licking the wounds to close them_.

_He did bite her. But the initial and major dose of venom was injected. Edward was simply trying to get the venom into her system faster, _Jacob explained as we ran back towards the Cullens house.

* * *

I tugged on my shirt as I walked from behind the bush towards Jacob. He was waiting for me so that we could go to the Cullens' house together.

Sam knew the truth. He knew that Bella had been bitten and he was going to fulfil his duty as protector of La Push. Sam and his shitty pride. Alice was outside with Seth and Jasper, sitting casually on the porch steps. They were talking animatedly between each other and Seth waved when he saw us.

"How's Sam?" he asked as we reached them. Jasper and Alice were also waiting for our answer.

"Not good. He's determined that he will fight, and win, to honour the treaty."

He didn't even finish the sentence. Alice's head snapped up and her eyes turned glassy as she stared ahead, probably into the future.


	4. Chapter 4

Alice's head fell into her hands, her marble body shaking with sobs. Jasper immediately wrapped his arm around her to try and calm her down, but Alice couldn't seem to be stopped. She just sat their, breaking down slowly.

"Jasper what's happened?" Jake asked, concern laced into his voice. Seth was eyeing Alice, trying to figure out what was up but she lifted her face to look at us when Jake asked about her.

"I lost everyone. Everyone of us, Charlie, Sue, Billy... I can't see anyone anymore!"

We were all silent as Alice's face twisted into an agonised mask. Her lips crumpled and turned into a pout and she let out one heart- wrenching sob as she leaned into Jasper's shoulder. Her hair fell before her face, obscuring her pale, smooth skin and amber eyes from us.

I looked at Jake and saw his furrowed brow and narrowed eyes staring into space. Alice had mentioned Billy, so it was only normal that he worry about his father.

"I wish Reneesme would just stop, she's killing me-"

"Stop what?" I asked in utter confusion.

Jasper looked at me, his golden eyes drowned in sadness and grief. "Alice believes that Reneesme is affecting others around her with her brain. Edward can't hear us as  
clearly as he used to and I can't feel emotions or control them as easily. She's affecting our powers, so to speak."

"So Alice can't see the future anymore?"

"Not always," Alice interjected, "It depends on Reneesme. When she thinks about me, she blocks my vision, Edward's hearing and Jasper's control. Apparently, she cannot effect mental or physical powers like Carlisle's compassion and Emmett's strength."

"So how come she doesn't affect us?" I asked, curious. She knew who we were, she could think of us every now and then, but I never felt weaker, slower or different in any other way.

Alice shrugged. "Could be that she has no effect on you, since you are werewolves and she's part vampire."

"She can still show us though," Seth pointed it. Jasper thought about it then shook his head and shrugged too.

"Is Bella...?" Jacob asked, stepping forward and making his way up the porch steps. Alice grabbed Jake's wrist and stopped him.

"Almost. But we would prefer it if you'd watch Reneesme for us. We're afraid of Bella's newborn burn and that she might lash out on Reneesme."

Jacob leaned against the wooden banister and looked at me before he nodded. "Sure we'll keep watch." _Why was he looking at me? _Seth watched this exchange with a devious smile before Alice and Jasper went inside and I heard them go upstairs softly.

Bella's heart was beating insanely fast, and it was kind of scary. Each pound reverberated in my ears and I saw Jake wince as he heard the heart beats too, obviously knowing that these would be her last beats as a human. That he would lose her now, forever. It pained me to see him so, but the imprint didn't allow me to the deny him his love for someone else. It just didn't work that way, even if I wanted it to. I sat down in Alice's spot and leaned back against the step behind me, tilting my head back to look at the sky. It was setting now, the sky above me pearly pink studded with cotton clouds. It was beautiful. I could sense the tension and anxiety present between all the members  
and the excitement too.

Soft footsteps moved towards us and soon, Reneesme was being lowered onto my lap. I was kinda surprised and I turned my head to see Rosalie disappear into the house. Reneesme breathed me in, and cuddled up to me. I held her awkwardly at first but when Jacob sat down next to me and leaned close to me to look at Reneesme, I happily held her close. Seth stroked her cheek and she smiled and pressed her palm to my neck.

_Momma's coming! _She sang in her thoughts. I rocked her gently but I couldn't help but feel a bit sad and angry. Bella was going to be awake soon, a beautiful mystical being and I was afraid even the difference between them wouldn't keep Jacob from falling head over heels for her. Again. And I'd have to suffer from heart break again, because no one would love me, only this time it would be worse because of the imprint.

"Yes, she is," I assured her. She sat up and sniffed the air around her before pressing her hand to my cheek.

_Jacob and Seth are here too, right?_

"Yes," I said and she spread her hands out next to her and felt for Jacob and Seth. They knew what she wanted and they grabbed her hands to make it easier for her to show them.

They both smiled as Reneesme's thoughts flooded into their minds and squeezed her hands. Her tiny, pale fingers were barely visible in their massive russet palms.

"Listen to Bella's heart..." Seth trailed off, letting go of Reneesme's hand. She heard him and lifted her head up to hear her mother's heart. It was beating louder than ever, stronger, like the thrumming of a bird's wings.

"A few minutes," Alice said, her voice heavy with excitement. A few intakes of breath as they waited in anticipation.

Jacob sighed and raked his fingers through his silky black hair. Seth raised his eyebrows at me as I looked at him, rolling my eyes. Why did Bella have to come and ruin everything now that everything's perfect? Reneesme reached out to Seth and he took her in his arms and cradled her. I looked away from them and at Jacob, watching as he fisted away at his hair. A pang of sadness slashed at my heart, bleeding compassion,

longing and concern. I stood up and wrapped an arm around Jacob's waist, comforting him and satisfying my needs.

He didn't seem to mind and leaned into my hug, resting his chin on my head and letting his anger loose by squeezing me to him. He wouldn't cry. No, he wouldn't. He was to proud for that. But he would cry if he could. I knew that. I inhaled his scent: woods, pine, fresh rain, masculinity and his own personal smell. His smell was so... Sensual. I  
shuddered and he loosened his grip immediately.

"Sorry," he whispered in my ear, thinking that I had shuddered out of pain, when in fact, it was quite the opposite. He pulled away and I heard Seth snicker.

"Oh shut the fuck up!"

Reneesme's head snapped up in the direction of my voice and her eyebrows crinkled. She grabbed Seth's wrist and he was immediately laughing his ass off.

"What the-?"

"Reneesme told Leah not to swear in front of her."

I blushed a bright crimson and Jake joined in on Seth's laughter. The bitchy werewolf cannot swear in front of the half vampire half human girl. _Ridiculous. _I rolled my eyes and leaned against the banister.

"How does she even _know _that I'm swearing?"

"Don't know… probably heard her aunts or uncles or something being corrected about it," Seth suggested between laughs. I accepted his theory and listened to the wonderful sound of their laughs enter twined together.

They stopped laughing when we heard a hiss from upstairs. _Bella's here! Oh fucking joy! _Seth heard her too. And Jacob. We all looked to the second floor of the house and heard a slight commotion before everything was still again. Only the rough breathing of a newborn vampire.

Seth stood up and gave Reneesme to me and pushed me behind them as we stood silently on the porch. Reneesme was perked up, head held high, listening to what we were listening to. Her hand was pressed to my neck, passing her thoughts to me. She was confused. She couldn't determine what it was that she was listening to.

_Momma... _She was repeating over and over, as if she couldn't believe that she was finally going to meet her mom. I rolled my eyes, trying to imagine Bella as a vampire.

_Ew._

My gaze floated onto Jake's huge back. Yes, huge. His biceps were crossed over his chest and his short jet black hair was swaying slightly to the movement of the breeze. He was so beautiful. The imprint pull seemed stronger now, here. I didn't know why but it just seemed like it. It wasn't just lurking beneath my every thought. It was there, very significant. It was probably due to the intensity of the moment. Could be...

Reneesme was quiet in my arms. She probably understood that this moment was too important for words. She just sat there, curled in my arms. They were talking upstairs but I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to listen in on someone else's happy ending, knowing I will never get mine. I let my thoughts wander, to the woods and the Sam  
problem. Technically, it was ours too, but I couldn't seem to find it in myself to admit that I was going to have to fight against my family. It was just too damn hard. Jake was listening intently, his face drawn and his deep eyes sad. His lips were pulled down in pout, the muscles in his back locked in tension and anger. His emotions were like a blanket around him.

A small thud on the other side of the house and two sets of light footsteps bounding away from the house told us that Edward had taking Bella hunting, for the first time. As soon as they left the house, Alice giggled and all the family laughed as they made their way downstairs. Jake figured it was okay to go inside now and he opened the door with us on his tail. They were all there, in their beautiful glory, smiles from one ear to the other and no trace of the anxiety and tension that they had been emitting before. I stood at the entrance to the living room with Reneesme taking in all the new scents  
that had assaulted her. I was surprised at myself for being so comfortable with a vampire child, but I guess my motherly instincts were making me do so. The fact that I had been able to hold a child in my arms, not necessarily mine, had calmed down my bitterness and my anger towards everything.

Seth was already sitting on the couch, next to Emmett, and they were loading a video game on the huge flat screen on the wall. Jake was... Not doing good. I walked over to him and shook his shoulder gently with my free hand. He didn't even turn around to acknowledge me but remained there, wallowing in self pity. I gave up and saw Rosalie  
beaming at me. I figured she wanted Reneesme but she shook her head when I went to lift Reneesme off of my hip.

_Is Momma here? _Reneesme asked expectantly.

"No honey, she's with your Daddy and they went hunting for food. They'll be back soon, though," I assured her. She understood and went back to smelling the air around her. I contemplated sitting down on the couch but Seth and Emmett had pretty much taken up the whole thing. So I opted to remain standing up. Jake was looking at me now, his eyes drowning in tears. I gave him a look that screamed 'don't-fucking-cry-here' and leaned into him and whispered "Later" in his ear.

Whispering in a house filled with vampires, a werewolf and a hybrid is not very useful. As soon as I muttered that one word, I earned a few awkward glances from the vampires. A confused one from Alice and Jasper, an ashamed one from Esme, disapproval from Carlisle, a promiscuous look from Emmett and a blank from Seth. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, shutting off any ideas of what they thought we would be doing tonight. Jake understood, though, and nodded before he leaned against a wall and tilted his head back with his eyes closed.

Silence. Except from the repeated explosions from the video game. But other than that, silence. Reneesme was a really quiet child and didn't even utter one single word. But then I figured that she probably couldn't speak if she wanted to, maybe because her speech was affected by the disease. I didn't know. Rosalie and Alice were flipping through a fashion magazine and Carlisle was reading a book. Esme was silently sketching on a large mahogany desk in the corner of the living room. Jasper was looking at Jacob, confusion etched into his features. He was probably trying to figure out his emotions. I could tell it was not such an easy task.

I was interested in Reneesme. Or rather, her thoughts. The girl was showing me everything going in her mind, every question, every colour, every doubt, every smell, and she was even trying to conjure up images of everyone in her family. I didn't know how she was doing it, but she would occasionally feel her face to get the shape of the face right. She was basing each appearance on voice and smell. Some of them were  
surprisingly accurate. Rosalie's was really good and Jacob's was like a young child had drawn him. Mine, left much to be desired. She thought I was pale, for crying out loud!

"No Reneesme, I look more like Jacob," I explained. She immediately arranged her mental picture of Jacob to look like a woman and immediately, it looked better. I smiled as she lengthened his hair and made it look shiny and nice.

"Damn, Reneesme is a real mouthful," Jacob commented suddenly.

Emmett paused the game to smile at Jacob. "Hell yeah, brother!"

"Well... It's her name, dumbos," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes and tapping the side of her head.

"Yeah, but a nick name would be great," Alice chirped, bouncing in her seat. It had obviously been a really long time since Alice had gotten a surprise.

"Re Re? Sessie? Ren?" Seth suggested.

Jake shook his head and closed his eyes again to think. I looked at him and hoped Jasper wouldn't be too shocked at my emotions. Fortunately, he was still looking at Jacob.

"How about Nessie?" he asked, opening his eyes again and straightening up. Rosalie nodded enthusiastically and Alice was whistling contently.

_Perfect_, Reneesme thought and sent happy emotions towards me.

"Reneesme likes it," Jasper said, sensing the happiness she was sending to me. Man, it was really annoying in here. You couldn't move an inch without everyone knowing what you're thinking, feeling and going to do next. Irritating. I tried my best to not let them get on my nerves, but sometimes, I just couldn't help it.

"Then Nessie it is!" Seth hollered from the couch before Emmett pressed play and they continued the game. Then, everything fell silent again as everyone continued what they had been doing before. They astonished me at how easily they interacted with each other, but how comfortably they lived in their own silence.

Reneesme's thoughts were continuous. She flew from one thought to another without pause and each one was different and more colourful than the other. She was keeping me entertained, as if she knew that I wasn't too comfortable with her family. I caught Jacob looking at us once or twice, eyes narrowed and forehead creased in frustration. I was confused too, by the way he was looking me. It was… _strange. _A shiver ran down my spine, causing me to shake slightly. Reneesme stopped for a few seconds before her thoughts continued on a steady flow.

Jacob heard them before I did. He stood up rigidly and his hands balled up into tight fists, his veins protruding beneath his skin. Two sets of footsteps, soft, and a bell-like voice laughing along with a velvet one. My heart skipped a beat as the whole family stood up and walked towards me, holding up a defensive ground around Reneesme. Jacob and Seth stood beside me and Reneesme sensed the sudden tension. She buried her head in my hair and I suddenly wanted to give her to Rosalie, but she was standing up front, closer to the door than I was.

My breathing was coming out in quick, short huffs and Seth gripped my hand and squeezed it tightly, calming the tremors coursing through my body. Breath in, breath out. Okay, good.

_Momma? _Reneesme asked, excitement laced with the question.

I didn't want to answer her, I didn't want to give my presence away. I would be risking my life, and Seth's too. I gnashed my teeth together and nailed my gaze on the back door as Edward and Bella approached the house at a human pace. They were leisurely talking between themselves, laughing. They smelt of _blood. _Figures. The Cullens were spread out randomly next to me, but they were definitely defensive of Reneesme. They were protecting Reneesme, but who was protecting us? We were, after all, human too. Beating heart, a pulse. The whole shebang. But that didn't seem to matter to anyone.

In a flash, the door was open, and a shocked Bella looked inside. She was beautiful, like all the other vampires, but she still had that same look she had when she was human. Annoying. Yeah, that was the word.

Edward was next to Bella, holding her hand, eyes on the girl in my arms. Reneesme wouldn't turn her head to face her mother or her father. Rosalie moved to stand halfway in front of me and at that moment, I just wanted to get the hell out of the house and not be associated with them. But I couldn't, like some force was compelling me to stay. Oh yeah, Jacob. So I had to stay in the house, holding the vampire hybrid in my arms. I had never, not even in my wildest dreams, imagined that I would be doing such a thing.

Bella's eyes looked at everyone before they saw the head of bronze curls resting on my shoulder. Her eyes zeroed in on Reneesme and she took a few tentative steps towards us. She tilted her head to see who was behind Rosalie and she shrieked when she saw me.

"Leah Clearwater!" she screamed and lunged towards me.


	5. Chapter 5

Everything happened quickly. I shoved Reneesme towards Esme and darted out the front door, breaking it off of it's hinges in the process. I sprinted across the front lawn and burst out of my clothes as I reached the forest. I didn't care if they weren't my clothes, they were the _Cullens', _so fuck them, fuck them all.

How could I have been so easily fooled? By that sick joke of a child? Damn my motherly instincts. I _knew _I shouldn't have gotten involved with the Cullens. It's not like a was massacring her daughter, for God's sake. Everyone was okay with me holding Reneesme until the bitch came along. _Whatever. Time to retake that vow, Leah, _I told myself. It seemed pretty reasonable now.

_Leah? _Seth asked. I had realised he had phased a few seconds after me but he had chosen to remain silent at first. _Leah? You okay?_

_No, _I said angrily. _Nothing is okay. What did Bella do after I left off?_

_She followed you halfway across the lawn before Jake tackled her and Edward calmed her down. Then she went inside to meet Reneesme. _

_What the hell did she want? I wasn't hurting Reneesme or anything. I was just _holding _the god damn child. _

_Beats me. She was really shocked that Jake stood up for you. You should've seen the look on her face. Classic. I think she expected everyone to let her beat the crap out of you. _

_Always the bitch. Not even a cross over to the dark side could change her attitude._

Something shimmered at the edges of my conscience and Jake's thoughts suddenly joined in.

_Hey guys, _he greeted as he ran to catch up with us. _Leah, you okay? I was really worried about how you left off and all…_

_Whatever Jacob. Like my well being matters. I'm sure the bitch won't ever forgive me for carrying her kid before she did. Oh god, I'm pissing blood. Watch as I cower in fear of the 'Almighty Bella'. Yeah, right. _I mentally snorted and I heard Seth chuckle and saw Jake roll his eyes. I didn't want them to know, but I was hurt. And there I thought I had made a friend, maybe even more. Rosalie didn't even stand up for me.

I was decided. I would never have anything to do with the Cullens again.

_Leah__… _Jake trailed off as he heard my thoughts.

_No, Jake, I__'ve messed up once, been almost attacked once, and I'm definitely not falling for it again. I won't ever go back Jacob, and no Alpha command can make me._

I sprinted towards the border with Jake and Seth on my tail. I was so _mad. How can you be so foolish, Clearwater? What the _fuck _was that kid doing to you back there? _I shook off my thoughts and barely dodged the trees in my way, livid, red spots shrouding my vision.

_Leah, calm down, _Seth coaxed.

He threw a flame and it landed in the gasoline. I blew up. _No, I will _not _fucking calm down. They are vampires. We are werewolves. See the bigger than life distinction over there? Or are they suddenly normal now just because Alpha is sickly in love with one of them? I don't give a shit about them, or anyone, so you can just back off and let me kill myself slowly-_

_SHUT THE FUCK UP LEAH, _Jacob yelled as he crossed my path and knocked me off course. His teeth caught my neck, pinning me to the ground. _Just leave it. If you didn't want to be associated with the Cullens, you shouldn't have been at their house in the first place. Don't come. Stay away. Like any of them will care. _

My wolf eyes watered as he roughly explained that I was irrelevant to everyone's lives. I pushed him off of me and trotted back to my house. No one followed. They knew what would happen if they did. Smart. I phased before I went into the house, after making sure that no one was around. I wandered around the house, grabbed a bottle of water before going up to my mom's room and rummaging through my dad's wardrobe until I found one of his favourite shirts. I pulled it over my head and went into my room, plopping down onto the bed and crying myself to sleep.

* * *

_Sam Uley was walking over towards me, his face drawn and sad. Something in me slumped and told me that Sam was going to tell me something very wrong. I didn't move an inch from my spot on the beach, my feet dug snugly into the cool sand as I stared at the waves._

"_Leah," he greeted subtly as he sat down beside me. I was actually surprised that he hadn't wrapped his long, warm arms around me in the usual hug or planted a soft kiss on my forehead. He seemed… cold. Distant. Different. Okay, something's wrong. Definitely._

_I looked up at him, but I couldn't seem to smile or wonder at how beautiful he looked as the wind whipped his silky black hair about his head. I leaned my head against his shoulder, sighing contentedly, but Sam flinched away from my contact. I stepped back, shocked._

"_S-Sam?" I stuttered as I cocked up an eyebrow questioningly, tears welling up in my eyes. His eyes were downcast and he was twiddling his fingers together over and over, an obvious sign of his nervousness. "Sam what's wrong?" The anxiety was strongly evident in my voice and he noticed it too._

"_Leah…" he trailed off, lifting his gaze to look into my eyes, "I'm so sorry." He stood up and pulled me up beside him. I staggered slightly, but regained my balance and stood my ground, preparing myself for the worst._

"_I'm in love."_

_Three words. That was all. My face crumpled and tears slid down my cheeks quickly and onto my blouse. Everything shut down, everything was black, because there was nothing anymore, no purpose to my life. I forced myself to find the courage to utter a question. _

"_Who is she?"_

_He turned his face away from me and I could see the pain etched onto his features. He swallowed but didn't make any move to tell me who she was._

"_Sam, tell me," I said, reaching out to cup his chin and force him to look at me. There were tears in his eyes._

"_Emily."_

_Pain. Death. I looked at him, wiping off any expression present on my face. How could he? My cousin? No, it wasn't possible, Emily would never do this to me, no, she wouldn't, she knew that I loved Sam, she would never do something to hurt me, she wouldn't, wouldn't, no…._

"_Leah?"_

_I was livid. I ground my teeth together and my face twisted into a horrible mask of anger and rage. I lashed out at him, shoving his chest and causing him to stagger back, away from me. I slapped him and punched and fisted at his hair, pulling at it. Sam didn't yell in pain. He wanted me to hurt him. He stood up and I shoved him again and again, pushing him away._

"_How could you? You monster. You bastard. You loved me. You loved _me._ No, it just can't be, Emily would never accept your love knowing that you left me for her… she wouldn't-"_

"_She already knows," he whispered softly, raking a nervous hand through his hair, avoiding my penetrating stare._

"_Sam!" I screamed and pushed him again, harder than ever, landing him on his ass. Then I walked away, killing myself with each step. I loved him, more than anything, and I still did. But the man who was watching me leave him didn't love me back. He did. He doesn't anymore._

_

* * *

_

_We were out in the back yard, Seth and I, enjoying one of our rare moments alone together. We were talking contentedly and amicably about some random stuff, avoiding the subject of our recent phasing. I didn't like talking about it._

_Our conversation was cut short by a howl coming from the forest ahead of us. We didn't waste any time. Seth was running into the forest before me as quickly as he could, stripping off his shorts and dumping them onto the forest floor. I stood up and walked into the woods, stopping at the entrance, close to home, to take off my clothes and phase. As I shook and let my wolf muscles take over, I heard a thud from the house and my mom's panicked voice._

"_Harry?" she asked and I heard her shuffle about in the kitchen, before walking over to the living room, where Dad had been watching TV. As soon as she stepped foot in the room, she screamed. "Harry!" _

_I phased back, pulling on my clothes as quickly as possible and darting into the house to where my mother was bent over the limp body on the living room floor. _

"_Mom?"_

_She looked at me, tears streaking down her face as she watched me make my way over to my dad. He was bent at an awkward angle on the floor. Both his hands were turned at ninety degrees by his sides and his legs were crumpled beneath him. His open eyes were glassy and emotionless and chest was not rising and falling with each breath._

"_Mom?" I asked in a panicked voice, crouching down beside her and looking into her watery eyes._

"_Call 911, call your brother, call the pack, call everyone, now," she ordered as the tears slid down her cheeks._

_I wasn't completely sure what happened after that. The ambulance showed up as soon as Seth, Jake, Sam and Paul burst through the back door._

"_Leah, what happened?" Seth asked as he saw our father being hoisted onto a stretcher and taken away from us. I couldn't stop the tears. They fell happily down my cheeks and blurred my vision. Seth understood why I was crying and his huge form collapsed onto mine as we held each other in an embrace. Jacob and Sam followed the stretcher outside and watched it leave without the siren. A bad sign. Even the paramedics had given up._

_I didn't know how long Seth and I stood in the middle of the living room, our arms clasped around our bodies, holding ourselves together. Mom had gone with Sam to the hospital in the ambulance, Paul had left off and Jake had remained outside, calling everyone we knew to inform them. I could hear Jake's repeated explanation as to what happened but I couldn't find it in myself to listen in._

_Seth's breath wavered close to my ear and he slowly pushed away from me and walked us over to the couch, where we slumped into its lush material only to find ourselves holding each other yet again. I was beyond crying now. The tears had ceased but the tremors kept my body on edge. I was shaking fiercely, but they were not fuelled by anger, this time by pain, sadness and loss._

_The nothingness that had invaded my heart when Sam had confessed his imprinting on Emily at the beach now trebled with the pain that was stabbing at my heart and letting the nothingness take over me, whole. Everything hurt. Every flinch, every movement, every breath, every sigh, every wince, everything. Each emotion pounded at me, and each memory seared through my thoughts, leaving it's mark etched into the folds of my brain._

_Where had everything gone? Where was the perfect life I had planned out when I was young? Where was my peaceful life? Where was my happily ever after?_

_I was giving up. On everything. What was there left for me to hold onto? My father's face appeared in my memory and I instantly knew that I had caused his death. My phasing. Seth's phasing too. It had all been too much on the old man. So…_

_It was my fault.

* * *

_

_Jacob Black. _

_Gravity._

_Jacob Black was my gravity, holding my feet down to this earth, like a million steels cables attached to my body. He was everything. Everywhere. He was in my every emotion, my every thought, in every part of me. _

_Jacob Black._

_Beautiful, intelligent, brave, courageous… he was perfect in my eyes. Well, I couldn't see anyone else the way I saw him, so I was very biased. _

_I imprinted. As much as I hated the whole concept of having your faith written out for you, I had to admit, faith couldn't have chosen a more better person for me to imprint on, for the simple reason that Jake and I were very close. Our lives would only let the imprint get to a platonic stage now that Jacob was madly in love with Bella Swan, the new addition to Forks' measly population._

_I tried to persuade the imprint to go away, to break it, for Jacob's sake, and to a point, mine but as much as I tried, I couldn't keep away from him. I stayed close to him, without him knowing, through Seth's thoughts and his conversations with him, patrols with him around La Push… every possible means through which I could be close to Jacob, I knew of it. _

_But it was useless. _

_The steel wall that I had constructed to prevent any of the pack members from accessing that part of my brain was my personal work of art. I was constantly adding more to it, making it more secure and inaccessible. I didn't want any of the guys butting in on things that they would get a huge kick out of. My life was miserable. I didn't need anything else that would make it even more so._

_I just wanted some peace and quiet. Some normality, for once. But I doubted that would come any time soon. When I saw how Jake looked at me, so many different emotions playing about on his face but none of which was love, I knew my imprint had been useless. _

_Give up Leah, something in head ordered repeatedly, don't get your heart broken again._

_I snorted. Quite frankly, I had no fucking idea how my heart could get any more broken._

_

* * *

_

I woke up with a start and hit my head on the bedside table. "Fuck," I muttered to myself as I rubbed my sore head. My room was dim. I always pulled the curtains to prevent the very little amount of sun in La Push from entering my room, and waking me up. I had never been a morning person.

I fell back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I didn't have anything to do today, but I didn't want to mope around in bed. I'd go reason things out with Sam's pack, maybe find some loop hole. As much as I hated Bella Cullen, I loved Jake to the core and I would do anything to keep him safe and with me. So, going over to Sam's place and meeting up with the other wolves seemed like a good idea.

I shifted uncomfortably in bed and my face crumpled. I had fought with Jacob, I didn't know if I belonged to Jacob's pack anymore. I guess Seth would know. I had left abruptly without a further explanation of Jake's order.

I was getting out of bed when I saw something in the room, behind a pile of clothes. A pair of amber eyes, like liquid, were staring straight at me.


	6. Chapter 6

Jacob Black

Man, I was totally screwed.

Leah was being an ass about the Cullens, but I was surprised by the way she got on with Rosalie, Alice and even Reneesme. The last one was a total shocker. But I guess her relationships with them were short lasting.

First, I couldn't _believe _Bella lashed out at Leah _when she was holding her daughter. _I also couldn't understand why Bella was so shocked when I tackled her when she was running after Leah. Yeah, I guess she expected me to let her kill my beta because she was carrying her daughter for her. Then, when we went inside, after Edward had calmed her down, to let her meet Reneesme, she literally obliterated my hearing with her scream.

Well, it's not nice to see your first born _blind, _but you don't have to find someone to fucking blame it on. She's blaming it on Leah. I kind of know why Leah refers to her as 'the bitch' now.

Leah is not my most favourite person in the world, but I don't like it when other people talk crap about her. So I stood up for her when Bella was trying to find a reasonable explanation as to how Leah had acted as the carrier, and surprisingly, Rosalie stood up for her too. Maybe Leah had been right, Rosalie was something more than a friend. Well, as close to friends as a vampire and a werewolf can get. But I wasn't going to spoil Leah's first decent friendship after the Sam incident.

Reneesme was awake in my arms. Yes, Bella had let me hold her. She was watching me intently, or rather, Reneesme, but she was eyeing me too. Bella was still the same, if you ignored the blood red eyes and the sickly pale skin. Her hair was a shade darker and her features were now refined to perfection. She finally fit in with the Cullens, like she had always wanted.

Man, those eyes were fucking creepy. They were wide right now, and beady, taking in every detail they could find. The red in her irises was like liquid, and yet it was hard, steely. The eyes of a killer. At least, the Cullens' eyes were somewhat acceptable, to a certain extent.

Something inside me was off… I could just feel it, like a rock at the pit of my stomach, dragging everything towards it. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was there every time I was with Reneesme. It was nothing like an imprint, I was sure of that. I hadn't imprinted on Reneesme, but it was less powerful. A compelling emotion that forced me to protect the child, like my sister. And strangely, this feeling grew significantly stronger when I was around Reneesme and Leah _together._ I couldn't understand, and I didn't want to. It would only mean more complications and pain, inflicted on both Leah and I.

Reneesme was trying to conjure up an image of her mother, but she was _far _off track. She was imagining her mother very similarly to Rosalie, but she was still trying to find the perfect hair colour. And obviously, her eyes were a blank. She tried to merge Leah's, Rosalie's and Alice's image together to get that of her mother, but that just resulted in one big mess.

I knew Reneesme loved Leah. She thought about her a lot when she was with me, probably because she and I smelled so much alike. She thought of us together too, and that would always strike a confusing emotion in me. Our images looked good together. Reneesme had imagined Leah smiling, with full lips and pearly white teeth contrasting greatly against her beautiful, copper skin. Well, I had gotten _too _used to Leah pouting, or being angry and had forgotten her unique smile.

Sure, Leah was beautiful and had an awesome body. Maybe she was the hottest and most sought after girl in La Push, but ever since we were young kids, Leah had always been modest, even though aggressive. She wasn't a girl. Well, she _was _a girl biologically, but mentally she was one of us guys; strong and bad-ass.

However, she had shocked me when she had wanted to see Reneesme. I guess, Leah wanted to be in touch with the mother inside her. I pitied her. She never wanted anything more than to be a mom, and even that had been taken away from her. I would bend over backwards and run twice around the world if it meant I could find a way for her to have kids. I wanted her to be happy, to get the happy ending she had always wanted.

Sam and all the other's were asses so they couldn't understand our relationship. She was like my sister, obnoxious at times, but loving and caring and protective. They'd probably think other perverted things about us if they were in our pack. Our pack mind was different and even Seth had admitted it. Maybe it was because we were like family and not always wanting to beat each other's guts out. I didn't know and I didn't feel like thinking about it. My mind was a total maze.

Reneesme was busy showing me her thoughts, all colourful and childish, and then there were my thoughts, confusing enough on their own. Well, Edward must be enjoying my mind today.

Bella noiselessly got off the love seat and walked away from the living room without uttering a single word. I didn't stop her. Her temper was a nightmare today and her stubbornness had gotten even worse from when she was human. So I let her walk away. Reneesme smelt her mother's fading presence and immediately questioned it.

"I don't know where Momma went, darling, but I'm sure she'll be here soon," I reassured her and felt her thoughts calm down and go back to the colours.

The house was silent, as it always was when I was around. All the vampires sort of 'evacuated' when I visited, as if I was spreading the plague or something. Edward and Emmett were very considerate and stayed with me. Emmett usually indulged in a crappy video game and Edward always got a kick out of reading my mind.

But today, no one was home. Most of the Cullens had gone on a hunting trip and the few that had remained, namely Alice and Esme, who were rearranging something over at Bella's new cottage. So I was alone with Reneesme. Well, as alone as you can get in here. Edward had stayed and was upstairs in his old room, clearing something out silently. Technically, I wasn't alone. It just felt like it. I couldn't keep up a conversation with Reneesme because she couldn't talk back, even if she wanted too. She could just think, and thank God for her gift.

Reneesme asked about my life a lot. And I had always managed to avoid telling her what I truly was. She knew about vampires, I just wasn't sure if I _wanted _to tell her about werewolves. I had already gotten away with telling Bella before. But, Reneesme was a fair mix of mythical things herself. The Quileute laws only prevented us from telling a human, if the latter was not our imprint.

_Jacob, are you a vampire?_

"No, of course not. I'm… something different. I'm supposed to be the vampire's enemy but it seems I'm their friend now."

_Oh, _she muttered. _Then are you human?_

"Nope," I answered, popping the 'p'. "I'm different from your mom and dad and I'm also different from humans. I'm… a werewolf." There it goes, I said it.

Her thoughts stopped for a few seconds before she started bombarding me with questions.

_A werewolf?_

_How?_

_Do you actually look like a wolf? Or do you change?_

I calmly and slowly answered her questions, explaining from the very beginning what I was. I also included Leah and Seth in my explanation, telling her that they were werewolves too. She seemed quite shocked at that, but she let me go on, not stopping me at all. She just let me finish before she cleared her doubts with me. She seemed to understand the whole concept of me being a werewolf and was okay with it. She was Bella's daughter after all. She was supposed to be good with weird. Which she was, unsurprisingly.

Reneesme's thoughts then flowed on, as she tried to imagine me in wolf form, as well as Leah and Seth too. I tried to give her a detailed explanation which she could work on, but she didn't manage to find the right shape. I felt the frustration in her as she realised she wasn't doing it well. It was hard on her, not being able to see things, but I hoped she would learn to adapt to it.

Although, I couldn't see how she could get any better, considering that she still wasn't eating anything, neither blood nor human food. Carlisle still couldn't understand why she wasn't eating and he was worried about her, but she wasn't starving or anything. And she definitely didn't seem weak. She was normal, so to speak. Bella and Edward were trying to feed her, but she was repeatedly rejecting any food they gave her.

_Leah… _I was caught off guard as Reneesme thought of her again, her image flooding into both of our minds, smiling. Man, I missed Leah's smile and her laugh, too. Reneesme surrounded Leah's image with her feelings: love, warmth and longing. She missed her and wanted her with her. Aw, Bella would get a kick out of this for sure.

_Is Leah coming here soon?_

I hesitated. Leah had said she didn't want to come back here, and she had reason to say so. "No, Nessie, not yet. Soon though, soon…"

She seemed to believe me and rested her head on my shoulder, breathing me in and exhaling as she fell asleep.

And there it was again. The strange pull as I wrapped my arms around her little form. I- I couldn't help it, no matter what. Reneesme was okay, but I was still fairly mad at Bella for almost attacking my beta. My girl, my werewolf.

But I couldn't tell her about my feelings, I couldn't express my feelings for her properly. Because Leah was still healing. Her emotional scars were still fading and sealing and she needed her space. I couldn't destroy the control she had built after her heart break. I couldn't… _hurt _her again. I just couldn't. So, I need to keep my emotions in check, because I know that I will hurt Leah if I tell her that I love her. I know this because I still haven't imprinted, and if I eventually will imprint on someone, I don't want Leah to be there to see me leave her.

I love Leah too much. She has been the only one who has seen the truth when every one has believed the lies. She had been the one to follow me to the Canadian border when I had ran away during Bella's wedding. She had been there for everything and for everyone. She had felt the heart break, the longing, the anger, the frustration, the rejection…. She was always there, for each and every one of us, especially for me. She had opened my eyes to the world, to the feelings and to the opportunities. And I had grown to love her.

I was terrified to imagine Leah with another man, walking down a petal-coated aisle in a flowing, white gown towards him, round with his child, smiling, glowing, beautiful as always. And I would be stuck with a fucking imprint. Doomed to 'love' a stranger for the rest of my life. I groaned in frustration and kicked the coffee table. Reneesme shuddered in my arms but she didn't wake up. Her chocolate eyes remained closed and her breathing steady.

I loved Leah.

I loved Leah to fucking bits. I loved her enough to let her go without hurting her. Leah would never know about my love for her, she wouldn't have a single clue. And we will go our separate ways, live our lives as fate intended and remain friends, but nothing more. Nothing more.

I pulled the table towards me with my toe and lifted my feet onto it as I leaned back into the couch. My eyes traced the dark beams that held the ceiling and the crystal chandelier that filled the room. The lush curtains that fell to the floor, the polished, clear windows…

I was weirdly observant today. I guess I was in an emotional mood, which was unusual for me.

A loud thud brought me from my silent reverie. The front door hit the wall and a distraught Seth stood, panicked, in the doorway. His eyes were wide and frantic and clear beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. His dark hair was messy and it was falling into his eyes. He was shaking fiercely and his skin had a strange, pale undertone to it.

I stood up, leaving a confused Reneesme on the couch. "Seth, what's wrong?"

His eyes zeroed in on me and I could see his bottom lip trembling. He raked a nervous hand through his hair. "It's Leah."


	7. Chapter 7

Leah Clearwater

"_Bella?" I asked as I got off the bed and edged towards the open window. If it came to a fight, and Bella was indeed in my room, then I would escape out of the window. This was a first, Leah Clearwater backing away from a fight, but I wasn't fucking stupid. I knew that Bella would be stronger and faster than I am. I would get myself killed if I provoked her. So, jump out of the window was a good plan._

_The thing, vampire, whatever, moved to stand up and a head of blonde hair fell around it's shoulders._

"_Rosalie?"_

That scenario was playing about inside my head. I wished it were true. The vampire in front of me was tall, blonde and beautiful, like all the others, but I had never seen her before. Her wide eyes were golden too, which meant that she was like the Cullens. Still, I was sceptic of her. It's not normal to find a vampire in your room.

She was looking at me, and I could see that she was holding her breath so as not to breathe in my scent. I was ignoring hers too, but I wasn't making that much of a show about it. I was too busy finding the right position to be both close to the window and facing her. I wanted to ask her loads of questions, to annoy the crap out of her with my queries… I mean, I have right to. She was in my fucking room, watching me sleep. She was like a freaking stalker.

"Leah Clearwater, right?" her bell-like voice asked. Oh, so she was going to ask _me _questions? Everything is right in the world, then.

I nodded once and jutted my chin out, standing up to my full height so that I was taller than her. Heck, I was taller than everyone, but whatever. "And you are?"

"Irina Denali. From the Denali coven in Alaska." _Shocker. _She was from fucking Alaska? "I suppose you know what I am. And I know what you are. So we're more or less even."

I shrugged and balled my fists by my sides. "More or less."

A grim smile crept onto her face and she swept her chin-length, silvery-blonde hair away from her face. "Unfortunately. You are more and I am less."

I was confused. What the hell was this bimbo talking about? I was _more _and she was _less_? Man, these vampires all have twisted minds. I can never really understand how their logic works…

"You know Laurent?"

Laurent? The reggae vampire with the dreads? The one Jake and the others had killed before he attacked Bella? I guess I know about him. I don't know if it would be a smart thing to admit that I knew him. The look on her face showed me that this Laurent had meant something to her.

"No, I don't know him. Never heard of him."

Her face twisted into an angered mask and her lips pulled back to reveal glistening, white teeth. If vampires could cry, Irina would've. She caught me off guard. In a flash, I was being held against the wall, with iron fingers clasped around my neck, suffocating me. I kicked and trashed to break free of her strong hold, but when she saw that I was fighting her, she only pressed her fingers harder around my neck.

I could feel the blood getting trapped in my head, and my eyesight was dotted with moving, black spots as the blood beat against the insides of my skull. The numbness crept up from the tips of my fingers and it numbed my arms and legs as the blood got trapped in my head.

"You _do _know him. Liar. _Liar!_" she screamed as she grabbed my neck and repeatedly banged me against the wall. My head hit the wall too many times for me to keep count, but I could feel the wall giving way beneath me. I tried to muster up some energy to phase, but I couldn't find any, and I wasn't angry enough to do so on impulse. I was _helpless. _I knew I didn't stand a chance. She had her fingers clasped too firmly around my neck.

She screamed and her other hand grabbed my arm and twisted it at an odd angle. I knew I should have screamed at the pain that I should have felt, but the numbness gave me no such feeling.

"_You killed Laurent! You killed him!"_ she screamed again and again as she threw me against the wall. She caught my limp body and threw it again, sending me flying through the wall. Her hands were finally away from neck, and the blood quickly trickled through my veins and I could feel every part of me again.

_No!_ I mentally screamed as my body fell to the ground. I knew I would feel every broken bone, every ounce of pain that I hadn't felt before.

The ground met my back and I arched my body as it crippled with pain. My left leg was bent beneath my body and I could feel the warm, red moisture dripping from numerous places in my body. It pooled around me and soaked my hair and my clothes. My head felt heavy, like I was being pushed underwater. My eyes couldn't see through the blood that was dripping from a gash in my head and my mouth was dry. My lungs cried out for air, sweet, fresh air, but I couldn't breathe through the dryness. It was like my mouth trapped any kind air inside it and destroyed it.

Pain ran through my veins, digging it's nails into my muscles and my bones and setting them on fire. The flames licked at my skin and burned holes through it. I could feel it: the end, the nothingness… the dark. It was already at the edges of my consciousness and my vision, taking over slowly.

Irina didn't touch me again. Maybe she knew that I was dying, that there was no hope for me. That was it then. I was dead. Well, it would be better than this pain. Never-ending and torturous. Irina had probably wanted to avenge Laurent's death, who had probably been her lover, her mate. Vampires had a thing for revenge. That creepy red-head had started a newborn army to avenge _her _mate's death, so didn't come as a surprise that Irina wanted that too.

At least they had felt love, at some point in their life. I had never felt anything, apart from anger, bitterness and jealousy. Because no one loved me. No one was here to watch me die, to tell me that they loved me, that they'd miss me. No one. It had always been like that. I was always alone, and there was no one.

Seth's warm, happy face came to mind. Jacob would take good care of him, I knew that. Seth would grow up to be a strong werewolf, loved by everyone and he surely wouldn't spend his life alone. He would be happy. And I would be happy too, then. Yes, I would be happy.

Jacob's face drowned Seth's out. Jacob and his warm eyes, that said and felt everything. Jacob my leader, the one who protected me and all the others. The one who held my heart, always. Jacob would need a new beta. He'd probably choose Seth. Or he'd just stay alpha on his own. Jacob would find a way to keep the Cullens safe. He would forgive the vampires for killing me. He would be Reneesme's friend. He would meet someone, imprint, and have beautiful little kids with his eyes.

Everyone would be happy.

So I would be happy too.

Jacob Black

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong.

I could just feel it. An _intuition. _A knee-deep feeling that something unexpected is going on, something that will break me, or one of us. We were running in the woods, back towards the Clearwaters' house, were we hoped Leah was, unharmed.

Seth's thoughts were concerned and the emotions he was throwing off were like waves in an angry sea. They crashed against me and sent my thoughts over board, as they caught me off guard. Seth was worried for his sister a lot. I gave him reason to, of course. Leah was the only type of family he had. She loved him to bits and he reciprocated her love too. His mind was like a hurricane of thoughts, a sea of emotions and his body was like a volcano. If I said something to set him off, he'd explode.

I was concerned for Leah too. That vampire chick looked guilty, the way she had run away from us when she'd crossed our paths was too suspicious for my liking.

So we were running, like two deranged maniacs back home. I could hear a frantic heartbeat and it worried me. The beat was regular for a few seconds, then weak for another few. It was as if the beat was on and off. I could also make out a very weak pulse, throbbing through the person's veins.

But what worried me the most was the _smell._

Seth had smelt it too, and didn't seem too happy about it. I couldn't exactly describe what the smell was, I guessed it was a mixture of two different scents, and it was confusing, to say the least. But I couldn't concentrate on the it. Seth was driving me to the edge with his worried thoughts, and although I understood that he was extremely worried about his sister, he could at least be considerate and keep his thoughts to himself.

_Leah is gonna be okay, Seth, trust me… She's strong, she knows what she's doing… just you wait and see…_ I reassured. The calm, relaxed voice came from somewhere deep inside me, someplace I didn't know existed, but it worked, and I was happy for it.

The silence in my head was nice as we ran into the forest, dodging trees and bushes and boulders in our way. We would be getting to Leah soon. I just wish I knew what the smell was…

Seth Clearwater

_Leah is gonna be okay, Seth, trust me… She's strong, she knows what she's doing… just you wait and see…_

Jacob's voice bounced off the walls of my mind as I ran with him, towards our home. He was trying to calm me down, to convince me that Leah was okay, but I wasn't letting him stuff this bullshit down my throat. I wasn't stupid. I could tell from the way the blonde vampire had looked at us that she had done something, that she was guilty. Jacob was trying to hide the fact that he, too, had noticed the guilt in the vamp's features, but I was easily penetrating through his weak, mental wall.

I was madly sniffing the air we were running in. It was taking us quite a long time to get back to our home. I guess we had ventured farther out than I had thought. The air was drenched in our scents: Paul's, Sam's, Embry's, Quil's… And all the other wolves, including Leah. Her scent was gracefully weaved around trees and bushes all over the place and I could imagine Leah running around them in wolf from. But there was something else, and Jacob had noticed it too. It was a smell, but not _just _a smell. It was a mixture of smells that didn't go well together: one far too sweet, almost sickening, and the other was disgusting, yet familiar. We couldn't determine what the scent could mean, but I only hoped that it mean anything bad.

I caught the vampire's smell too, very faint and subtly, hidden high up in the trees and crouching low among the leaves. I realised that the vamp's scent was similar to the sickly sweet one in the smell we had caught earlier. And this smell was leading to a place I didn't want it to lead to. Back home. To Leah.

_Seth, freaking calm down, please… if anything's wrong, we'll fix it, don't worry, _Jacob reassured, for the millionth time, but no matter how much he tried, I couldn't be calmed. He just couldn't get it into his head that no amount of reassurance would ease my anxiety.

We ran quickly through the woods, instinctively following my sister's scent, and the vampire's too. The woods were silent, no animals or birds or any other wolves from Sam's pack running patrols. Jacob was still trying to figure out what the smell could mean, but he was also listening in on the faint heartbeat and pulse that had caught his attention earlier. I watched his mind for a few seconds, seeing what he was thinking and watching the woods through his eyes. There were a couple of walls in there, blocking Jacob's most prized thoughts from me.

My nostrils flared as the smell reached us again. It seemed stronger here, and now it was mixed with something else, something metallic and rusty. Now, it was truly disgusting. A ripple ran down my spine as the smell got stronger and stronger as we approached our home.

_What could it mean?_ I asked Jacob frantically. Now, I was positive that something was very wrong, possibly with Leah.

_Seth, believe me when I tell you that I don't know, but I'm sure it's nothing._

We ran towards an opening between two massive trees that led on to our back yard. My heartbeat picked up and excitement and anxiety coursed through my veins as we passed by the trees and burst out onto our back yard.

And stopped.

Alarm rang through Jacob's thoughts, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from the scene awaiting us in the yard. My blood went cold and my legs collapsed beneath my weight and I fell to the ground. It was like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I suddenly knew what the smell entailed: the sickly sweet part of it belonged to the vampire. The disgusting familiar tint belonged to a person, and the metallic rusty smell could only mean one thing.

Blood.

There, lying in a pool of deep, red blood, was Leah's mangled body, lying motionless on the ground.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, so I've realised I'm not following standard fanfiction protocol... so here goes:**

**I don't own Twilight. Or any of the characters in this story *cries in denial***

**But anyway, I'm getting a real kick out of all your reviews, so keep 'em coming! I hope you enjoy the chapter everyone ;)**

Leah Clearwater

I was supposed to be in darkness now, someplace where there was nothing and nothing was wrong. But then, why was there heat on my skin and colours on my eyelids? Surely I was in the wrong place? Maybe I had gone to heaven after all. The heat was there for sure. It licked my body in all the possible places and made me warm inside, like everything inside me melted at it's fiery touch.

But as the heat moved upon my body, places hurt. Then, maybe I wasn't in heaven? The heat touched my legs, but I couldn't feel it there. As it trailed up to my stomach, it was like I was being set on fire. My chest burned like hell as I took in one intake of breath and exhaled another. I tried to hold back the screams, but the fire was hurting too much. My eyes flickered open and when I looked at my body, there was no fire, no flames lapping at my skin. Nothing. My scream came out just a whimper, accompanied by a shudder that shook my whole body. I wasn't in heaven, nor was I in hell. Through blood-caked eyes, I could see trees and bushes, a whole world of green. I was in the woods, close to home.

Then was I still alive? Was that even possible? I was sure Irina had killed me. I couldn't move my body, though. I wasn't moving freely and on my own. No, I was being carried. A pair of strong, warm arms were wrapped around my knees and back, holding me to a broad chest that was rising and falling rapidly as we ran further into the forest. I guessed that the warmth was coming from this guy, who was holding me. But now, it was a comfortable warmth. No longer painful, but familiar.

I knew that I was weak. I could feel it in my bones and in the aches that resonated through me as I was jostled slightly as he ran. I had to give it to him, he really wasn't moving me around too much. It didn't hurt a lot when he accidentally hit my back with his arm, but I was still in general pain. Close behind us, I could hear a thudding far below on the ground beneath us. There was probably a wolf with us, because from the number of consecutive thuds that I heard, it did seem like a wolf to me.

A searing pain travelled through my skull, causing it to thud and thud. It was like I had a headache, only this was worse. The pain only got more unbearable and I buried my head in the person's chest, trying to ease it, but it didn't change a damn thing. So I just let go of my head and let it dangle over the edge of the person's arm, lolling to and fro as he moved. The colours were still there, dancing about on my eyelids, entertaining me in a way. Because they were there. And I was alive, no matter the pain and the discomfort. I was alive, and that was a fact.

* * *

Cold. Very cold. Deathly cold.

Two comparisons so far apart that they confused me. First, blistering heat then freezing cold? What the hell was up? Then, something grasped my broken hand, drowning it in the same cold that I had felt before. But now, it was in feathery touches that trailed upon my skin.

"Hold still," a velvet voice whispered into my ear. I couldn't move if I wanted to, but whatever. The velvet voice's hands tightened around my wrist and elbow and suddenly, he pulled it down, straightening it down beside my body. I couldn't hold still then, but he had anticipated my reaction. I thrashed about on the bed, but he held my arm down, waiting for it to heal. My eyes were open now, still trying to get used to the light in the room. It was far too bright for me, and I was momentarily blinded as I screamed through the pain.

Another pair of hands held my shoulders down, but these hands were warm and rough, something I was accustomed to. The new hands held me down and a soothing, husky voice from above tried to reassure me that everything was okay. The pain from my hand had stopped but my arm was still being held down. The light was dimming before my eyes and I could see again. I was in a room I had never been in before, but there were two scents I recognized; one of vampires and one of werewolves.

"Leah, I need you to hold still for me now." Oh, Lord, not again! I braced myself as the feathery touches made their way to my leg. Fairly enough, my leg was in a really bad position. It was bent beneath my body because it had crippled beneath my body weight back at home. The two hands cradled my mangled leg, clutching it from the knee and the ankle, before he straightened it out too.

I heard the bone crack and felt the pain travel through my leg. It was unbearable. The cold hands held my leg down again, and another pair held my hand down. The same, warm hands still held me from my shoulders. These hands were comforting. The others… eh, not so much. I willed myself to calm down. I willed myself to ignore the pain. And after a few minutes of convincing myself to stop, I did. The cold hands were off of me in an instant but the warm ones trailed down my forearm and grasped my hand.

I blinked thoroughly twice before I turned my head around to see who was there. To my left, there were two blonde vampires. Carlisle and… Rosalie. She had helped me? They were smiling as they saw me looking at them and Rosalie stroked my hair with her marble fingertips.

"It's okay, Leah. You're fine now. Carlisle saved you."

And then, she left, without a single word. To my left, there was just one person. One, hulking figure who was holding my hand eagerly with a twinkle in his eye.

"Jacob," I croaked and tried to squeeze his hand. He realized what I wanted to do, and did it himself, just barely squeezing my fingers to keep from hurting me.

"I'm here, Leah. I'm sorry I wasn't there before. I could've saved you all this discomfort and all this… pain. It was all my fault…."

I shook my head fervently. He didn't need to apologize for something he hadn't caused.

"Don't… don't apologize. It's not your fault."

Suddenly, his face was only inches away from mine. His breath was on my face, warm and sensual and his deep, dark eyes were serious. "It _is _my fault, Leah. If I hadn't yelled at you and you hadn't run off, things would have been different."

"Yeah… But Irina would have found me some other time and did the-"

"What did you say the name of vampire was?" Carlisle interrupted, anxiety laced deep into his voice. I tore my gaze away form Jacob's face to look at him. His eyes were wide with worry and he was fisting at his hair.

"Irina Denali… From Antarctica, I think. I don't know, someplace beginning with-"

"Alaska. The Denali coven in Alaska."

"Yeah. She mentioned something about the vampire with the dreads that you had killed… Laurent was it?"

"You mean the vampire who had almost attacked Bella?"

I nodded and watched as both their eyes grew wider.

"Oh, no," Carlisle muttered and called for Edward and Alice. Jacob and I looked at the door as two blurs appeared there. Edward had alarm written all over his face and Alice seemed unsure. Alice is never unsure. So, it automatically seemed like a problem.

"What happened to Irina, Jacob?" Edward asked adamantly. He didn't wait for an answer. He sifted through Jacob's thoughts until he found the memories he needed. His jaw clenched and he raked a nervous hand through his dishevelled hair. "Tanya, Kate and Carmen will be furious. We have to keep them in the dark for as long as possible."

Alice's eyes were glassy as she stared ahead, into the future. "I don't see them coming anytime soon. But they will start to question her disappearance a few weeks from now."

"We'll find a solution. A compromise, something. But we won't worry about that now. Leah, you focus on getting better. I think you should spend a few days here, if you want. We can take you home, but you'd be in more pain if you did so, so it's your choice."

He checked a few things that were attached to me before he slowly walked out of the room, with Alice in tow. Edward stood motionless in the doorway, a crease forming between his brows as he thought in frustration. I was too curious to care about what he was worried about. I looked impatiently at Jacob, who was looking at Edward intently.

"Jake," I called and he quickly whipped his head to look at me. "What did you do to Irina?"

His expression turned grim immediately. "We caught her in the woods, running away from your house. She had your scent mixed with hers so Seth wanted us to follow her. When she saw us, and we saw her face, I could see that she was guilty of something. Just the way she looked told me that she had done something wrong. I was too mad to think properly. And Seth was mad too. So, we followed her way out and when we caught her, we acted on instinct and ended her. We had to make a fire the primitive way so we took long. That's why we reached you later. We couldn't leave the separate pieces lying there."

"Jacob, I don't-" Edward began, but he was interrupted by a pair of thudding footsteps coming from the hallway. Seth knocked Edward out of the way and darted to my side. His eyes were wide and his lips were pulled up into an ecstatic grin. He was breathing heavily as he stroked my hair.

"Leah!" he sighed, then fell to his knees beside the bed. I looked at him and smiled at my little brother. I could see the lines of concern evident on his face, but they appeared to be fading as Seth's smile grew even wider. "You're fucking okay! I was so damn worried!"

I laughed along with him, and Jacob chimed in with us. Edward was staring at us, but I didn't even want to know what was annoying his sorry ass. As long as Seth was safe, Jacob was okay and I was alive, nothing mattered.

"He's right about the worried thing. I carried you myself because he looked far too unsteady in my eyes. He almost passed out about five times on our way here." Seth nodded in agreement to Jacob's comment and I laughed harder. Suddenly, laughing didn't seem like such a good idea. As the laughter bubbled inside my chest, something jabbed at me from the inside. My right hand curled automatically around my chest, holding my ribs. The fire was there again. It spread out and engulfed my pain, replacing it with discomfort, panic and strain.

"Carlisle!" Jacob bellowed and I could see the worry in his eyes. He looked at me as my chest contracted and extracted as my body desperately searched for air.

"Jacob, what's-Leah!" Cold wisps of air hit my body and soon, Carlisle Cullen's face hovered above mine. "Tell me where it hurts, Leah."

My weak fingers motioned to my chest and Carlisle pulled up my shirt to expose my stomach and the majority of my chest. I heard Seth gasp and let out a scared whimper. The fire trebled in size, heat and ferocity and I desperately wanted to scream.

"Leah, things will only get better if you calm down. Force yourself to not panic and then you will be able to breathe again."

"Come on Lee, you can do it," Jacob urged. So, I tried. I filled my thoughts with peaceful, serene things and I regulated my breathing. The part of my mind that had lost control because of the panic was now quiet. I could feel the fire dissipating inside me and my chest was no longer rising and falling fervently and out of control. I inhaled and felt the cool air invade my nostrils, tickle my airways, then settle down in my lungs. I pushed air out too, in a methodical manner, feeling it leave my body. No more pain. Not an ounce of frustration was left. I let a light smile appear on my face and I saw all the worry fade from Jacob's eyes. Seth was quiet.

"There you go. Now, Leah, I suppose you have realized that you shouldn't strain yourself or do sudden things that might affect your breathing, like laughing, moving too quickly…. Straining yourself in general," Carlisle said, pulling down my shirt. "You see, your ribs are still healing. And any sudden movements or actions from your part might cause your ribs to jab your lungs since they are still very prone to moving around. So, I suggest you take it slow for now, okay?"

I nodded briefly, still too afraid to talk. His face disappeared from my view and Jacob's beautiful one replaced it. He was… smiling. In a sad way. I looked to my left and I saw Seth sitting on a chair with his head in his hands. I couldn't see his face as it was covered by his shaggy hair.

"What happened to him?" I asked Jacob and he shrugged. He didn't seem worried about him.

"He saw you having difficulty breathing and he freaked out. You see why I didn't let him carry you? He was like this the whole way over…."

"God, you're making it look like I'm going soft."

"So you aren't?" I teased him as he walked over to my bed again. He kneeled and rested his pale head on his arm. I had never seen him so pale before. It was like he was sick, like all the copper had been drained from his face and just the sick undertone had remained. His large, brown eyes were frantic at first, but when they locked with mine, they settled down and the usual glimmer returned. That tiny spot of light in his otherwise dark eyes reassured me that he was now okay.

"Ha ha," he retorted and he stroked the cast that Carlisle had managed to get my hand into. "Can I sign your cast?"

I rolled my eyes at his childish request, but he immediately took that as a yes. He darted out of the room and I chuckled. No matter what happened, Seth would always stay the same. The childish, happy-go-lucky little brother. I looked over at Jacob. He had dragged a chair over to the bed and he was now sitting at the bed, watching me. Which was exciting for all the obvious reasons.

_Aw, man, Clearwater, you're going fucking soft!_ the tiny, mental voice said in anger. Yes, I had realised that the more time I spent with Jacob, the softer I got. But that seemed like a common trait with the imprints, so I didn't mind that bad ass Leah had 'sort of' taken a back seat.

"Leah! Look who wants to see you!" Seth exclaimed as he bounded into the room. In his left hand, there was a whole pouch of markers with which he could write, and in his right hand, clinging to his neck, was Reneesme, who was busy sniffing the air and taking in our scents. Seth soon realised what he had said and I saw him wince. But Reneesme didn't seem insulted by the fact that Seth had clearly pointed out that she wanted to do something that she couldn't do. She was too immersed in smelling the air to care. Her palm was pressed against Seth's neck, giving him complete access to her mind.

He walked her over to the bed and settled her onto it, next to me. She breathed in me and moved slightly to curl her body against mine. Her hand found my palm and she squeezed my fingers.

_Hello Auntie Leah. I hope you're okay. I was really worried. When Jacob brought you home to Grandpa Carlisle, I smelt the blood and I was really confused because I didn't know what was going on. But Auntie Rose explained everything and told me that you were going to be okay. But I still wanted to speak with you. Are you fine Auntie Leah?_

I smiled. "Yes, I am, Nessie. I am now, thanks to Grandpa Carlisle. And Jacob. And Auntie Rose. I'll be able to move about again soon."

_Will you be able to become a wolf too? Like Jacob?_

I was dumbstruck. How did she know that I was a wolf? Sure, Jacob had probably told her that was one, but why me too? She probably thought I was some king of monster freak, instead of normal, like her family. Well, as normal as her family can get…

_I don't know what you look like in wolf form, Auntie Leah. Jacob was trying to teach me but I just couldn't get it right, _she explained slowly before her thoughts were quickly filled with my image. In her thoughts, I was smiling an everlasting smile and I was happy, with no trace of the pain evident on my face. My hair was floating around my face in dark tendrils but I wasn't tugging it out of my eyes, like I usually did. Instead, I let it cover my eyes and my mouth as I looked at something distant. Then, my face faded and Jacob's face took it's place.

His dark, meaningful eyes were the main attraction and they were smiling, with the edges crinkled from the effort. His full lips were smiling too, showing off his pearly whites. His short, messy hair was also being moved by the wind, but it wasn't long enough to get into his eyes. Mine wasn't long either but it was still annoying. His copper skin was the perfect shade in the light of Reneesme's mind. Everything in her mind was good, beautiful or happy. Maybe even all three. The girl was very optimistic. She thought of all the people she knew: Rosalie, Seth, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Bella. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy.

When Reneesme got bored, her thoughts shifted to more simpler things, like colour lines and clouds and flowers that she had conjured up herself. But somewhere, in a deep corner of her thoughts, was a dark, black hole that held scary, true and realistic thoughts. She tried desperately to hide them from me, but they just fled from her grasp and flooded into my mind.

The first thought was that of the darkness she could see. She couldn't see anything else, none of the colours she had seen before she was born. The dullness and the horror she had felt when she had heard her Auntie Rose worry about her. The second thought was how her stomach clenched every time someone tried to feed her. Be it blood or food, her stomach rejected it and it would make Reneesme feel sick if she accepted the food. It was as if she was being bullied from the inside. The third thought was about smells. Even though Reneesme could not see, she had a keen sense of smell. She smelt a lot of things, even faint, subtle scents. She liked meeting new people because this meant having to entail a new and unique scent to the person.

The fourth thought was about her grandfather. She liked his velvet voice, but she didn't like what he had said about her. She knew it was true, but she didn't want to worry the others… The fifth thought was about Bella. She knew her mother briefly and considered Auntie Rose as close to a mother as she could have. She was afraid she would never get to meet her, because of her disease.

And her thoughts went on. They lulled us to sleep, but it wasn't a very deep one. I could still hear Seth as he designed my arm cast, the scrape of the marker against the hard material. I could still smell Jacob beside me and he was talking to Seth quietly. Seth mumbled an incoherent word every now and then but the silence, and Reneesme's even breathing, made it hard for me to stay awake.

So much had happened today, so much pain and confusion, that it just seemed too unrealistic. But sleep took over far too quickly for me to have any time to think of anything. I nestled my head into the pillow and I cleared my mind of everything.

* * *

Reneesme's constant flow of thoughts had stopped, now that she was asleep. I opened my eyes slowly, checking if any part of me hurt. Not an unbearable amount of it, but still, that tiny ache to remind me of what had happened was there. I yawned and felt Reneesme move slightly next to me. Her hands were tucked in front of her face and she was breathing into them. The room was silent, no sounds, no one breathing next to me. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

As I moved to rest on my upper back, something cold moved in the air around us. Someone moved a chair against the floor tiles.

"Bella, leave now," Jacob's husky, pine voice ordered.

Bella sighed in her bell-like voice. "I need to talk to her, Jacob."


	9. Chapter 9

Leah Clearwater

"I need to talk to her Jacob," Bella insisted. Jacob was blocking the doorway with his massive form, his arms crossed in front of his chest. I could see Bella trying to push him aside without hurting him but he wouldn't budge.

"No way in hell, Bella. I'm not going to let you be in the same room with Leah. So just fuck off."

She screeched in frustration. I didn't expect what happened next. Bella shoved Jacob, safety left aside. He staggered back and his face twisted in horror and anger.

"Bella!" he yelled and clutched his shoulder. "You dislocated my damn shoulder!"

She raised her eyebrows in confusion and frustration took over her features. "What?" she asked fervently as she moved towards him, holding her arms out in front of her. "Jake, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you- it was a mistake, I'm sorry, I really am… Let me see, please-"

"Oh, shut up, Bella. Just talk to Leah. Make it quick. And if Leah complains about something, that'd be two strikes on your watch," Jacob warned as he left the room, still clutching his shoulder. Bella watched him leave with a concerned look on her face. That look faded immediately when she turned to face me. Instead, she was wearing a blank mask, nonchalance written all over her perfect face. Her stink was the strongest so it was kind of impossible to ignore it. Her wide, crimson eyes stared at me as she walked over to the bed and sat down in Jacob's chair, gracefully crossing her legs and her arms across her chest.

Her eyes never left Reneesme's sleeping form and she looked at her with a certain… adoration. Mixed with tons of pity.

"Listen to me, mutt," she began, in a bell-like voice. Her chin was lifted and it was jutting out, and her eyes were looking at some point away from my face. "I came here to warn you. I see the way you look at Jacob… and it's just not right. If you hurt Jacob, I swear to God, I will personally tear you apart and feed your limbs as meat to wild wolves."

"Oh, hurt him more than _you've _hurt him? How's that even possible?"

She hissed. "That's irrelevant. As long as Jacob's safe and happy, then I am too-"

"You don't deserve a right to be in his life anymore you selfish bitch. You used him. You _used _him and assured him that you would love him forever, that he was the only one for you, until Edward came along all over again. And then, Jacob just wasn't enough, was he? He had done his service to you, he'd given you his love, respect, loyalty and time… but you just chewed him up and spit him out without a second thought."

"Shut up Leah. You don't understand what loving two people means. You're just a sorry ass bitch who annoys everyone else around her."

"Should I be insulted by you by your 'name calling'? Because I'm seriously _not _affected… You think that loving two people is so hard? Loving two people means having to choose between them, but making sure not to hurt them. If you loved Jacob and Edward, you would have let them both go."

She hissed again, louder now, and she was moving closer to the bed. Her stench was far from unbearable but I chose not to comment about it. I just stared into those creepy, red eyes watching as the emotions tumbled in and out of the disgusting colour.

"Shut. Up," she warned. Her teeth were bared and her full, red lips were pulled back over them. Her marble hands were gripping the metal part of the bed, crushing it under the inflicted force. "That has _nothing _to do with this. So stop. You be good to Jacob and I'll promise not to hurt you, okay?" she said.

"You mean if I don't hurt _you_, bitch. If I show anymore interest in Jacob, you'll feel hurt, and attack me to make sure that Jacob will always be yours, your little house pet-"

She cut me off with a high, shrill scream. Everything slowed down as she closed her mouth and looked at me menacingly with those ugly eyes. I felt Reneesme breathe in against me and I saw Seth run into the room. He was next to Bella in a flash and caught her by the neck. He had caught her off guard and she was trying to pry his fingers off of her. She kicked and thrashed, but not even her supernatural new born abilities could surpass Seth's anger and rage, all visible in his features.

His mouth was twisted down, and I could see that his jaw was locked and he was grinding his teeth together, trying not to phase inside. His shoulders were shaking fiercely and I could see that he was releasing all his strength on Bella.

"Seth!" she gasped but he only tightened his grip around her neck. She looked straight at him, revealing her sharp teeth, which were quite close to his wrist. If Bella sunk her teeth into his arm-

Bella aimed a kick at his groin but Seth avoided it swiftly and retrieved his hand from her neck. He swung his fist back, behind his head and hit her directly in the cheek. She stepped back, cupping her cheek in her hand, eyes boring into Seth's face. The horror and confusion were splayed all over her face as she stood up to her full height.

"If you ever touch my sister or harm her in any way, I swear you will not live to see another day," he threatened, pointing a finger directly at her.

Jacob suddenly appeared in the doorway and he quickly snatched Bella's wrist and pulled her out of the room. Both Seth and I listened in on the conversation in silence, hearing Jacob's muffled words and Bella's high, annoying voice.

"…told you to leave her alone… too stubborn…"

"She went too far! I had to stop her!" she whisper-yelled. Bella's words weren't hard to followed, unlike Jacob's who looked as if he was covering his mouth to talk.

I could almost see Jacob rolling his eyes at her. The silence was then drowned out with a pair of heavy footsteps as Bella stomped into the room and scooped Reneesme into her arms. The poor child was startled by the change of temperature and smell and she whipped her head up to sniff her mother. Bella glared at me, then swivelled around on her heel and headed it out the door. Seth and Jacob watched as she left and as soon as she had left the room, Jake's eyes met mine. They were filled with sadness and a slight anger, buried beneath every other emotion.

"You okay, Lee?" he asked, and he seemed genuinely concerned for my well- being. I nodded and let a smile creep onto my face. Seth was trying to calm down in the corner, eyes fixed on a point on the floor. Shudders were still rippling through his body and I could see that he was doing his best to calm them down.

"Seth, everything is okay now, Leah will never be in danger again," Jake said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"How did you know she was going-"

"Alice," Seth stated simply through his teeth.

"She saw Bella attack you and he rushed up here a few seconds just in time. Bella …admitted that she had gone too far and she wants you to accept her apology. But don't accept it if you're still mad at her okay?" he added quickly, seemingly afraid that I would bite him. Something laughed darkly in a corner of my brain, concluding that I was still feared from everyone.

Kudos to Leah.

"Just let me think about it. It's not something I can decide easily. Bella isn't my most favourite person in the world, but an eternal hatred isn't something I want to be involved in. I'll see, okay? Just don't get your hopes up, 'cause I'm not getting mine."

Explaining the situation from my perspective was very tiring and I plopped my head onto the pillow, delving into the comfortable material, as deep as I could go. The pillow was submerged in the vampire's sickly sweet scent, but when someone is as comfortable as I was, scents don't matter as much, no matter how alarming they are.

* * *

I slept comfortably, no pain that woke me, no discomfort that annoyed me, no annoying vampire bitches to got me all mad and stuff…. Nothing. So I was fairly happy about my successful nap. I stifled a yawn and stretched my good hand, hearing the joints pop and smiling.

As I scanned the room, I caught a hulking figure sitting motionless on a chair parallel to the bed. As soon as the person caught me looking at them, he moved to stand closer to the bed, and as I looked up into the person's eyes, I saw Jacob smiling down at me with those dark, meaningful eyes. His skin was drawn over various points on his face, but his breathtaking smile was what caught my attention. And the grey marker smeared on his chin.

"What…?" I asked and I lifted my good hand to brush lightly against his skin, feeling the sizzling effect the slight contact created within me. "What's this Jake?" I asked again, with a chuckle.

His brow furrowed and his large hands were cupping mine, enveloping them in warmth as he held our enter twined hands against his face. "I don't know. Maybe your leg cast could help you find the source?" he suggested with smile and his eyes travelled down to my leg. He propped me up on the bed so that I could look at my leg without hurting myself and I was flabbergasted at what I saw. Tears welled in my eyes and I felt them travel down my cheeks. _Stupid imprint emotions!_

"Hey, Clearwater, no crying. It's just a drawing…"

"No, Jake, it's beautiful," I corrected. I let my fingers trail over the cast, as my eyes adored the picture depicted on it.

The background was black, empty without a trace of any other colour in it. This black joined up with a rich copper colour that was flawless and perfect. The copper was in the form of an oval face, with a strong jaw, that looked delicate and rough at the same time. A large brown eye took up most of the face, and it held a glimmer of light in it, and somewhere in the steady colour, I could spot a trace of emotion. Happiness. And hurt. The mouth was neither smiling nor pouting. It was deliberately showing no emotion at all, leaving that all up to the eye. The cheeks were slightly blushed, a tint of red to the copper. The face was cut up in half, one half of a human, the other of a wolf.

The wolf's fur was a beautiful grey, caught between silver and black. It's ear was held high up, showing courage and bravery, from what I could see. The wolf's coat also melded with the black background, just like the person's hair. But what struck me the most was the wolf's eye. It looked exactly the person's eyes, conveying the same emotions, the same colour, the same shape. And the two eyes together were beautiful. They made the picture look beautiful.

They made me look beautiful.

I recognized the hurt from the person's eyes as my own, but the happiness I had no idea where it had come from. Had Jake caught the happiness in my eyes at some point? If so, then he must've been extremely lucky. Seeing happiness in my eyes was almost an impossibility nowadays. The whole painting took up the whole front of the cast, and the black background dissipated into the white cast's material so smoothly, that it ended it up looking like a dark cloud.

The tears were know falling at a constant speed down my face. I wasn't accustomed to their presence and I didn't know what I should do about them, so I just let them cascade on my skin. Jacob's warm breaths beat against my skin and I could sense the anticipation in them.

"Do you like it, Lee?" he asked nervously and cupped my chin in his palm, forcing me to look at him.

"I _love _it," I breathed and I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my good hand. I smiled and he smiled too, calm taking over his features. "Thank you… I really appreciate it."

My gaze fell to my arm cast and I spotted Seth's scrawny handwriting written all over the cast in different colours. He had written a message or something on it, and he had decorated it with childish smiles and stick figures surrounding the words. I smiled at how cute it looked, but Jacob's drawing took the whole cake.

"I'm glad you do… I spent a lot of time on it and Seth was complaining about how I 'took things too seriously' or something. I just started drawing and then, when I had I clear idea in my head, I didn't want to stop," he admitted sheepishly and he looked at my leg cast again, admiring his work. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah… nowhere hurts like hell or anything…. I'm pretty pissed because I won't be able to phase and run anytime soon, but hey, that's life, right?"

"Right. Um, Leah?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"I'm sorry… and before you start lecturing me about how it's not my fault, I just want to tell you that it _is _my fault. As Alpha, I'm supposed to protect those around me, including my pack members. If I hadn't yelled at you, and told you to go home, if Seth hadn't been on patrol, if he had been with you… we would have avoided all this confusion. The Cullens fear that Tanya, Kate, Carmen and Eleazer won't take Irina's death too well, and that they might rise against them. They aren't afraid that they might lose the battle, they just aren't prepared to fight a coven that they consider 'family'," he explained, using air quotes to emphasize the word 'family'.

"Then they reach a compromise… isn't that what Carlisle said they would do? Or they might accept our apology… however, the treaty was threatened back there, so they have no right to barge in on our land and declare war…" everything seemed fuzzy in my mind right now, and I was slightly confused by my words. "Tell me if I'm talking bullshit, Jake."

He shook his head fervently. "No, no… you're making perfect sense. Why, are you feeling dizzy or something? Leah?"

"Nah… it's just… fuzzy in here, that's all…"

"Leah? Leah!" his words slowly faded in and out of my hearing as the fuzziness shrouded my thoughts, and pushed me under.

* * *

Something snapped at my ears. Repeatedly.

Man, it was annoying. _Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Make it fucking stop!_

My eyes fluttered open and the light above the bed created black spots at random places in my eyesight. They have got to turn the light down in here… The snapping didn't stop after I opened my eyes.

"Leah? Leah, can you here me?" Carlisle asked, and the snapping continued. I watched as the black spots disappeared from my vision and I could see properly again. Carlisle's face was hovering above mine, but he didn't seem worried or concerned or anything. Just a tad nervous. "Leah? Answer me!"

"Yeah, I can hear you alright. Can you stop the snapping please?" I murmured and it stopped immediately. A smile crept onto my face and I closed my eyes, reminiscing the sweet silence that flooded my ears. I sighed in contentment and opened my eyes again, to feel Carlisle dabbing at something on my arm. I looked at what he was doing and saw a clear, white bandage being wrapped my good arm. _Not my good arm! What the hell happened?_

"You needed a blood transfusion because you were losing blood from your wounds. Carlisle had to draw blood from Seth to replace the blood you lost…" a velvet voice explained from somewhere in the room. I recognized it as Edward's, and he had obviously heard the alarm and annoyance at the fact that I felt so weak.

And it was entirely true. I did feel weak. Like a stupid, helpless rag-doll that couldn't do any good to anyone…. Limp arms and legs, unable to move without the help of someone else…. All that shit. And I hated it. I had gotten so used to being independent and doing everything for myself and by myself that letting someone help me get back on my feet again felt… hard. To me, it felt like I was giving up on myself. When life had hit me hard in the face, and beat me and screwed me over, I had only found solace in myself. I had been my own comfort and my own sanctuary. And now, that I was letting not only someone else, but a vampire help me get better, I felt like I was sagging, that I was no longer _me._

"Letting someone else help you doesn't show weakness, Leah. From my perspective, it shows strength of character. You are able to help yourself, but when in need, you are not stubborn enough to neglect other people's help. To tell you the truth, even though you won't like it, your mind is actually a very interesting place to be in. You see the world so differently from others that you never know what to expect…"

I stared, jaw slack, at Edward, who was sitting on a sleek, leather chair in the corner of the room. He was looking at me studiously with that ridiculously gorgeous crooked grin plastered onto his face.

"Why is he here, anyway?" I asked, directing the question towards Carlisle, who had been standing next to me before Edward's little speech. But now, he wasn't in the room. Just me and Edward. Alone. _Awkward…._Edward's grin widened at my internal comment on the situation and I scowled at him, wiping the silly smile off of his face. "Why _are_ you here?"

He leaned back into the chair, and his gaze floated up to the ceiling. I could see his Adam's apple bob up and down his marble throat, his fingers pressing into the fine wood of the arm rest…

"I needed to get away from my family…"

"So you joined the bitchy werewolf instead. Smart move… Wow, I've never expected to experience this: Edward Cullen admitting that he'd fed up of his 'perfect' family…" I said with a dark grin.

He glared at me and his amber eyes hardened. His nails dug deeper into the wood and I could hear the scrape as they tore through the wood. "I love my family more than anything in the world, and nothing could replace them. It's just…. It's so hard, seeing everything that Bella strived for in such a condition. I hate what I've done to Reneesme. She's so beautiful, and yet, she will never be able to see her beauty…"

He looked over at me, telling me with his eyes, begging me to understand his situation. And to a certain extent, I could. I, myself, felt sorry for the little girl, unable to see the world, the beauty…. Everything. Edward had it the worst. He was in her head all day, listening to her thoughts, her deepest, darkest fears like I had-

"She showed you those?" he interrupted, suddenly, curiosity painted all over his refined features.

"Yeah…. She let them slip because she felt it was too hard to keep them from me…She's too young to construct a mental wall that would lock away all her fears…."

"She loves you, you know? Like she loves Bella and I, and Rose… I never thought she'd have such strong emotions for someone she doesn't entirely know. She shocked me at first. She thinks of you and Jacob a lot, together, smiling, all happy. She fascinates me… She's strong enough to try and protect her mother and I, but weak enough to show you what she accidentally showed me. She loves you like a… sister, yes, a sister."

I was shocked at Edward's words. I knew Reneesme loved me, I could see it in her thoughts, but…. It had never occurred to me that I was more than just a friend to Reneesme. Now that Edward had pointed it out, I could see the hints she had thrown at me. My 'little' sister. It seemed strange in my mind, and I could see that Edward found it strange too.

"Leah…. I only ask one thing of you, and I sincerely hope that you agree to my wish."

"Go ahead," I said impatiently, intent on what he was about to say.

"Reneesme is emotionally unstable. She is a rollercoaster of emotions and I can see that it is driving Jasper insane. She changes her emotions quickly and Carlisle thinks that it doesn't do her condition any good to be nervous, worried or scared. So, please, keep an eye on her for me. If not for me, then for Reneesme's sake, please."

I nodded without hesitation and he smiled lightly. He swiftly lifted himself off of the chair and made his way towards the door silently. I watched as he paused by the door, one hand placed on the wooden doorway, head turned back to face me.

"Please, Leah, please take care of my dying daughter," he pleaded softly, before disappearing through the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, so I keep forgetting about the disclaimer thingy very time... forgive me, fellow fanfic readers! :) i promise to try to remember to put the disclaimer up, every time. Not that it would make much of a difference, though... everyone knows only Stephanie Meyer owns the characters mentioned in this story... and i also don't own Two and a Half Men, Christian Lacroix heels and Alice's yellow Porsche... :'(**

**

* * *

**

Rosalie Hale

I watched as Reneesme disappeared into the cottage in Bella's arms and something inside me hurt. An emotional pain, that was both uncomfortable and painful. The fact that the child had been suddenly taken away from me was killing me inside. I was as much of a mother to Reneesme as Bella was, blood relations left aside.

I had envisioned this moment much more different than it is now, I had imagined Reneesme's chiming laughter and her bell-like voice calling her mother, father or me. But there were no sounds coming from the house. Bella was silent too and Reneesme was her usual, non-verbal self. I felt… left aside, alone on the front porch, but I also knew that Bella wanted to spend some private time with her daughter. We all knew how severely her condition was affecting little Reneesme, except Leah, Jacob and Seth. They were still in the dark, for however long we could keep them there. I backed away slowly, silently descending the porch steps and walking towards the woods that separated the cottage from the main house.

I could have run back home, but I wanted some time to myself. I needed to think things through. I needed to analyze the situation. I needed to do so many things… I didn't know from where to begin. So, I decided to start from the obvious. Reneesme was sick, and however much it hurt me to admit it, it was true and not even Carlisle had hope anymore. He had admitted that her condition was getting worse when Leah was still healing. Jacob and Seth had both been sleeping in her room with her and Carlisle had gathered us all together, apart from Reneesme, and he had explained everything to us.

I remembered Bella and Edward's faces as he explained, the feeling in the pit of my stomach, breathing fire into my dead body. No one could believe that Reneesme's life was at such a great risk. It had seemed like a curable disease at fist. We had never thought it would end up being so serious. And Carlisle was drowning in guilt because of it. He was blaming himself because he couldn't find a cure for the disease, he couldn't find a way to save Reneesme. And he was going to keep blaming himself, no matter how convincing we tried to be. Esme was… depressed. And she wasn't talking to anyone. I guessed Carlisle's guilt equalled Esme's guilt, so that was already two vampires experiencing a break down.

Emmett was stricken. He was shocked because he had never expected this. And his usual humour had disappeared which was making Leah and the others suspicious of the situation. Emmett minus the childish attitude was never a good sign. Alice's headaches were getting worse and worse with Reneesme's deterioration. She was always in a bad mood now and she snapped at anyone who passed an unneeded comment or asked a 'stupid' question. Jasper was worse than all of us together. All of our emotions and feelings were affecting Jasper really bad. He would back away into a corner and let our emotions slap him in the face over and over again. Alice had complained about broken furniture and walls in their room, which Jasper had probably broken during one of his moments of frustration.

But the worst of us all were Bella and Edward. Edward had confided in me that he wanted Leah to help me take care of Reneesme. I had been shocked at first, but he had explained that Leah had been very understanding when he opened up to her when she was healing. Edward wanted to have a steady, strong list of people whom he could depend on, should anything happen to Reneesme. I knew my brother was slowly crippling under the burden of his daughter's thoughts. He only let the pain take over when Bella wasn't there to see it break him. He wanted to protect her from the horrors he had seen in Nessie's mind.

Bella was not oblivious to this pain. She wasn't easily fooled, but she chose to ignore it and spend as much time as possible with her daughter. Bella felt guilty, depressed and mad at herself. I had found her many times, desperately clawing at her eyes to free the vampire tears that would never come. Bella and Edward spent most of their time with Reneesme in Carlisle's study, checking her, researching information that could save their daughter…

But they had found nothing, and their flicker of hope was quickly turning to ash.

I nimbly leapt over the river leading up to our back yard, and I could smell Jacob, Leah and Alice inside the house. Alice was probably trying to ease a headache by staying with the wolves, and I suddenly knew what Alice needed even more than the wolves.

A shopping spree.

Alice saw me decide and she appeared in the back door and pulled me to the garage stepping into the Porsche without a word. I guess she really did need it.

* * *

Alice Cullen

My headache was now just a silent throb at the back of my mind. I knew I was peeved at everyone nowadays, but I couldn't help it. No matter how much Jasper tried to calm me down, I always ended up either balled in a corner or yelling at someone. I knew it was selfish of me to unleash my wrath on others, but when Leah was still unconsciously healing, neither Jake nor Seth were available to me. So, plan B had been online shopping.

But now, I was happily wedged between Jacob and Leah watching Two and a Half Men in forced silence. I wasn't technically watching the TV, I was just using their stench as my ticket to look into the future. I could only catch glimpses though. Leah, Jacob, Rosalie, Bella and Edward were all big voids of darkness and doubt in my vision. It was really confusing, like Reneesme was a large, heavy blanket that captured everyone in her embrace, and hid them from me. It was like I was blind, like her. And Edward was deaf. And Jasper was numb. She was killing all of us…

Leah's leg was resting on the coffee table in front of the couch, and between glimpses of the future, I was admiring what Jacob had drawn on her cast. It truly was a beautiful drawing, and I was kinda shocked someone… like Jacob would be capable of producing something so beautiful and perfect. I knew Jacob had talents in him that he hadn't yet explored or developed, but now, as I was looking at Leah's cast, I know that he is progressing, after sixteen years in this life.

Jacob and Leah chuckle along with the show, which to me is just a sex-addicted middle-aged man and his virgin brother with his innocent son. I hate twenty-first century sit-coms. I can't stand them. But that's just me. Emmett _loves _them and usually runs sit-com marathons for days and nights on end. But that's Emmett for you…

Sitting with the wolves and following them around wasn't that bad, once you got over the 'obviously there' scent, but it was easy to overcome. I never thought I'd say this, but I needed the wolves to keep me sane. Jasper needed the wolves for me, because he was far too worried about my emotions. He said they were more frightening than any newborn vampire he had ever confronted sometimes, and I felt sorry for throwing them at him. So staying with the wolves was making my unselfish side resurface.

Being unable to see for most of the time was making me cranky. I was sure of that. I was usually a very calm person, I never crossed any lines drawn by the others, I was careful, I was considerate, and I never, _ever _snapped at anyone, no matter how annoying they were. I was optimistic, but unfortunately, my optimism had faded and weakened along with my vision. I had depended way too much on my vision throughout my life that I now felt like I was lost, like I was going to mess up big time if I didn't see what would happen.

I don't want to seem like I'm regretting my niece's birth, I would never do such a thing, but Reneesme's birth made it almost impossible for me to live in the peace and serenity I had enjoyed before. She had brought so many problems with her… Everyone was worried about her. Edward and Bella were on the verge of collapsing every time they laid eyes on her. Carlisle was feeling guilty, Esme was her usual motherly, compassionate self, Rosalie was desperately clawing at something she didn't want to lose, Emmett had lost all trace of his good humour and Jasper was suffering.

He had explained to me the emotional situations that everyone was in, hoping that talking to someone about it would help the emotions calm down, but his face had remained drawn even after he'd spilled his-

Suddenly, I could see past Reneesme's blanket and Rosalie's split second decision was clear to me. I jumped off the couch, leaving Leah and Jacob still staring at the TV. Rosalie was still making her way up the steps that led to the back door and I impatiently opened it and pulled her inside. I darted into the garage, grabbing my purse off the kitchen table on the way. My yellow Porsche and credit cards were screaming to be used and I just couldn't refuse them.

As we slipped onto the sleek, leather seats, I heard Jacob sigh and Leah shift on the couch.

"Where'd Pixie go?" Leah asked him.

"Shopping, I guess." Ah, they knew me so well in here. Even though I was away from the wolves, my headache wasn't throbbing harder, probably because there was a new remedy coming my way. The credit cards were happily singing in my purse and Rosalie was laughing her musical laugh at how comical I looked. Well, I couldn't care less how I looked now, shocking at first, but I _needed _my clothes, I _needed _the lovely smell of new clothes…

I was being selfish again. I was neglecting my family by making an impulsive escapade to supposedly calm down my raging anger. But I needed it, to help them in a way, I needed to get away from them, from my family.

* * *

I sighed contentedly as I parked the car and jumped out of it, skipping excitedly towards the large department store dead centre in the Seattle. Rosalie followed in silence, holding my purse in her hand, knowing that I would throw it in excitement. The fresh, scented air hit me like a huge wave and I immediately felt at ease. I eyed the first shop and entered, skimming through the clothes.

I enjoyed the feel of the silky material of new clothing beneath my fingertips. The different scents seemed almost foreign in my nostrils, so I enjoyed it even more. Rosalie was looking at a rack of new items somewhere else in the shop, so I was left to do as I pleased. No evidence of the headache that had crippled me back home, no stinking trace. I sometimes wondered if it was just me staying at home that fuelled my headaches, and it made sense to me. The longer I was being tormented by Reneesme's blanket, the worse the headaches got.

"Do you need any help, miss?" I was horribly interrupted by a male voice close to my ear. I tore my gaze away from the rack and glared at the average- sized salesman beaming at me. The way he raked his eyes over my body and the way he crossed his arms in a satisfied kind of manner told me that he usually got every girl he flirted with. He was good-looking, with short, chocolate hair and large blue eyes, a square jaw and a slightly crooked nose…. I just kept glaring at him, trying to show him that I didn't need any help.

"No, thank you… I'm just looking," I answered bluntly and turned around to continue looking at the clothes. A knitted, grey cardigan with long sleeves and a long coat caught my eye and I pulled it out to see it better.

"That would look good with your eyes," he commented and I saw him blink his eyes several times from my peripheral vision. I mentally snorted at his futile attempts at seducing me, but I let him go on with it, nonetheless, wanting to see how far he would go. I was getting a kick out of something after such a long time suffering in silence. "I've never really seen eyes like yours… golden, almost."

I looked back at him, widening my eyes as much as I could, and I blinked thoroughly. I let a smile creep onto my face and I sighed helplessly. "I don't know… I'm not sure of it."

"But really, the dull grey would bring out your eyes more-"

"Alice! Look what I found!" Rosalie's musical voice called from somewhere else in the shop. I saw her prance over with a pair of beautiful Christian Lacoix heels in her hands. I gasped and put the cardigan back on the rack.

"Oh my God, Rose, they're gorgeous!" I squealed and I grabbed the heels from her hands. The salesman was gawking at Rosalie now, and he was practically 'eye-fucking' her, as Emmett would say. She didn't even take notice of him and kept on telling me about the heels as I examined them up-close. They really were a one-of-a-kind pair… and I hadn't bought a pair of heels in-

_Jasper rocking back and forth on the love seat in the corner of the living room, explaining to Leah and Jacob what was wrong with Reneesme, why we were all worried, what it meant to everyone. _

"Rose!" I breathed and dropped the shoes to the floor, hearing the click as the heels made contact with the sleek, polished tiles. "Goddammit!"

I grabbed her wrist and yanked her out of the shop and out of the department store, cursing under my breath.

"Alice, what's up? Is something wrong with Reneesme? At home? The Volturi?"

"No! My husband decided that it was okay to tell Leah and Jacob about Reneesme after we had agreed that we would only tell them if necessary."

"No way, Jasper would _never! _What's happening to him? Leah and Jacob can't know about Reneesme! It would only worry them more and more…"

"I don't care. We're going to stop him."

* * *

Leah Clearwater

We watched as Jasper tried to calm down on the couch. He had almost had a fit upstairs in his room, and he had come down here after we had called for him. I was worried about the poor, emo dude. It must be one heck of a job, listening to the Cullens' endless trail of emotions, so I had to give it to him for managing to hold on so long.

His shoulders shuddered and he lifted his palms to his temple, rubbing his fingertips into the unbreakable skin. His large, amber eyes darted frantically from Jacob to me and back again. His chin was resting atop his knees and his whole body was shaking fiercely. I could sense a hint of frustration and confusion being tossed at me, but as Jasper had explained, it seemed as though he could only project very little compared to the emotions being bombarded at him.

"Reneesme is sick," he started with a weak voice that wavered slightly.

"Yes, we know that Jasper-"

"No, she is very sick, _extremely _sick… like she could die. No, not she could die. She _is _dying, right now. She's not getting any better and she won't. Never. She's going to die, soon."

A gust of cold wind chilled me, making my constant 108 degrees drop frighteningly. I felt my blood go cold inside me, and my heart beat frantically in my chest as confusion clouded my brain and the world around me seemed to revolve slower than it had been revolving before. My head felt dizzy and the tiny, black spots that were shrouding my vision grew in number.

"What?" I stuttered, only managing to utter that single word. Sweat beaded on my forehead as my body returned to it's natural temperature and I felt Jake tense up next to me. His hand found mine and he laced our fingers together by our sides and squeezed them tight.

"Carlisle knows that Reneesme's condition isn't going to get any better, and he's trying not to lose hope but he can't seem to find a cure that would work both on her human and vampire side-"

"Jasper!" a shrill voice yelled and almost immediately, Rosalie and Alice were towering over Jasper's terrified form with their hands on their hips.

"I thought we had agreed to not tell Leah and Jacob about-"

"Wait. You didn't want to tell us? Why the fuck would you agree on doing that? Don't we have a right to know what's going on?"

"Jacob, shut up. You don't have anything to do with this."

"Yes, we do in fact," I interjected harshly, silencing Alice with one of my trademark scowls. "We agreed on a treaty… we have a right to know what is going on on the other side of the agreement. You… you didn't want us to know? Why? Does it make that much of difference if we know or not? And Edward wanted me to help you, Rosalie, take care of Reneesme…! I can't _believe _it!"

"Leah," Rosalie gasped and she looked at something behind me with her eyes widened in horror. I didn't turn around as the stench assaulted me and she growled from behind me. I would recognise the scent anywhere. _Isabella Marie Cullen._


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (duhhhh...) or any of the characters in this story... I'm just making sure that the right characters get their happy ending :) **

Leah Clearwater

"What the hell is up with you people? How can you trust the werewolf with my child?" Bella yelled from the back door before she stormed into the living room with a helpless Reneesme in her arms. Our eyes met and she scowled at me before she sat on the couch, as far away from me as possible. Reneesme smelt me and she leaned forward towards me, but Bella held her back. "No, Reneesme, you stay here, with Mommy, okay?"

The girl just kept on sniffing the air as her mother glared at each and every one of us. "If you think that it is going to be so easy for you to take care of my daughter, then you have another thing coming. I don't know what has gotten into Edward, but he is obviously not thinking straight… he would never trust you, _Leah Clearwater, _to take care of my daughter."

"Bella, stop. _You're _not thinking straight. You and Edward are definitely in no position to care for the girl properly, and he is simply choosing people who would make good substitutes as her parents. You have to have an open mind under these circumstances, Bella, you have to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, understand? It is impossible to neglect people who _want _to and are _willing _to help you."

Everyone stared at Jasper as he wrapped up his little speech. Every part of it had been true, and he was simply pointing every truth out to Bella, who was stubborn enough to think that her husband was wrong and she was right. Bella was silent, staring at Jasper through an expressionless mask but the confusion and betrayal were evident in her eyes.

"You're right, Jazz," Alice agreed and she snuggled up to him on the love seat, and he immediately sagged against her. "Bella, you need to open up to other people that can help Reneesme in so many ways. You've let Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie help, so I can't see why you can't let Leah help too. She and Rosalie work great as a team… so I suggest you let her help her. Reneesme might stand a chance of living longer."

As soon as she said those words, Bella's back straightened and her eyes widened as her gaze fell onto Reneesme's bronze head of hair. Reneesme was playing with a strand of her hair and seemed oblivious to what was going on around her. The pus around her swollen eyes was forming again and when Rosalie realised what I was looking at, she scooped Reneesme up and took her upstairs to clean her eyes. Bella remained silent on the couch, looking at her fingernails. Jacob turned up the volume of the TV and he turned his attention back to it.

I didn't turn my gaze to the TV again. I was busy looking at Alice and Jasper, who seemed as though they were in a world of their own, all of a sudden. They were staring deeply into each others' eyes, not blinking, or moving. His hand was resting lightly on her hip and her chin was resting on his shoulder so that their faces were only a few inches apart. They were just looking at each other adoringly, nothing else… not kissing, not talking, nothing. Simply looking at the other. And I admired them for managing to have a bond so deep that it didn't need words.

I kept on looking at them, zoning out the sounds coming from the TV, or the whimpers coming from upstairs. Bella was sitting silently on the couch, watching Alice and Jasper, too. And this made me wonder where Edward had gone off to, and Emmett too.

"Where's Edward?" I asked, directing the question at her, and she acknowledged it by turning to face me with solemn eyes. _At least, she was looking at me. That's a step up from treating you like shit…_

"Edward and Emmett went hunting. He wants to make sure that he's well fed for the next couple of weeks, to make sure that he doesn't have to leave Reneesme's side when she's so…._vulnerable_." Her expressionless mask wavered and I could pinpoint a sense of sadness and pity, mixed with guilt. Bella was not going through the best time of her life. Then again, Bella's life was an almost complete fairy tale. She had the love of her life by her side for forever, a family that loved her, beauty, wealth, and now, she had been given a child that she could keep for a limited amount of time. At least, she got the child, for however brief a time. At least she got to experience her husband's child in her.

I would never get that. _Never._ I hated my body for that. I detested myself, the monster inside me. I shuddered slightly and Bella's eyebrow cocked up in question. I shrugged it off and swallowed hard.

"Bella, I want to set some things straight before you let me take care of your daughter… I don't want to seem like I'm trying to take your daughter away from you. Rosalie and I, we share the same problem, and we try to find any means through which we can be close to a baby, a child. But never, in my wildest dreams, would I want Reneesme to treat me as her mother. You are her mother, that is your job. I will simply treat her like a sister, love her as I should, protect her, and hope that what I do will only help her condition.

"Edward told me about her, in brief, and why he wanted me to help you. Bella, I know it is difficult to watch your daughter in this state, but if we work together and help Carlisle, he might be able to save her. And we'll be there, to watch her grow, and learn and walk and talk and see. Got it? I just need you to let me help her. To be with her, that is all I'm asking, without having you breathing down my throat and threatening to feed me to wolves. I don't think you need to be hit a second time for our warning to kick in, right?"

She smiled lightly. "Yeah…. Seth really shocked me that last time. I never expected him to punch me in the face, vampire or not," she said with a dark laugh. She ran a hand through her hair before she fell into the material of the lush sofa as the whimpers continued from upstairs. The pained look on Bella's face told me that Rosalie was probably cleaning up Reneesme's eyes, and she wasn't liking it too much.

"I just can't stand watching her like that… knowing that I did that to her, that it is all my fault," she sighed grimly. I didn't know what to tell her and I slipped one final glance at Alice and Jasper, who were still immersed in their own, personal world. I pretended that I was paying attention to the TV, but in truth, I was busy listening in on Rosalie upstairs. I couldn't believe I was actually agreeing to take care of a half-vampire, half-human child. Never, not even in my wildest dreams had I imagined I would be doing such a thing. But, I had grown used to having to do strange things, nowadays.

The house grew silent, and Rosalie silently descended the stairs, with a quiet Reneesme in her arms.

"Give her to Leah," Bella mumbled and she lifted her thumb to bite on it. Rosalie did as she told her to and lowered Reneesme onto my lap. The girl sniffed at me, then happily nestled her head on my shoulder and touched my neck to show me. She showed me the pain and discomfort she had felt when Rosalie was cleaning her eyes.

_It hurts, Aunt Leah, it really does. And I don't like it but Momma says I have to do it, because I can get better if I do. But it just hurts so much…_

"I know, Reneesme, I'm sorry," I said and she shrugged it off. Her thoughts faded into the bright colours that she usually thought about and she let me see them, too. So I watched the colours and designs and faces that filled her thoughts, and mine. Everyone was silent around us. Jacob was watching the TV but slipping occasional glances at us from his peripheral vision, Bella was looking out the window, Alice and Jasper were still in their own little bubble and Rosalie was looking at something on her laptop.

So it was basically just Reneesme and I in my mind. It was nice to step away from the real world, even if it was for a few minutes. The swirling designs and lines kept my mind occupied for a while, maybe a few hours, even.

Suddenly, as Reneesme and I were beginning to dose off on the couch, the front door burst open and Seth rushed in and grabbed Jacob's forearm. He yanked off of the couch and onto his feet.

"Sam has called a Council meeting and the Elders want us to attend… They need to discuss the treaty. _Now._" Seth's words were rushed and he was almost choking on them as his shoulders shook under the panic and stress.

"The treaty?" Bella whimpered in her bell-like voice, and she bit down harder on her thumbnail. "Jacob, the treaty is broken!" She cried out loud, letting out a heart-wrenching sob afterwards. "The treaty is broken…"

"Bella, calm down. We'll find something, anything, that can keep the treaty in tact, okay? Don't worry about anything."

Alarm and panic flooded Reneesme's thoughts and she pressed her hand against my neck fervently. _Aunt Leah, what's wrong? Why is Momma so worried?_

"Shh, Reneesme, not now. Later, I'll tell you." I silenced her questions and turned my attention back to the confusion going on in the living room. Jacob was rubbing his hands over his eyes ferociously, and Seth was looking at him, waiting for his decision. Well, there wasn't much of a decision to take. Since Sam had called a council meeting, we had to attend, because we were still a part of the pack, in a twisted way. The Elders wanted us to go too, so we had no option. We had to attend, whether we liked it or not.

"Okay… We're going. Seth, come on." And he moved towards the front door to leave. I stared after them, mouth open and jaw slack, not even believing that they would leave me alone in a house full of vampires to attend a council meeting that I had every right to attend.

"Oy, Mr. Alpha! Don't I get to come too?"

He stopped short in the hall and turned on his heel to look at me. His brows were furrowed and his head was cocked slightly to the side. "Don't you think you're a bit to weak to go all the way to La Push? I can't risk your safety for a council meeting, Lee, so you stay here."

"But I want to come, and I'm coming. No one's going to keep me from kicking Sam's ass at the meeting. And my leg is mostly healed, so I _can _come, physically." I pushed myself off of the couch and I could see the reluctance in Jacob's features as I walked over to them with my crutch and a slight limp. I wasn't feeling any amount of the unbearable pain I had been feeling before, but it was nowhere near bliss.

"Leah, please. You're in no state to go all the way to La Push-"

"Why? Are we walking?"

He stopped and smirked at me. "We _could _walk."

"Fine. You walk, I'll take one of the Cullens' cars. I'm sure they'll let me borrow one."

He groaned and his fist suddenly connected with the white wall. Flakes of plaster fell to the floor and he shuddered in frustration.

"God, you're stubborn!"

"Just let her come, Jacob. Even if she doesn't take the car, she'll walk over. You know how she gets…" Seth explained, rationally, for once, before he disappeared out of the door. Jacob stared after him, disbelieving, before he reluctantly nodded at me and turned to go out the door, too. As soon as he reached it, something flew by me and hit him straight in the head.

The keys fell to the floor with a tinkling sound and a growling Jacob snatched them up and headed for the garage instead. I followed, with a slower pace because of the cast. Man, that thing was heavy! But still, I couldn't find it in myself to remove it. Something about it, just made me want to keep it, attached to my body or not. I sighed because it seemed like it was taking me _forever_ to reach the garage, when it had only taken Jacob a few seconds.

An engine revved and I heard Jacob curse underneath his breath. The car whose headlights were turned on was a cherry red convertible, and I had to admit, Jake looked pretty ridiculous driving it.

"Blondie seriously hates me. This is going to ruin my reputation if anyone sees me driving it!" he said as he lightly punched the steering wheel. I chuckled and I slid onto the sleek, leather seat next to him.

"Aw, come on. Just drive the freaking thing. The faster you drive, the sooner we get there."

He snorted and mumbled something along the lines of "should've gone with Seth", but I pretended that I hadn't heard it and watched as the Forks scenery flew by as Jake pushed the car's max.

"Don't you think it's high time you removed that thing?" he asked, out of the blue and he motioned with his head towards my leg cast, happily stretched out on the clean foot carpet beneath me.

I shrugged. "Is it bothering you that much? I'd remove it, but now that you've pointed out that it's annoying you, I certainly won't be taking it off any time soon," I explained with a smirk, and gently ran my finger down the front of the cast.

He exhaled. "I'm not saying it's annoying me, but, man, your foot is really starting to stink, and I think it's because of the cast."

I blushed and laughed at the same time. "Wow, I never really thought of that… Now I _definitely _won't be taking it off, just to piss you off with my awesome foot stink."

He rolled his eyes and nailed his gaze to the road before us, shaking his head in a disbelieving manner. I guess, my logic doesn't work like that of most people, but, I've gotten used to people not understanding me. I rested my elbow on the arm rest and placed my chin on the heel of my palm, angling my body to look at the world outside.

The fact that Sam had called a council meeting meant that his pack was probably well trained and ready for a fight, or that he was convinced that he needed to get this over and done with immediately. Either way, innocent children would die because of his fucked up pride. How could he believe that he has a chance against a coven of strong, powerful vampires? Especially when most of his wolves were just kids…

"Come on, Lee. And please control your temper. I don't feel like beating up Sam today. Or Paul. Or Embry. Or Quil. Or one of the cubs. Got it?" he warned then turned to face the house as Seth emerged from the woods behind it. He loped over towards us and stopped only a few feet away.

"They're waiting for us," Seth whispered as quietly as he could and we walked over to Sam's house with a slower pace, because of my cast. They fell into step with me, but I knew it wasn't just because they didn't want to leave me alone. You could practically feel the anxiety budding off of their bodies and colliding with mine. I can't say I wasn't anxious, I truly was, because we had reason to be. We had to find a loop hole, something that would save the treaty…

_Whoa, Clearwater… where'd your inner wolf go?_ Me suddenly wanting to help the Cullens just didn't seem right, to me at least. I couldn't help myself, though. Badass Leah was giving up her internal conflict and she was taking a step back. With Jacob in the way, I couldn't risk fighting the Cullens, now especially because of the imprint. I didn't have it in me to do something that hurt Jacob, if not physically, then emotionally.

"Jacob, Seth, Leah!" Emily called from the front door, the largest smile ever plastered to her marred face. She beckoned us inside and I reluctantly followed the others. I would always detest this house. Always. Because it reminded me of the pain I was going through, the ugly truths I was tormented with, everything that was wrong in my life was here, at this house.

We were greeted with silent hellos from all the people waiting inside, and I was shocked at the number of new cubs present at the meeting. Two had replaced every person who had left Sam's pack, which meant that there were six new wolves in total. And they all looked so young and afraid as they eyed Jacob's massive form in front of Seth and I. personally, Jacob would've scared the shit out of me if I hadn't known him. He's one mean looking guy.

"Leah? What the hell happened to your leg?" Paul asked, eyes boring into my cast. Everyone turned to look at my leg, then, asking what had happened and when. I shrugged off their questions and Jacob pulled out a chair for Seth and I. I gratefully collapsed onto it, resting my leg and eyeing everyone around the table. Old Quil and Billy Black were eyeing me sceptically. Mom was looking at me with questions swimming in her eyes and Charlie was fanning himself from the intensity of the temperature in the cramped room. He attended our meetings frequently, now that Seth had told him our secret, but he still couldn't get used to our combined body temperatures. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead and he smiled tentatively at me when he caught me looking.

Charlie was actually a good guy, and even though he and my mom were trying to hide it, they definitely had a thing going on. At first, I couldn't believe my mom would date my dad's best friend, and so soon after his death, but once I got over that, my worried quickly shifted to the fact that Bella Cullen would end up being my stepsister, if things got any deeper between them. I was especially mad because of that. A werewolf, and her vampire step sister. Talk about your classic family reunion. But, my mom had assured me that she would never marry anyone else after my dad and Charlie was simply 'helping her accept the truth and embrace life without Harry'. Half of the time, they talked and talked, and the other half they spent it at the movies, or Port Angeles or wherever. I was happy that my mom was getting better after all the crap that had been thrown at her, but I was sad that even she would get her happy ending, after all.

Bella, Emily, Kim, Claire, Rachel, Mom… Everyone. They would all get their fairytale ending.

My thoughts had drifted off-track drastically and I felt Seth gently nudge my shoulder to wake me up from my silent reverie. He looked over at Old Quil who was waiting for everyone to settle down with their questions in order for him to start. But they didn't even give him a chance. When everyone quietened down, Seth opened his large mouth to speak.

"Leah was attacked by a vampire, people, just give it a rest," he announced loudly. But rather than giving it a rest, the whole room erupted with shouts, questions, curses and doubts.

"Vampire? Where? When?"

"Was it one of the Cullens? I swear I'll rip their heads off…"

"Why didn't you guys tell us? We could've helped!"

"Did you kill it? Burn it? Rip it?"

Someone slammed his hands onto the table. I saw Sam shake like a maniac as the anger rolled off of him and onto us. Paul shook. Embry shook. Quil shook. I could sense the tension building up in the air, and I saw the imprints move towards their imprinters and place a comforting hand on their shoulders to calm them down. Most of the shaking lessened substantially but the anger was clearly etched onto Sam's face.

"Sam, calm the heck down _now_!" Jacob yelled, from behind me. "Leah was attacked by a vampire, everyone knows that. The vampire's name is Irina. Any of you guys remember the reggae vamp we killed not long ago? The one that had almost attacked Bella? He was Irina's mate and she found out that wolves had killed him so she wanted to avenge his death. Leah was in recovery for the past week and Seth and I managed to kill the vampire not far out, past the cliffs. The Cullens know the coven Irina comes from and they're willing to reach a compromise to keep the Denalis from starting a war on us wolves."

"It doesn't make any sense, though, does it? The Cullens bit a human and vampires attacked one of our own… _We _have every right to start a war with _them_."

"The treaty only forbids the _Cullens_ from attacking one of our own. Any foreign vampires are not covered by the treaty. The matter at hand… was just mentioned by Sam, here, and we have to discuss it. Bella Swan was turned into a vampire by Edward Cullen, but Jacob is dismissing that she was bitten, saying that Edward injected the venom directly to her heart. Is it true, Jacob, was the venom injected?"

I wasn't looking at Jacob, but you didn't have to be a genius to assume that he nodded, to protect his precious Bella. "I was present. The venom was injected."

"And yet, Sam says that you didn't say that he didn't bite her. He said you hesitated when he asked you and didn't answer. So we ask you again," Old Quil leaned forward and folded his hands on his lap. "Did Edward Cullen bite Bella Swan, Jacob?"

I heard Jake swallow behind me, and I felt him shift his weight uncomfortably. Something inside me was shocked that Jacob wasn't negating Old Quil's question and instead, he was just standing there, letting his guard down. I had to step, like something was compelling me to take Jacob's place. I exhaled and prepared myself.

"Does the treaty still apply if the human was willing to be bitten?"

"Leah, are you implying that she was bitten?" My mom asked, her eyes wide as they fell on Jacob, Seth and I repeatedly.

"I'm not implying anything, Mom. I'm trying to clear something with all of you. Now, can someone please answer my question? Does it still apply?" I was getting impatient. I didn't want the others to get the idea that I was defending the leeches, when I was defending Jacob, but things needed to be determined immediately, for the meeting to move on.

"It is not mentioned in the treaty, but it still incorporates having to bite the human. So, I guess it does apply."

"Edward injected the main dose of venom to her heart. And, I will admit, that he did bite her, but before you reach a conclusion, the Cullens saved Bella's life. If she hadn't been turned, Bella would've died."

"Jacob has a point," I interjected, "I think the treaty forbids vampires to feed on the human, rather than turning it to save it's life-"

"An alliance." Jacob interrupted and he rested his weight against my chair. "I suggest an alliance. A peace treaty with the Cullens, which accepts Bella's turning and allows us wolves to cross the treaty line whenever we please. They'll help us protect our tribe, and we in turn, will keep the peace between us, provided that neither party will break the treaty again."

Everyone was silent as Jacob's words sunk in. It made sense, what he had suggested, and it meant I could trot about in the woods wherever I pleased without having to worry about Emmett kicking my ass all the way over to La Push, like he had done to Paul. I watched the emotions flit about on Sam's face as he processed Jake's proposal. Old Quil and Billy Black were discussing it silently with my Mom and Charlie, huddled up in a corner of the room. Jacob kneeled down next to me and rested his chin on the table and looked up at me with a grin on his face.

He had reason to be happy. He had managed to find a compromise between a coven of vampires and a pack of wolves, meaning that he would get to keep his precious Bella safe and close to him. Then it hit me. Jacob had suggested that we could cross over whenever we wished so that _he _could cross over whenever he wished (not that he didn't do it anyway, but now he had special permission) and see Bella _all _the time. This saddened me, and it felt as though my whole face fell now that that thought had sunk in.

"Peace with the Cullens… we are considering it because Carlisle helped Leah recover. Without him, she would be dead by now," Mom, Seth, Jacob and I winced at his words, but Old Quil kept taking anyway, "So, an alliance will be formed. We will meet with the Cullens tomorrow and confirm it with them. Settled, everyone?"

I caught Sam's eye and he was literally going to blow a gasket. "_No!_" he yelled and slammed his fists onto the table, splitting the wood. Emily's hands found their place on his shoulders and pushed him down, soothing him, in a way. I looked away from them and at Jacob, whose brows were forming a deep V between his eyes. I could catch the questions on his face. Why did Sam had to find a problem in _everything?_ And agreed with him, to a certain extent. Ever since Jacob, Seth and I had broken off from his pack, he'd become even more pessimistic than he had been before.

"We protect our people, that is what we are designed to do. We cannot reach a compromise! An alliance, whatever. We are wolves, we are created to kill vampires, I cannot see how we can live in peace with them-"

"Stop, Sam. Jacob is Alpha and he decides what is best for the tribe and the pack. If he believes that an alliance would strengthen our power, then so be it."

I didn't want to talk anymore. The fact that Jake had already considered the alliance thing and had twisted in a way to satisfy him sickened me. I trusted Jacob to make good decisions, I didn't expect him to make blind ones, were all he cared about was Bella, Bella, Bella. He had to make decisions at the pack's expense, at the expense of young kids, at the expense of our people, our families. I was suddenly regretting what I had done. Standing up for the Cullens didn't seem like such a good idea, but a rational part of me was growing stronger in my head.

Carlisle had saved me. Dying wouldn't have been that bad, but he had given me the chance to live again, maybe to arrange my mistakes and that shit, so I was eternally grateful to him. But I was not grateful to any of the other Cullens, maybe Rosalie, but none of the others. I hated their dead, mouldy guts. Rosalie, Carlisle and Reneesme were the only leeches I considered 'okay'. And 'okay' was definitely not that much of a compliment on my list.

I was feeling… strange. Sure I hated the Cullens daily, but maybe the fact that Jacob had taken such drastic measures to keep them safe was gnawing at my insides. This… _thing _was making me hate them even more, with a deeper passion now. I was breaking away from the rest of the pack in Sam and Emily's cramped living, and retreating into a bubble of my own hate. I wanted my music with me, to listen to it, and make the fears go away. But, I was stuck in this house, doomed to stare at hormonal, shape-shifting teenagers as they agreed on something one of them had suggested.

I could see that Jared, Quil and Paul were anxious to get back to their imprints, in the latter anxiety was etched deeply onto their faces. I was waiting for Paul to fly through the window and Quil to follow, but they did no such thing. They simply waited until Jacob dismissed them. Seth was talking to Embry about some ball game, because he had clearly lost all interest in Sam's little outburst as I had, but Jake was still looking intently at him, trying to decipher what his emotions and words could mean.

Old Quil, Billy, Mom and Charlie were sipping the coffee Emily had made them, as if nothing had happened earlier. Charlie wasn't at all disturbed by Sam's attitude and he had probably grown used to it… as he had grown used to everything, from Bella's isolation to our phasing. I guessed, as long as he had my mom for company, he was happy. And I didn't complain, so long as he got her off my case for everything I did.

Jacob pushed himself up and looked down at me. "Want me to take you home?"

"Depending on where 'home' is," I continued and turned around to face him. He smirked and took my good hand in his and pulled me up.

"You can choose yourself where home is, Lee. I can take you to your house, or I can take you to the Cullens' house and you can stay there so that Carlisle can take off your cast tomorrow. Is it okay for you?"

I shrugged and let him lead me out of Sam's house, with Seth on our tails. Probably, no one had even noticed that we had left the house, and when we where outside, Seth playfully slapped Jacob's back.

"Smart move, Mr. Alpha," he chuckled. "Congratulations, you got your wish. And now, I can cross the line without having to worry about getting into a fight with the others. Thanks man, you're the best."

Jacob rolled his eyes at me and mouthed 'he's such a kid' before he turned and flashed Seth one of his trademark, breathtaking smiles. "No biggie. You going home or are you coming with us to the Cullens' place?"

"Definitely coming with you. I want to defeat Emmett at Call of Duty today. He's always going on about how he is better than me- Whoa, who got the Merc convertible?" he said with a smile and turned around to face us, cocking his eyebrows. When his eyes landed on Jacob's blushing face and my snickering one, he burst out laughing and pointed at the convertible and at us over and over.

"You… him…driving…cherry red… Rosalie?" he was out of breath and clutching his sides. I nodded and walked over to the passenger door and slide onto the seat.

"Come on, Jacob! Come drive!" I tapped impatiently on the car door and beamed at Jacob who scowled at Seth and I as he walked over to the driver's side and got in. Seth was squashed in the tiny back seat and stuck his head between our seats and looked mockingly at Jacob. Jake quickly turned on the car and we sped away from Sam's house in a matter of seconds, obviously afraid that the others would pop out and catch him driving the convertible. That would lead to a life of misery and they would throw some serious shit at Jake.

Luckily, we made our way towards the Cullens' place without them catching us, and I had to admit, that Jake seemed visibly less anxious than he had been before. His body sagged against the seat and a smile was playing about his face. I enjoyed driving in the convertible because it meant allowing the breeze to whip my hair about, like it did when I was running, both in wolf form and human.

Something vibrated in Jake's pocket and he quickly pulled out his phone, a gift, courtesy of the Cullens, and flipped it open. His brows furrowed as he stared at the tiny screen and he ground his teeth together to prevent himself from phasing, I guessed. He tossed the phone onto my lap and I lifted it to my face to read.

There, written in mocking was a text from Paul.

_Nice ride, Jakey-Poo :P_


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay... so everyone probably hates me (Sorry!Sorry!Sorry!) I honestly got stuck in this chapter, and I wasn't really sure where I could go... i juggled with lots of POVs, too, and i finally settled for this one :) please don't be mad at me... the story doesn't have to suffer right? so i'm going to be selfish and ask you to review after reading it- negative feedback too please! so anyway...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters involved in this story... I own Marla, though. She's mine :D**

* * *

Chapter 12

Jacob Black

Everyone was acting weird. Period.

The situation had been so for the past week now, and it was gradually getting worse, even though the Cullens were trying to mask it with their shit-happy faces. Hell, I was sixteen years old, but I wasn't that _thick in the head. _The Cullens, each and every one of them apparently, thought that I was stupid enough to _not _notice the frustration they were trying to hide.

I have to admit, they were really good. But spending most of your days around them, for most of your days, of most of your weeks, made you, sort of, memorize and remember what they did, on again, off again. From one week to the next, I had realised that their facial expressions were significantly different. Exhibit A: Alice Cullen, on Saturday afternoon, was happily sorting through Reneesme's wardrobe, dividing all the items into sections and dancing around along with the music that was blurting from her iPod. Alice Cullen, on Sunday morning, was balled up on the couch, knees tucked up to her chin, and eyes glassy, staring into space.

Exhibit B: Esme Cullen, on Saturday evening, was cooking spaghetti Bolognese for Leah, Seth and I, and she was having small talk with Leah who, for a change, was going along with her. Seth was also with them, and Esme was in a fairly good mood. Esme Cullen on Sunday morning was sitting in a rocking chair in the living room, rocking back and forth, back and forth, also staring. Then, of course, Edward Cullen. Jesus Christ, he had to be the one too obvious to ignore. He wasn't staring like Esme or Alice, or indulging in video game marathons like Emmett. No, Edward Cullen was _pacing_.

Edward Cullen was pacing a hole in the floor. Literally.

When I had walked through the door on Sunday morning, Leah and Seth in tow, Edward had been walking the width of the hallway, twisting around on his heal and continuing with his pacing. He had been running shaky hands through his hair, gritting his teeth and shaking. Then, when he had seen us staring at him, he had _smiled._

_Fucking smiled at us._ Then, I was just convinced that something was up. Bella was nowhere to be seen, and Reneesme neither. Carlisle was locked up in his study, Jasper was sitting on the bottom step, Alice on the couch, Esme in the rocking chair, Emmett playing video games with Seth and Edward, obviously, pacing. Rosalie was the only one who seemed to be left aside. She wasn't freaking out in a quiet manner like the other vampires. Instead, she was talking to a mute Alice, telling her what she had seen in some catalogue and showing her things she had marked off in her shopping basket on . Leah was staring at her nails, and pushing her cuticles down and I was too confused to even _think_.

Something was obviously wrong in here, and although the Cullens were _trying _to hide it, they weren't doing much of a good job. Honestly, if you didn't want someone to realise that something was up, for God's sakes, you don't go pacing a hole in the fucking floor. But the Cullens were a unique family, with unique, twisted ways, and really, I would never understand them. I ran a hand over my eyes, and watched the black spots blot my vision as I refocused my eyes. Leah was looking at the game Seth and Emmett were playing, but from the look on her face, I could tell that she wasn't interested so much. I couldn't blame her. COD wasn't a girl's favourite game.

"What the hell! Emmett!" Seth yelled, hit the RT button repeatedly, desperately trying to find his hand grenades.

"Haha, sucker!" Emmett said, then the screen blew up. Seth leaned back in his seat and pouted like a little kid, whilst Leah laughed evilly, a light hand over her chest and her voice like tingling bells in the dead silence in the house. In seconds, Esme and Alice were staring at Leah, a silent emotion in their eyes, their pale faces, emotionless. Emmett was doing a little victory dance in front of the coffee table and Seth was trying to restrain himself from hitting him.

This little outburst, so spontaneous and random, was like a gust of breeze in the middle of a hurricane. Not much of an effect, really. When Emmett had sat his ass back down on the couch and had hit reload, and Seth had grabbed his controller yet again, the situation had returned back to the way it had been, and the dead silence took its toll on the room once again.

I seriously couldn't take this anymore. I was about to freak out when Carlisle came downstairs and saved everyone from an embarrassing show. His face was exactly like the Grim Reaper's, just supernaturally beautiful at the same time. His butterscotch eyes were drooped, like his lids were heavy; his stance was slouched, and he looked dead tired, too.

"Leah, would you like to come upstairs so that I could take off your cast?" he asked. I had to admit, his voice surely did not give off his condition: it was smooth, velvet and convincing, as usual. And, of course, Leah did not object and helped herself off of the couch, then limped towards him, and he helped her up the stairs. Leah hadn't complained about anything in a long time now, and she was probably learning to shut up more often, but somehow… well, I sort of missed her in-your-face attitude. I needed a bitch-slap every now and then, and she had always been the one to knock me out of my stupor.

I found myself going up the stairs soon after, too lost in thought to realise what I was actually doing. I kept asking myself the same question, because now that my brain had found a, sort of, 'loop-hole' in the Cullens' façade, was a ready to use Carlisle as their weak point? It seemed like cruel punishment to the poor guy, because I was literally going to wring the answers and explanations out of him if I needed to. I didn't know _why. _Honestly, I didn't know why he had to be the one to suffer, when he seemed so weak, but I had made up my mind, and I wasn't going to go back on my word so easily.

I had been standing in front of the door to Carlisle's study for a few minutes now, and I was breathing so hard through my mouth that I was sure that they knew I was standing outside.

"For God's sake, just come in Jacob," Leah said, her voice even, no hint of strain… nothing. At that, I curled my fingers around the knob and twisted it, and pushed. Carlisle's study was dimly lit, and the only light source was the reading lamp hanging over his desk. The curtains to the windows were slid slightly apart, letting some light filter in, dust motes floating around in the air.

Leah was propped up on the bed, her hands clutching the sheets she was sitting on as Carlisle held onto her leg, cradling it like he cradled Reneesme, and he began to remove the cast. Leah watched him, with eyes wide and interested as he slid it off of her body and held it in his hands. Leah had liked my little gift from the start, and I was pretty happy about that… that she actually liked something of mine. Carlisle set the cast down on the bed beside Leah, then he lifted her slender calf up to the light, and prodded the muscles, watching Leah's reaction.

"I'm happy to say that your leg healed perfectly, Leah. You should be able to move around without the cast, with no problems whatsoever," and to my surprise, Carlisle Cullen managed a credible smile towards Leah. She smiled back, then landed on her toes, feeling naïve on her feet. She caught me staring, and stuck her tongue out at me, smiling all the same. This new Leah was… weird. Carlisle walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair, knotting his fists in front of his face and resting his forehead against the man. From this point of view, he looked like a severely broken man, but I knew Carlisle was hiding much more than he was giving off. He was strong in the sense.

Leah was standing next to me, in front of his desk, arms crossed across her chest, a defiant look on her face and fire burning in her eyes. Before I could get a chance to speak up, and ask questions myself, Leah took the situation in her own hands.

"Okay, Carlisle, what the hell is up?" she asked, and Carlisle flinched at her hard tone. Her voice was rough and gravely, and I could identify the confusion and frustration evident in his thoughts… the same confusion and frustration that I had heard when Leah had first turned into a wolf and had no idea what the hell was going on.

Carlisle looked at the both of us like we had just ripped our heads off and put them back on. He stared at us, as if there was some wall between us, keeping _us _away from _him_. I didn't have time to waste. After all, if the safety of La Push and the pack were at stake, I had every damn right to know what was going on.

"What do you mean, Leah?"

"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up around her head. "You make it too obvious! Alice and Esme are going to stare themselves into oblivion, Emmett is gonna beat every stinking record that exists and Edward is going to pace his way to the centre of the Earth! Do you honestly expect us to believe that everything is okay?"

I stared at Carlisle, watching the remorse and the guilt flick over his features quickly. Then, when he looked up at us, it looked as if Carlisle had gave away to his emotions. His eyes were deeply lined with what looked like lines of sadness and anger; his pallid cheeks were drawn, his blonde hair was dishevelled, his clothes untidy… I had never seen any one of the Cullens in such a state, let alone Dr. Carlisle. I pitied him, in that single moment in time, for I suddenly realised that he was burdening all the responsibilities that his children had lugged onto his shoulders subconsciously. Carlisle was responsible for Reneesme's wellbeing, and apparently, that wasn't going so well, he was responsible for the Cullens' relationship with the Denalis (a relationship, that in my opinion, was beyond repair)…

There was only so much a man could take, even a vampire had his breaking point, and I feared, Carlisle's was nearing soon. I imagined Carlisle snapping into two, under the stress, and feeling for having known about it and not helped him.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't see Leah yank at a loose paper and a pencil on the desk, scrawl a message lightly across the page and throw it in the bin, looking at Carlisle and passing on a silent message. I was beyond confused at that point, but I followed Leah out of the office and closed the door behind me. She led me out of the house, keeping up a brisk pace, and I realised that Leah was feeling the fresh soil beneath her bare feet, once again. I smiled at that.

"Want to go for a run?" I suggested and she looked up at me brightly, eyes beaming. I didn't need an answer to know that she agreed. Before I went off to phase behind a tree, I caught Leah stretching up, hands above her head, and her shirt went up, revealing her flat, toned stomach. I couldn't help but stare, really, but I managed to look away just in time. As I stripped off my clothes, I had no idea what my feelings were, but I only knew that they were so confused, and jumbled up, that they were barely coherent.

I ran off, feeling the usual, warm spot in the middle of my back expand until it reached my fingertips, and then, I was on all fours, pounding on the forest floor, and hearing each reverberate thud of my paws. Leah was there, too, and I could tell from her thoughts that she was having the time of her life, feeling the wind through her fur, the hackles on her back rise, the strange, and beautiful sensations that came with being a wolf… I watched the forest through her eyes for a few seconds, then I went back to business.

_What did you write on that paper in Carlisle's office?_ I asked, and her thoughts paused for a few seconds, and I tried to keep myself out.

_I… I figured with a house full of vampires it would be useless for him to explain what was going on when they obviously didn't want us to know. I told him to meet us over at the border at 9, so we can talk there. Is… is it a problem for you? _I heard the hesitation in her voice, but I had to admit, it was a good plan.

But then it hit me. _Did you consider the fact that Edward probably heard everything in your thoughts?_

Leah mentally laughed (I had no idea how she did that) and began to explain. _You see, I think these things through. I, being the only woman in a pack of wolves that spends most of its time in a vampires' house, have managed to master the art of blocking the mind reader out of my head whenever I want to. Its simple really: I just fill my head up with random shit and think of more than one thing at a time. I'm not entirely focused on every single thing I'm thinking about, but it works._

_Really? What did you think about whilst you wrote the message?_

_Uh… I sang our national anthem, said the alphabet and I recited quotes from Dracula… ironic, isn't it?_

_Very… so, tonight, at 9?_

_Yup, _she said, mentally popping the 'p'.

We kept on running, and I felt what she felt, and she felt what I felt. And for a few fleeting seconds in my brain, it actually felt… good, to have her with me.

* * *

I rapped my knuckled against Leah's front door, and I was greeted by Sue's small, round face, graced with a smile.

"Hey, Jake… coming to steal my daughter?" she said with a snicker.

"Just some pack business… she should be home soon, I won't keep her long Mrs. Clearwater," I explained, and flashed her my most charming smile. Leah was coming down the stairs as I was smiling at her mother, and when we were walking towards the back of her house together, she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You're such a flirt, Black," she said, punching my shoulder lightly.

"Says who?"

"I caught you flirting with my mom!"

"That's not 'flirting'… that's _flattering_," I said and she punched me harder this time. We were already in the woods behind Leah's house now, and I recognised the points that marked our parameter. We would be getting to the border soon. I didn't know if we would stay at the border, talking there, or if we would take our conversation elsewhere.

Then, I realised that since the alliance had been made, there should have _been _no border anymore. I was still getting used to the alliance myself, and I wasn't about to complain, now that I was so close to finding out the truth about what was going on. I'd have to knock some sense into Leah's head _after_ Carlisle's explanation. I stared at the muddy ground and my muddy sneakers as I embedded my footprints in the forest floor. Leah was walking barefoot, something she had always loved doing… she had said something about the soil being her connection to the earth, or something or other. I saw how she dug her toes deep into the soil with each step, how every stride was unique, in some way or other.

Soon enough, I glimpsed Carlisle, standing between two large oaks before us, a mist surrounding his lower body and making him look eerie and mysterious. A brief stream of light caught in his hair, and it shone, bright and blonde in the gloomy forest.

"Thanks for coming, Carlisle. I'm sure trying to get rid of your family was a little hard…" Leah trailed off, suggestively, but Carlisle shook his head adamantly.

"Ever since… well, Reneesme, no one pays much notice to what the others are doing. I can go days on end in my study, and no one will ask about me, or come to talk to me. So, no, it wasn't that hard, but thanks for your concern," he said, smiling and digging his hands into his pockets.

"Tell us what's wrong, Carlisle," I said, cutting to the chase immediately.

He looked at me, eyes filled with sadness. "I thought I would be able to help Reneesme, to save her. I thought I had the right information in my hands to go through with any process, but I was wrong. Reneesme's condition has gotten worse considerably over the past few days: I had never imagined she'd get so sick. The fact that she's not eating is bad enough: if she doesn't ingest anything soon, she'll starve. Her eyes… well, she has conjunctivitis… the strongest form of the disease I've ever seen, and I can't seem to find a cure. I even contacted Zafrina from the Amazon coven to ask if she knew about some herbs for the eyes…. There's nothing I can do if Reneesme won't stomach anything."

"So… she's going to die?" Leah asked, her voice just a whisper. Her question wrapped around us like a cloak, because not one of us wanted the girl to die. Leah, although she detested Bella and was annoyed by most of the Cullens, had thrust away her dislike to keep Reneesme company. I respected Reneesme, of course, because her mother was my best friend, but even if she wasn't, there was still that strange feeling in my stomach that was only present when I was around Reneesme and Leah together. I still wasn't sure about that.

"I don't know that one hundred per cent, Leah, I'm not sure and I don't want you to think that we've hit a dead end. It could be that there's something I'm not seeing… something missing in my puzzle… I don't know."

We paused for a few seconds, and I listened to the birds chirping in the trees, looked for the sunlight that was barely there. I heard Leah suck in a breath, a shaky one, before her voice filled the silence, yet again. It seemed like she was the only one who had found her voice from the three of us.

"What if… hypothetically speaking of course… what if we could find something Quileute. Our tribe had a spell for almost every disease they had come across… what if they could help too?"

Carlisle thought it over, but I knew it was no use. Logically speaking, the whole solution was _illogical_. He was a man of reason… but then again, he had asked Zafrina for herbs… had he gotten so desperate?

"I would use anything you'd give me, really… just please, don't hesitate if you find something. I am ready to use anything." At that, something in my heart snapped. The steady façade that Carlisle was breaking up, and it was revealing his true, guilty self, lines etched into his marble skin.

"Of course, Carlisle," I reassured him, too overcome with pity to deny him anything that could help him. Leah nodded, and Carlisle moved away, running back into the forest, and leaving us alone.

Leah tilted her face up to look at me, brown eyes wide with curiosity and ideas. "I… Quileute healing incantations? Ever heard of them?"

I shrugged, "To tell you the truth, I'd never even considered there being any healing herbs from our tribe. But now that I'm thinking about it… well, why _shouldn't _there be any healing herbs? It won't do any harm to ask Billy or Old Quil about them… maybe they could help us."

She smiled, and ran a hand through her hair. "Well, then, shouldn't we get going?"

* * *

"Dad?" I called, stepping into our hallway and wiping my muddy soles over the carpet and walking inside, searching for my dad.

"Hey, Jake, I'm in the kitchen," he said and Leah followed me inside, ducking beneath the low doorframe that led into the tiny dining room. He swirled around in his wheelchair to face us and his smile grew wider when he saw us standing there.

"Hi, Billy," Leah said, and she leaned down and hugged him tightly. "We have something to ask you… a piece of information."

He shrugged. "Sure," he said and motioned for us to take a seat. I swung two chairs away from the table and handed one to Leah, which she straddled and rested her chin on her hand.

"Reneesme is sick, and Carlisle says that she is dying. I know it's a long shot, but I suggested… maybe, Quileute healing herbs? I'm not sure if they actually exist… so we came to ask you."

Billy looked at us, in shock and frustration, gaze darting from Leah, to me, and back. "Healing herbs?" he asked, cocking up his eyebrow with a smirk on his face. "Well, uh… the last healer we had was Marla… but I haven't seen her in ages now. I'm not sure if she's still alive really…."

"Where does she live?"

He didn't answer immediately, but he was apparently thinking thoroughly about Marla's whereabouts. I had never heard of anyone called Marla, and that was saying something, since I knew La Push like the back of my hand. "Last time I checked, she was living somewhere between La Push and the Makah reservation… I don't know if she's still there, though."

"Okay, then," I said, getting off the chair and pulling it back to the table, "thanks, dad."

As we walked back to the front door, my dad called after us in a clear voice, "Be careful with her, Jake, she's very… passionate." And I heard the laugh that ensued that statement.

* * *

Leah slammed her palm onto the dashboard of my Rabbit, causing it to jolt. Quite frankly, I was afraid for my car at that moment: Leah was not really gentle with any kind of machinery, much less my Rabbit, that was as much as a piece of dung to her.

"Leah, be gentle," I tried to coax, but she glared at me and forced me into silence yet again.

"No, I will _not_ be fucking gentle! We've been driving around La Push in circles for an hour, Jacob, trying to find a house that's somewhere between La Push and the Makah… we _obviously_ have to widen our circle if we're going to find this place."

"Fine, fine… but the Rabbit hasn't done anything to hurt you, so don't you hurt it." I said sternly, then I pressed my foot down on the peddle and we started moving again, towards the edge of La Push. The scenery around us grew greener, more trees, older and larger, shrubberies, logs… Leah's head was tilted to the other side, looking out the window and searching for an unexpected little house, tucked away into the trees.

I looked out my window, also searching for a little Hansel-and-Gretel house, and I grew so lost in my search, and so lost in thought, scenery and all the stuff outside my window, that I barely heard Leah screech out loud.

"Jake!" Leah said, hands spread out before her, eyes wide in panic. Automatically, I stepped on the brake, and the Rabbit screeched to halt, making the asphalt scream. I looked at Leah, too stricken to realize what was going on.

"What?"

But she didn't answer me. "Oh, for the love of God!" she said, and stepped out of the car, running to the pavement, where a huddled figure was kneeling on the pavement. I got out of the car, too, running over to where Leah was.

She was kneeling down beside the figure, arm slung over it's shoulder. The figure, a woman I realised, was rocking back and forth, whilst glaring at me from beneath her lashes. She was wearing a black hoodie, tugged over her eyes, and a flowing Bohemian-like skirt, reaching to her ankles. She straightened herself up, reaching Leah mid-chest, looking up at us through sceptic eyes.

The woman was definitely Quileute: she had our trademark bronze skin, high cheekbones and dark hair, but what struck me as strange were her eyes- so blue that they were almost white, melting into the whites of her eyes, really, and they shone like electricity against her skin. She was staring at us through them now, beady and steely, and uncertainty written all over her wrinkled features. Her mouth was pressed into a firm line, and I truly took notice of the wrinkles on her face. The area around her eyes was decorated with wrinkles through and through, her cheeks were droopy, as if the wrinkles dragged her skin down…

The woman cut off my thoughts with a snap, before she turned to look at Leah.

"We're so sorry," Leah explained, but the woman waved off her apologies, bending down to lift her bags off of the pavement. She lung a camel canvas bag over her shoulder before she looked at me again, with a scowl over all her wrinkles.

"I don't need your apologies," she spat, "much less from a pair of werewolves."


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters mentioned here (except for Marla) and, of course, i don't own Twilight, either :/**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 13

Edward Cullen

My fingertips stroked Reneesme's smooth cheek, feeling her soft skin, now devoid of the flush colour that usually graced her cheeks. She had been growing weaker, but lately, she had been showing even more how much she was actually deteriorating.

She was actually growing smaller, as if that were possible: she was thinner, her arms spindly like small branches on a tree, and each vein was protruding through her translucent skin. Her pearl-like face was sallow, and her doe eyes were far too large for her face…

"Oh, Edward," Bella sighed beside me, and her hand covered mine. I missed the warmth that used to be present between our hands, but nevertheless, I gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. "My baby's going to die," she said, and she curled into my chest, burying her head at the crook of my neck and letting the powerful sobs wrack through her body fiercely.

I rubbed circles into her solid back, trying to ease away the pain and frustration that had worked their way into my wife's heart. "Bella, honey, don't be like that. You don't know if she's going to die or not. Nessie's a strong girl… she'll pull through, I'm sure."

Bella pulled back, and narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't say things that aren't true, Edward. Even Carlisle has lost hope!"

"Lost hope in what?" a tingling voice interrupted suddenly. Bella turned around on her heel, and I lifted my gaze towards the door, where Rosalie was leaning against the doorway with a confused look on her face. Her brows were furrowed and Bella stuttered as she strived to find a reasonable explanation.

Bella and I had decided _not _to tell Rosalie how bad Reneesme's condition was. If she were to take care of her, she couldn't be burdened with the fact that Reneesme was going to die, sooner of later. Rosalie, Leah, Jacob and Seth were the only ones in the dark, and they would only find out when Nessie's condition was even more critical than it was now. It seemed unfair to make them suffer, especially when they had their own problems.

Bella was pulling Rosalie away from the room, mumbling something about clothes which immediately caught Rosalie's interest and she went on with her. I remained with Reneesme and settled down on an armchair to watch her sleeping. It was the only real time her eyes were meant to be closed during the day, so it was some kind of solace to see her eyes closed when they should be. Reneesme breathed in, and I watched the rise and fall of her chest for a few seconds, before I shifted my mind to my family's thoughts.

Bella was keeping Rosalie quiet by letting her choose clothes for her, but Rosalie's thoughts had an undercurrent of curiosity to them, as she wasn't buying Bella's sudden change of heart entirely. Bella, of course, was not entirely indulged in the clothes Rosalie was choosing for her, and she was staring a lot. Esme was sifting through a recipe book whilst she was talking to Seth, who was keeping her company and wondering where Leah and Jacob were. Alice was busy looking into the future, trying to catch useful glimpses that could help Carlisle-

Where _was_ Carlisle, exactly?

He'd spent most of the day in his room, but now that I was thinking about him, his thoughts were nowhere in my hearing range. I contemplated leaving Reneesme for a few minutes to look for him, and I finally found myself walking out of Reneesme's room, down the main staircase and out the back door, without breathing a word to anybody. As I walked outside, the fresh night air assaulted me, entering my nostrils, and I sieved the scents for the one I was looking: Carlisle's. Soon enough, I caught it, and followed it into the woods behind our home, past our cottage, over the stream and past the trees. Carlisle's scent was wrapped around various trees and bushes, as if he had taken the liberty of prancing around every single thing in the woods to confuse us. Nevertheless, his scent always came back to the main trail, every time.

I followed it, deeper and deeper, until I realised that I was nearing the border that separated our land from La Push. Leah, Jacob and Seth's scents were also interlaced into the back drop, but they were fainter than Carlisle's, obviously because Carlisle's scent was fresher.

I caught a blur from the corner of my eye, running quickly in the opposite direction I was running in, so I looped around my own path. Carlisle was running back home, but I caught up with him easily, not far from the border.

"Carlisle!" I called, and he turned around just in time to see me wave at him. Conveniently so, he stopped running and waited until I reached him. I was already sifting through his thoughts, trying to see where he'd been, but he had predicted what I was going to do, and had cleverly masked his thoughts with some random facts from his medical journals.

"Hi, Edward… I didn't see you there. What… are you doing out here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," I said with a smirk, and a gentle breeze wafted around us, bringing with it various scents that spiked my interest. The smells that budded off of Carlisle's persona where a mixed variety: his own, Esme's and… Leah's and Jacob's? The latter two were fresh, and they gave me the inkling that Carlisle had been with Leah and Jacob just before I had caught him running back.

"Why were you with Jacob and Leah just now?" Carlisle's thoughts went blank, and I could pick up nothing from them. My eyes widened as I thought of what he could be telling them. "Carlisle! Did you just tell them about Reneesme's condition?"

But he didn't have time to answer me. A rustling of leaves behind us forced me to snap my head around, just in time to see a large, chocolate wolf make it's way from between the trees, teeth bared, towards us.

* * *

Leah Clearwater

Okay, so things officially can't get much weirder.

The fact that I was volunteering to look for healing herbs for Reneesme was creeping me out alone. But now, as Jacob and I stared at the woman we had almost run over, things were getting even creepier. This woman had just called us werewolves, and I swear to God, I had never seen her anywhere before: meaning, she had never attended any meetings, or any family reunions that us wolves had organised over the past year. And the Council had never mentioned that anyone from the outside world knew about us, much less someone who lived in the outskirts of La Push…

Maybe they had conveniently left that part out? I mean, they would've made us even more self-conscious about ourselves, had they informed us that there was someone lurking around who knew about us. But… they would have saved us the shock, should we ever meet this person… which was exactly what was happening now. Jacob was shell shocked, mouth slightly agape, eyes blank, but it wasn't his fault entirely. This woman had simply thrown that information at us nonchalantly, and quite frankly, I was still trying to process her words.

"Yes, yes I know about your existence and I shouldn't know about it, yada, yada, yada…" she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, moving to walk the path up to her front door. We followed her, too curious to let her go now, totally forgetting about that Marla chick we had been initially searching for.

She opened the door and stepped inside, and Jacob gave me a warning look before we stepped in. He knew what potential dangers this woman could hold against us. The information she knew was enough to break us, because she could easily choose to give away our secret to the whole res. I pushed those thoughts aside, clearing my head as we stepped into her home. The main hallway was paneled entirely with ancient black-and-white photographs and pictures along the walls, and an old Afghan over the floor boards, stitched with intricate designs. Not an inch was _not _covered with pictures in frames, and they followed some sort of sequence: the ones closer to the door were ink prints not photographs, depicting some kind of ancient Quileute ritual which involved drums and a fire. I was about to start looking at the next picture, when the woman dropped her bags onto the floor and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Whoever invited you inside?" she asked in a booming voice, and it seemed as powerful as Jake's Alpha command, which obviously made me feel inferior to this five foot three woman.

I scuffed my toe like a child and lowered my gaze onto the Afghan beneath my feet. "We, uh… we assumed you'd want to talk to us…?" Honestly, I'd never thought I'd end up afraid of a miniature woman, but with me being a wolf, I was supposed to be accustomed to these weird things.

She threw her hands about her hand, rolling her eyes. "Well, of course! I knew I'd spike your curiosity if I did that!" she said, smiling now. "I never thought you'd react so dramatically, though," she explained, with a shake of her head. She lifted her hands to her head, and peeled back her black hood, tugging at away from her head and unravelling her waist-length, wispy black hair. As she turned and walked into the living room, I saw flowers intricately braided into her hair, along with colourful beads and feathers which shook with each movement of her body. Her hair truly was beautiful, and I had never seen hair so long before.

We followed her into the living room, where Jacob had to stand with his head bowed in order to fit properly. This room was also filled with photographs, but the most striking- and beautiful- thing in the room was the huge fireplace, smack bang in the middle. It was ornately decorated with flowers, and the sides were two carved trees, with miniature, marble people around their trunks. It was huge, to say the least. Two couches, mis-matched, were in the middle, taking up the majority of the space in the room. Smaller, less detailed Afghans were draped over the back of each couch, serving as throws.

"Please, sit. We have much to talk about…" she said, perching on one of the couches as Jacob and I sat on the one opposite.

Well, we couldn't spend _too_ much time talking to this woman if we were going to try to look for Marla… of course, time wasted from our part, was time deducted from Reneesme's life span.

"Um… we'd love to spend time here, but we were actually looking for Marla," I said, cutting to the chase immediately.

As soon as I said that, she laughed, placing her hands over her chest and shaking with laughter. She gazed up at the ceiling, shaking her head. I was confused, to say the least, and I looked at Jacob, trying to see if he could fathom what was going on, but he simply shrugged it of when I was about to ask. He knew as much as I did about what was so funny.

"Oh, my!" she said, "_I'm _Marla … and to tell you the truth, I was kind of excited that two werewolves were coming to visit me today!"

My brows furrowed as I let her words sink in. "You… knew we were coming? But, how could you? We just decided to come looking for you right now!" I half-screeched, my voice rising with each word, panic laced into each consonant and vowel.

"Okay, okay… calm down-"

"No, we _won't _calm down," Jacob's Alpha voice boomed suddenly. Those were the first words Jacob had spoken since we had entered Marla's house, and they had an instant effect on Marla as she sat back on the couch and pressed her lips tightly together, silencing herself. "Why _should_ we calm down, Marla?" Jacob asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He was looking at her with his don't-mess-with-me-cause-I'm-Alpha-and-I-can-kick-your-ass look. I was sure of that because of the way she was shaking slightly in her seat. "Can you please tell us how you know that we are werewolves?"

She blinked thoroughly, twice, before she swiftly tucked her legs beneath her and curled up into a ball in a corner of the couch. "I know about you because I was the last healer."

"Yes, my father told me that you were the last healer of our tribe, but why-"

"Will you let me finish?" she snapped suddenly, and this time, Jacob sat back. It was as if there were two powerful forces counteracting each other in the room, fighting a fierce battle of power between Marla and Jacob. "Do you think I'm stupid? Don't you think a healer would know the symptoms shown by the last wolf pack? Their bodies? Their isolation?

"I could sense you from miles away because I've grown used to your scent! I know every wolf that existed in our tribe, by smell, by colour, by size, by family… everything. It's my job as a healer to know these things. But the _Council_," she spat, balling her fists up in front of her face and staring at the ashes in the hearth, "They kicked me out of the pack and blocked me out of the affairs when you started phasing… I honestly don't know why…"

She kept staring at the ashes, in silence now, and I thought over what she had just said. She said she knew of every Quileute wolf that existed, of every trait they had ever had… could it be that she knew if… there had been any other female wolves in existence? Could she tell me whether or not I could have children and put an end to all my fears?

She looked up at us suddenly, eyes wide and smiling. "Well, that's how I know about you… now, care to tell me why you were looking for me in the first place?"

I looked over at Jacob, and he nodded at me, giving me the leeway. I swallowed, "We were looking for you because Jacob's father sent us here. See, we know of a child who's dying from conjunctivitis and her doctor can't find any medication for her. So, we decided to see if we could use any herbs or methods used by our ancestors."

She stroked her chin, thinking, and her gaze flowed back to the hearth, brows furrowing slightly. As she thought, I found myself looking up, at the ceiling, which was also, surprisingly, covered with an ornately decorated print, that showed a group of people around a fire, sitting on logs, watching a man in the midst of all of them, wearing a fur-skinned hat, and talking about something. Above them, were two trees, with the faces of a man and woman on them, looking over the group, and holding hands over them.

"I guess… well, us Quileutes, we didn't have any incantations or specific methods of our own… we simply followed the rituals the original Native Americans followed. But, they haven't been in use for a long, long time. Actually, I was a healer for no purpose, really. The wolves' healing had developed so much that they rarely needed my help, except when they needed to research our history or something. I was simply a decoration. But.." she said, getting off of the couch and walking around the living room, towards a closed, wooden cupboard tucked away in a corner, "I can give you some things that we used to use on little kids and on the women."

She opened the cupboard, and we saw that it was filled to the brim with little jars, closed off and sealed, each one labelled. She ran a finger over the labels, reading them carefully. She finally found what she needed and she pulled three out and came to join us again on the couch. She placed the jars on the small coffee table before us and unlatched the seal on them, and the scent of sage, cedar and something else filling the room and air around us.

She pointed to the first jar, "These are sage leaves," and she pulled out a fine green leaf and handed it to me, and I sniffed it (a scent of calm mint) before she started explaining. "Sage has antiseptic properties and it can be used to heal external wounds. Usually, a sage stick is used, and burned, but leaves are used, too, and they can also be used as a fan. Now, the sage leaf is used to cleanse, so it is best if you burn the leaves, and fan the smoke produced towards the sick person: say you're treating the child: place her in a heat-proof bowl and burn the leaves in it; it would be much easier. Now that's to clean…"

She then opened the jar next to it. "Now this little cream is Calendula cream: its an anti-inflammatory, obviously to reduce inflammations. I've heard that kids suffering from conjunctivitis have inflamed eyes so I guessed this could work, too. This is simply cream which you rub onto the person's eyes to reduce the inflammation. And this," she said, opening the third jar, "this is Cedar Lotion. It's used for facial and skin care, considering that the sick person has a face infection. Well, that's about as much as I can give you."

She closed off each jar, screwing the seal tightly and handing them to me in a small canvas pouch, which I held tightly in my arms. "So do you really know about all the wolves that existed on the res?"

She nodded. "Its part of my job. The former healer passes on the books that contain the histories to the following healer, and so on and so forth. It has been a tradition for centuries now," she explained with a smile.

I wanted to ask this woman so much, but I wasn't sure if I should ask her in front of Jacob. Of course, I could visit her alone, but my curiosities needed to be sated soon, and it seemed as if I couldn't wait any longer, now that I knew that my answers were here, in this very house. Jacob was unusually quiet today, arms crossed in front of his chest and staring at a random point in front of him.

I was about to start asking her questions, when a loud, clear howl cut me off. In a flash, Jacob was standing up, and he miscalculated the height of the room, and his forehead smacked against the low beams. He stepped back, rubbing his head, "Son of a bitch!" he grumbled, before he stormed out of the house quickly. I got off the couch, thanked Marla for her help with a wave, and flew out the door after Jacob.

"Phase _now_," Jacob ordered, and he ran into the woods, stripping at the same time. I slung the canvas bag around my neck and removed my clothes, feeling the warmth spread from the middle of my back, all the way to my fingertips, and then, I was running on all fours, sprinting through the forest towards the direction the howl had come from. It hadn't been just a normal howl: the seriousness, anxiety and tension had been evident in the wolf who had announced the danger, and Jacob and I were like two parallel bullets moving between the trees.

_What could be wrong?_ I asked in panic.

_I don't know, Lee, but we're gonna find out-_ His thoughts paused as he caught wind of a scent that was not what he was not used to smelling, now that we were nearing the border close to Bella's cottage. He quickly separated each individual scent, and I realised whom they belonged to: Sam's pack. Sam, Paul, Brady, Collin, Jared, Embry and all the new wolves. Their scents were everywhere, and they were all going in the same direction: towards the main house, where Reneesme lived most of the time.

_I _knew _Sam wouldn't abide by the alliance! His reaction was enough proof! _I said, anger bubbling inside me.

_We don't know what he's planning, Leah. I'm sure the Cullens will be able to hold up a strong defence against a group of ill-prepared, immature wolves._

The canvas bag swung to and fro in my mouth with each movement I made, and I was afraid that its contents would fall all over the forest floor, but I didn't have time to worry about such things now. The creams wouldn't matter if there was no one to use them, right?

As we reached Bella's house, I contemplated leaving the bag there, and Jake approved of my suggestion, thinking way too much ahead to worry about these things. He was trying to pinpoint the outcome of what could have happened through the various scents that were everywhere. Rosalie, Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme and Sam's entire pack… the only scents that were missing were Seth's, Bella's and Reneesme's. Their's were faint, compared to the others', but as we reached the river, we didn't have to imagine what could've happened.

The whole thing was still going on.

_What the hell is going on here?_

_Where's Seth? _I asked frantically, when I couldn't see him fighting. It truly was something bloody to watch. You could tell that the Cullens were trying _not _to hurt the wolves, but they weren't giving them much choice. I easily pinpointed Sam's midnight form, digging his teeth into Emmett's arm and trying to tug it off. They were lethal and they yearned blood, but Jacob told me that we couldn't let them, before we set off, joining the fight.

I immediately went to help Rosalie and Edward whilst Jacob went over to Emmett, and dragged Sam's unsuspecting body into a tree. Embry was attacking Edward, who was skilfully dodging his every move, but Rosalie was going down. Collin and Brady were both on her, and whilst Collin was testing her defences, Brady was waiting patiently for one of her weak spots so that he could intervene.

I rammed into Brady, sinking my teeth into his neck and pinning him to the ground. He whimpered, since he obviously hadn't expected me to attack him, and he looked at me with wide eyes, shaking and my teeth pressed deeper and closer to his muscles. He tried to push me off, lifting his knees to his stomach and pushing them up against mine, but I held him down. As he backed down, I took my teeth away from his neck and twisted his head away from my body, crushing it to the ground. He whimpered, but I just pressed down harder.

"Leah!" Rosalie's voice screeched, but I didn't have time to react. Something hit my body with such force that I flew off of Brady and landed with a crippling thud onto the ground, easily thirty feet away. I rolled over, standing up again, and collapsing on my right side. My right arm and leg were numb, but nevertheless, I got up, and watched as the wolf who had, presumably, sent me flying made his way towards me, running. I braced myself and side-stepped him when he reached me, brushing past him and turning around quickly, closing my teeth around his hind leg, and tugging at it, immobilising him. He screeched and fell with a thud onto the ground as I twisted his leg in a way it was not supposed to turn and leaving him with a broken leg on the ground.

I knew I wasn't of much use know that I couldn't move on four legs, but I still moved between the fighting, towards Jacob and Sam, whose fight was the most lethal. Rosalie was busy twisting Collin's arms and Edward had Embry pinned to the ground. Alice kicked one of the younger cubs, then bashed another one's head into a tree… and all the other Cullens, were more or less fighting a wolf, and winning.

Jacob was the only wolf who's thoughts I could hear, since Seth and Bella weren't present, and they were a complete haze of tactics, and possible situations he could use against Sam. I watched what he was going to do for a while, and saw his plan fail miserably as Sam took a step away from him, and Jacob ran too far. This gave Sam some leeway. But instead of turning on Jacob and attacking him like I had expected, Sam turned around to face me, and before I knew it, he was lunging towards me, teeth bared, the kill in his eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

**I was in that mood again... the mood to make Bella look like a high-class meanie...**

**So here it is! :D I hope you like it! And as always, revieeeeeeewwwww !**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters mentioned in this story... nor do I own a Ferrari :'(

* * *

**

Chapter 14

Seth Clearwater

"I'm not used to driving this fast," I admitted sheepishly, eyeing Bella from the rear-view mirror with a smile.

She was busy cradling a confused Reneesme in her arms, and looking out the window for any sign of wolves catching up. I honestly had no idea how they could catch up to a Ferrari pushing a hundred and fifty on the highway, but nevertheless I kept my eyes peeled for any suspicious movement in the undergrowth. My grip on the steering wheel was iron-like, and I was afraid we'd get stopped by a cop, who'd happily slap me with a huge fine for speeding and driving without a freaking license.

I shouldn't even be here. I should be fighting with the others, alongside Jake, Leah and the Cullens, but no. They all still thought I was some kind of kid who couldn't protect himself or those around him, so they had sent me off with the volatile newborn and her baby. As if Bella couldn't drive herself! I wanted, and _needed_, to be there with my pack in order to be a part of them. It wasn't fair, though… We had no destination, really, just driving aimlessly until Edward or someone from the Cullens called to give us the all- clear. I didn't want to drive for hours on end because it was pointless and, quite frankly, irritating. And if Bella didn't utter a word any time soon, that would only add even more to my irritation. I shook those thoughts out of my head and focused on the road before me. If we got far away enough we could make a simple pit stop and stay at some cafeteria until they called.

My mind conjured up potential situations that could be happening on the Cullens' grounds as I drove: Jacob and Sam, head to head; Leah, releasing her inner strength on anyone who attacked her. If I had been present, I would have probably taken the cubs, which would have been easy game, from my perspective at least. Then, I flashed back to when this had all began…

Edward and Carlisle had been talking in the woods when Quil had interrupted them and informed them that Sam's pack was coming. The very fact that Quil had been the one to go against Sam's pack was easily acceptable. The fact that Sam had the balls to lead a half a dozen kids to their deaths, was not. It was cruel and unusual punishment on their part. Still, Quil had come over to the Cullens' house and had explained what had, and was going to, happen. Unfortunately, Leah and Jacob hadn't been there at the time, nor when the fight had started. Honestly, I had no idea where they were, and since I hadn't phased, I couldn't really communicate with them. If only I could phase…

And there it was, that desire to phase… dammit.

Ever since we had left the Cullens' home, I had had this powerful urge to just strip and phase, probably to be able to talk to Leah and Jacob.

"Seth, what the hell are you doing?" Bella asked in a panicked tone. The car had stopped moving and I eased my foot off of the brake peddle. I had driven away from the highway, towards a patch were the undergrowth seeped onto the tarmac. I unlatched my seatbelt, and motioned to open the door.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I _need_ to phase," I said. Something was off, I could tell. A part of my heart was being wrenched and squeezed and the pain was just too much. I needed to know if everything was okay.

"But-" she started, but I was already out of the car, running towards the mass of trees close by. I took off my shirt and my pants and tied them around my ankle before I set off, sprinting, and waited for the heat to spread from the middle of my back, all the way to my fingertips. I watched my sense refine themselves as I turned into a wolf, before I set off, running around in circles and trying to catch Jacob or Leah's thoughts. I widened my circle, desperate, and I searched frantically for any sign that someone was out there.

Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of Sam's black form over a smaller, grey wolf. His teeth were wrapped around it's neck, and the smaller wolf was lying limp at Sam's mercy. The image got closer and closer, until the full force of a collision hit me head on. I shook off the shock, and quickly shifted through Jacob's thoughts, searching for the name of the wolf. But I didn't need to look. The name bubbled in Jacob's thoughts, and hit me harder than the collision between Jacob and Sam.

_Leah._

And then, I was off, sprinting through the forest without a second glance or a care about Bella and Reneesme. My main focus, now, was Leah, and the fact that I had let her down, and I hadn't been there to protect her. I was going to kick Sam's ass all the way to the fiery depths of hell. I dodged bushes, trees and all the other shit that was in my way. I didn't know this part of the forest, by I instinctively followed a straight path, hopefully one that led back to the Cullens' grounds. I blocked Jacob's brutal thoughts out, and focused on unleashing all my speed and strength into each and every stride.

Something faint, at the edges of my conscious was beating fervently, like a butterfly's wings, but then I realised that it was no butterfly. The sound was my sister's heart, and this only made me go faster.

* * *

I could smell the blood, but it was everywhere over the ground, all over the grass… the fight had stopped, but everyone was now watching the fight between Jacob and Sam. Carlisle and Edward were a little way off, kneeling beside a naked limp figure. Automatically, I ran towards them, not caring about their fight. Jake would win. He would win for Leah. I phased mid stride and quickly pulled on my pants, gasping for breath as I reached Carlisle.

"How is she?" I asked, kneeling beside Leah, and cradling her face in my palms. Her wide eyes were staring at me, but it was as if there was a glassy wall between us, and she couldn't see me at all. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I saw her like this, and I leaned closer to her. "You can't leave me, Leah. You can't. You're my sister and you promised to be there forever. I'm sorry I wasn't with you, and I'm know I'm a terrible brother, but I promise I won't nag at you if just stay, stay with me."

The tears were falling now, and I didn't care if I was being watched. I was no doctor, so I couldn't tell how severe her wounds were. A sharp crack caused my head to snap out, and I saw Carlisle straightening Leah's arm out beside her body. Her arm had already been broken twice. I let my gaze linger over her body, and watched the blood pulse from a large wound, searing across her lower abdomen.

"Edward…" I pleaded, and he looked at me, hearing in my thoughts what I wanted to know.

"Her right side is entirely broken. We're getting the morphine before Carlisle cans tart treating the severe wounds. She's losing a lot of blood…"

"Is she going to _die_?" I asked, sobbing over my sister, curling my body around her protectively, placing a barrier between us, Carlisle, and the rest of the world.

Edward's face was grim and I looked away, stroking my sister's blood-caked her, and untying the knots with my fingers. "I don't know, Seth. Carlisle will do everything he can, I'm sure. She's in good hands."

Without want, I looked up at Carlisle, who had been silent all the while, and saw that he was looking at Leah, brows furrowed and fingers moving swiftly over her skin. "Where's Alice with the damn bag?" he complained, and almost immediately, she was there, handing him his medical bag and two bowls: one with steaming water and the other with cold water. "Thanks, Alice."

"No problem."

Edward was looking away now, staring intently at the fight between Jacob and Sam, which was, unsurprisingly, still going on. I watched decided to watch, too, disgusted by the blood that was trickling all over Leah's body.

Jacob was obviously outraged. The hackles on his back were on end, and his teeth were bared all the time, ready to snap at any moment. He reached out a claw, and ran out over Sam's stomach, drawing blood wherever he touched. Sam tried to step away, but Jacob overcame him, and soon had him pinned to the ground, with his muzzle crushed against the mud. Jacob was acting so quickly and so lethally, he wasn't even giving Sam a chance to react. Jacob kept his paw over Sam's mouth, and stepped over his body, before he leaned down and sunk his teeth into his neck. Sam's eyes widened as blood trickled down his neck and onto the floor.

Jake shook his head, and seconds later, Sam was flying over everyone's heads, his body limp. He collapsed onto the ground, and from I was sitting, I head his bones cripple with the momentum of the fall. Sam was lost cause, but nevertheless, Jacob ran over to him and dragged his worthless ass back to where they had been fighting before. He phased, and when he saw that every wolf was paying attention to him, he started talking.

"If one of you ass pricks ever touches someone from my pack again, you'll get an ass whooping like Sam here, got it?" he shouted, and everyone seemed to shrink into themselves with each word he spat at them. Sam phased back at his feet and curled into a ball around himself, shudders rippling the length of his back.

A soft gasp made me drag my eyes away from Jacob and the others, back to my sister, who was now looking up at me, actually _looking _at me now, and crying.

"Oh, Leah," I said, bending down again so that I was closer to her. "Tell me where it hurts, honey, tell me." I looked into her chocolate eyes, and watched the tears trickle from them, as her eyes, slowly, slowly, closed. I watched in horror as she succumbed. Was she dead? I asked myself, passing my hand over her smooth cheek, wet with tears. My own tears fell onto her face. I wanted to die myself, now that Leah was no longer-

"It's just morphine, Seth. She'll wake up soon. Carlisle just needs to treat her without hurting her anymore."

Bare feet prodded towards us, and I looked up at Jacob, hovering over us. He knelt down, and looked at me sideways, clutching my hand. It seemed strange to have Jacob's hand around mine, but for a few fleeting minutes, it wasn't Jacob next to me. It was my father, and I was sure he was going to help Leah stay with me.

* * *

Jacob Black

I watched Seth weep over Leah for a long, long time. Carlisle couldn't move Leah's body until her severe wounds were either tied up or treated, so it didn't come as a surprise that all the wolves, except Sam, had left to their homes, treated or not. They had probably already healed… Emmett and Jasper had moved Sam inside, under Carlisle's orders, but Leah hadn't been moved. It was something quite impossible that Leah's wounds were more severe than Sam's, but I chose to believe that Carlisle was simply putting Leah's best interests at heart. They were, after all, on good terms with each other.

Seth was sitting back now, and he had calmed down and stopped crying when Edward had reassured him that Leah's condition was on the mend. Seth, however, hadn't been the only one who had been worried about Leah. When I had seen Sam hovering over her limp form, I had almost had a seizure. My heart had grown in on itself and it was as if all the muscles in body had realised that I could lose her. I hadn't been entirely focused on what I was doing to Sam… I had been far too mad to care. I had simply followed my instincts, and had decided to spare Emily some mourning at the last minute.

At times, I regretted not killing him, because I realised how much potential trouble I could have avoided in the long run. But then again, whenever these thoughts came to mind, a rational part of me reminded me that if I _had _killed Sam, the packs would have been united together and I would have had to lug around those hooligans Sam called his pack.

Carlisle placed his arm beneath Leah's neck, supporting her weight, and the other arm held her broken leg up. He made sure to keep her body away from his, to avoid any contact that could cause her any harm or discomfort. He started walking with her to the main house, and we followed, keeping the distance between us and them sparse. Edward was also with us, keeping an eye on Leah's thoughts to make sure that she wasn't feeling any pain or anything.

Slowly, Carlisle made his way up the stairs, careful not to jostle her, but Leah was still unconscious from the dose of morphine Carlisle had given her hours before. He lay her on the bed like a porcelain doll, afraid she would break if he let her slip, whilst Seth dragged an armchair close to the bed and slumped down onto it. The kid was truly tired, and yet, I knew that he wouldn't leave his sister's side until she was completely healed and treated. So, obligated in my role as Alpha and friend (and from my perspective, something even more), I grabbed a spare chair and settled down a little ways back from Seth, folding my arms across my chest and settling myself down for a long wait. But however long the wait, I'd wait it out for Leah, any time.

* * *

"Jake," a hoarse voice called, shaking my shoulder slightly to wake me up. I opened my eyes and shook the sleep out of them. Seth was standing beside me, his eyes marred with black bags which showed how sleepy he was. I was ashamed to say that I had slept as Leah was being operated, but Seth hadn't battled his guts out to avenge her misery and suffering.

My gaze fell onto the immobile form on the gurney before me. Leah's smooth face was decorated with faint, thin scars: two on her forehead and one on her jaw. Still, her face held that bronze glow that only Leah could pull off. Her slender body was covered with a thin sheet: from the chest to the thighs, and I could see that her legs were healed and that one of them was in a cast, again.

"C'mon," he said, grabbing my shoulder and yanking me up, "Esme cooked up some food for us." Immediately, I took in a big gulp of air and smelt the wondrous aromas that were wafting from the kitchen. I gave Leah still body one final look, before we descended the stairs and went to the kitchen.

"Hey," Esme greeted us with a smile and placed to plates on the table. Seth and I slid into place, and I truly felt tired at that moment, as I lifted the fork to my mouth and tasted the steak on my tongue.

Suddenly, as I was chewing happily, Edward flashed by us and moved towards the front door, pulling it open to reveal an angry Bella. _Uh-oh…_ I thought to myself as she stepped inside and handed Nessie to Edward. An angry Bella was never something nice to experience. She was in the kitchen, with us, in a matter of seconds, standing next to Seth with her arms crossed over her chest.

"How _could_ you?" she screamed in his ear, eyes beady and her jaw gnashed. "How could you leave me and my daughter alone on a highway? You selfish basta-"

Seth swivelled around on his chair, grabbed Bella by the waist and pushed her away from him, into the wall. Plaster flaked onto her head, and she walked away from the dent she had caused in the wall. "_Shut up Bella! Just fuck off!"_ he yelled at her, getting off of his chair and pacing around the room, the heels of his palms digging into his eyes.

"No, I will _not_ shutup!" she screeched. "My family sent you with me to protect me and my daughter, and yet, you left us without a warning or explanation of what the hell was going on!"

I could feel the fork in my hand bend due to the strenuous effort I was exerting on it. Bella was being a total ass-hole, and she hadn't even asked why Seth had run off in the first place. Even though Bella was my best friend, her whole new attitude towards everyone else around her was pissing the crap out of me. Just because her daughter was dying didn't give her any reason to be horribly mean to anyone who was simply trying to _help_ her. I eyed Seth, afraid he would break down again soon, but he simply kept on facing before angry-looking Bella and Edward.

Bella was mad at Seth, but Edward was _furious_ at Bella. I was keen to watch an argument erupt between these two, but I knew Edward wouldn't stoop so low as to fight with his wife in front of us.

"I didn't _want _to be there, Bella. I had way better things to do at the time. They just sent me with you to keep me out of the way. You can get hit by a freaking eighteen wheeler and _still_ come out unscathed. I couldn't protect you much, anyway…. So don't you come in here telling me that I left you unprotected," he said, pointing a stern finger in her direction.

Bella tilted her chin away from him and locked her jaw, and seconds later, her steely crimson eyes found mine and held them. And right there and then, I shuddered, because the Bella I knew and loved wasn't there anymore. She'd been replaced by some evil, bloodthirsty demon that thirsted for other people's misery in order to keep her own at bay.

Edward hissed at my thoughts, and I looked at him defiantly, challenging him to silence my thoughts. I thought on, how the new Bella disgusted me to the core, and I found myself pushing my plate away from me, looking at Esme with an apologetic smile. "I lost my appetite, sorry. Save it for later, please," I said, grabbing Seth by the arm and taking him to the living room, where the lump of living flesh that we called Sam was watching Carlisle bandage his arm up. As he heard us approaching, he looked away from Carlisle, and I saw the damage I had done to his face.

He had one, bulging black eye, and a swollen jaw, and at least five scars over his cheeks. Even one of his ears was torn at the tip. I smirked in approval of the damage I had done. He deserved it really, for being such a natural ass about everything. I realised that Sam's chest was…distorted as soon as I walked over to the arm chair opposite the couch, for a better view. Seth stood behind the couch, arms crossed, watching Carlisle's feathery fingers move over Sam's skin.

"Still need to re-break the bones?" I asked, settling back onto the couch with a smirk planted onto my face. I felt like watching Sam suffer a little bit more… Carlisle nodded, not lifting his gaze away from Sam's chest. It was something truly disgusting to look at: bones visible through the skin, stretching it in impossible ways…

"And I used up all my morphine on Leah…"

Sam's eyes widened, and he looked at Carlisle in panic, sweat beading on his forehead. "Can't you go get anymore?"

"Aw, is little Sammy scared?"

"Shut it, Black," he snapped at me, and I leaned forward wringing my fists together over and over.

"I don't think you are in _any _position to threaten me, Sam," I reminded, and he grimaced, looking at Carlisle again.

"I've ordered way too much morphine over the last month… if I order anymore, they'll get suspicious and they'd want to know what I was using all this morphine on. See my problem now?" he told Sam, gripping his sides. Sam let his head loll over the arm of the couch, steadying himself for the pain that came with re-breaking bones. "I have to get these in the right position without hitting the lungs," Carlisle murmured, mostly to himself, but Sam heard him clearly and looked as if he was about to faint.

I looked away when Carlisle seemed ready to break. My stomach wasn't the strongest one in the room, and distorted skin was not something nice to look at, nor were moving bones. Many, consecutive cracks were heard, and I listened in as Sam strived to stifle his whimpers and sobs. I let my gaze flow, slowly, back to Sam long after Carlisle had left the room to get more bandages and tape. Sam was still calming down, being a little over-dramatic, but I ignored him and watched Seth leave the room and go upstairs, into the room where Leah was, still under.

I turned my full attention to Sam, who was staring at me now. I cleared my throat, "If you _ever _touch Leah again, I swear to God, Carlisle won't even _need _to look at you to know that you're a dead man, got it?"

"Why the sudden protectiveness, Black? Taking a liking to Leah, are you?" he said, smirking.

"Leah is my beta, nothing more, nothing less. At least I treat her with the dignity and respect she _deserves_. You _left_ her, broken and bleeding, you sick, twisted man," I spat, folding my arms across my chest and staring at him intently.

He remained silent for a few minutes, looking at his chest with his brows furrowed and a V forming between them. He finally lifted his eyes up to look at me, sadness and guilt deeply evident in his eyes. "How….how is she?" he asked, his voice gentle.

Without want, my scowl softened and I twiddled my fingers together. "She's… doing okay. At first, out there, I thought she was going to die. But Carlisle would never let one of us go… she's broken the whole right side of her body and her stomach had been partially opened… and her neck tissues were torn. I'm sure they're still healing right now…"

He ran his good hand over his eyes, "Man, I never meant to hurt her so bad-"

"And yet, you almost killed her, didn't you? Not once, whilst you were hurting her, did you stop think 'Hey, maybe I'm going to far with this', not _one, single bloody time_," I emphasised with a growl.

He looked away, guilt washing all over his features. I knew I'd struck a nerve, somewhere, but Sam needed to know whatever pain Leah could go through, emotionally, knowing that her ex readily attacked her during a battle. The silence upstairs, in Carlisle's study and the room Leah was in, showed me that our conversation had spiked the interest of more than one person. As Sam turned to answer back, a screech from the drive-way caused him to pause, mouth half-way open. A car door slammed, and heavy footsteps climbed the four porch steps that led to the front door. A familiar scent filled my nostrils, and I immediately knew that the only person that could make Sam even more afraid for his life, was standing outside.

The door swung open, to reveal a short, furious woman, who wasted no time and walked towards Sam, pointing a stern finger at him.

"Sam Uley," Sue Clearwater growled.


	15. Chapter 15

**This took longer than I expected... **

**Bella's being a meanie again -.-' (I honestly can't stop making her look bad :P)**

**So, I hope you like the chapter... it's kind of a filler, though. Next one will be better, I promise ;)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 15

Leah Clearwater

The pain was, partially, gone. I was no longer succumbing to the pain that had overtaken me outside, during the fight. This was… better, by far. My mind took over, and I felt every nook and cranny in my body, except the places that were broken.

I couldn't believe I was in a cast _again_! After having healed for the first time… this second time was going to be unbearable. I didn't want to open to my eyes yet. Opening my eyes would only remove the fantasy my mind was conjuring up. Obviously, there was pain, present in my body; I just wasn't feeling it yet. I winced, my mind flooding with thoughts of what had happened during the fight, and of what had brought me here. I clenched my fists, fighting back the tears that were brewing beneath my eyelids.

I knew Sam didn't love me anymore, but I never thought he'd want to _kill_ me. That was the hardest part, the one I still couldn't believe. Alright, Sam hadn't talked to me civilly in ages, and we weren't on good terms, but I wasn't on good terms with almost everybody, and yet, did they come to kill me? I was going to _marry_ the man who almost killed me… I shook those thoughts aside. Sam Uley was a monster, a consorting demon that wanted to suck the life out of me and replace it with misery, and misery alone. I inhaled, and smelt Seth's strong, solid scent close to me, and I couldn't help the smile that graced my lips. Seth would always be there, no matter what happened or what I was. And yet, I always felt that Seth didn't deserve a sister like me.

But I was too selfish to give him up. And Jacob… oh, I had seen Jacob attack Sam seconds before I had lost control of my body. Funnily enough, my eyes had still been open, and I still _saw _what was going on. I just couldn't respond, react or feel anything. The pain had numbed me way too many times, and I was thankful for that. A part of me was glowing in happiness as the fact that Jake had fought for me sunk into the folds of my brain. _He had fought for me…_ _Clearwater, snap the hell out of it. _I couldn't let myself think of Jacob like that. I inhaled once again, searching for Edward's scent, and when I realised that he was there, along with Bella, I stopped thinking about Jacob immediately.

I opened my eyes slowly, watching the bright bulb above me glow. Every single time I looked up at this ceiling, I was always waking up from a near-death experience, or something like that. It funny to think how many times I had almost died, and it was sad, too, to know how many people wanted to kill me. My eyes searched the room, and landed on a lean, solid figure leaning against the doorframe and looking away from me, at something down stairs. A muffled, husky voice was wafting upstairs, but my hearing was still recovering, and I couldn't hear properly. But I was sure that Jacob was talking. Seth was the one leaning against the door, and he was listening far too intently to see me watching him.

"Seth…" I whispered, and he was by my side immediately, face next to mine, eyes wide.

"Are you hurt? Where does it hurt?" he asked quickly, but I lifted my good hand and placed a finger against his lips, silencing him.

"Shh, I'm okay. Quite good, actually," I reassured, dragging my finger away from his mouth, and sliding my arm underneath my body, lifting myself up. As I did so, my elbow dug into my ribs, and a searing pain ran the length of my chest, stomach and abdomen, leaving me breathless. "Oh, no, not good…" I said in a raspy voice, finding it difficult to breathe properly.

Seth immediately placed his hands beneath my armpits and pulled me up, making sure to hold the thin sheet, that was covering me, over my body. As soon as I was sitting up straight, without any difficulties, Seth left the room and returned a few seconds later, clothes in his hand. "They stink, but they were the only things I could find," he explained, and helped me stick my good hand into the blouse. My right hand was tied to my body, so he tore the sleeve off of the right side and clutched my elbow carefully, sliding my arm into place swiftly.

He slid a long pair of shorts over my legs, and over the damned cast, then I tugged the shorts up, over my hips whilst Seth held the sheet over my lower body. "Thanks," I breathed finally, and I swung my legs off of the bed, and Seth slid his shoulder beneath my arm, letting me rest my weight against his body. He started walking towards the door, while I simply dragged my leg against the wooden floor.

We hadn't even made it to the door when a stamping of feet outside and a door slamming open downstairs caught my attention. I looked up at Seth, questions swimming in my eyes, but the look on his face was simply awestruck.

"Who is it?" I asked fervently.

He gulped and blinked away the confusion, before he turned to me with a sly smile on his face. "It's mom."

"What?" I whispered, but he silenced me and walked me over to the top of the staircase, over looking part of the living room, where an amused Jacob was sitting in an armchair looking at something happening on the couch.

"Sam Uley," my mother growled, her voice heavy with anger and disapproval. "What the hell did you do to my daughter?"

"I'm sorry, Sue," Sam said, his voice thin and weak, breaking on the last word, "I never meant to hurt her so bad-"

"So _bad_? _Bad _is an understatement, Sam. Quil told me you almost _killed _her-"

"It was an accident!"

"_Killing someone is never an accident_," my mother yelled, her voice high-pitched and scary. Jacob was suppressing a laugh, his hand over his mouth as he watched Sam get yelled at by my mom. Seth fist bumped me with a smile.

"No one gets the job done better than mom," he said, quietly, moving towards the stairs and beginning a slow descent towards the living room.

"I forbid you from seeing, talking or even _thinking _about my daughter, Sam, because one way or another, you're bound to hurt her."

"You _know _the imprint was not my fault, Sue, you can't blame it on me!"

"And yet, you repeatedly break her heart, even though I'm sure it can't be broken anymore."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? That I wish I'd never met Emily to save Leah from the heartbreak? I wish I could take it all back, if it meant keeping Leah's heart in tact, but Emily is my soul mate-"

"Bullshit! That gives you absolutely _no_ reason to kill her!"

"I was fighting against Jacob at the time! Leah distracted me!"

Then, Jacob was off of the couch, walking towards Sam with menace clearly evident on his features. "Leah did _not _distract you. You attacked her when you clearly had the advantage on _me. _Why Sam, why?"

"I don't know!"

Seth's grip on my waist tightened as we neared the last few steps of the stairs, holding me closer to him, but I was quite sure that that was not entirely possible. Any closer to him and I would have been fused to his body. Nevertheless, as we reached the entrance to the living room, I still felt the need to move closer to Seth, for protection. I was afraid of Sam, because if he had almost killed me once, he could sure as hell do it again.

My mother and Jacob were standing by the couch, looking down at Sam, who was lounging on the couch, bandages everywhere. Sam was also afraid, trying to shrink into the couch to avoid my mother and Jacob's penetrating glares. Jacob sensed us, and so did Sam, and they whipped their heads around in our direction.

"Leah…" Jacob trailed off and moved to walk towards us, but a sharp slap forced him to pause mid-stride. My gaze floated back to Sam, who was now holding his palm up to his reddened cheek, his eyes wide in shock.

"What the hell was that for?" he had the nerve to ask, but my mother cut him off with another slap, across his right cheek.

"Do you think my daughter is in a good state, Uley? Look at what you've done to her!" she screamed, storming over towards me, her scowl softening with each step. "My baby…" she cooed, clutching my face in her palms and caressing my forehead with her feathery fingertips. "Look at what that monster's done to you…" she cried softly, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm okay, mom, I'm better now-"

"But I almost lost you, honey." She placed a feathery kiss on my forehead and turned back to scowl at Sam, who looked away, the fear evident on his face. Ah, sweet victory. Not only did Sam lose the fight with the Cullens, but he also lost his dignity before his own pack, before Jacob, the Cullens and now, my mother. Seth walked me over to one of the armchairs and settled me onto it, moving the coffee table over to me and propping my leg over a soft cushion.

Jacob sat on the chair he had been sitting on originally, beaming at me hesitantly. I was feeling… quite good now. Seth came to sit on the armrest next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder casually. A door, somewhere in the house, opened and closed, and I caught a whiff of Bella's obviously-there scent. She was with us in the living in a few seconds, Reneesme resting on her hip, her face towards us and her nose sniffing and searching the air. Her eyes were still swollen, and now I knew what Carlisle meant about there not being any more hope for Reneesme.

Her head was _way _too big, compared to her tiny body, and she seemed to have shrunken in on herself in the past few days. Her fingers were no longer chubby with baby fat, but were now spidery and long, like an old woman's, with the wrinkles and all. Her skin seemed to be stretched too tight over her face, and it had lost its rosy colour. I couldn't help but stare, dumbstruck, at Reneesme, and I caught Edward glaring at me from the corner of my eye.

Reneesme held her life less palm up against her mother's neck and Bella was soon moving towards me, and gently placing Reneesme in my lap. The girl curled around me, burying her head at my neck and placing a light hand over my chest.

_Hi Aunt Leah… You've got to be more careful, you know? Momma said you got really hurt yesterday. You can't get hurt anymore, I worry too much about you._

I was kind of shocked that a weeks-old child had enough compassion inside her to care for me, a she-wolf. "You shouldn't worry about me, honey. I'll be okay, no matter what happens." At that, my mother snorted, and gave Sam one of her signature scowls, to which he looked away, the coward that he was.

Bella cleared her throat, and I looked in her direction as she lifted a camel cloth bag up into the air. "What the hell is this?"

I recognized the bag as the one Marla had given me, the one I had left at Bella's cottage on our way to the fight here yesterday. I had completely forgotten about it. "It's mine," I said, reaching out my good hand for it. Bella tossed it, and Seth caught it for me, handing it to me himself. I opened the bag and Nessie lifted her head up to sniff inside it.

_They smell nice…_

"They do, don't they?" I said with a smile, as I took out the three jars and handed them to Seth, who eyed them sceptically. Edward was also looking at them through narrowed eyes.

"What _are _they?" Bella asked impatiently, moving to stand before the couch, before she fell onto it in a graceful manner, forcing Sam to curl his legs a little in order for her to sit.

"They're herbal medicines," Edward answered her quickly and I scowled at him.

"Thanks, Eddie," I said sarcastically and stuck my tongue out at him.

"No problem."

"Herbal medicines? As in, the ones Native Americans and Africans use to heal the sick? Why would _you _of all people have herbal medicines in your bag?" she eyed me for a few seconds, before she found out herself what we were going to use them for. Her eyes widened and she started shaking her head fervently. "No. _No!_ I won't let you use any foreign stuff on my daughter!"

"Why not?" Jacob demanded and she looked at him for a few seconds, her eyes searching for an answer to his question on his face.

"Because… what if they aren't good to her? What if they hurt her?"

I ran a shaky hand over my face, trying to rid my thoughts of the frustration and disbelief that can part and package with Bella's denial. What the hell was she saying? Did she honestly still think we had time think if things were good for Reneesme or not? Did she not realise that her daughter's condition was so critical that Carlisle had resorted to drastic, less logical areas of medicine?

"Bella… we don't have time for this…" Edward pleaded, irritation laced into his voice.

Bella's head snapped towards Edward, her perfect face melting into an ugly scowl, a delicate V forming between her eyebrows, "We have _time, _Edward… Reneesme still has time. She has time!" Bella's voice had turned panicked now, and she looking at each one of us in turn, trying to find some one of us that would agree with her statement. But we all knew that she was wrong to think so. Reneesme didn't have _any _time left, and the fact that she was still living now was like a gift from God, each breath.

"No, we don't, Bella," Edward said, moving towards her and placing a hand on her back.

She moved away from his touch. "Don't _touch_ me, Edward," she hissed, standing up and folding her arms across her chest, glowering at everyone.

_Why is my Momma mad, Leah?_ Reneesme asked hesitantly, but I chose to ignore her question and turned my attention back to the attitude whore at hand.

"We won't be using these foreign substances on Reneesme… not now, not ever," she said, evenly and surely.

But she bit back her words when Carlisle appeared in the living room, hand outstretched, beckoning me to hand him the canvas bag. "Actually, I sent Leah to get the herbs. I'm willing to try them, seeing as herbs _don't harm anyone_," he explained, eyeing Bella, who looked away guiltily. Seth lifted Reneesme off of the couch and gave her to Carlisle, who settled her on the empty love seat, making sure that she was comfortable before he began. He emptied the bag, placing all three jars on the coffee table, and looking at me expectantly.

"That one is the sage…" I began, and Carlisle started applying the creams to Reneesme, and no one realised that Bella had left the room, except when Carlisle had finished Nessie off and everyone had filtered out of the room.

* * *

It had been two days now, and I was feeling better than ever. Carlisle had told me that he would take off my cast today, and I was really anticipating the cast removal this time: I wanted to be out and about again, rather than spending my never ending days in a stinking vampire house. Reneesme stayed with me a lot, trying to keep me company, but nevertheless, I still enjoyed my own solitude. I still enjoyed being alone.

Sam was still stuck on the couch, and that fact brought with it many horrors that I had never thought of. Of course, if Sam was staying here, it obviously meant that Emily got to come, visit and stay, too. When I had woken up and smelt her downstairs, I had almost passed out. Emily hated the vamps, as much as the other wolves and Sam, so to find her here, in their home, was… strange, to say the least.

She tried to small talk me into telling her how I was, but I wasn't freaking stupid. I mumbled little, slightly incoherent, mumblings simply to keep the conversation alive. She obviously wasn't good at reading my irritation, because I could've sworn that it was written all over my features. Or, maybe, she was blatantly choosing to ignore it.

I was settled comfortably on the couch I been occupying for the past few days, my healing leg resting on the coffee table, cushioned over a little pillow, and I was watching the busy vampires flitting about the house. Carlisle was applying the herbs to Reneesme's face _again_ and Edward was watching intently, probably listening into his daughter's thoughts to pinpoint any discomfort or such. In truth, my dislike for Edward was slowly dissipating: he wasn't _nearly _as annoying and bitchy as his wife, so I no longer snapped at him every time he opened his mouth.

Maybe it was because he believed in me.

It felt… _good _to be believed in, to know someone still sees the potential in you. My mom had spent the past two days sleeping in Edward's old room, waking up and going to sleep with a glare on her face whenever she saw Sam. I had never thought my mom would end up hating Sam so badly. Sure, when he had left me she had been beyond angry, but I had never seen her so passionate about something. Maybe it still hadn't sunk in that Sam had almost, deliberately, killed me, but it was bound to, and in my mother's mind it was one of the sins he would pay deeply for.

Alice, small and dainty, was in a good mood (sort of) and, with a smile on her face, she was moving around the others, talking to Seth animatedly and keeping conversation with Emily, talking about home deco and such. I ignored them and waited patiently until Carlisle called me upstairs to remove my cast.

I had one particular motive in mind, and that was the only reason why I wanted it removed. Jacob was lounging against one of the living room walls, arms crossed and watching everyone in their own business. I was looking at him, too, feeling the imprint pull me towards him without my want. I had been trying to fight it for the past few days, trying to push it aside, much to no avail. I knew that I had to tell him, at some point, but I was selfishly biding my time, to keep myself from hurting any time soon.

"Leah…" Carlisle's smooth voice trailed off, and I looked up into his tender, butterscotch eyes, placing my hand in his and letting him help me up. He led me up the stairs, knowing that I could manoeuvre easily with a cast nowadays. They had practically become a part of me, on my leg at least. My ribs were healed, and all the scratches and tiny wounds had disappeared already. Sam, however, was healing extremely slowly, considering his wolf abilities, and Carlisle was still trying to figure out what was taking so long.

"So… healed, you think?" he asked as I climbed onto the small bed tucked into the corner of his study and kneeled down before me, holding my leg in his hands.

"Yeah, I think," I said, excitement laced into my voice. I had never expected to be so happy for removing a cast, but now that I had something to look forward to after, I simply couldn't wait. I watched, somewhat patiently, as Carlisle slowly unwound the cast, revealing the tender skin beneath it. He prodded the muscles, as he had done the first time, looking for any weakness and such, none of which he found, before he lifted my shirt slightly and checked my ribs.

"You wolves always manage to surprise me, Leah… You and Sam, you didn't heal at the same speed… it seems all of you are different from each other, so it makes it kind of difficult to know what to expect," he said with a chuckle, letting go of my shirt and nodding at me to leave.

"Thanks _again, _Carlisle," I said, grinning, and with a dismissive wave, I darted down the stairs, towards the back door, sprinting onto the fresh soil and feeling it between my toes.

The last time I had broken my leg, that was the first thing I had done: as a child, I had always enjoyed being in contact with the Earth, and the fact that I was a wolf always sated my natural needs, constantly running patrols in the forest surrounding La Push. Now, as I ran towards the river that separated the Cullens' land from the woods, as I felt the wind sweep through my hair, I smiled and pushed myself further as the knowledge that maybe, just maybe, some questions would be answered today coursed through my veins.

I hoped to God that Marla would be home, but nevertheless I kept on running towards the outskirts of La Push, towards the Makah rez, darting through the trees. It had rained the past night, and everything was still fresh from the rain. Each leaf was decorated with clear droplets and I could hear plummeting droplets fall from the trees above, a gentle symphony that was music to my ears.

Sooner than I had expected, Marla's little Hansel-and-Gretel cottage popped out from between the trees, and I slowed down immediately, sensing that she already knew that I was coming. She had known the first time, right? And as if reading my mind, her wrinkled bronze face appeared behind the thin screen of the back door, a tentative smile about her lips.


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm SO SO SO SO sorry.**

**Really, I am. I never thought this would take this long :/**

**Anyways, I hope you like it...**

**And as always, Read & Review!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 16

Leah Clearwater

Marla was the most inspiring woman I have ever met, after my mom, of course. As soon as she saw me approaching, I swear she went into a complete frenzy: her tiny, wrinkled hands were shaking with excitement and her electric blue eyes wide and frantic. She had the back door open in a few seconds, arms wide with a smile plastered to her face, beckoning me towards her.

Even if she hadn't wanted me, there was some kind of aura about this place that simply pulled me towards Marla's little cottage. Something here _wanted _me to come over. So, I simply walked up to the back porch and climbed the three rickety steps up to the door, where a waiting Marla was looking on, amused. She ushered me inside anyway, leading me to the living room, cluttered anew with random shit. I slumped onto one of the couches and Marla perched herself on the one opposite mine, a silly grin plastered to her face.

"What?" I asked, finally, too annoyed with a plastic face.

Her smile fell at that, and the normal Marla returned, with her electric blue eyes raking over me in curiosity. "I just expected the Alpha to come today, too," she said, with a tinge of disappointment to her tone.

It confused me, this mystery game that she had going on, always keeping me on edge with her comments, and her unlimited knowledge, it seemed. And now, that she knew Jake's position in the pack… well, that just plain freaked me out. I tried to stifle the shock that bubbled in my throat and mustered up the vocal chords to ask her, "How the hell do you know that Jacob is the Alpha?"

Apparently, it was some kind of sick joke to her. Marla burst out laughing when I asked her how she knew about Jake, and she literally spent minutes on end laughing like an idiot on her own. I tried not to let that gnaw at my temper, but I found myself impatiently tapping my foot against the worn, wooden floor, folding my arms across my chest.

"How do I know about the Alpha?" she murmured, mostly to herself in a sarcastic tone, whilst rubbing her eyes from the tears. "I'd think it critical for the healer of the tribe to know who the Alpha is, right?"

My brows furrowed as I thought of her words. "But you said you had been kicked out of the pack before we started phasing-"

"Being the Alpha is not in the name, or the body. It's the poise, the stance, the look in his eyes and, more importantly, the way he reacts to certain comments. Jacob Black is, through succession, the rightful Alpha, but he didn't just inherit the Alpha gene. He worked it into every part of him."

When she saw me looking at her dumbstruck and jaw slack, she waved off my stare dismissively. "It happens naturally. It's in him. That's why it's so easy to pick Jacob from Samuel Uley, and all the others," I flinched at Sam's name, but Marla didn't see me and kept going on, "Ah, I've missed the pack dynamics…"

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly entranced by everything I didn't know.

She shrugged. "The pack is more complex than you think, Leah. The fact that there are two Alphas in La Push is risky, and scary to say the least. The fact that Sam Uley doesn't have a Beta but Jacob does… that threatens Sam's position as Alpha of his pack."

I snorted when she mentioned me, the worthless bitchy Beta that had just been given a position to keep her mouth shut. Marla's eyes flashed up to look at me, fiery blue swirling in the irises.

"What?"

"Well…" I trailed off, "Beta isn't the right word for me… I don't actually do what Beta's are supposed to do."

"Well, you obviously don't know your family history, Leah. You see," she said, getting off of the couch and scuffling around the living room, searching through various drawers and baskets filled with folders and such until she found the one she was looking for. She held up a little yellow notebook, wound shut with a button and a string, between her fingers and gingerly handed it to me. "_Clearwater_," she breathed, and then, I just couldn't _not_ open it up. I fervently unwound the string and watched the little book open up on it's own, the gentle creases that marked it's age marring the edges.

The first page was empty, apart from an elegantly printed word at the centre of the page. 'Clearwater' it read in that ornate script and as I flipped the page, and read the date of the first entry, I was truly shocked. I looked up at Marla for admission and she nodded me on, beckoning me to read. But I couldn't. I looked up at her, staring at her.

"What _is _this?" I asked her, softly.

"It's your history, Leah," she spoke tenderly, letting it roll off of her tongue slowly. "It's everything you need to know about your ancestors, your blood line. _Who you are, _really." I nodded, but simply closed the notebook and settled it on the couch beside me. "You're not hear to read, I know," she nodded, sitting back down on the couch before me.

"How _do _you know, Marla? And don't you tell me it's because of some healer-mumbo-jumbo crap, hear me?"

She remained silent for a few minutes, twiddling her fingers and staring at the contact the skins made with each other. I waited for her to talk, to tell me what was up with her creepy psychic statements. Sometimes, when I thought of Marla's responses and comments to certain things, I was remained of… Alice, the pixie leech. I don't know why really.

"I'm not going to tell you knowing what will happen comes part and package with being a healer, because it's not true. When I was a little girl, I was different. I saw things I shouldn't, I heard things I shouldn't, I knew things I shouldn't have known. The other girls my age pushed me aside and away from them, until I was so… alone, that my mother had no choice but to keep me at home, to keep them from taking me to a mental institution. But I didn't want to spend the rest of my life locked indoors, in fear that they would take me away, so I escaped one day, and I came here.

"I don't know why I did that, but I did, and it was the best darn thing I have ever done. Ruth was here, and she was tending to her plants when I saw her first, surrounded by vibrant flowers, all the colours of the rainbow. Sometimes, when I think of when she had seen me, I'm reminded by the fierce blow a wolf receives when he imprints: it was that type of magnitude, that type of…. Feeling. I was compelled to join her, but I was so young… she was afraid to take me in with her.

"I was thirteen when she took me in full-time, and at that tender age, I begun to learn the traits of a healer. There was no pack at the time, but Ruth remembered the last pack, Ephraim's. She gave me detailed descriptions, vivid beyond belief… and that is how I am healer." She stared at me defiantly. "I saw you coming way before you had even decided it, saw the Alpha's future disappear before my eyes, saw you become wolves. I saw _everything."_

"You're psychic?" I whispered softly, and she nodded, then stopped and shrugged, as if unsure.

"I am," she said, answering my silent statement, " unsure, that is. Psychic… it just didn't roll off my tongue so well. I don't like it. It's like I'm some herbal tea or something. Speaking of herbs… I can't see the person you're using them on. Is she okay?"

I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. What to say. Did Marla know about the vampires? Would she throw me out if I told her that we had an alliance, that the baby spawn was under our care and protection because our Alpha loved her mother? I didn't know. I was afraid to find out. But my mouth won me over.

"Marla… I don't know if I should tell you."

She held her palm out, gesturing me to follow. "I know about the vampires in our vicinity, Leah. I've known about them ever since they moved here."

"You _knew_?" I asked, shocked, my voice rising a pitch.

She nodded, with a smirk on her wrinkled, little face. "Of course. When I started seeing huge black spots in my mind, I knew something was up. And when I consulted the Council at that time, they explained everything to me. And when the pack split into two and the real Alpha disappeared, I just assumed he had strengthened the treaty."

I nodded, leaning back into the couch and folding my arms across my chest.

"But I would like to learn more about them," she said quietly, looking at me steadily.

I looked away, unsure of what the right thing to do was.

"Oh, my," Marla breathed, as I tilted my head away from her. In a flash, she was beside me, her feathery fingers hovering just above the skin of my neck. "Oh, my, my, my…."

"What?" I snapped, twisting me head back around to look at her menacingly. She was now seated on the couch next to me, her hand still precariously close to my neck. "What is wrong with my neck?" She heard the panic that was obviously laced deeply into my voice, but she remained calm and I watched her features soften as she looked at me.

"Your neck-"

"I know it's my neck-"

"Will you let me finish?" she growled, snapping at me fiercely. When I quieted down and motioned for her to continue, she proceeded. "You're scarred, honey," she explained, her voice impeccably soft compared to the harsh tone she had used on me before.

My eyes were wide as sauce pans as I searched, desperately, for a mirror in her living room, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack in this damn mess. As if she had read my mind, Marla produced a mirror from underneath the coffee table, which I clutched tightly in my hand, holding it up to my face.

I almost broke the mirror with what I saw.

"That son of a fucking bitch!" I screamed, throwing the mirror aside, hearing it crack into a million tiny pieces. I didn't care. I couldn't care less. What I cared about was the huge-obviously-there scar I had along the length of my neck: and it didn't just look like one scar- it looked like a tree, each separate minute mark on my skin branching off in separate ways, pulsing red with fresh puss, deep and disgusting.

"You know, breaking a mirror costs you seven years bad luck…" Marla trailed off, getting up and scuffling over to the mess I had made, picking up the tiny little glass pieces and putting them in the front pocket of her apron.

"I don't care about fucking bad luck," I hissed at her, rolling my eyes. "I've had my fair share of it these past few years. I don't need any more."

"Maybe it's a sign…"

"A sign?" I snorted, folding my arms across my chest. "What could a broken mirror _possibly _mean?"

"Well…" she sighed, dusting imaginary motes off of her apron and moving back to sit on the couch with me, "now, I'm just pitching ideas here, but what if the mirror and the bad luck symbolise your pain: you're the broken mirror, and the bad luck is whatever masochistic shit you're throwing at yourself. I think the mirror is telling you _not _to hurt yourself anymore."

I stared at her, awestruck. She had definitely hit a sore, sore nerve. A bull's eye. Marla's words rang through me like a bell, an echo, and I couldn't get rid of them so easily. They bore into my mind, into the folds of my brain, making sure to never be forgotten easily.

"I'm right, aren't I?" she asked smugly, an aura of triumph suddenly surrounding the both of us.

"Yeah," I said, nodding slowly, "you _are _right."

She snapped her fingers in front of my face, smiling like a three year old. "I knew it!"

"You know _everything_…"

"_Most_ of the times," she corrected, pointing a stern finger at me and shaking it slowly. Then, she shook her head fervently, her long, trailing locks shaking past her shoulders. Her hair was _really _long… "So what did you come here to ask me, Leah, if not to learn about your history?" she inquired suddenly, folding her arms over her lap.

"I have some questions about… well, myself really," I admitted sheepishly, finally realising how selfish my motive sounded.

"About yourself?"

"Uh-uh."

"Well…" she started off, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply, "you're the daughter of Sue and Harry Clearwater-"

"Gee, I didn't know th-"

"Leah, if you interrupt me _one _more time, so help me!" she yelled, throwing her hands about her head in a manner that… _frightened_ me. The only people who had ever come close to scaring me were my mother and Jacob, so the fact that Marla's little outburst scared me was mostly a shocker. "_Anyway_," she continued, rolling her eyes, "you inherited the gene from your father-"

"See, that's why I came here. Why _did _I inherit the gene in the first place? Aren't wolves supposed to be like… all male or something? Because it sure seems like it since I'm the only freaking female in the pack!" I literally screamed into her face, balling my hands up into fists and not caring that I had interrupted her _yet again._

"Calm down."

"Why should I, Marla? Please tell me why because I'd really like to know. Do you think I enjoy sharing my thoughts with a couple of dim-witted, prepubescent morons? Do you think I _like _the idea that maybe I won't be able to have any kids because of the _stupid gene?_" I yelled, but I didn't have any effect on Marla. She remained there, motionless, watching me break down slowly. I had switched to bitchy mode all of a sudden, which in human talk would be the defensive: I turned bitchy when my situation or position could be threatened, and shit like that, and now seemed like the perfect example. Why me, of all the other women on the rez? Why not Rachel or Rebecca, direct descendants of Ephraim?

"I'm afraid I can't answer that one, or it just can't be me…"

"Why the _hell _not?" I screeched, pounding my fist against the table, eyes bulging in anger.

"Because…" she shrugged, moving her gaze away from mine. "The new healer will be chosen soon, and I think it would be best if she would tell you why. I might forget or mix up some of the facts."

"What?" I asked, sinking back into the sofa, my voice lowering a pitch in fear and frustration. _The new healer?_ And then, I truly looked at Marla, like really, really looked at her. She looked so… old. Her wrinkles were deep and her eyes were marred by huge, sagging black bags, that made her look truly ancient.

"I'm old, Leah. It's high time I choose a new healer who can keep the tradition alive and continue my work."

"And how are you going to choose her?" I asked, suddenly interested in this healer business, obviously for the sake of my own, personal reasons.

She shrugged. "I myself don't know who she is. But she's here, somewhere, and I'll meet her at some point. Then I'll know, I guess."

"But it could take years!" I countered, running my palms over my eyes trying to rub away the confusion.

"It could. It could take days, hours, minutes… I could meet her at any time."

"Well that's just great isn't it?" I said, getting off of the couch and moving towards the back door, with Marla hot on my heels.

"It is," she said, laughing out loud and placing her hand on the small of my back, lightly pushing me forward. "See you soon, Leah."

"You know I'll come back soon enough," I retorted with a smile as I twisted the door knob and opened up to the back yard, feeling the soft gusts of wind blow against me.

"That I do. Take care, Leah Clearwater."

"Bye," I yelled, running across the back yard and slipping my clothes off. I phased mid-stride and clutched my clothes in my mouth as I ran at a leisurely pace back to the Cullens' house. I couldn't keep away from the house anymore, no matter how much I fought against it.

The forest was quiet, and so were my thoughts as no other wolf was present with me, but I had to bite back my words soon enough, when I felt someone shimmer into wolf form at the edges of my conscience. I sifted through his thoughts, looking for Seth's familiar smile and Jacob's steady rhythm, but I found none.

_Hey, Leah, _Quil greeted sheepishly, and I screeched to a halt when I heard his voice. I hadn't been linked with Quil for a long time, and I had almost completely forgotten about him, until now.

_Hey…_ I said, unsure of the water I was about to tread on. Quil had been the one to help us and the Cullens when Sam had attempted his attack on us, so I was somewhat grateful to him.

_No problem! _he said brightly, but I cut him off.

_Don't flatter yourself. Care to explain how I can here your thoughts?_

_Yeah, about that… _he said slowly, and then, a flutter of memories filled my mind, vivid and still fresh.

'_Sam was there, and Paul and Embry and Collin and Brady and all the other pups in Sam's pack, scowling at me, at Quil. Sam moved towards me, arms crossed over his chest with a defiant look in his eyes, screaming murder and pure acidic rage. _

"_What did you do, Quil?" Sam's Alpha voice boomed, but I couldn't feel the sense of submission that usually came along with an Alpha command. Instead, I watched the shocked looks move over all the other wolves' faces as Quil stood up to his Alpha. He didn't move, flinch… nothing. And Sam was shocked, too. "What. Is. Going. On?" he demanded through gritted teeth._

"_I'm leaving, Sam. I don't belong to this pack anymore," and with that, Quil left, away from Sam and Paul and all the others, with a sense of pride coursing through him.'_

_You left? _I mentally yelled, and Quil winced at my harsh, biting words.

_I had no choice. Either that, or eternal damnation from Sam and his angels. _

I chuckled at his sarcasm and he relaxed as I did so, probably reassuring himself that I wasn't going to kill him. _You'll have to talk to Jacob, though, _I said, and he nodded.

_I know… I've always been kinda jealous of you're pack, you're so tight-knit and all… _He stopped as we approached the mouth of the forest, that bled onto the Cullens' vast land, close to Bella's cottage. Unsurprisingly, the house was empty, as it always was nowadays. Quil and I went our separate ways and I phased back, pulling on my clothes as I walked past the protection of the bushes. Quil smiled tentatively, the same smile I had always taken for granted, the one I hated most of the times…

"Leah?" a clear, deep voice boomed from across the little stream separating the houses. "What the hell is going on?"

We both looked up to see Jake's massive form, arms crossed, staring at the both of us intently.

"Quil left Sam's pack and he's come to join ours," I explained, gesturing to Quil, who simply nodded, looking at Jacob for the go-ahead. Jacob was, in turn, looking at me, watching me studiously, eyes boring into my face, as if looking to _me _for admission. Like I was the freaking Alpha or something.

"Well," Jacob said, finally, scratching the back of his neck whilst thinking things through, "you _did _help us back when Sam wanted to fight us, so we are, in actual fact, grateful to you. Are you sure you want to, though?"

Quil and Jacob stared at each other intently, until at last, Jacob nodded and Quil let out an exasperated sigh, relaxing his stance immediately and following us into the house. I watched as the stench of sickly sweet vampires reached Quil, but I saw no immediate change on his face, or any sign of discomfort. In truth, I had actually _wanted _him to be disgusted by the stench, to feel like I wasn't the only one who was really annoyed by the sweetness of it all.

All the vamps were inside, and I could easily pinpoint where they all were: Carlisle was in his study, obviously, and Edward and Bella with him, with Reneesme. Rosalie was downstairs with Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Esme, and unsurprisingly, Sam and Emily were still with them. I rolled my eyes, but I willed myself to keep going forward, to be strong.

As I breathed in, I caught a whiff of one of the strangest smells to _ever _grace my nostrils, and I had smelt many, _many_ scents. This new one was sweet, like the vampires, yet disgusting at the same time; like the smell that had surrounded me when Irina had attacked me… my brows scrunched up and I looked over to Jacob, but from the corner of my eye, I caught Seth moving towards us, from the mouth of the woods. He bounded over, with a huge smile on his face, his dark eyes bright. I watched him move towards us, but as he neared the house and reached us, the smile disappeared, his brows furrowed and he tilted his head up, sniffing the air.

"What the hell is that smell?" he asked, not beating around the bush about it. He crossed his arms and cocked his eyebrow up questioningly and I watched Quil and Jacob sniff, too, intrigued by it.

"It's… disgusting," Jacob said, glowering at the door, then pushing past it with all the force in his body. We followed, curious as ever. As I had predicted, Rosalie and Alice were in the living room discussing wedding materials with Emily. I winced as I realised that the time had come for Emily and Sam to get married and for me to get my closure, but I knew that a part of me wasn't ready yet.

"Hey," Alice beamed from the couch, before she flew off the couch and flitted towards us, nestling herself between Seth and Quil, smiling happily.

"Headaches?" Seth asked, and she nodded, which Quil seemed to understand immediately.

"Why now?" I asked. I had realised, over time, that Alice's headaches were always chain reaction to something that had gone wrong. Like Reneesme, for example.

Alice looked at me with her wide, butterscotch eyes. "Reneesme, again."

"Just tell her," Rosalie interjected, her words sharp, stinging and hurtful. Alice's gaze flowed back to her, her eyes narrowing and her face falling into a grim scowl. I twisted my head around, searching for Rosalie's face, and when I saw her, sitting rigidly next to Emily, I saw that she was glowering back at Alice, too. Emmett was on the love seat and Jasper on one of the arm chairs, watching the silent interaction between their wives.

Alice broke away first, turning back to us, and she us looking at her with confused expressions on our faces. She was so minute and small between Seth and Quil's towering forms, and yet, she looked strong, defiant. For a second though; her strong façade fell immediately, into the scowl it had been in originally.

"Reneesme's lost her power."


	17. Chapter 17

**So... it's been a while :D**

**As always, I don't own Twilight, but I _do _own an account on Fanfiction, and I guess thats close enough :)**

**Warning: Carlisle has a bit of a religious epiphany in this chapter, so if there are any of you guys who are not Catholic, I hope you're not offended ;)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 17

Carlisle Cullen

Of all the things I've ever been through, this is by far the worst ever.

As I watched my granddaughter sleeping in her crib, watched the wicked lines that stretched her skin tight over her bones, watched her bulging lifeless eyes licking the life out of her, heard her deep raspy breaths… well, let's just say things couldn't get any worse.

I know how hard it must be on Edward and Bella, heck, it's hard on everyone, but… they aren't so compassionate and open-minded to suggestions as I would've thought Edward to be. Bella was, still, one hundred percent against the herbal medicines we were using on Reneesme, but even so, the herbs were making no progress whatsoever. Reneesme remained the blind, little girl she been all along, and I think that that was what made Edward lose his composure.

He'd been keeping it in line for five weeks now, and I had never really expected him to keep it for so long. Edward is the type of person to keep things bottled inside, I guess because he hears and knows too much in the first place, but when we were sitting in the study, researching conjunctivitis _again_, he simply got up and smashed his chair against the wall, then left.

The pressure, obviously, is affecting everyone, and I can barely recognise my family anymore. The only people who give me an inkling of what the past had been like are Jacob, Leah and Seth, since they are here almost everyday, healing or not. And they want to help, which I am eternally grateful for. But still…

A doctor always has a motive in mind: if there is a patient to be healed, saved, then it _must _be healed and saved at all costs. To fail, is always a severe blow to the doctor's self-esteem, to his pride and to his self-accomplishment. It is never easy to balance the difference between family and profession, but when these two collide, it is unbearable. When Bella was pregnant with Reneesme, I had taken it upon myself to help Edward and his wife to get through with it, to save their child, but now, now that the child was with us… I didn't know what to do.

Reneesme was _my granddaughter_, and the fact that I could save everyone but her was hard to accept, maybe even unacceptable. Edward wouldn't accept that neither he could help her, and Bella was wallowing in guilt because she believes that she had caused Reneesme's disease, and unavoidable death.

I don't know if I should point a finger at myself. I don't know if it's my fault for not being able to help her, for not finding a cure, for _not trying hard enough._ Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Esme, Edward, Bella… they all expect me to make a miracle out of this disaster. But I can't, I simply can't.

And apart from trying to find the root of Reneesme's deteriorating state, I also have to juggle the potential outburst that could occur when the Denalis find out that the wolves have killed Irina. Jacob has assured me that he would personally go up to Alaska to apologise if that would ease my burden, but Alice on the other hand had also assured me that the Denalis didn't know yet.

My head fell into my hands and I shuddered.

"Carlisle, honey," my wife's soothing voice whispered as her fingers dug swiftly into the knots in my back, massaging away my nerves, "you shouldn't do this to yourself."

"Then tell me what I have to do, Esme! I have truly reached rock bottom, I have _no_ idea where to go from here. I-I…"

"It's not your fault, Carlisle. They'll understand. They have to. Reneesme is loved, and they had time with her, as little as that was. They had a _chance_, they should be grateful for that, at least."

I looked up into her wide, butterscotch eyes and saw the understanding deeply laced into them. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face into her chest, muffling my silent screams.

* * *

I stared at Edward blankly. I couldn't begin to fathom what he had just told me, and I blinked thoroughly, choosing my words properly. I couldn't recognise my son anymore: his dishevelled, manic persona was enough for me to realise that the Edward I loved had been buried deep beneath the surface of the new, protective Edward that had evolved before us.

"What?" I yelped finally, digging my fingers into the smooth surface of my desk. This was truly unbelievable.

"I can't hear your thoughts, Esme's, no one's! Everyone's thoughts just… disappeared," he explained, clutching his sides and exasperation and pain. "It's like I've gone deaf… I don't know what's going on, Carlisle!"

Suddenly, Alice and Jasper burst through the door, Alice's eyes wide and frantic, Jasper still and motionless, with his eyes drained of emotion.

"I can't see and Jasper can't feel!" Alice screeched, and at that, I slumped onto my chair and cradled my throbbing head in my hands.

Just a few days ago, Reneesme had lost her power: one moment she had been talking to Rosalie, and the next, she was gone, blank. The girl had curled in on herself after that, and she wasn't responding to anything, as if she was already a lifeless corpse. Now my children were losing theirs…. What was going on?

"Carlisle, ever since Reneesme lost _her _power, I've been having these hammering headaches, and no matter how much time I spent with the wolves, they never ceased. Could it have something to do with her?" Alice asked, uncertainty tainting her timid voice as she clutched Jasper's hand desperately. Jasper was staring at me, no, staring right _through_ me, as if he truly couldn't feel.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's fist collide with a wall, saw the plaster flaking to floor, saw his body settle gently on the wooded parquet, saw him curl around himself, and saw the whole world fall around him.

* * *

"Vampire venom," Leah suggested, as she fingered the chair's smooth covering. "Haven't you thought of that?"

Jacob was watching her, watching the ideas flicker through her eyes, and Seth was staring straight at me, watching the emotions flicker over _my _face. I nodded grimly. Unfortunately, we _had _thought of vampire venom as an alternative, but it didn't make any sense. Reneesme was already part vampire: the venom couldn't simply transform the half of her. And if her body was rejecting everything, then vampire venom was no exception. I had tried to reason it out with Bella, tried to explain to her that once the vampire side of Reneesme had built a barrier, keeping her away from the world, there was no chance of breaking it down, that vampire venom would only strengthen said barrier and kill her even quicker.

"We have. It won't work."

"Well, then there's nothing else that we can do, can we?" Seth whispered slowly, letting us absorb his words, so true and yet so… condemning.

"No, nothing else."

My eyes settled on Leah, so strong yet so easily breakable, and as I watched her face, I saw Reneesme, and how attached she had grown to her, how Reneesme's death would affect Leah. Would she mourn her like the rest of us? Leah was… unpredictable. She would do what she pleases.

Slowly, we filed out of my office, and we all went downstairs, where Edward and Bella and Reneesme were sitting on the couch, staring into the nothingness. The others were hunting, and Esme was in the kitchen cooking up a storm for the wolves. They branched off into the kitchen, eager smiles on their faces, whilst I went into the living room, and sat down on one of the arm chairs facing Bella and Edward.

Reneesme was sitting comfortably between her parents, wrapped in a blanket to keep her warm and cosy. She, too, was looking at one point… well, her face was tilted to one point as she sniffed the air around her. As I watched her, watched her do the only thing she _could _do to remain tied this world, I started ticking off the things she couldn't do: eat, speak, talk, see, drink, walk… Reneesme was a child, and Esme had said that Bella and Edward should be grateful for their time with her, but in truth, Bella and Edward would still miss the pleasures that come with seeing your child grow up. They wouldn't see her take her first steps, they wouldn't get to hear her learn about things and question others, they wouldn't get to see her laugh, cry, wouldn't get to hear her talk…

I watched Bella's face fall to look at her daughter, and I saw the pride that washed over her features, which was quickly replaced by guilt and sorrow. Edward reached a hand out and clutched his wife's over their daughter's lap, and I couldn't stand it any longer. I felt as if I was invading on their privacy, their little time left with her, and it didn't seem fair.

I left, as quickly as possible, but instead of joining Esme and the wolves in the kitchen, I walked out of the front and rounded the corner to the garage, jumped into my car, and drove off, hearing the car's engine work, a somewhat soothing notion. I didn't press on the gas, not at all. I drove at a leisurely pace, and watched the trees as I sped by Forks' scenery.

Forks has only one church, so I didn't have much choice, but nevertheless, I drove into the parking lot, and turned off the engine. As I sat in the car, hands still clasped firmly around the steering wheel, I thought back, approximately three hundred years ago, to the time when my father had preached to me about religion. I hadn't paid much attention back then, but now seemed like a good time to start.

Slowly, I got out of my car, locked it, thrust my hands into my pockets and walked towards the towering building that seemed anything but inviting. The church was Catholic, something that I hadn't been at the time of my transformation, but it seemed like a good substitute. After all, if believing in God was the key, then every religion was the same. I pushed against the door, and I was immediately greeted by the strong smell of incense that was wafting around in the inside of the church. I closed the door, warily moving forward and soaking in the confines of the church.

The side walls were entirely panelled by stained glass windows that gave the church an eerie sort of vibe and that filtered coloured light inside. I recognised the scenes from the Old Testament, and the New as I walked towards the benches. A recorded choir was singing hymns in the background and an old woman, hunched over herself, was saying the rosary silently. I watched the rosary bead sway between her shaky fingers, but her voice was clear and solid as I intruded on her prayers.

"… cause of our joy, joy of all who sorrow, life-giving spring, O Cleansing of sins, O Renewal of life…"

I listened to her for a few seconds, heard her profess her faith with such clarity that is astounded me, before I got up, and walked to the side of the church, searching for the confessionary. There had to be one somewhere. As I searched, I thought about the woman's words: "Renewal of life". I wasn't one to neglect that there was, indeed, a god, but as I had listened to her recite, I truly understood the meaning of her words.

Catholics believe that God is the source of all life and peace, and that Mary, the Blessed Virgin, is the mother of all children, adults and old people alike. She kept every one safe, in Her heart… but if she did, then why had she neglected my granddaughter? Of all the innocent children in the world, why mine? Was it because she was a vampire? Didn't we count to God and Mary?

A woman appeared before me, leaving a large wooden seat behind her and hurrying outside. I traced back her steps and arrived at the wooden seat, only to find the oldest priest I have ever seen. He was seated, and his ancient wrinkles drooped over his collar, his wide doe eyes watching me intently. I rounded the confessionary and kneeled, resting my elbows on a small wooden ledge before me. The priest opened the little wooden window and tilted his face to look at me.

He recited the sign of the cross, and nodded at me to proceed.

I gulped and closed my eyes, watching three hundred years worth flash before my eyes quickly. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…"

* * *

"Where have you been, Carlisle?"

Esme was waiting for me in the hallway, with a beautiful smile on her face. I had confessed to the priest, that I had neglected God for all my life, and he had listened to my patiently as I accounted for all the doubts I had had about faith.

She moved closer to me and sniffed, her smile disappearing slowly. "You smell of… incense," she commented finally, linking her arm through mine, "Did you go to church, by any chance?"

I nodded, a smile lighting up my face. I wasn't afraid to admit that I had, finally, been enlightened, and I was feeling happier than ever, and seeing everything in a very different light.

The priest had said something that had struck me. The Catholics believe that God keeps everyone's names etched into his palm, and he knows the fate and destiny of each being on the planet. They also believe that when a person dies at a young age, it is because God wants them to be with Him, to keep there innocence, sort of. It was easy to find down the throats of desperate parents whose children had died, but Edward and Bella weren't stupid, nor were they Catholics, so I couldn't simply try to feed them such ideas.

I felt guilty for being so happy and light, but then again, the aura that surrounded our house nowadays was enough to slowly dissipate such happiness and leave me the dug out, empty shell of a man I had been before.

"Rosalie!" Leah's voice screamed from upstairs, filling the whole house, tingling with emotions that had long but disappeared in this house. She stomped across the landing, ripping off pieces of clothing as she stalked by, a scowl settling onto her features.

"Aw, come on!" Rose said, walking to the head of the stairs, gathering the torn scraps as she walked by. "Spoil sport!" she said, beaming and descending the stairs slowly, rolling her eyes at Leah's immature demeanour.

"What's going on?" Seth asked, walking out of the kitchen with Jacob, also with a questioning look on his face.

"_Leah_ doesn't want to-"

"Want to what?" Leah yelled from the living room, and we all filed inside, watching the interaction between Rose and Leah, which was by far, the most interesting thing to happen in this house over the past few months. Jacob and Seth were snickering in the hallway, and Sam had once again found his way back onto the couch. He only had a few more days left until I removed all his casts and bandages, then he would be off, as good as gold. Leah heard him snicker, too, and just made her shoot one of the scariest scowls in his direction to silence him.

"Well, I thought you would help me try on some clothes…" Rosalie said with a tentative smile, "You know, to get my mind off of things…"

"So use me as your pawn?" Leah snapped, and that made Rosalie hiss at her, eyes narrowing.

"Whatever," she said, shrugging and rolling her eyes. My family was… unbelievable. They knew how to be truly depressed and guilty, but they also knew what would make them happy, even if for a just a few seconds. The relationship Leah and Rosalie had managed to produce through all this turmoil truly baffled me, as it had been the most unexpected thing ever to happen between the two. Leah and Rosalie were more different than they were alike, but still, they managed to hold a, somewhat, love-hate relationship that worked out for the both of them. As I watched this interaction between them, I could easily see the pain in Rosalie's eyes, in her every movement, but she kept it subdued, and still smiled, as if nothing was wrong…

As Jacob and Seth laughed, and Sam tried to hold back _his _laughter, and Leah scowled and Rosalie smirked, Esme and I watched all these different personalities unfold before us I realised that the one thing that had been keeping us as a family for so long, had been none other than the wolf pack, and all its members.

* * *

It was strange now, to smell Reneesme approaching. Her body had adopted a strange, new smell now, one that was disgusting, yet still sweet at the same time.

Bella brought her into the living room as Sam was getting dressed to go, with Emily by his side, beaming at me. She held onto his hand firmly, almost as if promising to never let him go, and he smiled down at her enthusiastically, happy that he was finally leaving our house.

"Nothing hurts, right Sam?" I asked for the millionth time, checking just to make sure that I had at least saved _someone _from this mess.

"Yeah, everything's okay," he reassured with the smile still plastered to his face and with a nod.

"Then, I guess, you're good to go," I said, pulling on a smile of my own as I watched them walk to our front door and step outside, Bella's eyes following them every step of the way, watching them like a hawk. Jared was waiting outside in his car, sitting impatiently in it, as he had refused to come inside, and Sam and Emily joined him. I stood on the porch and watched them leave our driveway, feeling a sense of accomplishment wash over me after such a long time. I hadn't felt so proud myself since… forever. I walked back inside, and Bella was still sitting on the couch, looking at the very spot from which I had entered.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked, suddenly worried about her state of trance, but she simply shook her head and stared down at her lap, the usual guilt washing over her features. I remembered a happy Bella, one full of life and reddened cheeks and an exciting pulse beating through her body, one that saw everything in a good light and one that had brought Edward out of his shell. But _that _Bella had disappeared, and Edward had crawled back into his shell, wallowing by himself, and slowly dragging us down with him.

"Come on, you can tell me," I coaxed as I settled down next to her, slowly nudging her shoulder until she looked up at me with her dead-tired butterscotch eyes.

She exhaled tiredly then lifted her hand up to her face and rubbed her eyes fiercely before she looked back up at me. "I don't know how I should feel, Carlisle. My daughter is on the verge of death and I can't do a damned thing to help her, to save her. Edward, Alice and Jasper… they've lost their powers and they're driving me insane. You _clearly _cannot find anything to help her, and Reneesme's dying, you know. It hurts to… it just plain _hurts._"

I nodded, watching the guilt wrap around her and closing her off from the rest of us. I had never seen Bella look so sad and… _empty._ It was as if I was just talking to a lifeless carcass of herself, rather than a Bella full of emotion and feelings.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered, squeezing her hand before I got off the couch and started making my way towards the study.

Had it not been for my enhanced hearing, I wouldn't have heard her whisper silently as I reached my study.

"You should be."

* * *

Leah Clearwater

I watched, quietly, as Carlisle gently massaged Marla's creams onto Reneesme's smooth skin, talking to her in soft whispers. I watched Reneesme smile at whatever her grandfather told her, and yet, every time she didn't respond, it hurt with a pang throughout my body.

I had grown used to her reaching her hand out to touch someone, to express herself, but now, all she did all day was listen to her annoying mother nag at her father, her aunt scream at everyone that she can't see, and all the different, crazy scenarios that were always going on in the Cullens' house, at some point. I should've gotten used to all of this shit by now, but no, every time, it just shocked me even more.

"How am I supposed to keep tabs on the Denalis if I can't see?" Alice was arguing for the millionth time, shaking her fists around in the air.

Jacob wiped a hand over his eyes in obvious irritation. "We got your point, Alice, you don't have to keep on reminding us…"

"I thought you'd be interested in knowing that Leah here could be in potential danger-"

"The Denalis don't know that Irina had been after Leah-"

"Scratch that: I thought you'd be interested if your pack and the people on your rez were at stake," she corrected sternly, glaring at an irritated Jacob, sitting across from her on the couch.

"Oh, joy," he snorted sarcastically, folding his huge arms across his chest and looking at Alice defiantly.

"I'd take precautions if I were you…you know, now that I'm not looking out for you…" she suggested, and I knew she had a point. We had depended on Alice's visions to make sure that the Denalis weren't on to us. Hadn't it not been for Alice's visions, we would have been patrolling the areas, as we had done before.

"I'll talk to Sam," Jacob stated finally, nodding mostly to himself and staring off, into the distance. I curled my legs underneath me, and my gaze drifted off to a quiet Seth, sitting on the floor next to Jacob's legs and staring at Reneesme, who was swaying on the love seat with sleep.

"She's just like Claire," he whispered finally, and I caught Alice closing her eyes slowly, nodding in resignation.

"If only she were, Seth, if only she were…"

* * *

"Double patrols? Why?" Sam demanded, eyes wide and curious. His hands were splayed over the polished table, a silent Emily by his side with a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Because Alice has lost her visions and we'd best be prepared of the Denalis find out about us killing Irina. They'll come here for sure if they find out, and if we're caught off-guard… they'll kick our asses halfway across the Atlantic."

Sam glared at him, uncertainty tainting his features, before he nodded slowly and pulled out a chair, settling down on it and folding his arms over the table, looking at Jacob expectantly.

"Is that all?" he asked, cocking up an eyebrow in question.

I was standing beside Jacob, watching everything unfold before me, and also trying to avoid Emily's penetrating stare. She made me feel… guilty all over, even though she was the one to blame. My grip on Jacob's chair steeled, and I tried to calm myself down before I broke the wood or something.

"What did you do to Quil, Sam?" Jacob asked quickly, evenly. "Why did he come to us?"

Sam didn't hesitate, didn't stop to think about his answer. "He betrayed us. The day we had planned to attack the Cullens… he bailed and informed the leeches of what we planned to do, basically screwing us. I couldn't take him back after that. He'd turned against us, and we couldn't trust in him anymore. Keeping him in the pack was no longer an option for us."

Jacob nodded in understanding, but Sam didn't seem half finished. His mouth was half-open, a look of expectancy written all over his face.

"What, Sam?"

He gulped, running a hand through his hair. "Jacob, please don't judge me over this." At that, Emily settled down next to Sam, clutching his hand and holding it tightly. "The Elders don't agree of us having two packs on one rez, and… let's face it, it all boils down to the fact that you are the rightful Alpha."

I didn't know where Sam was going with this, but when I looked over to them, Emily was still staring at me, so I averted my gaze back to a pot of flowers growing in the front window. I was merely listening, and I would not let my emotions betray me, at least not in front of them.

"Emily and I… we've decided it's time. Time, to get married."

And that, that was the final blow. In truth, it was the one I had been expecting, but I had never expected it to be so painful, any ways.

"Now?"

"Well, I've decided to denounce my title as Alpha so that you can take me place as Alpha for both packs-"

"Goddammit, Sam! You're fucking me up, seriously!" Jacob screamed, pushing away from the table and standing up, menace rolling off of his form in waves. "I never wanted to be the damn Alpha!"

"Jacob, seriously calm down. I couldn't keep putting it off. I have to stop phasing or else Emily will get too ahead of me."

"Well that's just great now, isn't it?" Jacob yelled, kicking the chair and storming out of the room, opening the front door and letting it bounce off of the wall in rage. I followed him outside like a lost, little puppy, happy that at least someone had stood up to Sam and his selfish ways.

"Jake!" I yelled, sprinting to catch up with his long strides. As I reached him, I managed to curl my fingers around arm, stopping him just enough for me to step around to stand in front of him. "Calm down! Jesus…. Sam screws everyone around here, Jake, you should've gotten used to that…"

"Yeah," he shrugged, only minutely calming down, "but he sure as hell is not gonna screw me."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Leah Clearwater

"Jacob Black, as rightful Alpha, it is your duty to accept this honour, and this position," Old Quil boomed, a stern look crossing his usually placid features. I was sitting next to Jacob and Seth was seated on his other side, wringing his hands together over and over. The kid looked even more nervous than Jacob…

We had been called for a hearing, which ever so conveniently had been held the day after Sam had announced his withdrawal from the pack. Jacob had informed his father that he wouldn't accept the role as Alpha of both packs, which I could understand, as no one would want to be Alpha to Paul Merav, especially Jacob with the whole sister-imprint-Paul thing.

"But I have every right _not_ to accept the role," Jacob argued, but I immediately saw my mother shake her head.

"Jacob, as the direct descendant of Ephraim, you must be Alpha. If not you, then you else?" my mother asked, trying to reason it out for Jacob, but he was determined that he was not going to be Alpha of such a big pack.

Sam was sitting next to Seth, eyes darting from Jacob to Old Quil and back. I had never expected Sam to stoop so low, and the fact that he was ready to give up his position and his phasing for Emily… well, that just freaking struck my core. It hurt to think and to know that I didn't mean much more to him, just another pack brother, be it a female one.

"Jacob!" Billy's low voice said softly, resonating around us. I shuddered, feeling the weight of Billy's simple uttering weigh heavy on my shoulders. Jake, however, remained completely unaffected. "How dare you refuse this?"

"Because _I don't freaking want this!_ None of us do! And yet, you're going to let Sam prance off into the sunset, leaving the rest of us in deep shit? No way!"

"You left too, Jacob, when my rules weren't convenient enough for you!" Sam interjected, but he was soon silenced by my mother, who shot him one of those shut-up-now-or-I'll-kill-you stares.

Jacob groaned in frustration next to me, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably, his eyes boring holes into his stoic father. Billy was staring at Jacob, hands neatly crossed over his lap, and his mouth set in a firm, tight line. I didn't realise what was going on between them until Jacob got up and left the room in one swift movement, running off into the woods. I stared after Jacob, and Seth too, and when we looked back at the Elders, I caught Billy nodding serenely.

"He's accepted. He's taking on the role," and with that, a look of utmost relief washed over Sam and Old Quil's faces. I looked at Billy with a cocked brow, confused as to what had happened, but he simply shrugged and waved me off dismissively. Seth was tugging on my shoulder, pleading with me to leave before I got madly out of control or something, so I followed him outside, the same way Jake had went.

"It's so not like Jacob to just give in like that," I whispered as we walked into the woods, side by side in the dark. The moon was out, touching almost everything at the surface with pale tones, dappling them with the barest colour.

"I know, right? I guess the Alpha thing runs through their veins, you know, Jake like has to submit to his dad cause he's, like, superior or something. It makes sense, you know. But still, I'd gotten used to it being just us. I could patrol alone and think about whatever I wanted to… now there's gonna be a dozen other people in my head, all freaking day long."

"Still…" I trailed off, my eyes scouring the empty forest for any suspicious movement. When there was nothing that worried me, except for the fresh scents of the two patrolling wolves and Jacob, I turned back to my full attention to Seth.

Talking to my baby brother was like an escape, like a drug. He numbed me, making me forget all the horrible emotions that flooded through my veins and such. The anger and passionate rage that I had expected to feel once Sam and Emily announced their engagement and wedding, were not as dominant as I would've thought them to be. Maybe it was because I was with Seth and not alone, maybe it was because I didn't care anymore, but whatever the case, I didn't feel like… me. Like Leah Clearwater. And I certainly did not like this notion, because it was truly scary.

It was almost automatic nowadays, walking the path that led to the Cullens' house. I no longer detested the place that had been saving my life so many times on end. Even though I wasn't hundred percent happy with all the Cullens, didn't necessarily mean that they were all bad. I was caught between happy-go-lucky Jake and Seth, and Sam, Paul and the rest of the pack. The familiar trees, the oaks, the pines, the shrubs… everything held that mark of a sanctuary, a place where I could express myself freely without being afraid for my life. I had truly reached that point, in me.

Seth was silent beside me, mulling over something in his head and he looked like he was thinking about it thoroughly. I didn't want to ask. That entailed having to understand my brother's twisted ways, so I kept my mouth shut as we neared the Cullens mansion. Dim lights flooded through the dollhouse-windows, lean figures moved swiftly inside, and muffled voices whispered frantically.

A twig snapped behind us, and I found myself swinging my right hook around and punching Quil dead on his cheek. He reeled backwards, cradling his jaw in his palm and looking at me in disbelief.

"Are you _freaking insane_?" he screamed, getting back up and cracking the bones in his back into place. He tilted his head away from us and spit out the blood which had pooled in his mouth.

I was still in shock. "S-sorry… kind of acted on impulse back there," I said with a hesitant smirk, scratching the back of my neck nervously. Quil glared at me for a few seconds before he smiled, that comforting smile that only Quil could muster.

"It's okay, Lee, just be careful who you hit next time… no use wasting a perfectly good right hook, huh?" he said, slinging his arm casually over my shoulder and grinning down at me. Seth rolled his eyes next to me, but smiled nevertheless before we kept making our way back up to the house.

"I was with Claire just now," Quil said finally.

"You don't say." I said sarcastically, running over the odds of Quil _not_ being with Claire in my head and laughing at the probable results.

"Don't try to be smart with me, Clearwater," he warned in what he probably thought was a menacing tone, "and as I was saying… she asked about you today. Said she misses you. Apparently it's been a while since you last visited her…?" he trailed off, a questioning look painted all over his features.

And at that, I couldn't help the guilt that washed all through me. Quil had just brought to mind the fact that I hadn't been to see Claire since Reneesme was born, and I had been too entranced by this dying, little creatures to even have thoughts about anyone, let alone Claire. And for the first time in my life, I truly realised what the others meant when they called me a bitch. If I had the heart to neglect a little four year old, what kind of person was I?

"I'll visit her tomorrow, I promise," I said softly, nodding to myself to confirm what I had just said.

"She just misses you, Lee…"

"I know."

-:-

"You'd best stay out here," Alice said, closing the back door behind her and walking us over to the garden furniture set up in the back yard.

"Why?" Seth asked, plopping down onto one of the chez lounges and stretching with a yawn.

"Reneesme, well…. She just got worse. And everyone in there has just about had it," Alice sighed, staring off into the forest.

"Worse implies what, exactly?" I asked, confused. Even Quil seemed confused and entranced by what was going on.

"Carlisle tried to attach her to a CPAP machine, to help her breathe, and surprisingly, it worked. But the fact that she can't breathe on her own anymore…" she trailed off, and the air around us was filled with her silent sobs and shuddering body, outlined against the moon's bright light.

"Where's Jake?" Quil asked but Alice simply shrugged.

"He's supposed to be comforting Bella but she doesn't want him with her. That's why I told you to stay out here… if she'd seen you in there, she'd have blown a gasket," Alice explained with a grim chuckle, "and, of course, I can't stand being in there because of my bloody headaches…"

"So… will we be able to see her?" I asked slowly, watching out for any unexpected emotions or outbursts coming from inside the house.

"I suppose they'll let you… but just you guys. I don't think they'll like Quil there," she said, her sad face wandering over to Quil, whose shocked expression was more comical than sad.

I sighed and sat up on the chez lounge, reaching out for Quil's hand and clutching it in mine, squeezing it gently. "Go home, Quil, go to Claire."

He nodded slowly, taking his hand out of my firm grip and running off into the forest. I watched him for a few seconds before I looked back at Alice, who was looking straight at me.

"What?"

She shrugged, wrapping her marble arms around her middle and staring at the ground. "You did a good thing, Leah Clearwater," she said finally, nodding mostly to herself.

"No one wants to see a child die, Alice," Seth answered for me bluntly, his voice rough and husky, like a knife slicing through the silence of the night. Nevertheless, Seth got up and started making his way towards the back door, contradicting himself.

"Do… you want to see her?" Alice asked as Seth closed the door after him, entering the silent chaos that lay behind the door.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, feeling the soft tendrils of the cool, night breeze brush over my skin. "No," I whispered softly, and I knew that she understood.

-:-

I spent the night outside, poised on the chez lounge with a silent Alice by my side, not uttering a single word. I was busy listening in on what was going on inside, and so was Alice. She, too, had agreed that she didn't want to see Reneesme, especially in such a bad state and so, she was staying next to me, to keep me company, in a way.

"It's hard, you know. Watching a person die," she said softly, eyes closed and her lips set in a firm line.

"It's harder knowing that it was all your fault," I countered softly as well, curling my fingers around the arm rest and trying, desperately, not to break it. "Like with my dad."

"Is that… is that why you don't want to see her?" she asked hesitantly, and when I opened my eyes I saw her looking at me blatantly. I nodded slowly, letting all the horrid memories of my father, lying motionless on the living room floor with my mother weeping by his side come to mind.

"Two terrible memories are enough."

"Two?" she asked, curious.

I nodded. "My dad's and…Sarah Black's. I was only a little girl when she died, but I remember spending days on end at Jake's house with my mom and a baby Seth, trying to help Billy cope. Rachel and Rebecca were my age, and I remember them… you know, going through it all. It's hard, extremely hard."

Alice remained silent for a few seconds, going over what I had just said. I closed my eyes again, watching the stars dance from beneath my eyelids. I heard her sigh against the night, and a little commotion from inside ensued, but she didn't take any notice of it, and started talking again.

"I watched my sister die. She died a couple of decades ago. I was already a vampire, and… when I saw a vision of her on her death bed… I just couldn't lose the one thing that kept me tied to my family. She was so weak, and old… I spent the whole night sitting outside her window and it was… it was as if she knew I was there… I waited until she died in her sleep, until her heart stopped beating and her blood froze in her veins. I went to her funeral and watched her being lowered… so I do know what it feels like to lose someone; hell, we've all lost someone over the years… we just haven't to cope yet."

I listened to her confess the truth, and I realised that none of the vamps had had it easy, except for Bella… her nightmare was still in the making.

"You still can't see?" I asked hesitantly, opening my eyes again and sitting up on the chez lounge, to keep the sleep from my eyes.

She nodded, a grim look crossing his features. "And Edward can't hear, and Jasper can't feel… it all ties to Nessie, you know. It's because of her that we've lost our powers… her deterioration, in some twisted way, affects us too."

"I see," I said softly, looking past her slender form, into the trees, where there was nothing and nothing was wrong. Inside, everything was quiet, apart from the CPAP's frequent beeps and a resigned sigh echoing throughout the house.

A rustling of trees from the mouth of the woods caused Alice and I to whip our heads around in the direction of the sound. A huge, hulking figure approached, but I remained calm. I'd notice that butterfly feeling anywhere. I was confused, though. Alice had told us that Jacob was inside, with Bella, and now, he was here, with us? I looked on as he walked towards a vacant chair and settled down on it, yawning in the process.

"Weren't you supposed to be inside?" Alice asked finally, breaking the silence.

"I can't stay in there and watch her die," he explained finally and I smirked grimly.

"Join the club," Alice chimed, covering her mouth and eyeing the both of us from her peripheral vision. She lifted her fingers to her temples and gently stroked her forehead. "Ah, that's better," she said, sounding somewhat relieved.

"Glad to be of a service," I said sarcastically, but however much I tried, I still couldn't manage a smile. These weren't times for smile, after all. "Where were you, Jake?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, uh… just wandering around…" he explained, knotting his figures together over his lap and looking down at his hands with furrowed brows.

"I'm going to pretend like I believed that," Alice said softly and I chuckled. Jake's shot at being believable had failed epically.

"Is is that bad, Jake?" Alice asked suddenly, her voice clear and even, sure on every consonant and vowel.

"Yeah," he said, eyes closing softly, his head lolling back, resting against the rough material of the chair, "and it's gonna get worse."

-:-

Jake had been right, it was getting worse.

We'd spent the whole night outside with Alice, talking about random stuff and trying to distract each other from what was going on inside. In truth, the silence that they managed to hold up was truly baffling, but it was scary, because the lack of sound seemed to amplify each of Reneesme's strained breaths, like a hoarse woman, barely able to breathe.

The sun was rising now, painting the sky with beautiful tones of red, yellow, pink and blue. I always liked the sky when it was like a palette, colourful and different. As I sat and watched in wonder, I couldn't help but think if this sunrise was going to be Reneesme's last one. Jake was snoring heavily beside me and Alice was too entranced in her own thoughts to notice me staring at Jacob. I couldn't help it and sometimes I wished I didn't have the constant feeling inside me to be with him. But it was there, and I couldn't deny it. Seth was still inside, and he hadn't been out yet. I had figured as much; he wasn't the type of guy to bail just like that. He'd stick around for Edward and Bella… that he would.

I could smell him from inside and I could tell that he was in the same room as Reneesme, her sickly-sweet scent overpowering almost everything. I had never, in all my life, imagined that I would end up here: on the verge of mourning a half-vampire, half-human child's upcoming death. The mother within me simply yearned to be let free, to wrap her arms around a child and feel its warmth, it's chubby little fingers… I shook those thoughts aside, forcing myself _not_ to think about them, but try as I might… they still came back to me, these haunting thoughts.

A door opened and closed somewhere behind us, and soon enough, we were joined by Emmett and Jasper's daunting forms, who immediately found their places opposite Alice and I. Jacob was now sitting upright, somewhat alert, watching Jasper's face intently.

"What's wrong, Jazz?" Alice asked softly, reaching her hand out to meet his halfway. They remained with their hands joined for a few minutes, looking into each other's eyes intently, before Jasper looking over at Jacob, a grim expression crossing over his face.

"It was just a little too crowded in there…"

"Headaches, too?" Jacob asked, and to my surprise, both Jasper _and _Emmett nodded.

"Everyone's gotten them now… it's Reneesme's scent; it's just too overpowering," Emmett explained, folding his huge arms over his lap and looking at all of us with dead eyes. "And everyone in there's just half about lost it…"

"No remedy?" Alice asked desperately, for what sounded to be the final time.

And with that same aura of finality, Jasper nodded grimly. "No remedy." his smooth voice spoke, like velvet slipping through my fingers.

Alice leaned back against the chair, lifting her arms up and covering her eyes with them, blocking out the sun which had now risen. Wherever her skin escaped the confines of her clothing, Alice sparkled like millions of little diamonds, and I couldn't help but watch her in awe. I'd finally reach the conclusion that they had all given up, that there was truly no hope, and as I heard Reneesme struggled to breathe again and again, I prayed to God to take her pain away.

-:-

_It's going to happen soon_, Jacob stated finally, after we'd been running around the woods for hours one end, in dead silence.

_I know, Jacob, and quite frankly, the sooner she closes her eyes for good, the better. She's in so much pain…_

_I know, Lee, she didn't deserve this, no matter how much you hate her mother._

Just the feeling of the way the speed stretched and cracked my bones was enough to keep me sated for a lifetime. The way the sunlight filtered and caught in everything: in Jake's fur, in his eyes… I snapped out of my thoughts immediately, afraid for my dignity, but thankfully, he wasn't fully aware of my thoughts. He was more intent on the two small cubs patrolling the parameter, and as I followed his line of thought, I realised that, even though I could hear their thoughts, they were still very vague. This was what was worrying Jacob and he had every reason to be so. These two little cubs, Ethan and Adam, were part of our large pack now, so we should've had the same connection with them as we ha between us. I could hear Jake's thoughts crystal clear, but their's…. were like I was looking through a dirty glass, trying to see through.

_What the hell is going on? _I yelped and Jake's huge, russet head turned around to stare at me.

_I think she's gotten to us, too,_ he contemplated, pawing at the dirt at his feet, and I watched his thoughts for a few seconds.

_It makes sense_, I whispered finally admitting to myself that if she's gotten to us, then she was nearing the end.

_Stop being so bitter, Lee, _he nagged, but I didn't take much notice of him. My mind had wandered elsewhere, to something that had been tugging at my conscience since Quil had told me that Claire wanted to see me. Would it be selfish of me to want to see Claire whilst Reneesme was dying?

_No, it won't,_ Jacob thought softly, and I looked over at his galloping form, dashing through the underbrush. He was looking at me from the side, but nevertheless, his eyes still had that powerful hold on me. _Trust me, you should go if you feel the need to. At least, some one of us needs to be in a good state of mind. Go, Lee, you should._

And that was all I needed. With a brief nod of his head. Jake and I crossed paths, with me running towards La Push and him running back to the house. The guilt was still somewhere there, in my body, but it wasn't that powerful now. Reneesme was dear to me, she was a child after all, but the child I was going to meant even more to me, and I wanted to hold her close, to make sure that I would never lose her like I was going to lose Reneesme. I dodged various different pines and oaks, taking in very little as I went along, moving closer to my wanted destination each time.

As the houses came into view, and Jake was almost at the house, I caught his attention for one final time.

_Kiss her goodbye for me, Jake. Tell her that I love her, please_, and when he nodded, and shimmered away from my conscience, I focused my thoughts on getting to Claire's house. I simply followed Quil's scent, still fresh from the previous night, dancing swiftly around the many things that lay cluttered on the forest floor.

I moved slowly around the mouth of the woods, under the cover of the trees for quite some time, until I picked Claire's scent, and Quil's, way down on First Beach. I phased as I was still in the woods and pulled on my clothes before I started jogging down to the beach, retracing back a path I had followed so many times, so many years ago. I hadn't been to First Beach in a while, and it was good to know that I was going back, to feel the soft sand beneath my toes and the curling waves at my feet. The weather was fairly nice, for La Push, and the sun was coming out from behind the clouds often, speckling the whole of La Push with some life.

"Hey, Quil!" I yelled, half breathless as I reached the beach. Two close figures were sitting next to the sea, piling san in the form of a dainty little castle and as my call reached them, a tiny face looked up, and smiled immediately.

"Aunt Leaaaaaaaaah!" Claire screeched, as she scrambled to her feet and ran towards me, her little dress flying past her body. I jogged up to meet her, and opened my arms for her as she neared close. She fell into my arms soon after, as I had expected, burying her face at the crook of my neck and sighing happily. Quil was also walking towards us now, a confused look crossing his features when he truly realised that I was there, on the beach.

"Hey, Claire-bear," I whispered as she pulled back, a beautiful smile gracing her pretty little face. "I haven't seen you in so long, and I'm so sorry!" I explained, but she just shrugged and reached for my hand, pulling me along with her to where her lopsided sandcastle was waiting to be rearranged.

"Look at my castle, Aunt Leah!" she said, pointing down at it, before she knelt down beside it and started patting the sand on the top and smoothing it down.

Quil was still staring at me pointedly, so I looked over at him and decided to explain. "You said Claire missed me, so I decided to come over for her-"

"What about Reneesme?"

My gaze fell immediately at the mention of he name. Although most of the guilt had dissipated, it hadn't completely disappeared, and some of it was still there. "She's going to die real soon, Quil, I wasn't prepared to be there for her…"

He looked at me empathically for a few seconds before he nodded and looped his huge arm around my shoulders, dragging me down onto the sand with him and turning back to Claire, explaining to me the dynamics of castle-building.

-:-

A soft giggle rose from between us, and I looked down to see Claire laughing at a snoring Quil, whose head had lolled severely to the side.

"He's funny, no?" I asked, clutching her tiny hand and drawing little designs over her skin. She giggled harder as I tickled under her arms, before she slid her hands around my waist and rested her head against my arm with a sigh.

"I love you, Aunt Leah," she whispered, finally, and I watched as her eyes closed slowly and, with a yawn, her head fell onto my lap. Quil was still conked out, so I decided not to wake him and, instead, I lifted Claire onto my lap and made a sort of cocoon with my body around her. I watched her sleep, a peaceful little being amidst a world of danger and fantasy, so fragile yet so strong. The mother within me reached her hands out to caress her cheek, and with a sigh, I settled down to sleep myself.

-:-

I woke with a start.

The lone wolf's howl was like nothing I had ever heard before. It was distraught, and strangled, like someone was choking on the very sound. On instinct, I had woken up to the sound, alert and ready for anything, but by reason I had not moved an inch, for I knew that the howl was no call for help. Quil was up too, staring out the window in the direction the howl had come from. He, too, seemed to realise that nothing had actually happened.

But as I truly realised what the howl meant, I couldn't help but to wrap my arms tighter around Claire's form, vowing to never let her go, like I had with Reneesme.


	19. Chapter 19

**This one's a shorty :)**

**I hope you like it... Obviously, I don't own Twilight or any of the characters mentioned here :D**

* * *

Chapter 19

Leah Clearwater

"It's funny how feelings change. I can tell, from personal experience, that emotions are the most brutal battle anyone's ever going to face.

"It started out with me hating your guts out. With me being a werewolf and you being vampires and all, it seemed kind of impossible for me to like you, or respect you for that matter. I still don't go so well with most of you here, but I've finally accepted you, and I hope you've accepted me, too. Because over the past few months, I've changed. You've changed, and we've all changed. For the better I hope. When Jacob came and told me that Bella was pregnant, I was utterly repulsed by the idea, and I'm not going to mind confessing this to you, because you already know. I was jealous, because I would never get to have a child, and so the anger and rage took over and I was literally blinded by it.

"But when Jacob told me that something was wrong with the baby... I couldn't help myself. Each woman has felt that _pull_ towards a child, be it her's or not. Compassion, endless worry, responsibility... all of these are the factors of being a mother, and a woman learns to appreciate all of them. Reneesme Cullen was not my child, nor would she ever be, but when I first saw her, so young and helpless and... _beautiful_, I couldn't help the mother inside me. She grew inside me so quickly that it frightened me, and in a split second, I was holding a young vampire child in my arms, listening to her thoughts and trying to understand everything in her way.

"I remember when Carlisle explained her disease, and I remember how broken everybody looked at the news. At that point, the family started breaking away. Each member went off on his on her own, because the guilt that was riding on everyone was impeccable. And scary beyond belief. And to top it all off, our pack was also going through a tough time. No one could stay strong at that time, but eventually, the traits of each Cullen started to become apparent. The family was drawn together in a desperate attempt to save the child that was so intriguing, that I couldn't stay away from her anymore.

"Gone were the hesitation and the hatred that used to run like a powerful river between the two races... like I said, the mother inside me wanted to hold Reneesme, because after all, she was still a child, and she needed to be loved.

"Family. Family is key. In La Push, our tribe literally worships family ties, and maybe that is why we take them so for granted. When there is grief, everyone grieves. When there is happiness, everyone celebrates. When there is new life, everyone is congratulated. When there is love, it is nourished and respected, given no boundaries, no limits. Maybe that was what I wanted for Reneesme. Maybe, subconsciously, I wanted to give the child whatever piece of me I could. I don't know.

"When she got worse, I didn't know what to think, nor what to do. I spent days on end thinking of my father, Harry, and my mother, and Sarah Black... People so young, that were taken away from us so quickly. It was hard to think of them, let alone to put poor Reneesme in their position. Everyone else was determined to help, but they all knew that there wasn't any hope left.

"I remember a few nights ago. I had felt so weak, so helpless... and so guilty. I had ran away from the house, from the terrors that were wrapped skin tight around everyone in here, to La Push, where I found solace in another child, a healthy one. One protected and loved beyond belief. I was filled with unbelievable, inconsolable shame but nevertheless, I held on tight to the little ounce of normality, even if just for a few seconds. I should have been here, with Reneesme, holding her hand, promising her everything in the world. B-but... I was too much of a coward to face her.

"I hope she forgives me for not being there for her when she needed me the most; it made me feel like I'd used her, like a tool, that I'd been there for her when it was conventional for me only. I remember during that night, either Seth or Jacob had announced some bad news through a howl, and even though it is my duty to respond to such warnings, I hadn't budged that night. Maybe I had known what the howl meant, and I had been too absorbed in the tiny child in my arms to even move. And I admit, I'm ashamed to say this, that I hadn't even thought to move, but let's face it: I knew I wouldn't be able to hold up... I wouldn't have been much use to her. But I guess, once I say it out loud, it doesn't sound so reasonable, or it doesn't justify my actions.

"I only hope that _you,_ her family, can forgive me. Because when I left Claire and made my way up to the Cullens' house, I instantly regretted my choices. Reneesme was a beautiful child, no one could dismiss that, and she was intelligent and compassionate. I may not have liked most of her family, but she... she was something special. She gave me a chance to feel things I thought I would never feel. It hurts to use the past tense, because I'm so used to speaking of her as if she's still here.

"Carlisle told me something, a few days ago. He had visited Forks' church and he bore a new idea in mind. He told me that Catholics believe that God takes children away from us because He doesn't want to ruin their innocence: He wants it to be everlasting. Now, I know that neither one of us here is Catholic, so maybe it doesn't mean much, but it's a nice notion to keep in mind, to know that little Reneesme will always be like that—pure and innocent.

"She was... quiet, but still, her presence seemed to scream at someone—anyone—who had the privilege to meet her. Even though she could not see, she imagined things; she had vague images of each family member in her mind, which she used to communicate. She had a pretty smile, one that lit up her mother's face, and everyone else's for that matter, and she was... Reneesme. She was herself, and she couldn't have been better.

"I've never given one of these funeral speeches before, so forgive me if this is no good. But I'm proud to say that I've tried my best to give you a good thing to remember Reneesme by. Maybe you wouldn't have wanted to hear it from me, but I felt the need to do it myself. This is my goodbye to Reneesme... she will surely be remembered by us all, for giving each of us something to live for, for however brief a time."

I stepped down, clutching the stack of papers, scrawled over with words, in my hands; head bent at each sob that reached me from the small crowd sitting before me. I walked over to where she was, lying peacefully with her tiny, chubby hands crossed gracefully over her legs, her face smiling, her hair in pretty bronze ringlets that would have made her father proud. I looked over at Edward at this thought, and I caught him smiling for a few seconds, nodding to himself, and holding his wife to him. I turned back, watching carefully where I stepped, making sure not to fall over my own feet.

I took in all the different scents as I made my way to Reneesme: Jacob's, Seth's, Sam's, Emily's, Quil's, Carlisle's, Esme's, Emmett's, Rosalie's, Alice's, Jasper's, Edward's and Bella's. There were only a handful of people who were ready, or had been invited, to say goodbye to Reneesme for one final time. It had been a week since her death, because Bella and Edward couldn't bear to see her being lowered, but by the end of the week, Carlisle had managed to convince them that keeping her body with them was not going to justify anything. So here we all were, outside, in the cold—the wind whipping our hair about our heads, brushing over our faces and gently touching Reneesme's face.

The coffin was red and small: something perfectly suitable for her, something elegant and graceful, yet colourful, like her thoughts had been. It was decorated with hand-carved flowers and leafs, done especially by Jasper and Alice in their free time over the weak. Alice had told me that it had been a sort of release for them, a way to vent their grief, but no matter how much everyone tried, their were still tied to a few nights prior, when I wasn't there.

I remember the day I had grown the balls to go over to their house. I remember the silent chaos, the guilt and sorrow and grief that had washed over and wrapped around me as soon as I had entered. I remember the smell of death that had invaded my nostrils so quickly and so seemingly happy... I went back to that night: with Edward cradling Bella, who in turn was cradling Reneesme's lifeless body, with her head lolling over her arm. It had taken me quite a long time to finally regain my thoughts and to start thinking clearly.

The coffin was lined with smooth satin around the edges, that Esme had sown herself, and at the spot just below her ear, Rosalie had delicately stitched _"Remembered always, Reneesme Cullen,"_ in a darker shade of red. Emmett had set out to find the perfect tombstone with Seth, and they had engraved it together. It now stood beside the hole that Quil had helped dig up, ready to seal the death of Reneesme Cullen.

But even though the coffin was beautiful, the person that lay inside was even more so. I no longer cared for the fact that she was a vampire; heck, she could have been a half mutant baby! As long as she had been a child, it wouldn't have mattered. Her hair was brushed, her sleek curls glistening in the sunlight. Her eyes were closed, no longer the bulging objects of her death—the swelling had died down, substantially, over the week. Her skin was smooth, and it showed the colours of the inside of a pearl. She was dressed up in the most gorgeous, Scottish-plaid pinafore, stretched smooth over her body, and her legs were wrapped up in silk, black tights and tiny red ballerina shoes.

I reached a tentative hand out to gently stroke her cheek. She was so pretty... "Good bye, Reneesme..." I whispered, before I reached my free hand into my coat pocket and pulled out a little doll I had stitched myself. I was quite proud of it: I had tried to make her in the likeness of Reneesme; with little string curls and a patchwork dress and face. I had sown on buttons for eyes, and I had stitched her face up into a smile. She was limp and lifeless, but nevertheless, I wanted to give her something, a piece of me. I slowly placed the doll at her feet, lying on her back and also facing the sun, the same position Reneesme was in. I looked from one to the other, before I stepped down and away from the coffin, back to where I had been sitting next to Seth and Jacob.

After everyone had said their goodbyes, and they were all seated in their places, Emmett, Jasper, Jacob and Seth got up from their seats and walked over to Reneesme's coffin, lifting the ropes attached to it and slowly carrying it over to the dug-up grave. Edward and Bella followed apprehensively, holding onto each other for support and looking down as their daughter was being lowered. I was rooted to my chair, beside a motionless Alice, who was clutching Jasper's hand tightly. Bella's cries were reaching us, and even though I had never really liked her, I couldn't help the wave of pity that I felt for her as I watched her hand creep up in the air as Reneesme's head ducked beneath the surface of the ground.

At that moment, I saw my dad; his face serene, his hair brushed, wearing his favourite shirt and his lucky shorts, being lowered, too, and I remembered how much it hurt to see him disappear from the face of the earth, literally. I remember the day his funeral had been held, how sad it had been, and I couldn't help but think how much I missed him, my best friend. How this would affect the whole family, how hard it would be...

I closed my eyes, to keep the tears for Reneesme and for my father, away. And as my eyes batted away the light, I saw one beautiful image, one that I would carry with me for the rest of my life: my father, radiating happiness through my favourite smile, a light shining from behind him. In his arms, was a child. A beautiful, girl with bronze hair hanging in curls around her face and her arms wrapped around my father's neck, with a smile on her face, too. But what was so special about the image was that when I looked to Reneesme's eyes, they were not swollen or dirty or closed. No, they were wide, doe eyes, like white chocolate.


	20. Chapter 20

**Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...**

**It's me, again, with a new chapter! I can't believe we're nearing a 100 reviews already, and I would just like to say thank you to those of you who have reviewed :P You really make my days, guys... thanks :D**

**Anyways...**

**Of course, I don't own Twilight or any of the characters mentioned here, and FantasyLover74 (hope I got the number right) owns part of the plot, too... :)**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Chapter 20

Leah Clearwater

It's been two months now. And, hell, things are still bad.

I've been moving back and forth, from the Cullens' house, to Claire's, to Mom's, to Jacob's, for the past months, and it was getting high on my nerves. My mom was unsure of how to proceed in her relationship with Charlie and so I was trying to help her, you know, decide. It also meant I could momentarily get my mind off of things and distract myself. I needed to be really occupied and focused on something nowadays for me to get carried away. When I wasn't with my mom, I was usually with Claire, keeping her and Quil company. I know it's wrong of me to, sort of, use them, but they're serving as substitutes to Reneesme, now that she's gone... Now that she's gone...

I quickly snap out of my thoughts. And, when I'm not with my mom _or _Claire, I'm usually at Jake's house keeping an eye on patrols for him. Billy was finding it rather difficult to adapt to the sudden increase in hungry mouths to feed. I took him grocery shopping often and I had been assigned to take care of the wolves' food intake: I was especially enjoying freaking the crap out of the smaller wolves that had only recently joined. Jacob was... always with Bella, now that she needed help, which seemed just plain sorry to me. But nevertheless, I didn't interfere or comment on what he was doing. I was content enough with my newly-found authority.

In truth, I was trying to get away from two things: the Cullens and Sam.

With the Cullens, it was obvious. I just couldn't believe that Reneesme was gone, but I was finally coming to terms with that notion. Unfortunately, I was amongst the few who _had_ accepted her death; these few being Jacob and Seth. All the rest of the Cullens were still wallowing in guilt, shame and sorrow. They all locked themselves up in separate rooms and didn't come out unless spoken to or they needed hunting. _That _was why I didn't spend as much time at the main house anymore. I visited Marla, too, sometimes. Claire and Quil came with me, too, and she had been delighted to meet her.

Then, there was Sam. Sam and his bloody wedding, that was coming up in a few months. When I wasn't with my mom, it was usually because Emily came over to plan and choose colour schemes and what not. I was evading things quite swiftly, if I do say so myself, but subconsciously, I knew I'd _have_ to go to their wedding; like it or not.

All these thoughts were swimming through my head as I was waiting for Rachel to get ready. I was sitting on Billy's couch, arms folded over my abdomen, waiting and staring. Occasionally I would hear Billy's wheelchair squeak about and Paul rummaging through the kitchen, but soon enough, I heard Rachel bounce down the stairs.

"It's about time, Ray," I mumbled as I moved towards the hallway, watching as Paul came out from the kitchen, food in his arms, looking at his imprint. I was still processing the fact that Paul, of all the bloody wolves on the reservation, had imprinted on my best friend, but unlike my Alpha, I had recently come to terms with this and, sort of, accepted it. It still creeped me out, however, that he stared at her most of the time.

"Hey, I did my best," she said, smiling and punching my shoulder playfully. Rachel obviously knew about us wolves now, but she still hadn't told Paul what she's decided yet: whether she'd be staying in La Push or not, and it was killing the poor guy. She looped her hand through mine and pulled me out the door, all the while with Paul staring after her ass.

As soon as we were outside, her smile widened and her face grew brighter, and at that moment, I saw the Rachel Black I had grown up with: the one who always snorted when she laughed real hard, the one who understood me and who had helped me through everything... more than a sister to me, Rachel had been my other part. Becca... eh, not so much, but Rachel and I, we'd always gotten along. It had been years since I'd seen her last, our most recent meeting when she had left for college, a few months before I had phased. So, yeah, we had a lot of catching up to do. She steered me towards First Beach, a place I had been visiting often now, with Claire, and she surprised me by remaining silent the whole way.

I didn't need words to justify my friendship with Rachel. I was completely at ease with the silence she wanted and was keeping up. I was entranced by the scents I could finally appreciate: the smell of the sea salt, of the rough sand, of the pine trees... and a familiar scent I had smelt before. A person... a woman, to be more exact. The beach came into view soon enough, and Rachel was slipping her shoes off and chucking them away in a few seconds, bounding onto the sand in swift lopes, towards the sea. The sun twinkled off the surface of the water, making it seem as it was covered with diamonds. I, too, slipped off my tatty shoes and placed them next to Rachel's, and I ran after her, rolling up my jeans up and dashing into the water.

"Ah, Leah!" she exclaimed, throwing water as soon as I was close enough. "I haven't swum in La Push in _years!_" She laughs, running her wet hands through her hair and smiling brightly.

"You've missed out on a whole lot, Ray," I countered, pushing water in her direction and soaking her shirt through. She shuddered, and threw some back. I enjoyed the feel of the water passing over me, resting in tiny collections over my skin and making me, too, glisten like diamonds. "I-I—"

She cut me off quickly. "Tell me about you, Lee."

"There's not much to tell," I mumbled with a smile, shrugging slightly.

"No, no," she said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest in impatience, "Tell me about what it feels like to be a wolf, you know, from your perspective."

I remained silent, watching my pink, stubby fingers break the surface of the water, time and time again. I watched the ripple effect this produced as I thought of what to say to Rachel. She still believed that being a wolf was a bed of roses, and I didn't know how I was going to break it to her that, for me, being a wolf had been a complete and horrible nightmare. I didn't want to seem like the bitter bitch everyone made me out to be, but I had no choice; being a wolf made me this way and I couldn't change so easily.

"Well, Ray, I lost my dad when I first phased, so I guess that should've been an omen or something, for bad things yet to come. I didn't take any notice of it, and put my all in the pack and focused on my job, now that being a wolf was the only thing that I was capable of. But, fate really hated me. After the whole Sam break up thing and all, I had been trying to avoid him, but lucky me, I had to endure his lovesick thoughts of Emily _every single freaking time I phased._ You know why? Because we share a mind link: every time we phase, I can hear everyone else's thoughts—if they are phased—and they can hear mine.

"And, as if that was not enough, I got to see each and every dirty fantasy and wet dream that the boys had about me... Oh, joy!" I said sarcastically, throwing my hands about my head and waving them erratically. I eyed Rachel, who was watching me with pity written all over her features.

"Oh, you poor thing," she said finally, wading towards me and wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her chin over my shoulder. She was a whole head shorter than I was, but nevertheless, as I was holding onto her, she seemed even bigger me, in years and in mind. She squeezed me tighter, and I felt her smile against my shoulder. "Hey, who's that?"

"Who's who?" I said, untangling myself from her strong grip and turning around, in the same direction that she was looking. There was a woman, and I recognized her scent quickly. She was huddled over herself, her back meanly arched and her face tilted towards us. I would recognize those electric blue eyes anywhere, and that long, billowing dark hair. "Marla!" I yelled, waving my hand over head and beaming at her. But she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes were boring into Rachel, and she hadn't looked away since we'd caught her staring.

"Why's she looking at me like that?" Rachel asked suddenly, seemingly worried. She looked at me with wide, dark eyes and I quickly reached for her hand and held it tightly. I closed my eyes shut, trying to shove the horrible ideas that had seeped into me head aside. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be, I thought, over and over again, because honestly, I couldn't take much more of this shit.

"I don't know Rachel," I said, opening my eyes slowly. She was looking over at Marla now, too, and Marla, in turn, was making her way over to us slowly.

"No, no, no!" I groaned, lifting my hands up to my temples and stroking my sides. I waded out of the water, with Rachel in tow, and I stood waiting for Marla on the sand, a defiant look on my face.

"Good morning, Leah," Marla said as she neared me, but she only looked at me for a split second. Her gaze immediately shifted to Rachel, who was standing a few steps behind me. "And who is this?"

"No, Marla. Don't you dare!"

"But I can't help it! If she's the one, then she's the one! There's no denying it, Leah," she screeched, her voice lowering to a slight boom as she neared the end. Usually, it would have freaked the crap out of me, but I was in no mood.

"I don't care. Find someone else who's willing. Not Rachel, leave her _alone_!" I emphasised the word 'alone', but she didn't seem affected by it. She was still looking over at Rachel, eyes wide and searching, as if she had found something that she liked. Which in fact, Rachel was. Jacob would blow a gasket now, more than ever.

"Excuse me, but what the _hell_ is going on?" Rachel interjected suddenly, stepping around me and resting her hands on her hips. She was looking between me and Marla with beady eyes that were creeping me out, so I shied away from her gaze and looked back to Marla.

"Listen, Ray, shut the hell up—"

"Just freaking tell me what's going on, Lee! I have every right to know, if it's about me!" she complained. She was going to keep bantering, but she was cut off by a loud thud of feet on the sand.

"Leah? What's going on?" Paul's voice reached us, loud and crystal clear. I turned to look as he walked towards us, brow cocked up in confusion and curiosity. I ran a frustrated hand over my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts.

"I honestly can't deal with this shit right now!" I yelled, and Paul froze. His eyes darted from me, to Rachel, to Marla and back.

"Sorry, but can you please tell me what's going on?" Rachel asked, and I saw her turn towards Marla, who now held a bright smile on face.

"Of course I—"

"_No!_ You shut up, all of you!" I screamed, and the silence that followed calmed most of the raging nerves coursing through me. I relaxed the tense posture I hadn't realised I had been holding up and I heard the whoosh of the air as it escaped the confines of my mouth. Even Marla had listened to my command and I let my features fall away from their scowl. "_Thank_ you. I'll talk to you later, Marla. Rachel, Paul... you two come with me."

"But—"

"No, Marla," I said pointing a stern finger at her and silencing her again, "I'll talk to you later." At that, I looped both my arms around Paul and Rachel and dragged them away from the beach, towards Rachel's home. They remained silent for the rest of the walk, and only when I got home, and I was settled comfortably on the couch, did they ask me the first question.

"Can you _please_ explain what's going on?" Paul asked, sitting on the coffee table and leaning his elbows on his knees.

"Why? What happened?" Jacob asked, suddenly emerging from the kitchen with his face stuffed with food.

I groaned and looked over at Rachel, who was looking at me curiously. I sucked in a deep breath, before the words spilled out of my mouth in a rush. "Marla is the pack's ex-healer and Jake and I visited her some time ago for some medicinal herbs for Reneesme. I visited her another time, on my own and she explained to me that she would have to find a new healer soon, one that could take her place when she was gone. She told me that the whole process was like an imprint that the pull isn't as strong, but it's still there and it makes the healer realize who this new healer is. And when she saw you with me on the beach, she probably knew that you were the next healer in line—"

"She _what?_" Rachel interrupted the curiosity no longer evident on her features. Instead, there was a mask of anger and rage, flowing passionately through her. "I want to get out of La Push, and yet this stupid pack is giving me more reasons to stay. I don't want my life to be limited to _just_ the reservation. I _don't want that!_" she screamed the last part, and I didn't have to look over to Paul to know that he was hurt by her words. Even though he was probably the biggest ass in the world, he didn't deserve this.

"Ray..." Jacob breathed finally, settling down on the couch next to me, "Don't take this the wrong way—"

"How, Jacob? I knew I should've never come to La Push in the first place!"

"Why not?" a booming voice asked from behind us. I didn't turn around, I didn't move, because, quite frankly, the house couldn't get much more crowded. The gentle creak of the wheelchair as Billy moved told us that he was coming to the living room, and when he did, he eyes us all sceptically. "What happened, Rachel?"

She looked to her father and her face fell immediately. "I'm the new healer, dad."

Even Billy looked shocked. "Who said so?" he asked finally, leaning forward in his seat to peer at Rachel better. At that, every set of eyes in the room turned to look at me, because after all, I was the one who held the answer to this godforsaken problem. Billy raised a brow to look at me, and even though he wasn't my Alpha, he was still an authoritive, and scary, figure on the whole rez.

I gulped in a fresh breath of air, then let my head fall into my hands. It was easier to explain without having to look at them. "Marla... she told me that she was expecting a new healer. I thought it was as simple as, you know, choosing what to wear in the morning, but she told me that it's more complex than that. There's sort of an imprint pull between the healer and the new replacement, but it's not as strong, and she told me that she would know who the healer is when she sees her. And, Rachel and I were on the beach, talking, and _she _was there, and she saw us and, well... it happened. It's not my fault; Billy... none of us had anything to do with it."

"I'm not saying it's _anyone's _fault; it's just... shocking. And surprising, really."

"So, I didn't get the wolf genes, but lucky for me, I got imprinted on, _twice._ Well, that's just great, isn't it? One person running after me like a lost puppy, I can deal with, but two, that's just too _bloody_ much. Dad, I came to La Push _once_, on a visit, and this is what I got!"

"Calm down, Rachel, I'm sure we can figure this out. Leah, are you going to talk to Marla any time soon?"

I shrugged, "Well, I guess. I told her I'd be visiting her soon, to clear things out—"

"Good," he approved, in a booming, yet somehow smooth, voice. Then, he turned to Rachel, "You: you think about things before you comment about them. Think about it, Rach, you just got a degree in medicine at college, and this here Marla's giving you the chance to use what you learned—"

"On a pack of _wolves?_"

"If it is for the good of the tribe, and the pack, then so be it," he said softly, with a smile lingering about the corners of his lips. Billy was one persuasive man, and somehow, even Rachel couldn't deny him, and instead, slumped down onto the couch, hands crossed over her chest.

But the worst one of them all was, by far, Paul. He was tucked away in a corner, arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed tightly. I could see what Rachel's words had done to him. Paul had always been an egoistic person, from the start, but even the imprint hadn't changed his ways. He still wanted things his way, but... I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Paul and I had never really gotten along, but I never meant him any harm and him to me. He was, after all, one of my pack brothers: we stick up for each other, no matter what.

This little resolve towards Paul was shocking, even to me, but nevertheless, I turned my attention back to Jacob and Billy and Rachel, still looking shocked and mad, at the same time.

"Leah," Billy whispered, as I walked past him, "go to Marla, please."

-:-

The different scents, the smell of the fresh rain on everything in the forest... they were all just so intoxicating, and as I moved deeper and deeper into the forest, I let the wolf inside me take control and take in all the things I was too nervous to take note of. I swung my shoes in my hands as I walked barefoot on the moist soil, almost feeling rooted to the ground beneath me with each step I took away from Marla's house.

I didn't want to go back to Billy's house, because I didn't feel like talking to Rachel just now, and I didn't want any arguments as of yet. I wanted to clear my head, to be able to think clearly and to see things in a better light. I wanted to find the positive things in this situation before I got stuck any deeper in any of it.

If Rachel accepted Marla's calling, as she had called it, then it would be a big plus for me. I knew it was selfish to just find the things that would matter only to me, but I couldn't help it. When I had asked Marla the questions, she had told me that the new healer would answer them for me, so who would do a better job at explaining this stuff to me than Rachel, my best friend? And, it would also be a big plus for Paul: if Rachel accepts, she'd _have_ to stay in La Push, and she'd eventually accept Paul's imprint... so, it's not all about me.

I walked deeper, moving slowly around trees at a leisurely pace. I had no reason to be quick; I had nowhere to go, no one waiting for me, nothing. I was not going to the Cullens' house, but I was walking in that general direction: I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up there, at some point.

I hadn't had time alone since Reneesme's funeral, and I admit that I had done so deliberately to keep myself distracted. After all, what type of woman wouldn't be affected by a child's death? When I close my eyes to sleep, Reneesme is just there, and her death brought back memories of my dad; one's I had taken ages to get over and to bury away, into the confines of my brain. He was there, most of the time, just looking at me and smiling tentatively, somewhere in my brain. It was difficult to, you know, ignore him when his presence was so strong and, well, _there_. But I tried my very best to keep a straight head, to not let him distract me, and up to now it was working. Up to now...

As I was weaving a path through the forest, and I saw and remembered all the plants that my father had taken joy in, I couldn't help but to let his image flood into my head. His smile filled the contours of my brain, his warm embrace, his soft hands holding mine... every memory I had of my father simply came seeping out of my hold and they made me shudder, made the hair on the back of my neck rise on end.

I couldn't help the steady tears then. I let them fall, like silver diamonds on my skin, down my neck, and onto the moist soil beneath me. I kept my chin up as I cried and mourned, all over again, but this time, it was treble: the pain was three times as strong and painful as when my father had died, for this time, I was mourning not one, but three people. I was, of course, mourning my father, and also Reneesme... but I was also mourning the child I would never have, never get to see and hold and caress and _love_...

My shoes crashed into a tree, and only when my arm fell limp by my side, did I realize that I had thrown them myself. I didn't make a move towards them; no, I remained planted on the spot and folded my arms around myself, trying to keep myself whole when it felt like I was breaking apart.

Soon enough, I found myself kneeling on the ground, back arched and leaning towards the ground, tears spilling over my cheeks and my body shuddering with each powerful sob that wracked through me. It was so hard, to just... to just _be _without them, to live and to move on. My father, I guess that was the highest hurdle: to get over his death...

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out shakily, lifting my palms up and burying them into my eyes sockets, to keep the tears inside.

"Leah?" a voice asked from somewhere in front of me, breaking as it wrapped around my name. Tentatively, I lifted my head up, and I glimpsed Jacob's towering form standing before me. His stance was... shocked. His arms were standing limply by his sides, and his mouth was slightly agape as he took in my distraught position. "Are... are you okay?"

I stared up at him, unable to wrap my tongue around any coherent words. My eyes were impeccably wide, I could tell, and I made no move to stand up. I remained curled up on the ground, waiting, but I didn't know what I was really waiting for. I heard him move, heard the soil squish softly beneath his feet, until he was kneeling next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. The small part of me that was not overwhelmed by mourning was suddenly very aware of Jacob's arm on me, but I barely took any notice of it.

He was looking at me worriedly, his warm, brown eyes filled with sincerity and... pity. Slowly, he hauled me up to my feet, his arm tucked securely underneath mine. He let me lean against him; my head nestled comfortably at the crook of his neck and my tears falling onto his shirt. He didn't seem to mind, and neither did I.

He let me cry for a long time. In fact, I cried for so long that I eventually lost track of it, and by the time I moved my head away from his chest, it was already dark around us, and night had settled upon everything in the woods around.

"Lee—" he started but I shushed him.

"It's okay, Jake, I'm sorry," I whispered, wiping my nose on the back of my hand and feeling the path of the dried tears on my cheeks.

"Don't be sorry, Lee, it happens, you know. Everyone has a breaking point, and you are no exception," he explained slowly, reaching for my hand, nestled comfortably between our two bodies, and squeezing it tightly. The pressure that his fingers exerted on mine was beautiful as it coursed through my body, into every nook and cranny, every cell and vein.

"I've just... I've been storing all this pent up anger and rage and frustration for so long... I just couldn't control myself..."

"I understand, Lee, it's hard," he whispers softly, and his warm breath touches my cheeks in soft tendrils. Before I realize what I'm actually doing, I tilt my chin up towards his face, wanting more and more of his warm breath.

He is looking down at me, his dark eyes warm and inviting. I find myself entranced by them, unable to look away, and it's just as hard to form a coherent thought as he leans his head towards me.

There's only a few centimetres between my parted lips and his full ones, and I can feel the adrenaline and the anticipation coursing through me as I think of nothing but him, and him alone. I close my eyes, unable to keep them open with all the excitement, and when I do so, my lips are captured by his, and I can taste him on my tongue, and feel him all over my body.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters mentioned here (which just plain sucks, but whatever :/)**

**My God! We've hit a 100! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate it :) So, as always, keep 'em coming !**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 21

Leah Clearwater

There is nothing worse than knowing that you've made a _huge _mistake. One so bad, that it is irreparable; that it cannot be taken back.

I know that what I've just done is plain wrong. And as I lie on the forest floor, watching the sunlight and the dust motes in the air float around me, I can't help the tears that fall from my face. I cover my eyes and run a hand through my hair. As my fingers reach the tips of the hairs, they brush against something warm and smooth. They froze in midair, feeling the thing behind me rise and fall, as if it were breathing.

Through the throbbing headache and groggy eyes, I vaguely remembered what had brought me here, to this unbelievable situation.

I remembered the feel of Jacob's soft lips on mine, and his hands, burning and scorching my skin all over... I closed my eyes shut and curled my hands in a fist on my chest, feeling the racing _thump thump_ of my heart as I thought of what had happened.

If I said that I regretted what happened, I'd be feeding myself a blatant lie. Because I don't regret what happened, and I never will. Nevertheless, I curl myself up into a ball, and sob onto my knees, watching my tears pool on my skin then gently slope down my leg. A grunt reached me, and my eyes wrenched open as the thing I was lying next to moved. I remained motionless, frozen in spot, too shocked and overwhelmed with emotion to even comprehend what was going on.

"Leah?"

And with that simple call of my name, my will and my dignity were unravelled slowly, bleeding onto the ground beneath me. I closed my eyes again as his breathing increased rapidly, and prayed for the best. He lunged up, towering above me and looking down at me with confusion etched all over his beautiful face. I tilted my face up to look at him, locking my gaze with his and feeling all the sorrow and the guilt wash through me like a wave.

"What happened?"

And that hurt the most. The fact that he couldn't remember something that was so important to me... I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my chin on them and watching him.

"Jake... I—I'm sorry..." I whispered, looking at him for a reaction, but he turned away from me immediately, and ran his hands over his eyes, as if trying to erase the situation from his mind, or make me disappear from the forest, along with my clothes and my memories. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears at bay, but nevertheless, they fell over my cheeks, down my neck and onto my chest.

"Don't be, Lee..." His face was turned to look at me, and I could see compassion etched onto his features and...pity. And that just maddened me. I did not want his _bloody_ pity after what had happened between us, and I didn't need it.

I growled and jumped up onto my feet, jabbing my finger at his chest. "Don't you dare pity me, Jacob Black, I don't need it. If you think screwing me was a way to make me feel better then you're darn wrong—"

"Shut up, Leah, let me figure this out—"

"_There's nothing _too_ figure out, you idiot!"_ I screamed, and I could feel my cheeks growing redder and redder with each word I spat at him, "It's fairly simple: we had sex, you regret it... fine! We'll just treat it as if it never happened!"

He stared at me for a few seconds, measuring his options and my reasoning. That was the worst lie I had ever concocted, because I didn't want to put last night behind us, just like that, as if it didn't mean anything. It meant the world to me, that I had finally held Jacob close, the way I actually wanted to, but I didn't want to base a relationship on sex, and on my imprint.

And there was another thing...

When we made love, I had expected... something. _Something._ The same thing I had accidentally seen in Sam's thoughts when he thought of him and Emily's various nights of passion. There was the imprint there, always, wedged between their two bodies, pulling them towards each other. Even though it had hurt, at that time, my infatuation, and imprint, with Jacob had brightened and spread and grown, when I had felt what potential feelings I could feel when making love to Jacob. But in truth, even though I didn't want to admit to myself, I hadn't felt that pull... Nothing magical, or ancient coursing through me. Nothing.

It had been a simple fuck. It was as if the imprint had switched off during last night.

I was disappointed, really. Disappointed with myself, that I had let my feelings get the best of me and had given in to Jacob, who clearly had had no idea what he was doing last night. When I thought about it, it seemed quite a simple situation, really. We had both been under a lot of stress and anxiety, and we had found each other and lost ourselves, unable to control our bodies when they touched.

But it was sad.

With a slight huff, Jacob settled down beside me, looking at me hesitantly and rubbing my bare shoulder. I bit into my lip, until I drew blood, and kept pressing down on the sore spot long after the wound had dried up and sealed.

"Leah..."

"Jacob, it was a _mistake_. I'm sorry I'm so... emotional; I don't know what's gotten over me, but seriously, it's nothing. I'm just... shocked."

His fingers pressed the spot just between my shoulder blade and my collarbone, making me shudder at his fiery touch. He had no idea how a simple touch still affected me, even after last night.

"We'll forget about it?" he asked unsurely, reaching down to grab my hand and squeeze it tightly. I nodded slowly, after deliberating for a few seconds, and then he was up, searching for his clothes, scattered all over the forest floor. I watched him move about for a few seconds and then, he nodded, tugged on his shorts and sprinted away from me, towards his home. I sat on the ground for a few more minutes before I willed myself to get up and search for my own clothes.

I was not so lucky with my own. My shirt was torn at the hem, all the way up to my abdomen and it splayed about in two different directions when I moved about. Thankfully, my shorts were still intact, and when I had them tugged on, I started jogging away from that spot, towards the only place I knew I'd find comfort...

The shrubbery around the Cullens' estate was unkempt and it hadn't been tended to over the past few months. The various plants were growing in crazy patterns and shapes, but I was entirely focused on them. Bella and Edward's cottage was empty—for a change—so I kept walking up to the main house, where I could smell mostly everyone. Something inside me reached out to the house, missing it after so long, and before I'd even crossed half of the back yard, there was a shuffling on the inside, and then, a pixie-like Alice burst through the door, with a gigantic smile on her face.

She slammed into me, wrapping her arms around me and laughing against me. "Oh, Leah, I haven't seen you in so—" she stopped, eyed me sceptically then resorted to sniffing me.

"What the—?"

"You smell of sex," she admitted with a giggle, "and of Jacob." I rolled my eyes at her, mentally cursing my idiocy towards the Cullens' enhanced senses. "And your shirt is torn... Could it be more obvious?" she screeched, fingering a piece of my shirt between her smooth fingers, then dismissing it and leading me towards the back door from which she had emerged.

As I stepped inside, I knew I was in for it, big. Emmett was there, and Jasper and Rosalie, too, and some gut feeling told me that they had overheard our conversation about my recent sex life. Emmett was grinning from ear to ear and there was a mischievous glint to his eyes. Alice left immediately to get me a decent shirt, and that left me alone, with the three of them.

I'm not sure how long it took them to form a decent mockery, but nevertheless, I waited intently for what they had to say.

"It's about time someone got to bang you, Clearwater," Emmett commented in approval.

"And Jacob Black, too," Rosalie added with a nod.

"Not one to take a pup, huh? Screwed the Alpha, didn't you?" Jasper sneered with a grin, but I dismissed them all with a wave of my hand and slumped down onto one of the arm chairs. I let my head fall into my waiting hand, and gently rubbed my temples. I had come to the Cullens' place to consult about my situation with the only two women I knew who were not a) related to Jacob, b) knew any of his relatives personally, c) had not seen him growing up d) were not from La Push and e) preferably, not my mom... or Rachel. Even though Rachel _was _my best friend, I guess it wouldn't be her daily cup of tea to listen to me ranting on about having sex with her brother... I knew I'd blow a gasket if some chick came and told me that she had sex with Seth, so I sort of understood her position.

My mom was still old-fashioned: she'd never approve of me and Jacob having sex before marriage, but once she'd get over the fact that we _did_ do it, she'd go on about Jacob being younger, and him being my Alpha. Then, Emily was a straight no-no because she'd tell Sam and they'd both drown out my hopes with all that imprint-Alpha bullshit.

So, Alice and Rosalie had to do.

Unfortunately, I hadn't thought things out... _things _being Emmett, Jasper and all the other vampires who had hundred-metre radar hearing, and which implied us having to almost leave Forks completely to get some privacy. I'm sure Emmett would get a kick out of making fun of me, and I'm sure Jasper wouldn't mind joining in. I guess, those were the only vampires who posed as a threat, but still, it was... uncomfortable.

"Emmett... I think you should leave."

"Leave being the operative word," Jasper mumbled as he followed Emmett out of the room, and proceeded to leave the house entirely.

Alice was back with a shirt and they both looked away politely as I shrugged off mine and pulled it on. I tried not to let the smell bother me, and distracted myself so as to do so. I turned my attention back to Rosalie and Alice, both perched expectantly on the couch, eyeing me with glints in their butterscotch eyes.

"What's wrong, Leah?" Alice asked finally, her voice concerned, and she leaned forward, worry flooding into her eyes.

I shook my head, and then let the tears escape. I was a complete emotional wreck, but I didn't care to even _try _to control myself. I didn't want to. "Jacob and I had sex—"

"And...?" Rosalie asked expectantly, with a smile.

I swallowed the hard, huge lump that had risen up my throat, feeling its weight scorch the insides of my neck. "It was a complete and utter mistake..." I whispered softly, covering my eyes with my hands and keeping the tears inside, wetting my palms in the process.

Alice stifled a gasp. "Why, Leah?"

"Because!" I snapped at her, letting the rage course through me, overcoming the surprise, and the hurt. My voice quietened, and I slumped further into my seat, trying to fold myself around myself and to just simply disappear. "Because..." I whimpered, "I imprinted on Jacob."

The silence that fell around me was mortifying. It draped itself around me, drowning me, dragging me under, and I craved for a sound, a reaction from Alice and Rosalie, but nothing came. Slowly, I let my eyes flutter up to their faces, to their blanched expressions, to their emotionless eyes, and I immediately lowered my gaze, afraid of seeing anything more. At that moment, I craved for the volatile Leah; the one who screamed and threw back smart-ass comments, the one whose character wasn't swayed easily, and whose determination was as solid as stone. Over the past few months, I'd changed... I hadn't lost myself, no I hadn't. The only viable explanation was that I'd _found _myself again: the Leah who smiled and laughed and cried; the one who wasn't bitter and who hadn't built a wall to keep everyone out.

That wall had crumbled, and maybe that was why I was feeling so emotional now. I was out of control. That was why I wanted volatile Leah. She'd know how to keep the hurt and the disappointment outside, to leave me unaffected. But she was nowhere to be found.

"Leah... I'm—"

"You _imprinted_ on _Jacob Black?_ And you didn't care to even mention it? 'Oh, it's a nice day outside today, isn't it Rose? Yeah, did I mention that I imprinted on Jacob?' Goddammit!" Rosalie screamed, getting up and slamming the arm chair into the wall, making the plaster flake to the floor slowly.

I was up in a flash, too, balling my fists at my sides, anger coursing passionately through me. "Don't you fucking start!" I retorted, scowling, "You have _no_ idea how hard it is for me!"

"Leah, calm down," Alice's soft voice coaxed, her hand at my elbow, restraining me. She placed herself between Rose and me, keeping an arm outstretched towards Rosalie, a border, a warning. Her wide, golden eyes were somewhat soothing, but when I looked over at Rosalie, she was still seething, her teeth gnashed and her jaw locked. Her pale, beautiful face was contorted into a mask of anger that I had no idea what its source was: was she angry because I hadn't told her about the imprint? What was I to expect from Jacob then? The start of World War three?

I was somewhat calmed now (I had no idea how my emotions were so out of line) but Rosalie was still glaring at the both of us—Alice now standing beside me with a smile lingering around the corners of her lips. I guess it wasn't something unexpected, coming from Rosalie.

"I'm sorry," she growled finally, before her scowl fell and guilt replaced the anger. "It just... took me off-guard, you know. I never thought... Jacob and you?" she said with a snort, and ran a hand over her face. She shook her head, her blonde curls falling past her shoulders with each shake. "I haven't felt so... infuriated in months, Leah. Ever since..." she paused, wincing at the thought, "well, everyone's just lapsed into silence. No interaction, nothing... it's quite boring, actually. And then you come along with something interesting and new, and I just freak out and lose it. I never meant to overreact, sorry. And I can't possibly understand what you're going through."

Her words came out in a rush, and her tone was helpless, reflecting her expression. Alice had settled, yet again, onto the couch, hands folded gracefully over her lap, her lips pressed into a firm line. I fell back onto the arm chair behind me, listening to the silence that followed.

"What's your problem, Leah?" Alice asked when Rosalie was sitting down again, her voice tender, soft and compassionate.

I sucked in a deep breath. "The imprint... you're supposed to _feel_ something towards the imprinted, like, all the time, and sex is no exception. But when Jake and I... did it, I felt nothing—well, I felt something, just not the same pull with Sam and Emily, and Paul and Rachel... we were just two people screwing each other: there was no magic, no imprint... and that, it worries me. I'm not sure what I'm _supposed_ to feel, and right now, I just feel plain used..." I trailed, unable to convert my actual feelings into the appropriate words.

Alice was nodding, but Rosalie was measuring my words, as her expression clearly showed. I waited until one of them came up with a solution, or a comforting notion that would soothe me or something... that was simply what I needed, nothing more, nothing less.

"Maybe you didn't imprint on him," Alice started quietly, and form the corner of my eye, I caught Rosalie nodding slowly, her eyes closed, "Maybe the imprint was some whole misconception, or something."

I shook my head, then. It was highly unlikely for any to misperceive an imprint, especially me—one who didn't want an imprint—so, I immediately shook those thoughts away. "No, it doesn't work that way. You see, when we imprint, it's like everything else in the world doesn't matter, doesn't exist: it's that person, and that person _alone_ keeping us grounded. And I, of all people, would do anything to avoid the thing that ruined me in the first place. I find it hard to believe that I, Leah Clearwater, would mess up in imprint."

"Who knows?" Rosalie interjected, shrugging, dismissing my explanation with a wave of her hand. "Maybe your love for Jacob got so out of control that it made you make up things, like an imprint, just to get close to him."

It hurt to hear her think that I was so weak; that she thought I was incapable of even understanding my own thoughts and emotions. Even my own tribe, my own genetics.

"No, I don't think I would let my emotions get the best of me like _that_," I growled, but she barely took any notice of it and went back to thinking.

"Well, what _did_ Jacob say after you had sex?"

A gasp shot through the air around us, and my head snapped up whilst the usual sickly sweet scents invaded my nostrils, making them flare and burn. Bella was standing in the doorway that led to the living room, her eyes screaming murder at me. I had never seen such rage and anger directed so passionately towards one person.

"_You_ had sex with _Jacob_?" she screamed, her nails ripping through the fine leather couch. Surprisingly, her anger did not affect me and I remained seated calmly on the arm chair. This angered her even more. "And to think I let you speak over my daughter's grave," she spat, baring her teeth at me.

"What the hell does me sleeping with Jacob have to do with Reneesme?" I retorted calmly, raising my brow in question.

"You're supposed to mourn for her... It never occurred to me that mourning for my daughter involved reproducing yet _another _child," she sneered.

"Oh, that's a low blow," I whispered, and instinctively, my hand flew up to cover my stomach, to protect the child that would never live there, "You know I won't be able to have a child _Isabella_."

She smiled grimly and shrugged. "I'll talk to Jacob, see what all this is about." And with that, she left, leaving a sense of egoism in the air behind her. Long after she had disappeared through the back door, Alice sucked in a deep breath.

"Well, now we know where all the pent up anger is getting to..."

"Yeah, she' throwing it all at me. I think, even if I fell down and died, she'd find fault in my actions," I said, with a shake of my head, and Rosalie chuckled from the corner.

"She's just taking it wrongly, that's all. It... affects everyone, you know. In different ways. Bella turns into a bitch when she can't do anything to help the situation she's in. You just have to learn to accept her."

She was eyeing my stomach now, watching the hand that still hovered protectively over it with tenderness in her eyes. "And don't take her infertility comments too seriously. I don't, believe me."

-:-

The sand was soft beneath my toes, fresh and slightly moist after this morning's short drizzle. It wasn't too wet, nor too dry; just right. I breathed in the smell of salt, sand and sea. I watched the pretty four year old jump around on the sand in front of me, dressed in the warmest coat and Wellies that she owned to keep the cold at bay. She was searching for shells, and she had demanded that she do it on her own, and up to now, the small plastic bag beside me was still empty.

I didn't know why, but being with Claire helped to clear my head. Quil was lying horizontally on the sand beside me, snoring softly after a night of patrols. The fact that he was asleep helped as well, because I didn't feel like to talking to anyone at the moment. Even opening up to Rosalie and Alice had been emotionally draining.

Claire waded into the tide pools, arms spread wide beside her body, breaking through the water. She looked so cute; with her beanie and her jacket hood pulled tightly over her forehead, striped with all the colours of the rainbow. She reminded me so much of Reneesme... I closed my eyes for a few seconds, pressing my lips together firmly to keep the sobs from wracking through my chest.

My thoughts were a maze, mainly made up of Jacob, Reneesme and the child I would never get to hold. Lately, I was feeling extremely attached the mother inside me... maybe because I had been in tune with her over the past few months... I didn't know. I opened my eyes to see an excited Claire running away from the tide pools towards a figure, stepping onto the sand. Instinctively, I stood up; taking a few strides in the same direction Claire was running in. I stopped only when Claire's clear voice reached me.

"Aunt Rachel!" she screeched, and I couldn't help the smile that fell onto my mouth when tiny Claire crashed into tiny Rachel, wrapping her arms around her legs. Here was the woman who could make everything better, who would comfort me with a smile.

"Hey, Leah," Rachel greeted as she neared me, with a beaming Claire in her arms, who immediately wanted to be put down. She ran back to the tide pools, resuming her search as Rachel settled down on the other side of me, opposite a sleeping Quil.

"Hi, Ray, what's up?" I asked, looking over to her, watching the uncertainty wash over her face.

"I'm... thinking about taking the Healer... slot, or whatever it is," she announced finally with a grim smile, running her hand through the soil and weaving random patterns onto it.

This surprised me. "Really?" I asked, curiosity leaking into my voice.

She nodded, and then looked towards the sea, her eyes glistening with tears. "It just didn't seem fair on Paul, or my dad, or Jacob..." When she mentioned her brother, a sharp lance of pain shot through my chest, almost making me gasp for breath, "I mean, what have I got to lose, really? I came back to La Push, because something inside me told me to come back, and... Well, it's hard to forget the place where you grew up and what not. No matter how much I studied and tried to focus on building my career, my thoughts always went back to our little red cottage, down here, in the rain.

"I never really got a chance to talk to you about the imprint, Lee," she started, her voice almost helpless in tone. I nodded for her to go on, and she sucked in a deep breath before she continued, "When he told me about it... I'd secretly been overjoyed and sad at the same time. I had no idea what was going on around me because my feelings were all over the place. The imprint gave me all the more reason to stay here... But I'm still not sure if I _should_ stay Leah... I mean, Paul's a great guy when he puts his mind to it, and he literally adores me, but, is it all worth it? Do I get a chance at a normal life if I accept it, the imprint?"

Her words lingered in the air around us. Quil's breathing changed and soon enough, he was up on his feet, walking over to Claire and joining in on her sea-shell search. We watched them for a few seconds before I chose to talk again. "Quil had it hardest, you know. Imprinting on a four-year old. But imprinting isn't just finding the one you love... I remember Quil describing it to my mom: it's like the person you imprint on is the only thing you need to live, like the air you breathe, or the food you eat. The imprint turns into your everything, and that, then, automatically, turns into unconditional love. Quil loves Claire, but for now, it's sort of brotherly love, he's always there for, her best friend, her guardian, her protector.

"To you, Paul can be anything you want him to be: lover, friend, brother... anything. It doesn't need to be romance, Ray..." I trailed off, watching as Quil held onto Claire's waist as she reached out for a shell over one of the tide pools. Even though imprinting _had_ ruined my life, I had no reason to discourage Rachel's... she was on the receiving line of the imprint, not in the position I had been. "You may be sceptical at first, but once you start warming up to the idea... I suggest you think it through: the Healer position is different from the imprint. Have you gone to talk to Marla?"

Rachel shrugged, "I was thinking of going today... you know, now. But... well, First Beach called to me, like when we were young, remember? Always here, all day long..." she trailed off, reminiscing our childhoods together, the days we spent running on the sand all together, laughing, smiling... Becca was here, and Jacob, and little Quil and Seth. To think how our lives had changed over the years was... saddening, too much, when I thought about it.

"Life changes, you know..." I murmured, thinking of a seven-year old Jacob, laughing and trying to involve himself in our games: young and innocent... not the man who I'd made love to last night, "and people change, too."

-:-

I was in the forest, yet again, standing at the lip of the trees, my back to our little cottage, staring at the way the gentle breeze made everything around me move in synchronization. My hands lay limp at my sides, lifeless things that, for once, were not fisted in anger and in rage.

I was calm, thinking about the various situations I was in, but unsurprisingly, the knot was tangled all around last night and... Jacob, of course. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob... it hurt, no matter how much I tried not to think about him. The sharp lance of pain that shot through my whole body wasn't lessening in pain; at times, I even felt it getting stronger, more unbearable with each blow.

I closed my eyes—it was better like that. Everything was better in the darkness. With my eyes closed I could easily concentrate on all the different sounds and scents around me, and like that, I wasn't so easily distracted. The main problem that was worrying me was the imprint: why it's absence during last night? Surely the imprint would've gotten stronger if we had sex, no? But somehow, _my_ imprint was still the same, if not weaker. Maybe it was me. Maybe I just fucked up everything I came into contact with... I didn't know, and quite frankly, I wasn't very keen on finding out.

Then there was, of course, the hurt. The fact that Jacob didn't care at about me the way I did. I mean, sure, we were pack members, Alpha and Beta, and all that crazy shit... but still, I had expected some kind of miracle: you know, him falling in love with me when he realized that I loved him just as much. But that was very fairy-tale like of me. He hadn't even realized how much it hurt me to forget about last night; maybe he was oblivious, maybe he was just plain dumb or maybe... he just didn't care.

I scowled and in seconds, my hands were balled up in tight fists, the veins protruding, the muscles tensed. I wouldn't lose control... no, I wouldn't, but I had to find some way to rid myself of all this... anger and pain. Because these two were the source of my frustration, and so, they needed to be eradicated. I thought hard about small things I could do to just simply break ties with Jacob.

Because, yes, that was what I needed.

I needed to at least _try_ to forget about Jacob, to leave him behind me, in my past. It would be hard, yes, it would be, but I would do my best. If he didn't care about me, much less love me, why should I keep holding on, digging my fingernails into something that would never be mine? I shook my head, as if to shake these thoughts from my head, but still, they were set into my mind like stone.

I opened my eyes to be greeted by the semi-dark forest, with a hint of pink and red escaping through the trees and the leaves. I turned around, walking slowly towards my house, but with fierce determination coursing through my veins. Even though I did not like the idea, I knew I had to do it. The truth would never set me free, but what if lies could? I knew I had at least had to try.

I pushed past the back door, hearing the screen bang back into place as I was greeted by the dead silence that was almost always around now. Seth was on patrols, my mom was with Charlie, and I was alone. I stalked into the kitchen, rigid, and reached for the cutlery drawer, pulling out the sharpest knife we had. It was heavy, with a large, wooden handle and a huge blade that glistened when I brought it into the light. It was just what I needed: a perfect slice.

I went up the stairs slowly; trying to remember where I had put the cast Jacob had so carefully drawn for me. I knew it was a shameful waste ruining something so beautiful and... special to me, but I needed that closure; I desperately needed it.

My hand was poised on the door handle when I realized that something was off on the other side of the door. The scent that I loved, that I was pulled to automatically... I pushed open the door, letting it open slowly, and took in my room. It was messed up, as always, for I never had any time to clean it up nowadays. My desk was overfilled with books, half-opened, dog-eared, the whole shebang. Clothes lay about on the floor, crumpled and dirty from neglect and use. I hadn't bothered to do the laundry in ages, and I wasn't planning on doing it soon.

But it was what was on the bed, which caught my full attention.

There, in all his Alpha glory, sitting on the edge of the mattress with his elbows resting on his knees, was Jacob, his eyes wide, staring at the knife in my hands.

* * *

**Awkwardness has been delayed, but not to worry! It's coming! :)**

**Hope everyone had a greeeaaaat Christmas!**

**And, Happy New Year ! :D**

**Love,**

**macandcheez**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Leah Clearwater

The knife slipped from my fingers when my mind registered that he was there, in _my room_. It took me a few minutes to get my mind through the sudden haze that had overcome me. He seemed to realize my shock and a hesitant smile tugged at the corners of his lips. His eyes were still darting from me to the knife, as if unsure of what I was going to do with it.

With a sigh, I bent down, grabbed it and carried it over to my desk, leaving it there, harmless. He was still watching me carefully... I guess he thought I had turned suicidal or something, but surprisingly, that didn't bother me, not one bit. I leaned my weight against the desk, crossing my arms across my chest and watched Jacob watch me. His dark eyes glistened in the moonlight that was the only light source in my room. I hadn't bothered to turn on the light, and as I had said before, everything was better in the darkness, at least, to my eyes.

It took him _forever _to come up with something, a response and an excuse to being in my room, without my permission. "What's with the knife, Lee?"

I didn't know if I should answer him, and I didn't know if I could answer him, really. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, letting the silence settle around us. "I wasn't going to cut myself, if that's what you thought. But really, what I was going to do with it is none of your business."

He cleared his throat. "Fine-"

"What are you doing here, Jacob?" I cut him off, opening my eyes again. I didn't feel like hearing his bullcrap today, and my mood had suddenly turned pissed off. And that feeling was wrong, no? Why should I feel so… uncomfortable with my imprint, especially now, that we had had sex? Something which was supposed to make it stronger, had made it substantially weaker. The pull was still there, of course, but just from a different point of view.

He stared at me for a few seconds, and I could literally see the nothingness on his face. Then, he shrugged. "I wanted to talk… about last night."

"You _wanted _to? Why? What's there to discuss, Jacob?" I asked, and my hands fell to my sides, and curled up into tight, tight fists, until my fingers dug so hard into my palms, that the skin burned.

"Well, we have to clear some things out, no?"

"Like what?"

He smiled. "Where we are, now. I mean, we had sex, things are bound to, and supposed to change so I want you to be prepared for them."

"What do you mean, Jake?" I cut him off again, irritated by his lack of bringing the point across.

"What I mean is, if you want last night to be nothing, then so be it. We'll be Alpha and Beta as normal and… that stuff. Do you?"

Now, I was caught between the rock and a hard place. My feelings for Jacob were all over the place, all the time. I hated him, I loved him, I liked him, I despised him… so many conflicting emotions, and now, he had placed the ball in my hands. And I had no idea in which direction I wanted to throw it. Should I tell him about the imprint? But, what about all these new feelings, all of a sudden? Were they a sign- that Rosalie was right? That I had misconceived my infatuation of Jacob as an imprint? These were all possibilities, and I guess I wasn't ready to take on another broken heart.

"I do. Forget about it, and just go on. As if last night never happened."

-:-

Time was passing by so quickly.

Rachel had accepted both the imprint and her job as Healer and was doing quite well. Healing was taking up most of her time and, as she had put it, was far more interesting than she had thought. Marla was a relaxed, easy-going teacher and Rachel was a fast learner, and for the first time in three weeks, I was going over to watch and to be studied on.

"Hey," Rachel said, smiling, as she opened the door and let me into the house. I walked in, taking in my surroundings as I usually did, intrigued by any new ornaments Marla had pinned up to the walls. Nothing new, but I was cut short as Marla walked out of the kitchen with a tray of coffee and biscuits in her hands.

"Come, come," she urged, following us into the living room, where she set down the tray on the coffee table. "Good morning Leah… I haven't seen you in a while," she commented with a smile, but I simply shrugged.

"Sorry, I was a bit occupied lately," I lied, because in truth, I had been spending the past few days helping Billy keep up the kitchen, and mostly helping to empty it, too. "So…. Rachel told me you wanted to see me?"

Marla nodded over her coffee cup, then set it back down on the table. "Yes, because Rachel is going to start studying the wolves."

"Wait," I interjected, somewhat confused, "if there was no tribe during your time as a healer, how did _you _study wolves?"

Marla made a face, "I had to try to make sense of the old writing scrolls Ruth had from the previous pack. It was a nightmare. But, Rachel has a much easier job… and it's bound to be more interesting, because you're a female."

I scowled. "Are you going to, like, torture me or something? Because, I'll tell you straight out, I'm not going to mind throwing a few punches if you annoy me."

"Oh shut up. Rachel's basically going to take your measurements, weigh you, and then try to match you up to any physical descriptions in the scrolls we have. It's fairly simple."

"Drama queen," Rachel snorted, somewhere in the background, then reached out and smashed a biscuit between her fingers. She started to eat the pieces, eyeing me with a small glint to her eyes. Then, she nodded towards me, and I raised my brows at her.

"Your scar is healing," she explained, and my hand flew up to my neck, feeling the coarse skin, which was still healing after such a long time. "That's strange for you, isn't it?"

I was confused and shocked. It _was _strange, especially because of my enchanced healing abilities. I looked over at Marla, whose eyes were narrowed and staring at my scar. "Marla… what's going on? How come it hasn't healed yet?" I asked, panicked. Something was wrong- I cut my fingers and they healed in mere seconds; I broke my leg, and it healed in days… but a scar? A simple scar was taking months to heal…

Marla sighed. "I don't know, Leah. I know what you're thinking right now, and trust me, I'm thinking it, too. You got that scare in battle, no?"

I nodded. "Sam bit me… but that was two months ago. It doesn't make any sense…" I said, panic flooding into my voice.

"Calm down, Leah," she coaxed, then turned to Rachel, "why don't you two go outside to get started on the measurements? I'll stay inside and look for any possible solution as to why Leah's scar is not healing properly, okay?"

Rachel smiled at me, then took me outside. It was somewhat cool outside, as winter was coming and La Push would start to experience far more cold than it usually did. Rachel pulled on her jacket before she followed me outside, and she laughed when she saw that I was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of worn-out sweats, and I didn't have so much as a goose-pimple along the length of my arm.

"See, that's one of the advantages of being a wolf," she said, a swirling cloud of cold seeping out of her mouth, "that, and being able to eat everything the hell you want without gaining weight." She shook her head, then walked over to me, and pulled out a measuring tape out of her pocket. I stood as straight as I could, remembering the times when I was a child and my mom would take my height against the door post at home. I smiled as Rachel pulled out the tape, and told me to hold it against my head as she dragged it down the length of my body. She let out a whoosh of air as she straightened up, "Six goddamn feet."

"Well… and I'm not the tallest of the pack," I said with a smile, "your brother looks massive next to me-"

"Then what does he look like next to me?" she asked, shaking her head and lifting my arms up to measure the span of my arms.

After a few minutes of silence, I opened my mouth to speak. "Do you think you'll find any kind of information that would tell you why I'm a genetic freak?"

Rachel shrugged as she wrapped the measuring tape around my chest, waist and hips. "Maybe, though I'm not sure. I mean, you said you're the first female wolf, so there probably aren't any documents about you. So, Marla said I'll have to make one of my own. Which wouldn't be so hard, if you ask me…" she said, smiling, "would you please phase?"

I slowly started taking off my clothes, handing them to Rachel, then I stepped as far away from her as I could, and focused all my concentration on that one spot of heat at the centre of my back, until I felt it spread, to the tips of my fingers, and the top of my head, and the heels of my toes. I raked my paws through the fresh soil, and saw Rachel beam at me from the stairs at the back of the house. I walked over to her, feeling extremely strange as she walked over to me, too, and held out her hand until it touched my head.

"I never thought I'd be so close to someone in wolf form," she admitted shyly, as she stroked my head, scratching behind my ear and neck until I nudged her with my nuzzle. I was afraid that I would harm her, unintentionally, and give her the same cruel fate as Emily; only, on Rachel, the guilt would be trebled, because it would be like a severe blow to my heart. So I was being vigilant, just in case. I didn't feel like getting my ass kicked by Paul, so… yeah, being vigilant.

I stood as still as I could as she took my full-body measurement, then lifted my head up as high as I could when she was measuring my vertical height. It was sort of a problem when it came to measuring my vertical height when I stood on my hind legs, but somehow, we managed to succeed. I fell back on my paws with a resounding thud and I let Rachel take my paw to measure it and what not.

"Rach!" a deep voice called somewhere from mouth of the woods, and both of us whipped around to face the direction from which the sound had come from. Paul was there, with a bundle of food in his hands and a goofy smile on his face. I panicked, but I didn't have any chance to react, because Paul saw me, standing a few feet away from his Rachel _in wolf form_.

A growl resonated from his chest, and all the food in his hands plummeted to the ground as his body started to shake erratically.

"Paul?" Rachel asked unsurely, moving towards him. "Paul!" I moved in front of her when I saw that he was not calming down, blocking her path in case he phased and did to her what he thought I was going to do myself. When he saw me holding her back with my nuzzle, he completely lost it and tore through his clothes and charged towards me, in wolf form.

_Get away from her, Clearwater, _he spat.

_Paul, let me explain. I was doing nothing wrong. She needed to take my measure- Listen to me! I was not going to hurt Rachel, you know I can't do that!_ I tried to explain, desperately, as I moved away from Rachel. He changed direction and followed me, and when I saw him picking up that much speed, I braced myself and looked him dead in the eye.

I thought the collision was going to be much more severe, but I think Paul slowed down towards the end, pummelled me to the ground and trapped me beneath him. He lowered his head extremely close to mine and I could feel his breaths on my face.

_You better keep your wolf form to yourself, Clearwater, because if I find any marks on Rachel that weren't there before, you can only guess what I'll do._

Rachel was still yelling, somewhere in the background, but I drowned her out, and pushed against his stomach, snapping at his face at the same time.

_Watch it, Paul. I may not be hurting your girlfriend, but I won't mind hurting you. _

If wolves could scowl, Paul would be shooting death glares at me, but I took no notice of him, and pushed him off of me completely, so much that I could go back over to Rachel. I took my clothes into my mouth and walked over to the forest, phased, and pulled my clothes back on. My good mood had all but vanished now that Paul had decided to almost-kill me for something I hadn't been doing. Nevertheless, I joined them in Marla's backyard, where Paul was busy pacing in circles with a worried look on his face.

"You see," I said with a grim smile, "that's why you shouldn't impulsively phase. What are you going to do now?" I asked, holding up the scraps that were the only remains of Paul's clothes. "Paul's going in his _birthday suit_," I sang teasingly, then shook my head and tossed the scraps over at his face, then looped my hand through Rachel's and pulled her inside.

"What is he going to do?" she asked, slightly worried.

I shrugged, "He'll figure it out soon enough. Then he'll be back." Rachel laughed, then disappeared in the kitchen, and came back with a set of weighing scales which she told me to stand on. Marla was still in the living room, moving from one basket to another with various papers in her hands, scribbled over, crumpled and yellow with age.

"Paul freaked out, right?" she yelled as Rachel was trying to decipher the readings from the scales I was on.

"Yep. You knew?" I asked, curious.

Marla smiled and nodded. "I know everything, Leah."

"Not true," I countered, "do you know about the scar?"

She made a face. "That I don't know. But the rest, or most of the things, I do know."

Rachel sighed as she straightened up and I stepped off of the scales. "I hate how she knows what I'm going to do next," she complained, and shook her head, just as Paul opened the back door, with some of the food he had brought with him, still in tact in his arms.

"Clearwater, say thanks to your brother for me," a fully-clothed Paul said as he walked past us and winked at Rachel.

"I told you he would figure it out," I whispered to Rachel as we followed him into the living room. I settled down on the couch opposite Paul, lifting my feet onto the coffee table and stretching my arms over my head with a yawn.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he asked, staring at me with a scowl as he folded as arms across his chest.

"I wasn't _doing _anything wrong, dumbass. Rachel is studying me: she's going to try and find out why I'm a wolf… so thanks for helping with the research."

"Do you know how close your were standing next o her?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "As I recall, I was there, Paul, so yes I do know how close I was. No biggie. I am one of the most controlled wolves in the pack, Paul- unlike you. So you really shouldn't comment on my self-control."

"Just be careful around her," he warned, then reached a hand out and grabbed a packet of crisps that he had brought with him. He opened it and started munching on them, presumably trying to annoy the crap out of me. I closed my eyes and tried to zone him out, but just then, Rachel came in and took a handful of crisps herself, and then came to sit beside me.

"Okay, let's start taking down the information," she began, rubbing her hands together eagerly as she retrieved a new notebook from one of Marla's drawers and set it down on the table before us. She opened it, brought a pen and scribbled down "The Female Wolf" on the first, blank page.

"I feel so awesome… I have my own notebook," I smirked and Paul stuck his crisp-covered tongue out at me.

"So," Rachel mumbled as she took down my measurements quickly. Marla was nowhere in sight, so it was just the three of us in her living room, waiting on Rachel. "Hey, can you get that file, over there?" she asked, pointing to one of the various shelves in the room, "its yellow."

It was the same yellow as the Clearwater notebook I remembered Marla had given me to see. Inside, were many, _many_ papers with diagrams all over.

"Whoa," I gasped, taking out the papers and setting them down on the coffee table beside Rachel. I started flipping through them, hearing each paper cackle when it moved. "What _are _these?"

Rachel peered over at the papers, "They're all the information that the past healer's have gathered about the wolves. They were very organised hundreds of years ago- you'd be surprised."

"Cool," Paul said, tossing the crisps aside and reaching out to grab a chunk of the papers. Reluctantly, I divided the stack in half and gave one to Paul while I shuffled through the other. Each page was dedicated to a member of the pack, with names I had definitely heard before, and pictures of different wolves.

I pulled one out at random, and started to read. The information was detailed, with the exact height and weight of the wolf in question, and a pretty good diagram of the wolf, in colour.

"Hey, Clearwater, this one's yours," Paul said, tossing a paper towards me with a smirk.

"Really?" I asked, curious, and I took the paper between my thumb and index finger, afraid that I would ruin it with my meaty grip. It was true; the paper was about our history. _My_ history, to be exact. I could feel the excitement bubbling up in my body as I read everything single thing jotted down on the paper, but then, it struck me. I froze, and the words became incoherent before me. My gaze slid over to the notebook Rachel was writing on, and I looked closely at my measurements. Then I looked back at the one's written down on the paper. I looked again, just to be sure.

"Rachel…" I said softly, settling the paper down next to the notebook, "look." I pointed to my measurements, then to those on the paper, and I watched as Rachel's eyes grew wide.

"But there's no name here," she said.

"Just Clearwater at the top. We can't tell if it was a female."

"But the measurements are extremely close," Rachel explained, then she took a couple of papers from Paul's stack and started skimming over the information on them. "Your measurements don't match any of these, and the ones on your history are far too small to be male. Look," she said, pointing out the difference, "these are all of male stature."

"Unless there was a smaller male, and it's measurements were recorded before he fully matured? I don't know…"

"It could be… but I highly doubt it." Rachel flipped over the page, where the human measurements were hidden. "Even these match with yours!" she exclaimed after she read them.

"So…" I said slowly, trying desperately to savour it, "this could mean that there was another female wolf before me… of the same blood…"

Rachel nodded with a smile, "Could be… Marla!" she called, taking the paper in her hands and holding it up, so that she could see it properly. Even the measurements on the diagram were similar. And I was feeling so high all of a sudden: adrenaline was pulsing heavily through my veins, sweat was trickling along the length of my back, my foot was about to worry a hole through Marla's carpet as I waited impatiently for her to come. All because I had the slightest hint of hope that they would finally say, "Ah, yes, Leah, you _can _have children." That was all I wanted to hear, really, and it wasn't much.

Marla walked into the living room slowly, and eyed us sceptically. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Rachel shrugged, but she held out the paper for her to take it, "but we found something. Read it."

I watched as her eyes darted across the page quickly, reading and processing the information in mere seconds. Then, she looked away, blinked thoroughly and then focused her eyes on us. "They match yours, don't they?" she asked, and I nodded fervently.

"You said there hadn't been a female wolf before…" I said, feeling my smile give way, "you _lied _to me. The Elders… they _all_ lied to me."

"No, no," Marla reassured, coming to sit down between Rachel and I, "it's not that, sweetie. See here?" she asked, pointing to the bottom right corner of the front page, "they only used to number pages when there was a sequence; so there must be another page following it…" she said, looking at me expectantly.

I shook my head, "Don't look at me, Paul found it." At that, both of us looked over at Paul, who was still sifting through the papers, without having noticed what was going on around him. "Paul!" I hissed, when he wouldn't look away.

"What?" he moaned.

"Find the page that follows this one," I said, pointing to the paper in Marla's hand. Reluctantly, he started going through the papers, mumbling silent profanities whilst he did so.

"There's supposed to be the number three at the bottom-right corner," Marla offered, and finally, Paul held up a paper, and handed it over to her. She immediately started to read it, but she held the paper away from me so that I would not see. I tried, desperately, to see, but eventually, I gave up and fell back against the sofa with a thud. I folded my arms across my chest, and watched as Paul made faces across from me.

"What the hell, Paul?" I asked, when his facial expressions became too weird to contain. But before he got a chance to answer me, Marla's hand shot out and hit me smack in the middle of my chest. "What?" I yelled, annoyed by the stinging pain that ran up and down my upper body.

She gasped, and closed her eyes. I looked over at Paul but he too was staring over at her, with his brows raised in confusion.

"This _was _a female wolf, Leah," she started, and I cut her off, too excited to even care that there was a second part to what she was going to say.

"And?" I breathed quickly, feeling my hands start to shake with the intensity of it all. "Isn't that proof enough?"

Marla looked at me with I could only perceive as pity in her eyes, and she held the paper towards me and pointed at a part of it. Then, she started to read aloud.

"After, the female was summoned to the Elders and was examined. A ceremony was prepared for the novelty, in which she was fed, then laid down on the same table on which she had eaten. Her throat was slit and her body was drained of the blood.

The female was then dismembered into several parts, each of which was burned at different fires set up around the reservation. It was ensured that the body parts became ashes, then they were thrown off a cliff above First Beach. The Elders had issued this order as they feared that she was an omen…"

"Stop…" I pleaded, with tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe that the only female wolf recorded in history had been killed so inhumanely. I couldn't believe how close I'd gotten to knowing my fate, and now, I'd just struck an new dead end.

"I'm sorry, Lee," Rachel said softly, and her hand found its way onto my back, and she started rubbing soothing circles, trying to console me. But I was far from inconsolable now. I was enraged, immersed in anger, _pure anger_, for everything I had just lost. I pushed Rachel away and I was up on my feet immediately, pacing around the sofas.

"Why would they do that?" I asked, wiping my hands over my face.

"Leah, she was the first ever female wolf, and all the others were male. _Of course _they feared her. I don't blame them: they wanted to get rid of the pack- spare the life of one and sacrificing that of many, or sacrificing one for the greater good? It's logical…"

"_I don't care!"_ I interrupted, "They could've at _least_ killed her in a more decent way. She was innocent… and her death was bloody…"

"Come on, Clearwater, where'd you go?" Paul interjected, and he earned one of my renowned glares. How could he even _think _of saying something like that _now?_ "Sheesh, okay."

I closed my eyes, and sighed. "So, I'm back to fucking square one."

As I opened my eyes, I saw Marla nodding in agreement. "I'm sorry, Leah."

I walked past them all, and headed for the front door. "Everyone is," I said, before I stepped out, into the cool La Push air. I broke into my usual stride, a comfortable one, but just fast enough to get me home in a few minutes. I was happy to be home again, the only place where I could just close off the whole world and think of myself, only.

But I was woefully wrong.

I stepped through the front door, closing it slowly behind me, and I followed my mother's scent into the kitchen, where she was sitting rigidly at the kitchen table with her arms folded neatly before her. And in front of her, was a dainty little envelope, still closed.

"What's this?" I asked, as I took it into my hands and slipped the back open. My mom didn't answer, but instead, kept her eyes steady on my hands as I pulled out the paper inside. I almost squashed the paper when I took it out, but I managed to stop myself just before I did so. Things just couldn't get much worse today…

_You are cordially invited to celebrate _

_the wedding of_

_Emily Young_

_and _

_Samuel Uley_

_On Sunday the 23__rd__ of April_

_At one o'clock_

_Cullen grounds, then followed by a reception_


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey, it's me... again :) But, you don't have an excuse to yell at me and/or pummel me for being the worst writer on fanfiction, because *drum roll* I have a new chapter (finally!)**

**It's nothing special, just a filler on what's going on on our little reservation ;)**

**But I hope you like it anyway!**

* * *

Chapter 23

Leah Clearwater

"Go away, Mom," I muttered as the knocking on my bedroom door continued.

"It's me," Seth called, and he turned the knob until he could step inside. He closed the door behind him, then leaned against it and folded his arms across his chest. I guess, what he was seeing was something that would be expected of me: I was becoming quite a predictable person lately, and that was something that was really annoying me. "Why are you doing this, Leah?"

I sighed, and put the knife away. I kicked the scraps of the cast around on the floor, and shrugged. "Something I've been wanting to do for an _extremely_ long time."

"Destroy the cast Jacob made for you? Leah, come on… what happened between you two? Mom's worried," he coaxed, moving to sit on my messed-up bed.

"She's _worried?_ Yeah? Since when?" I muttered bitterly, pulling out my desk chair and settling onto it.

"Lee… stop it. But seriously, what happened with you and Jake? He's been acting awkward around you and you've been kind of avoiding him pretty good…"

"You picked up on that, didn't you?" I smirked, knowing that it would be impossible to lie to Seth; he was like the annoying little sister I never had- he'd get to the bottom of everything, _always_. No use lying, only to get caught.

"It's kind of obvious, Lee. C'mon, you can tell me… I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Promise?" Seth nodded with one of his heart-warming smiles, then I just couldn't resist him. I just didn't know I was going to start: for one, I was going to kill him by just _telling _him… if he didn't die, then Jacob's life was going to be hanging by a thread if I told. But something in my head was screaming 'Tell him, he wants to help'… which made sense, sort of. I had told Alice and Rosalie, but it just wasn't the same as telling someone who would take any ounce of pain and hold it in, just for you. Rachel was a no no, my mom neither…

"Jacob and I…" I stuttered, feeling the awkwardness rise up between us like a huge bubble that was trying to wedge itself between my brother and I. I swallowed, trying to reduce the bubble, but it was still there: extremely annoying, extremely frustrating. "We slept together," I blurted out suddenly, probably because I had gotten fed up with keeping everything bottled up inside me.

I watched Seth as his face contorted into masks I had never seen before: shock, anger, confusion and anger again… I didn't utter a single word before he did, to afraid that I'd strike an even deeper nerve if I did so.

"You did?" he said calmly after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

Then, it was my turn to be confused. I had expected Seth to explode, to give me a lecture about getting hurt all over again, but I guess he was changing more than I was. He was growing up, maturing… and he was reminding me, more and more each day, of our dad. He used to be so calm and care free, always facing a problem with an even, clear mind; I'd gotten my fierce temper from my mom.

I nodded, and he smiled. "Well, I thought you'd imprinted on him or something… how are you?"

"Me?" I asked, getting even more and more confused, "I just found out that the first female wolf was brutally murdered before she was even given a chance to live, Paul thought I was going to hurt Rachel and Emily and Sam's invitation has just arrived, which just makes everything so much better, doesn't it?"

Seth remained composed as he listened to me set off on one of my rants, and he waited patiently until I stopped talking. "Strange how Sam decided on having the wedding at the Cullens' place, huh?"

I shrugged. "I'm best friends with two leeches now, aren't I? Did you expect that?"

He grinned and sat on his hands, "Honestly? You're more open-minded than Sam is… easier to influence, I guess. But apart from _you _becoming best friends with Alice and Rosalie, apparently, Emily is also getting chummy with them… you see how hate can turn into mutual respect?"

"What are you trying to say, Seth? That I should go to Sam and Emily's wedding out of _mutual respect?_ Mutual respect would have been not sending the goddamn invitation in the first place-"

"All I'm saying is that you should be the bigger person, Leah," he muttered softly, eyeing me with his warm, brown eyes.

"I have been acting like the bigger person for the past few years, Seth, and it hasn't been working out for me at all…"

"Maybe you should try, for one last time-"

"I'm tired of trying Seth, and always getting the blame."

"Then what should I say, huh?" he yelled suddenly, getting to his feet before me. "I'm sick and tired of everyone trampling all over me because 'Seth doesn't mind, it doesn't matter'… do you think it's easy to take over when Jake isn't around? Do you think its-"

"What?" I interjected, standing up as well, "When Jake's not around? When was he not around?

Seth had realised what he had just revealed: I guess, Jacob had told him not to spill the beans… and now, I had half a mind to track down that fucker and give him a piece of my mind.

My brother shrugged, as if he hadn't done anything wrong. "It's nothing…"

"The hell it is," I said through clenched teeth and Seth slowly closed his eyes and scrunched up his face. He'd probably already known what I was going to do, so he didn't even try to stop me from leaving my room, running down the stairs and darting through the front door without a second glance. It had never occurred to me that Jacob would have preferred leaving Seth in charge, rather than asking _me, _the _beta,_ for help. Maybe it was my over-sensitive pride, or my short temper… I didn't know, and quite frankly, I didn't care. I just couldn't understand what had made me incompetent enough not to be able to take care a bunch of pups on my own. And, what was so important to Jacob that he'd risk leaving the pack alone…

"Where's Jacob?" I asked as I stepped through Billy's front door. He wheeled out of the kitchen then jerked his thumb towards the back door.

"He went over to Bella's… I think he said she wanted to talk to him? I don't know… that kid is mind-boggling sometimes…" Billy mumbled as I walked past him, straight through the back door and into the cold. I didn't want to let all my anger out on Billy; the old man deserved far more than that.

And so, for the first time in a couple of weeks, I was walking back up to the Cullens' house, winding through the underbrush and past trees I hadn't seen in a long time now. I kept my head down and my breathing even, trying to convince myself that lashing out at Jacob wouldn't fix things, but only make them substantially worse.

Apparently, the Cullens had built a fence around their grounds, which I had to jump over in order to get onto their land… maybe they were trying to keep something out? I shrugged, but froze when I saw what they were probably trying to keep _in_: a huge, white gazebo had been get up on the other side of the river, close enough to the house for a cream carpet to lead from the back patio to the gazebo itself. I stood there as Alice and Esme emerged from the house, each with probably half a dozen chairs in their arms.

They caught my scent, and Alice straightened up with a small smile on her face, then waved.

"Hey!" she called, and started moving towards me, "We haven't seen you in a while!"

I blushed slightly, ashamed that I had abandoned them after all they had done for me. "I've been busy lately," I lied, saying what seemed to be my standard response to _everyone_ nowadays.

"Well," Alice sighed, slipping her arm around my waist and leading me over to where Esme was standing, "it's good that you're back… we're preparing things for Emily's wedding…" She paused, pulling her mouth up at the corner and eyeing me hesitantly, "I don't think you'd want to help much, will you?"

I smiled, "Ah, you know me so well… actually, I'm looking for Jacob; Billy said he'd come over? That he's talking to Bella?"

Esme nodded, "I'm not sure if they're in here, though… you should check."

"Thanks," I said, grinning brighter as I walked towards the open back door and walking inside. There seemed to be no one there, downstairs, so I decided to look upstairs, where the only occupied room was Carlisle's study. I don't really know what compelled me to open the door to his study, but there was some sort of pull, and a little voice inside my head that told me 'Open it, talk to him'. So I did.

"Hey Carlisle," I said, as I stepped into the dim room and closed the door behind me. I was momentarily blinded by the darkness in the room, because the curtains were closed, and there were no lights on in the study. I stood there, unable to move because I was afraid I would step into/ break something in doing so.

"Hello, Leah," he answered back, and I could tell from where his voice was coming from. Slowly, I dragged my hands against the wall, until my fingers bumped into the switch and I flicked it on, filling the room with light and blinding myself again. I rubbed fiercely at my eyes, until I could see Carlisle's motionless body sitting on a chair and staring at the now lighted bulb above him.

"What's with the emoness, Carlisle?" I asked, pulling a chair up to sit in front of him.

He shrugged, and lifted his hand to cover his face. "I'm thinking, Leah," he said slowly, turning his face towards me and scorching me with his burning, butterscotch eyes; I'd never thought I'd see so much emotion in one man's eyes. And then, I simply couldn't look away, because I _knew _in my heart of hearts, that something was wrong with Carlisle.

"Is something wrong, Carlisle?" I asked, leaning forward in my chair.

He turned away at that moment, and looked at the wall before him, with drooping eyes, as if filled with sadness. "I'm troubled… ever since Reneesme's death, it's as if my responsibility as a father has trebled. And I can't take it at all… it is unbelievably painful to see Edward and Bella in such pain…"

I remained in silence for a few seconds, mainly because I had nothing to say to him. Whatever I knew about death, I knew it from my selfish perspective, that of the one who gets left behind… and I had no idea how I could help him. I sincerely couldn't imagine Carlisle bitching about at everything single thing everyone said or did: that just wasn't his thing. I folded my arms over my chest, and waited until he looked at me again.

"You need a remedy," I whispered, then I got up and grabbed his hand from where it was resting on his thigh. Yes, it was uncomfortable to be holding a vampire's hand, but something inside me just told me to help him… after all, I owed him like a million favours. I dragged him out of the study, down the stairs and out of the front door, into the afternoon sun, that caught in his skin and made it sparkle like diamonds- no matter how much time I spent with this vampires, I simply couldn't get over the fact that they shone up like a disco ball whenever they stepped into the sun.

"Where are we going, Leah?" he asked sullenly as I pulled him into the forest that surrounded their house.

"Just trust me; you need this," I reassured him, surprising myself at how sure I sounded of something I hadn't entirely thought out. I intended to hunt with Carlisle, you know, to ease some of the strain. I let go of his hand, and turned to face him with a smile on my face. "C'mon Carlisle, _go_, hunt, let loose."

He kept staring at me, awestruck, before he nodded and rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows. I watched as he stood still for a few seconds, taking in his surroundings, much like I did when I wanted to kick one of my pack brother's asses. But of course, Carlisle was much more graceful. In a flash, he disappeared from before me, almost invisible, and darted between the trees, with an agility that left me amazed.

I sprinted to catch up, and I stopped when I came across him, bent over the writhing body of a deer. I looked away- my stomach couldn't handle watching the deer in pain, because I knew very well that someplace else, that deer could've been a wolf, could've been _me_.

He wiped his bloody mouth on the back of his hand with a small smile, and this time, I sprinted off, jumping over bushes and boulders until we reached the borderline and kept on going, past familiar trees and faint scents, until we reached the salty smell of the La Push cliffs, high above First Beach.

I bent over, holding onto my knees and trying to regain my breath. Carlisle walked over to the edge, peering over to look at the fierce sea beneath.

"Have you ever been here?" I asked when I could breath and function properly again.

He shook his head. "Honestly, I never knew there were cliffs in La Push…it's amazing to be up here," he breathed, looking out, at the open sea before us.

"I grew up here," I admitted, settling down on the ground beside him and grabbing a blade of grass between my fingers. It was smooth to touch, and I plucked it out of the ground and started to tear it up into tiny pieces. Carlisle soon sat down beside me, his eyes still troubled, like before. "Something is bothering you," I stated, and eyed him as I continued to cut up the blades of grass where I was sitting.

"Everything is bothering me lately," he said softly, placing his hands over mine, then opening my fingers up to let the pieces of grass fly freely in the breeze.

"Even grass," I said smiling, and ripping another blade out. He rolled his eyes when he saw that I was persisting, and turned his face away.

"I'm afraid," he said suddenly, though I wasn't really sure who he was talking to. He then turned to look at me and I nodded slowly, "Its as if everyone is just falling apart, like we're not a family anymore… I don't know, it might just be me, you know, but when I talk to the others, it just feels strained…"

"But everyone's just going through a rough time, Carlisle… you have to give them some space, you know, let them take it all in for a while," I said slowly, choosing my words carefully.

"Don't I get a chance to take it all in, too?"

"But that's in your head, Carlisle. They are letting you mourn. Everyone mourns differently, you know?"

"I _do _know… I want to mourn. I'm just afraid of letting the others down, more than I have already…"

"Don't worry… I've been letting people down for years now; you can't get much worse than I have," I said with a sympathetic smile.

He paused for a few seconds, so I lapsed into silence too. We were like clockwork: when he talked, I talked, otherwise, I didn't utter a single word. I guess I was getting used to this 'being nice to people' thing, finally.

"You know how many times I've jumped off cliffs during these three hundred years I've been a vampire?" he asked, then he smiled to himself. "Of course, it was all in vain, because each time I jumped, I never managed to drown myself… no matter the strength of the sea, or how long I remained under water. It's better to just die sometimes, to just leave this earth once and for all…"

I didn't dare talk then. I was getting a clear interpretation of what I sounded like when I went on one of my rants. "But I could never leave my beautiful family now, could I?" he asked, and he turned to look at me again with a smile.

I smiled brighter, but Carlisle was no longer looking at me. His eyes were looking past me, and when I followed his trail of sight, I realized he was looking at something on First Beach. Well, more appropriately, some_one_ on First Beach. I sniffed, and smiled, when I realized that Quil and Claire were there.

"You can go, you know," Carlisle urged, "I'll go back home and help Alice and Esme with the preparations… make myself useful, if nothing."

I patted his shoulder gently, "It was nice talking to you, Carlisle."

He nodded as I stood up and brushed the imaginary dirt off of my sweats. "Nicer talking to you, Leah. Thank you."

I moved towards the edge, then lifted my arms up, and pushed myself off of the ground, into the billowing waves below. The water was cool and fresh, and when I broke through the surface again, Carlisle was looking down at me from the top of the cliff, with a tentative smile on his face. I then began to swim towards shore, reminiscing the sweet feel of the sea around me; something I hadn't felt in quite a while now.

"Leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Claire called as soon as I was close enough to hear her.

"Hey Claire-bear," I said, rising up to stand on my feet, and shaking my head. Quil was standing on shore with a towel in his hand. I eyed it as I moved towards them. "Did you see me coming?" I asked, nodding towards.

Quil laughed. "No, we were sitting on it actually… thought you might want it to dry off…"

"Well, how considerate of you, ," I said with a smile, as I wrapped the towel around me and sat down on the sand. Even though I was still wet, Claire still came and rested her head on my lap, letting me run my hands through her soft, dark curls. "How are you?"

"Okay, I guess. A little annoyed by the sudden increase in voices in my head when I'm on patrol, but other than that, Paul's doing his best to shut the hell up."

"He should. I'm Beta and I'm pretty sure I won't mind abusing my position to knock some sense into his thick head. Even though it probably won't work…" I said with a snort, and I rolled my eyes.

"How are _you_?"

I shrugged. "I just had some therapy time with doctor leech, and I'm surprisingly feeling very good about it. I guess I'm taking a turn to the good side. I don't know… It feels weird to listen to a vampire complain about his perfect, stinking rich life. I mean, I know Reneesme's death is a harsh blow… oh, who am I kidding? I was like that when my dad died, no? Broken, bitchy…" I sighed, and ran my hand through my hair. All the while, Quil was silent, his eyes trained on my face. After a few minutes of utter silence, except for Claire's deep breaths on my lap, Quil smiled, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"We love you because you're bitchy, Leah… that's just you. I mean, would you imagine Rachel handling being the Beta of a pack of mentally unstable guys like us? I don't think so, and you're as close to having any balls as any woman is ever gonna get," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "You're coming to the wedding, right?"

I made a face. "Like I have a fucking choice. If I don't go, that'll be just another notch under my name… People would have even more to talk about me if I don't go; 'Oh, Leah, she ruined little Emily's wedding, that poor thing…'. It would be typical, no? Expected…" I could feel the anger bubbling inside of me, but I calmed myself before I could even get close to phasing. I couldn't possibly harm little Claire, so I closed my eyes, and let the calming sound of the sea fill my ears.

"Are you going with someone?" he asked, suddenly, and my eyes snapped open. I tilted my face to look at him, and I could feel the questions and the curiosity burning in my eyes.

"Aren't you going to be a best man?" I asked, between small laughs.

Quil shook his head, a grin lingering around the corners of his lips. "No way in hell will Sam let me be best man. I'm officially 'The Traitor' now… and in truth, I'd never enjoyed the fact that I was going to be Sam's best man. Leave that to Paul to fuck things up, not me."

"And yet, Sam's having his wedding on the Cullens' land, which is pretty ironic if you ask me," I interjected with a smug smile on my face. It _was_ ironic that Sam would give in so easily to having the wedding at the Cullens' place, but then again, it wasn't going to be a problem for me, personally. I had grown used to the reeking scents of the house and the vampires inside.

"You still haven't answered my question," he stated bluntly, his eyes glued to my face.

"I'm not really going with any one, per se… Aren't you coming with Claire?"

Quil looked at me in disdain, then shook his head. "Seriously, you're saying that I should go to Sam's wedding with a four- year old? Come on, Leah, did you hit your head last night? Besides, Claire is going to be flower girl, so she's going to be very occupied with the little ring bearer they've matched up with her," he said, gently stroking Claire's cheek. "And besides, I definitely won't mind going to the wedding with the hottest girl on th-"

Claire giggled as I shook my fist and Claire cracked his nose back into place. "Shit," he muttered as he wiped the blood from his nose and mouth.

"You don't flatter a girl by saying how hot she is, Quil," I mumbled, pulling Claire back onto my lap and toying with her hair.

"I got that," he groaned, but he smiled soon enough, and looked back at me. "Still haven't answered my question!" he pressed again, then re-wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "C'mon, Lee, what have you got to lose?"

I thought about it for a few minutes, trying to find alternate options, but none came to mind, and honestly, if I were to go to the wedding with someone, the only reasonable choice would be Quil. So I smiled and nodded. "Sure," I said, a smile spreading across my face, and he shook me slightly, before he pushed me in the sand, and laughed out loud.

"God, Quil," I groaned, before I got up to my feet and brushed the sand from my shorts and shirt, before I took off, running after him across the beach, feeling like a child all over again.

-:-

So here it was.

_The wedding._

I groaned as I got out of bed, to be greeted by my mother's beaming smile as I passed her in the hall. Seth was locked up in the bathroom getting ready, and Lord knows how long he was going to take, so I decided to get my clothes ready. Hell, if I was going to the wedding, then I was going to make sure I looked damn good doing it. Alice, Rosalie and Rachel had helped with picking out the perfect dress for the wedding, and I had to say, it was gorgeous. They'd warned me not to choose white, and like the good cousin that I was, I'd agreed to wear a beige, Greek style dress, which was really comfortable. I spread it out on the bed, and took out my shoes, which were already killing my feet just by looking at them. I prepared the little make-up that I was going to wear, then I grabbed my underwear and headed for the bathroom.

I banged hard on the bathroom door after a few minutes of waiting. "Seth, open this godforsaken door _now_!" I yelled, as I let my fist fall to my side and sighed in annoyance.

"God, Lee, wait a second… I'm getting ready!" he groaned from the other side of the door.

"Mom!" I called, and that simple cry brought back memories of when we were younger, squabbling over all the little things that had seemed so important back then.

I heard her sigh and drop the things she had in her hands onto the bed. "Seth, you've been," she paused, looking at her watch- I presumed- , "already fifteen minutes in there. What the _hell_ are you doing?"

The water went off in the bathroom, and Seth pulled the door open, letting a huge cloud of steam pour into the hallway. He glared at me as he stepped past me, but I just stuck my tongue out at him, then closed the door behind me.

It didn't take us that long to get ready, but of course, since I was going with Quil, I was going to have to wait for him to come pick me up, as apparently, my mother couldn't wait any longer and she just had to get to the wedding. Honestly, it came as no surprise to me: Emily had been much more of a daughter to her than I had been… so here I was, sitting in our bland, empty living room, waiting for Quil to come and take me to my nightmare.

"Hey Clearwater… you ready?" Quil asked, beaming beside the open front door.

I sighed. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess…" I said, as I lifted myself off of the couch and ran my hands down the dress, evening out the creases. Quil was staring, which annoyed me, to say the least, but I did my best to smile and loop my arm through his as he led me out of the house and closed the door behind him.

After a few seconds of silence, Quil decided to say something. "You look great, Lee," he said, in that soft, Quil-like manner, that was so subtle I sometimes forgot to appreciate it. I smiled as brightly as I could as he helped me into his car, then we were off, towards the Cullens home, that had been heavily decorated by Alice. _Heavily decorated_ implied that, just like Bella's wedding had been in Jacob's memories, Emily's wedding was as if they had pulled out Cinderella's wedding out of the story book. _Literally_. Of course, there weren't any horses, but apart from that, everything else was the same.

Quil let out an impressed sigh and smiled. "Wow… this is _beyond_ over the top," he commented as we stepped out of the car and started making our way around the house.

"Well, Alice _was_ the wedding planner… this is kind of what you expect," I continued, already feeling my mood darken substantially. I didn't want to be the glum bitch at the wedding, but I honestly had no control over my emotions. I couldn't stop the regret and the jealousy from coursing through my veins, however much I wanted to suppress them.

"Here we go," he said, as we rounded the corner, and were engulfed in the immense hype that was my cousin's wedding.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey :)! It's me again... and it's been _quite_ a long time too -.-' (sorry!)**

**So, the first part of this chapter was inspired mostly by 'Cosmic Love' by Florence and the Machine... you should give it a listen- it's ah-mazing!**

**On with the story!**

* * *

Chapter 24

Breathe, Leah, breathe, I kept telling myself, over and over and over again. It was simple really, but at that specific moment in time, it seemed extremely hard. Every breath seemed to loom before me like some impossible task, and overcoming it was a nightmare. I was crying too bloody much to control myself…

I clutched the bottle tighter in my hands as I trudged past trees in the dead of night, feeling the branches and leaves crunch beneath my bare feet- I had left my shoes behind, at the wedding. _The dreaded wedding. _Sure, I'd tried to keep strong and everything, but it just hadn't worked out at all. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, walking aimlessly around the huge trees around me. It was too hard to bear, too hurtful. How could they expect me to attend their wedding as if everything was okay? No, it just didn't work that way…

So here I was, alone, crying my eyes out and sipping on the vodka bottle that seemed to be the only thing keeping me company. Its taste was bitter, and yet the bitterness was a sort of solace to me. The liquid tinkled in the bottle as I swayed it with each step I took forward, or backward, or sideways… I wasn't entirely sure.

Emily had looked beautiful, rightfully so. Sam was bursting with pride with his bride, and so was everyone else at the wedding. They had pushed me away, away from the wedding: them… and Jacob. Of course, Jacob Black, who was obviously going to be there. I was a fool for saying yes in the first place. He'd smiled and tried to talk to me, but I'd escaped before he'd managed to talk to me, the pathetic fool that I am.

I sobbed harder, feeling the tears drip like poison onto the leaves of a lily, staining it forever, and they slowly fell onto my cheeks, fresh yet heavy on my skin.

The moon filtered sometimes through the heavy growth of trees, and it too was a comfort. I liked the moon; so placid and quiet, and understated. And yet, so beautiful amidst something so vast and dark. Suddenly, I stopped, my feet unwilling to go any further, as I could see the moon perfectly between two trees, throwing it's light onto the world below. It was so majestic; I couldn't turn my gaze away from it. I dropped the bottle, hearing it clink softly on the ground with a muted thud as I stared up at the moon. So beautiful…

I started swaying slowly, from side to side, watching as some leaves fell from the trees above and danced about in the air. I don't know how, but I soon found myself dancing, jumping around to music that was only inside my head, and in the whispering trees around me. I closed my eyes, brushing past the trees, feeling like a child again, back when I was not burdened with problems far beyond my power. Back when everything was simple and all my happiness depended on whether or not Emily or Rachel or Jacob or Quil were friends with me that day. Back then…

I opened my eyes, and found myself at the opening of a clearing, where everything was dappled with the majestic light of the moon. The leaves were a sort of sickly white, that was beautiful, nevertheless, and trees, the grass, the occasional flowers here and there… I plucked a couple of bee orchids as I walked towards the centre, and slowly weaved them into my hair, before I kept on moving, dancing as I did so.

My eyes were still glued to the moon hanging above me, and I was beginning to see a small face to it: the face of a woman, a smiling, warm woman: loving and gentle. I smiled too, and then I couldn't stop whispers from falling out of my mouth.

"The stars… the moon… They have all been blown out… you left me in the dark… no dawn, no day… I'm always in this twilight… In the shadow of your heart," I uttered softly, raising my hands up to try to clutch the moon from the sky and cradle against my chest. I tilted my head back, to look, in awe, at the huge, looming sky above me, the twinkling stars.

I opened my arms wide, and closed my eyes as the tears returned and fell along the sides of my face.

"I took the stars from my eyes…and then I made a map… and knew that somehow I could find my way back…then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too… so I stayed in the darkness with you," I cried aloud, louder than I had ever sang before, curling my hands into tight fists and waving them about at my sides, feeling the rage and frustration course through my veins, as thick as blood.

Slowly, I fell to my knees, not caring about the dress I had taken so much care in before, and slowly, I sat back, and stretched my legs, still looking up at the moon. Some part of my brain knew I was drunk, but I couldn't care less as I lowered myself onto the grass slowly, and opened my eyes as wide as they could go, in awe.

The silence was golden, pristine, and I enjoyed it, reminiscing every second of this valuable, quiet time, that was mine and mine alone. I smiled to myself and listened to myself breathe, and the trees rustle in the gentle April breeze.

I'm not entirely sure whether or not I fell asleep at some point, but there is a certain span of time I do not remember. So, I guess, the sleep took over. I opened my eyes once again, the moon still there, a reminder, a safe pillar. I watched it for a few seconds, before I froze completely.

I was partially drunk, but my wolf senses were still as acute and sharp as ever. And there was someone breathing deeply close by: not close to _me_, but close enough. Slowly and hesitantly, I turned my head to one side, and watched as Jacob lifted the vodka bottle I had dropped earlier on to his lips and drank from it, his eyes watching the sky as well. I couldn't tear my gaze away: he was even more beautiful in the light of the moon before me, so dazzling, so mesmerizing.

He seemed to sense me watching him, as he lowered the bottle to his side again and turned to look my way. I wasn't compelled to look away, as I usually did nowadays whenever he looked at me. No, I felt confident as I lay here, on the cool grass, in the middle of the night. Slowly, his lips pulled up into a perfect smile that was unbelievably comforting. Smiling myself, I turned my head back to look the moon. He shuffled over to me, kicking off his shoes as he did so, then lay down beside me, again, not so close, but close enough.

I did not move, or say anything.

I lay there, in the tranquil silence as before, and Jacob seemed to respect that, and remained like me himself. Again, I succumbed to the beauty of the night, taking in and appreciating things I had never appreciated before. But eventually, my need to talk won me over, and I turned back to look at him. His nose was outlined perfectly against the light, his throat, his jaw, the set of his eyes… I blinked.

"How'd you find me?" I asked, my voice low, not wanting to ruin the beautiful silence around me with my voice.

He shrugged. "Your scent was still fresh… I sort of followed you," he confessed with a small smile.

I nodded, tilting my face up to lick the light of the moon and closing my eyes in the process. "That's reasonable."

He didn't say anything. He started drumming his fingers over his chest, and I noticed he'd ditched the jacket and was only wearing a shirt now.

"It's a nice night tonight," he commented suddenly, turning to face me and I smiled.

"Yeah… a quiet night," I added pleasantly, the smile filtering into my voice. And finally my curiosity won me over, and I just had to ask. "How's the wedding?"

"Good. Your mom was kind of pissed that you left off… but other than that, everything was okay. Billy was having a blast dancing with Claire…Rachel and Paul were already drunk, and believe me, I _do not_ want to be my dad tonight- who knows what they're going to do once they get to our house…" he shuddered and grinned impishly, "the Cullens seemed somewhat fine, too. Well, as fine as they're ever going to be."

"Oh, yeah…" I mumbled, remembering the Cullens, and Reneesme. The tears prickled at the backs of my eyes, and threatened to fall again, but I gnashed my teeth together and held them back.

"Why did you leave, Lee?" he asked slowly. Usually, with questions like these, I felt pressured, _forced_ to answer it, but with this one, I felt completely at ease. I could, or could not answer.

"I wasn't comfortable… and I've just re-discovered my love for the moon," I stated grinning, too.

"It is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah… how's patrol?" I asked.

"Not much to do, you know. The Cullens are watching their grounds and Alice is keeping tabs on the Denalis… and without any vampires to look out for, there really isn't much else to do. I've cut the younger wolves down to twice a week each, because they're not really needed right now."

"Don't slack off, Jake," I warned with a sigh, "You _really_ don't want to get caught on one foot with a bunch of mad vamps."

"Yeah, yeah, I know… it just seems cruel ending these poor guys' lives at the age of fourteen."

"That happened to us, and nobody minded…" I mumbled.

"With us it was different. We didn't have any older wolves, like us, when we were younger," he contradicted, turning round to face me.

"Lucky for us then, huh?" I asked grimly, pouting slightly.

"I guess… how's Marla?"

I shrugged. I hadn't visited her in a couple of days now, and I knew it was mean of me for not going over to her once in a while, but I just… "Last time I went over, Paul almost killed me."

"Yeah," he said with a slight chuckle, "Rachel told me about that. What did she do to you?"

"She was researching some shit about old wolves and stuff…" I stopped, and stuttered on my own words. "I'm not the first female wolf in our history."

His head shot up and he looked at me in shock. "Paul found some papers… our Elders described, in the greatest detail, how they killed her because they thought she was a bad omen. Those motherfuckers…"

"They killed her? Jesus Christ…" he mumbled covering his eyes with his hand, and rubbing at them fiercely.

"Yeah… How are the Cullens, huh?"

"Well… Bella has gone mute; she isn't talking to anybody, and when she does, she just yells and grumbles and complains. She's never happy anymore. Carlisle seems sort of better, he mentioned that he talked to you, right? Esme wants to thank you for that, he seems much better now. Rosalie and Alice have re-bought everyone's wardrobe once, twice, three times and Emmett and Jasper seem to getting better. But it's still as if you're walking into a morgue: nobody smiles, and when they do, you can tell it's fake-"

"Fine, I get it. But that's still no reason to ditch the pack and put all the responsibility on Seth," I snapped, turning my head round to glare at him. "No?"

"I didn't ditch the pack."

"That's not what Seth said. And you know Seth won't make shit up to get you, his idol, into trouble."

Jacob made a face and his forehead creased in thought. "Leah… you're never around anymore. I wasn't going to call on you to watch over the pack for me-"

"Whilst you cared for menopausal Bella. Yeah right. I don't know, Jacob, telephones exist, no? My brother talks to me and he sees me everyday. Quil talks to me, Embry, Jared, Rachel… and you _honestly_ didn't have the capability to pass on the message to me?"

"Leah," he growled, and it seemed as if his temper was verging on throwing an Alpha command my way. "_You_ don't talk to me anymore, you no longer phase and patrol when you're supposed to patrol… do you think I enjoy taking your shifts and having to listen to those immature kids double the time because you decide not to show up?"

Now, it was my turn to remain silent. Every word he said was true. I hadn't been going on patrols lately for the simple reason that I was avoiding Jacob, and yes, that was a petty excuse. I turned the other way, and watched the grass move calmly in the breeze.

"We agreed things wouldn't get awkward…" he said softly and then, I snapped.

"What the _fuck_ did you expect, Jacob Black? That us sleeping together was _normal?_ That there would be no consequences? Are you out of your mind? Did you have your brain re-wired or something? Don't you think about _anything_?" I screeched, getting to my feet, and balling my hands up into tight fists.

Jacob followed suit and towered high above me. "Shut the hell up, Clearwater. If you _really_ didn't want things to get awkward, you would have put that night in the past and forgot about it completely-"

"But I can't do that! Every time I close my eyes to sleep I'm tormented about what I've done, what a slut I am and how in hell I'm going to fix things between us!" I yelled, letting the tears go finally. I couldn't keep it in anymore. All this anger and pent up frustration was not doing me any good.

He breathed deeply and looked at me with those meaningful, dark eyes. "You're not a slut, Leah," he coaxed, his voice as smooth as the breeze around us. "You never were one and you never will be."

"I slept with my Alpha!"

He didn't say anything, but simply walked towards me and wrapped his huge arms around my waist, hugging me to him. At first, I was shocked, but when I finally accepted what was going on, I pushed my hands hard against his chest, shoving him away, like some sort disease. He didn't seem shocked that I'd pushed him away… I guess he expected that of me now, but he did seem irritated. "Leah…" he pleaded, his voice soft and as gentle as could be.

"Leave me alone, Jacob," I said through clenched teeth as I backed away, wrapping my arms around my stomach to keep myself whole.

"No, I will _not_ leave you alone. You're my Beta; I have to know what's wrong. I have to help—dammit, I _want_ to help you," he explained, moving closer with each word he uttered.

From somewhere deep inside me, a growl erupted: a fierce, menacing growl that sent Jacob ten paces back in fright. He stared at me with wide eyes as I loosened my arms from my waist and pointed a finger at him.

"Now you want to help? _Now?"_ I asked, my voice edgy and scary, even to me. "_NOW?"_ I screamed, then Jacob lunged at me, tackling me to the ground and covering my mouth with his huge palm. I kept on screaming against his skin even though he held it harder when I did so.

"Stop it Leah, they'll think I'm killing you…"

I screamed harder, scraping and burning my throat as I did so, but then, when I realized how stupid this really was, I stopped and breathed in a huge gulp of air. Slowly, he peeled his hand away from my mouth and rolled off of my body. I breathed in properly, and closed my eyes for the millionth time this night.

"You're a bastard, know that, Black? Do you know that?"

"Don't start with me again Leah, please, just shut up."

"Leave if you want to be in peace. I'll do whatever the hell I want… now that I'm thinking about it, leaving the pack would probably be a brilliant idea."

"Yeah? And who's gonna help you with your issues when you need it? Who's going to patch up your fights for you? Who's gonna smoothen things out for you when you lose your temper or something? Face it, no one can leave this pack… it's a lifelong commitment, Leah, everyone sticks up for everyone else, everyone cares for everyone. It's simple really."

We remained silent for a little while, then suddenly, the silence between us was broken by a sharp intake of breath. My head snapped to the side, in the direction of the sound. And there, looking at us weird was Quil, standing there, with his suit jacket slung over his shoulder.

"What the _hell_?" he asked, and I immediately pushed Jacob off of me. He grunted as he fell back onto his back and covered his eyes. Quil moved towards me, looking over at Jacob with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked me, crouching down beside me and looking at me with wide eyes.

I shrugged. "I'm fine," I said with a small smile, and he slowly held his arm out for me to take it. He pulled me up beside him and I proceeded to brush the dirt from my dress.

"I won't ask what you guys were doing… I don't really care. Just… if you're deciding on doing it again or going any further, rent a room _please_. Just not in the middle of the woods, which every single bloody werewolf is fond of walking through," he warned quietly.

I smiled, and latched my arm onto his. "I think I'm ready to go back now," I said slowly, and both Jacob and Quil nodded. We walked back to the wedding in silence, and I listened intently to the mixture of voices, all happy, elated… most of them drunk. I smiled to myself as we broke through the woods.

"Let's dance," Quil said, and pulled me onto the dance floor, tying his suit jacket around his waist before he placed his hands on my waist and started moving us from side to side.

"This is weird," I mumbled against his chest, but he just laughed.

"It is, _sort of_, but," he said with a smile, "I'm not complaining."

"You're so annoying," I said with a small laugh as I slapped his chest.

His smile disappeared for a few seconds, and his brows furrowed. "May I ask something?"

"Sure."

"Um… what _were_ you guys doing back there?"

I snorted. "I thought you said you didn't care."

"I… oh, come on. Curiosity killed the cat. Now spill."

"We weren't doing anything. I was being an ass, and Jake put me in my place," I mumbled in a low monotone, as low as possible so that only Quil and I could hear. Unfortunately, as I was sweeping my eyes across the vast sea of people, I caught Jacob looking over at us, probably listening in, but I dismissed it, and reveled in the amazing emotion that created in me: oh, sweet pride. And jealousy from Jacob's side. I leaned closer to Quil and beamed up at him.

"Okay…" he drawled out with an impish grin, "whatever you say."

We danced a couple more songs, before we were joined by Claire who wanted to dance with Quil, so I slowly backed away, and went back home.

-:-

"That Caroline girl was nice," my mom said early the next morning. I was pretty hung-over, with a massive headache and all, so I set to making myself a cup of coffee as my mom gushed over every single person that was at the wedding. Of course, Emily was the highlight… every single _bloody_ thing she did last night was fucking perfect.

Fucking perfect.

"Caroline?"

"Yes… Emily's second cousin. She was the one with the blue eyes…?"

I winced as I tried to recall the person she was referring to, but I simply couldn't remember her. "No, mom can't remember her."

"Well, she was very nice. She's going to be around for a little while… she said she liked La Push too much, and that a little time away from the Makah will do her good."

"Great," I mumbled, sipping from my coffee cup, absolutely uninterested in what Caroline was going to do.

"Bella and Edward seemed better."

"As better as they'll ever be. Reneesme's been only a few months' dead. I don't expect them to be better yet."

"But still… progress no?" she said as she placed the plates back into the cupboard.

"Whatever."

-:-

I leaned against the counter and folded my arms over my chest. "How's Marla?"

Rachel shrugged, "Pretty good. But she's worrying me sometimes. She forgets things she should know… I don't know what to do. But she seems okay. She doesn't seem worried or pissed that she's forgetting things. Old people usually do that no?"

"I don't know Rache… I wouldn't worry too much about Marla if I were you. She's been living alone for God knows how long, I'm pretty sure she can get by on her own. But, what I really want to know is why I smell Paul all over you, and _more importantly_, why Paul is _here_," I said smugly, wiggling my brows at her as she blushed beet red.

"I'd rather not hear about that," Jacob mumbled as he stepped into the kitchen with us. "I heard enough yesterday night when I played it the fool and came home early… so, yes, please spare me the trauma."

"Will do," I said with a smile, but I grabbed Rachel's shoulder and pinched it lightly, "but you and I are going to _talk_ about it later on."

"Yeah, whatever. Did you enjoy the wedding yesterday?"

"Not as bad as I'd thought it would be, you know? I didn't get so hung-over that I don't remember absolutely anything, but I got drunk enough for me not to remember the painful parts."

"It wasn't so bad. I actually had fun—"

"Yeah, I can assume which was your favourite part," I said rolling my eyes and earning a punch from Rachel and a glare from Jacob.

"You're just gonna keep going at it aren't you?"

"Now that I know that it annoys you, boy… why _should_ I stop?" I retorted with a grin, and he shrugged, pouring himself a glass of juice and draining it in one gulp.

"I should know you well enough," he muttered as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

I beamed at him and he sort of smiled back, though unsurely. I guess he didn't expect me to be so happy, or so nice to him, so I was probably freaking him out. But I was in an unbelievably good mood, all of a sudden. Jacob was about to say something when someone knocked on the door, and I sniffed the air. It was Emily and Sam, surrounded by a cloud of alcohol and someone who I didn't know.

"Come in," Rachel bellowed and they stepped inside.

Emily smiled at all three of us, "Good morning everyone."

"Morning," I mumbled, fishing for a glass and taking the juice carton from Jake's hands.

"Hey," Sam said, stepping into the kitchen and settling down on one of the chairs. "Caroline wanted a tour of the town. So we brought her here."

And Caroline stepped into the kitchen, her large blue eyes searching the room inquisitively. Finally, they settled on Jacob, and eyed him in interest, and he, too, looked back at her in wonder.


	25. Chapter 25

**So, I'm hoping this chapter well clear some problems out with some of you :) The last part of the last chapter seemed to be misleading to some :D So, sorry ;)**

**Beholdeth, Chapter 25 !**

* * *

Chapter 25

Leah Clearwater

"Do you smoke?" Rosalie asked as we were walking aimlessly through the woods.

I snorted. "I don't. But I'm sure a cigarette won't leave any effect on me. I have to try to kill myself as it is, just to get drunk... so no, I don't... why?"

She shrugged and fished for something in her pocket. "Carlisle found these old cigs in his trunk and he gave them to me. Said they were probably still smokeable. Wanna try?"

I smiled. "Why not?" I said, taking one of the cigarettes from the open packet and taking the lighter from her waiting hands. I lit it up, and then held it to my lips, inhaling and taking in the strange, old taste. There was something off about its taste... sort of like... "What is this taste?"

"They're Mexican cigars," she said as she inhaled, a puff of smoke appearing before her mouth, "and they're weird, I know. But you wanted to talk, so why not talk over a little smoke, no?"

"I guess... um... Do you remember Caroline, from the wedding?"

She made a face, but then, she seemed to remember her. "Blue-eyed Indian with insanely curly hair? Yeah, I remember her. What about her?"

I inhaled and let the cigar dangle between my fingers. "She's with Jacob now."

Rosalie froze and eyed me with wide, incomprehensible eyes. "Seriously?"

"Yeah... life fucking sucks," I said, letting my head loll forward as I waited for her to say something, to console me, to make me feel better. She remained silent, occasionally drawing in short breaths from the cigar in her hand. The wind whipped our hair about our faces as we walked in random, irregular circles around the trees listening to sweet, soothing sounds of the forest.

"He... didn't imprint, did he?" she asked tentatively.

I smiled. "No, he didn't. He just... likes her. Strange, isn't it? I know. It had Billy in for a loop, too. He couldn't understand that he hadn't imprinted—I guess the elders were just waiting for the Alpha to imprint and... it's just plain weird. I'm still getting used to it myself."

She sighed and puffed on her cigar. "Is she pretty? I didn't get a good look at her at the wedding."

"Well, she's strange for a Makah. I've never seen one with blue eyes before—Mom said something about her father being a pale face and her mom being an Indian. They're really... striking. She's got Emily's complexion and, like, afro hair."

"I don't like her."

"You don't even know her, Rosalie," I muttered with a small smile as I let my palm rest against a tree, feeling the smooth grains of the wood beneath my skin. "I'm sure she's nice."

"Why are _you_ so keen on her? Isn't she the sleaze bag who's dating your imprint?"

I didn't say anything, and Rosalie pressed further on the matter. "I mean, all the other wolves have, like this, unbreakable bond with their imprint, and they always have to be with them—take Quil and Claire: wherever there's Claire, you're damn sure there's going to be Quil with her, no? But you... it doesn't matter with you. You go days on end not seeing Jacob and you don't seem fazed or affected or _anything_ at all for that matter. Why, Leah?"

She had hit home with those simple words, and she bloody well knew it. She had struck a deep nerve, somewhere within me and I couldn't say anything to negate what she was saying. My mind had been over thinking this very notion ever since that night in the woods and I still hadn't come up with a reasonable explanation. I didn't want to prove Rosalie right though, I didn't want to succumb to the idea that I was actually in love with Jacob Black, and it wasn't the imprint that was pushing me towards him. Now, especially, with Caroline in the picture.

"Leah," she began again, and then, I just couldn't take it anymore.

"What, Rosalie? _What do you want me to say?_ Do you want me to tell you why I don't act like the other wolves that have imprinted, when I supposedly imprinted myself? Do you want a reasonable, plausible, _believable_ explanation? Because, God, I sure as hell can't give you one. I don't know why I act differently. I don't know why Jacob doesn't feel the imprint. Sure, Claire doesn't feel it, but during the few times I've let Emily talk to me about her imprint, she's always said she felt Sam's heavy eyes on her the moment she met him. She always said she knew there was something different, strange... Jacob has absolutely no fucking idea about the imprint, as oblivious to it as hell. And as it seems, he won't ever get to know about it."

"Leah..." she trailed off, stubbing the cigar with her toe and driving it into the dirt as she looked me dead in the eye, "you know what I've said about this imprint thing..."

"I don't need a reminder, Rosalie. I know perfectly well what most of this means. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I've been lying to myself this whole time, that I've been trying to convince myself that it's an imprint... that my feelings for Jacob are all because of some magical hocus pocus... But I can't be sure, Rosalie. Did you know I'm not the first female wolf in Quileute history? That there was another female before me, and she was killed shortly after she began phasing? Because I sure as hell didn't, and Marla didn't either. Paul found a series of papers under my name, and the event was written down in full detail.

"No one is sure of anything around here. There are no direct rules to this whole pack thing, much less the imprinting procedure, and its repercussions. I can't simply accept that I'm in love with Jacob when there's all this shit in the way."

She remained quiet, walking silently by my side. I was thinking about my whole life, my feelings for Jacob Black, and quite frankly, just trying to make sense of the whole mess inside my head.

"Edward said something a few days ago... I think I should tell you. He was talking to Jacob—he was visiting—and they were talking of Reneesme... and Jacob admitted something. That when she was still alive, he always felt a small pull towards her, something in his stomach that made him want to protect her... and what's even weirder, is that he said that whenever you, Leah, were around, the pull would become stronger, and spread even to you. With Reneesme around, he felt that he had to protect you, too. What do you think it could mean?"

I didn't say a single thing. I ran, as fast as I could, away from her and prayed to myself that she wouldn't try to follow me as ran away from the horrible, horrible truth she had just told me. Why did things have to get more complicated? Why couldn't life just accept that Jacob was in a relationship with Caroline, that I was simply confused, and just leave it at that? Why did it have to come in and fuck everything up?

In my mind, I knew there was only one place I could go to. I didn't falter, and I didn't slow down as I neared the cottage I hadn't visited in quite a few days. Rachel and Paul weren't there, so I climbed the three back porch steps and banged on the back door.

"Marla opened this goddamned door _now_!" I yelled, rapping my fist hard against the door. Her small, calm face appeared behind the frosted window and she slowly opened the door and let me in. I guess she had seen me coming. She didn't say anything as I walked in, in a fit of rage, and covered my eyes with my hands. "Tell me everything you know about the imprints."

She didn't say no, and simply walked into the living room and patted the spot on the sofa beside her. She explained, starting from the first imprinted wolf that had been recorded in our history, explaining, in the strictest detail, how he had recalled feeling towards his imprint and various other wolves over the generations who had felt exactly the same. No wolf had ever felt absolutely no need to be near his imprint at all times, no difference after making love... none matched mine. After what seemed like hours of talking in monologue, Marla stopped, sighed, went into the kitchen and brought a glass of water then rejoined me on the sofa.

"Why?" she asked simply before she talk a long sip of water.

"Because I'm doubting my imprint on Jacob."

She made a face when I said that and leaned forward to place her glass on the table. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and shook her head. "Alphas never get imprinted on, Leah."

"What?" I screeched, gnashing my teeth together to keep myself from phasing.

"You heard me. Alphas don't get imprinted on. They always imprint on someone else. How do you expect a lower wolf to imprint on someone higher?"

"How does _this_ explain my feelings, then?"

She remained silent for a few seconds, then smiled impishly. "You love him, silly."

"Shut the hell up, Marla. Don't throw this shit at me, for God's sake."

"Fine, then, I'll lie. Do you want me to feed you lies, Leah? Do you want to remain blinded for the rest of your life? Alphas _can't get imprinted on."_

"Why didn't anyone tell me, then?" I asked, my voice rough and unpleasant as I gripped the sofa tightly with my fingernails.

"How was I supposed to know that you thought you had imprinted on Jacob?"

"I don't know! Why does it feel like an imprint, then? It makes no sense, Marla. You know how much I dislike imprints, how they have ruined my life—do you think I'd dive, head first, into one? I don't think so. I wouldn't be so reckless as to break my own heart all over again."

"Then why are you doubting it?" she challenged, her eyes wide and waiting for some sort of smart response from my side. I made a small, strangled sound at the back of my throat and she grinned evilly.

I looked away—the wall was far easier to face than Marla. "I slept with Jacob a few weeks ago," I mumbled, almost incoherently as I grabbed at a stray strand from the sofa cover. I tugged at it, watching it unravel slowly before my eyes. "I thought things were going to change... that he was going to feel it inside me... why can't he feel my imprint?"

She didn't say anything—she didn't have to. I knew very well why he didn't feel the imprint and it hurt pretty bad that life had decided to fuck me over again. I quieted down, tugging at the string and pulling hard at it. It wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. The phasing, the imprints... And all the shit that went hand in hand with the gruesome, unjust events that happened to me ever since the Cullens had moved here. Some part of me knew that I had reached my breaking point yet again, and I just wanted to cry my eyes out and scream in frustration.

I didn't.

"Think about why there's a pull between Jacob and I then, please," I asked as softly as I could. She nodded—she'd probably already seen this—and followed me to the door, sending me off with a silent farewell.

I walked at a leisurely, yet determined pace to a place I hadn't visited in such a long time that it would be considered beyond embarrassing. I went empty-handed... I was sure he would understand my lack of graciousness—he'd grown used to it over the years.

"Hey, Dad," I said softly as I fell to my knees beside the marble grave stone and ran my fingers over the words carved deeply into the stone. "It's been quite a while, huh?" It amazed me how at ease I felt around my father... and I wished I could be around him forever. Slowly, I reached my hands out and wrapped them around the stone, holding it to my chest and sobbing fresh tears drenched in sadness onto it. I explained what had brought me there, what broken me, and why life was so bloody unfair.

-:-

One of the few things I liked about being a wolf was, strangely, my enhanced musical capabilities. Rachel had discovered that our ancestors were very keen on music and I guess that affinity had been passed on from generation to generation.

I wasn't a big fan of lyrics, but I had a knack of 'composing' the music. I was doing it everywhere lately, and Edward was very much interested in what I was doing. Strangely enough, after months of utter silence in remembrance of his daughter, he'd volunteered to teach me the piano, something which I'd taken up eagerly. Bella, of course, was not in agreement with Edward being so happy lately. She couldn't understand how he could be so happy so shortly after Reneesme's death. Edward took no notice of her—he simply shrugged then continued flipping through his sheet music.

Carlisle was much better and he was actually smiling and making conversation which was not forced at all. Seth was back at being a regular over at the Cullens' and Esme had taken up a cookery course at the Fork's Volunteer Courses for Housewives, which was being very much appreciated by Seth and I, and occasionally Quil.

"No, Leah, not like that," Edward complained for the millionth time as he reached for my reluctant hands and replaced them in their original positions over the keys. I simply could not understand his reasoning.

I sighed. "Look, Edward. I don't really care if I'm hitting an off note from twenty dozen others...I'm not seeking to become a fucking professional."

"But it matters to me. If you're going to be my student, then you're going to be the best two week old pianist the world has ever seen."

I rolled my eyes and Rosalie simply shook her head from the couch across from the piano. Edward was being an ass because I couldn't get certain things, but I figured that I should give the guy a break – he was, after all, spending all his days with eternally menopausal Bella—he was practically a saint. So I let him revise all the names of all the keys without complaining once, and I felt pretty proud of myself.

"Do you know how to play the guitar?" I asked him over dinner. Well, it was actually me eating and Edward staring at me and waiting for me to finish so that we could continue with our lesson.

"No..."

"Well, you better learn, 'cause I have about a week to learn it before I set off in search of a job that would get me a decent pay."

"Leah Clearwater working. That is a sight I _must_ see," he grinned sarcastically.

I flipped him off and went back to eating my amazingly delicious Italian homemade pizza, made by Esme from scratch.

I needed a job. _Desperately _needed one. Mom had been pestering me to find one for ages and now that there were no immediate vampire threats and Alice was keeping tabs on the Denalis, I'd asked myself, why the hell not? It would get me out of the house more often and maybe lessen my bitchy habits.

I'd managed to get out of the looming abyss I had been in after discovering that Jacob was not, in actual fact, my imprint, but rather some other Indian mumbo jumbo shit, and I'd accepted Caroline. She was actually a very nice girl—very modest, very humble... way too good for Jacob, really. But she was happy, and he was happy... So I guess whatever the misinterpreted imprint was, would automatically place me as being happy too. I was still waiting for Marla to come up with a reasonable explanation as to what the pull actually was, but I was in no hurry. I was actually very proud that I'd managed to help Edward 'overcome' his acceptance of Reneesme's death. I had developed a sort of knack at helping people overcome their issues, which was bringing out the nicer Leah Clearwater, pre-imprint disaster. He was actually much better and had resorted to playing the piano more frequently. The Cullens' house seemed much happier whenever Edward played.

"I'm so excited," Edward stated brightly as he walked with me to the Forks Supermarket which had employed me a few days before. He had insisted on seeing me work, so he'd decided to tag along. I'm sure the other cashiers wouldn't complain of Edward's presence and I was quite interested to see what was going to happen once they set eyes on him.

Edward seemed like a free spirit when he wasn't tied to Bella. He smiled brighter and seemed much more full of life, happier. I liked to think that maybe, just maybe, a little bit of that happiness was because of me, and I'd helped to acquire it. He walked casually by my side as we made our way into the supermarket after having driven from La Push in his Volvo with a cheeky grin on his face. I was pretty sure he was doing his very best not to listen in on my thoughts, because from past experience, I wasn't such a nice person when that happened, but I wouldn't blame him if he was—I had very loud thoughts.

Aldith, the shop supervisor who was a few years older than me, was about to scold me when I stopped into the shop a few minutes late, but she froze when she saw Edward by her side. As if by a silent call, all the other employees stationed at the check-out desks turned their heads to face Edward, gawking at him. I was sure he was having a blast listening to their thoughts.

"Good morning, Leah," Aldith said pleasantly, well, as pleasantly as she could with that high-pitched, irritating voice of hers. She did not tear her gaze away from Edward as she was talking to me. "You're going to run the new stock placements today," she continued as she tucked a strand of hair neatly behind her ear and smiled even brighter.

"Okay," I said, making my way to the locker room and dumping my stuff there. I pinned my badge to my uniform, rolled up my sleeves and got ready for a day of staring at the various items that were far from interesting. Edward followed, and Aldith did not question why he was following me around like a lost puppy. It was awkward at times, when I turned around and he was there, handing me whatever I needed, but as the day progressed, I got used to it.

We spent quite a large amount of time in silence, but it wasn't awkward at all. I didn't feel the need to talk, and he didn't either, so it was easier to remain in comfortable silence, rather than giving a go at uncomfortable conversation.

"Do you think of her a lot?" he asked suddenly, sitting down on the floor beside the box of preserves I was currently sorting.

"Reneesme?" I asked, slowly placing the can of tuna on its shelf, amongst the other cans. He nodded. "Not a lot, but when I do... it hurts a lot. Especially when I'm with Claire. I think of her the most when I'm with Claire. And when I'm alone—that's the worst. Because when I'm with Claire, I can hug her and hold her tight and push the thoughts of Reneesme away, trying to imagine how much happier she is now, wherever she is. But when I'm alone, there's no one there for me to hug and hold..."

He was silent for a few seconds, staring at the box I was sifting through before he sighed, and relaxed his knees. "I think about her all the time. I know it's wrong, because the first step to accepting someone's death is to stop thinking about the deceased so frequently. But... I just can't. Everywhere I look, she is there, waiting for me to pick her up, to kiss her and to love her, but when I reach out to touch her, she disappears..."

His head fell into his hands and he ran his shaky hands through his hair, staring down at the tiled, murky floor beneath his feet. I pitied him in this sad state, so miserable and desperate that he would come to _me_, the demented werewolf, for help and consolation.

"Edward...?" I said, lowering the tuna can and inching towards him on my knees. "Ed?"

"Sorry," he muttered, raising his face to look me dead in the eye. "Got a bit side-tracked," he said with a small chuckle and covered his hand with his eyes. "I just miss her so much."

The last few words were barely a whisper, and to any other human, they would have not been heard. But I heard them perfectly, and I was unsure of what I had to do. Hug him? Hold his hand? I kneeled there, staring at him as he sat in silence.

"Bella doesn't help at all..." he mumbled incoherently again, "she just sits in Reneesme's room all the _fucking_ day and stares at things that aren't there. How I am supposed to get over it? _How am I supposed to get over it?"_ he half- yelled, hitting the freezer he was leaning against with as little force as he could muster. He looked at me, then, with wide, butterscotch eyes that seemed to cry out sadness, anger and frustration.

I turned back, silently, to placing the tuna cans on the shelf, hearing him breathe behind me and finding a small amount of comfort in that sound. He remained silent too, watching me, I guessed. He was right—Bella wasn't much help. Rosalie'd told me that Bella was spending days on end in Reneesme's room, smelling her clothes, her pillows... everything.

"Sorry," he said after a few minutes of silence, and I slowly turned to face him with small smile.

"It's okay. I've gotten used to helping you Cullens get over your issues," I said, as gently as I could.

He smiled slowly. "I'll be quiet from now on."

-:-

"Edward seems better," Rosalie stated as she walked with me back home. Edward had kept his promise and he'd stayed quiet for the rest of my shift, helping to answer my mental queries with simple gestures. We'd returned back to the Cullens', and Rosalie had offered to walk me home.

"Yeah, he does. We talked a bit whilst I was working... explained to me why he can't get over it," I explained, ranking my bag higher up on my shoulder.

"Good... at least one of them needs to start moving on."

"Edward told me Bella's a total mess... how are you?"

She shrugged, grabbing at a bunch of grass flying in the breeze and plucking them out of the ground, twirling it between her fingers. "As good as I'll ever be, I guess. Reneesme was... the child I always wanted, you know? And I lost her... and her loss hurt more than the infertile burden I have to bear every day of my life."

"I'm sorry..."

She snorted. "You seem to have found a replacement, though."

I looked at her weird and she shrugged with an impish grin. "Seth mentioned Claire."

"Oh! She's far from a replacement. I knew Claire long before I knew Reneesme and I don't spend as much time with her as you think but... she helps numb the pain, I guess. And she likes having me around. She's such a sweet little girl... how are _you_, Rose?" I asked her then, eyeing her sadly.

Her face was drawn, her eyes were frantic, never focused, and she always seemed worried, afraid, alone... Emmett was worried about Rosalie too, because quite frankly, Rosalie was one of the strongest people I knew. It saddened me to think that she could simply be reduced to this.

"I miss her terribly. But I haven't stepped foot in her room in a month," she stated proudly, straightening her back and broadening her shoulders. "I'm trying to move on, you know? Get my closure or something. I don't know. All I know is that my attempt at moving on is going horribly wrong. I don't know what to do, when to do it... Gah!" she yelled in frustration, grabbing at the sides of her hand and pushing on them fiercely. "I want her back, Leah. She was mine, she was with me and He took her away!" If vampires could cry, Rosalie would've been bawling. Her sad eyes were wide and golden, twinkling in the light of the late afternoon, devoid of the tears that she wanted to cry. I pitied her, at that moment.

With a sigh, I latched onto her hand and pulled her along with me. As we walked, I sniffed the air, searching for the two familiar scents woven into the air around me. At last, I found them on First Beach—their backs to us and little Claire building a sandcastle beside Quil. He smelt us and turned to face us. Rosalie's face was confused as she stared at Claire and I let go of her icy hand and walked over to Quil's side. He smiled up at me, and he didn't question Rosalie's presence as she sat down beside Claire and began to introduce herself. I simply rested my head on Quil's shoulder and watched the ebb and flow of the tide as Rosalie's and Claire's voices flew up into the air around us.

I guess we spent quite a long time like that. I think I even dozed off at some point, but I wasn't sure. Rosalie had made Claire's sandcastle even more beautiful and she was elated with it, prancing about and admiring it in wonder.

"Look Leah, look Quil!" she shouted, grabbing onto his shoulder and shaking violently. He smiled at her and looked over at the castle.

"That's amazing, Claire-bear," I exclaimed with a bright smile but as my gaze fell onto Rosalie, who was looking off into the distance behind us, looking curiously at something there. I turned and saw an old woman slowly lowering herself onto the sand, barefoot, with an earnest look on her face. I waved at her but she didn't wave back, or smile in acknowledgement. She simply scurried towards me.

"I finally figured out the pull between you and Jacob."

And at that exact moment in time, I didn't care at all that Quil and Rosalie and Claire were overhearing this conversation: I just wanted the truth.

"Tell me," I urged fervently.

Marla nodded and swallowed solemnly, "Jacob isn't your imprint," as she paused, I held my breath, waiting anxiously for her answer. "He's your mate."


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey hey hey! That was quick, and I quite like this chapter, I must say (so I hope you like too :D)!**

**I realised I haven't been putting up the disclaimer so...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters mentioned here- I just own this twisted plot that I'm still trying to come to terms with :O!**

**Anyway, read and review, please! **

* * *

Chapter 26

Leah Clearwater

I stared at Marla in disbelief and heard Quil shuffle about on the sand behind me until he got to his feet, and I heard Rosalie shushing Claire as she asked what had happened, and I heard Marla breathe before me, and I heard the movement of the sea behind me, but everything was muted next to the sound of my fervent tears as I cried for the gut-wrenching news she had brought me this afternoon.

A part of me was screaming for all this to be a joke, or a mistake, while another part of me was joyful and exuberantly happy and looking forward to the results of this discovery. In truth, I didn't know what to feel. Happy or sad?

"What do you mean?" Quil asked over my sobbing and Rosalie was standing beside me in an instant, her face both curious and worried as she eyed me, and yet listened intently to what Marla was going to say.

She nodded, mostly to herself. "Leah did not imprint on Jacob because she isn't his imprint—"

"But how can you be sure?" Rosalie pressed.

Marla sighed and fingered the lace of her billowing skirt as it flew about her in the slight breeze. "In our tribe, there isn't always a female, as you all know. But when there is, for example, when the first female wolf in our history was present, the Alpha of that pack did not imprint, however, he did not get the chance to have children from the female because she had been killed. I found records that say that the Alpha of that time did _not_ imprint, but was left free to choose a bride and wife for himself.

"Don't you ask yourselves why almost all the wolves have imprinted, and yet, Jacob hasn't? I found myself asking the same question and this seems like the only reasonable explanation: that you are Jacob's mate."

I don't know how, but upon hearing that statement, a certain strength within me allowed me to speak and question what she was saying. "But I can't have children," I mumbled, to which Rosalie grimaced and slowly bowed her head. Quil was silent beside me, his fingers gently stroking my wrist in a sort of comforting manner. I had surpassed the point of being comforted.

"So how can Jacob be in a relationship with Caroline and _not_ be attracted towards Leah, much like she is?"

"I thought about that, too. It could be because, with Leah being female, her intuitive capabilities become more sharp and enhanced, and maybe she could be able to detect her mate herself. Jacob would be able to realise who his mate is during the mating season, obviously the only time you, Leah, can get pregnant and have Alpha children."

"When is the mating season?" I asked, suddenly very interested with tears streaming freely down my face.

"Wolves usually mate at the end of June and at the beginning of July: once a year."

"But... I've been a wolf for over a year now... how can Jacob _not_ have realised that I am his mate by now?"

Marla rubbed her temples. "You young wolves ask far too many questions," she complained as she covered her eyes from the light of the afternoon, "but it's probably because you've only just matured, as a wolf, this year."

"_What?_" I asked, now truly confused as to what she was saying. Rosalie was eyeing her sceptically, too, her perfect face scowling down at this small woman who was trying, desperately, to give me hope. I guess Rosalie didn't entirely believe her, or find logic in what she was saying.

"Leah, please, don't make this any harder. Upon phasing, you were still getting used to your new capabilities, your newer half: you were still a cub, metaphorically. Now, slowly slowly, your wolf side has been maturing and now, you are a fully grown wolf, per se. So you can have children."

Rosalie's face contorted from a confused glare, to a smile of utter joy as she clasped my limp hand in her marble ones and grinned brightly. "Do you understand what she's saying, Leah?"

"Yes, Rosalie, I do," I said quietly, shaking her grip off of my hand and slowly backing away. Marla's words were still sinking in, slowly, into the folds of my brain, but I couldn't begin to believe any of them. Just a couple of years ago, the Elders had immediately dismissed me being able to bear children, and here was Marla, telling me _now_ that I actually can have children, but only to give the pack strong, little Alphas. With these thoughts in my head, I bolted for the nearby woods, a tactic which seemed to work perfectly nowadays: running away. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I ran, then I quickly pulled off my clothes and urged myself to phase.

I hadn't phased in weeks now, and the familiar feel to my phased body was comforting. The end of June was pretty close—well, we were still at the beginning June... but we were getting there. I could feel it in the wolf inside me: she knew that the mating season was near—she was ready. But was I ready? Far from it. I was far from ready to tell the Elders, _Jacob_, of Marla's discovery and to have to bear their verdict on what I should or should not do. I didn't want them to plan my children, to plan when Jacob and I would sleep together, to give them access to my personal life, even more so than they have now... I didn't want that.

I didn't know what I wanted actually.

I did want Jacob to love me, and the fact that he felt the need to protect me whenever we are together or close to a child had gone well in my mind but... to use him? To feed myself the lies, lies that he loved me, that he wanted only me, and me alone, and that he hadn't been constricted to ending up with me due to his Alpha duties? I certainly did not want that. But at the same time, I imagined what our babies would be like: how they'd have his mesmerizing eyes, and his russet skin, and his strength and hard-headedness... how I'd hold them and love them and nurture them and comfort them when the time came for them to turn into wolves too...

I stopped and assessed the environment around me. I had to make a decision. It was obvious that Quil would inform the others of what Marla had said, and if the wolves knew, then word would get to Jacob whether he liked it or not. And he'd have to decide between me and Caroline and it would all just end up in one big mess. The decision was tough, that was for sure. I could accept the fact that I was Jacob's mate: eternally employed to getting pregnant and successfully birthing strong Alphas, or I could ignore it, and live the rest of my life alone, childless, and slowly moving towards becoming the biggest bitch the world has ever seen.

I climbed into my bed and fell asleep immediately after that. I had decided I would sleep on it, and tell my mother about it. Maybe, for once, the Elders would decide to make my life easier.

-:-

My mother had rushed over to Old Quil, and then to Billy Black, and the rest of the Elders with the exciting, problem-solving news. I simply sat at the breakfast table while Seth tried to make everything seem better. He kept poking at the fact that I actually was able to have children, which was something I had a million reasons to be happy about, but I just didn't feel like Seth's happy demeanour right now. All I wanted was for the Elders to call a meeting between Jake and me and straighten these things out.

I sipped on my coffee, feeling it scorch its path on my tongue and down my throat. Emily and Sam were leaving for their honeymoon today, and Mom was supposed to go escort them to the airport, but for once, I'd taken priority over Emily. To say that my mom had been happy when I'd told her the news would be the understatement of the century. It had always been a heavy cross for her to bear that I wasn't going to have children, but now, she seemed lighter, like a load had been lifted.

A knock on the door brought my out of my train of thought. Seth went to open the door, and I lowered my coffee mug as Quil stepped into the kitchen. Quil had landed himself dead in an awkward position: he knew half the story, and was still puzzling over the other half. Seth knew I didn't feel like talking, so he took him into the living room and explained, while I tried to pretend that I wasn't hearing them, which failed terribly.

Solemnly, I got dressed for work, and I was late yet again. But a glare in Aldith's direction the minute I stepped into the store, silenced her for the rest of the day. In order to stop myself from over-thinking about it, I spent the whole day reading the backs of the products I was sorting, but it served as a retainer only for a few minutes, because I'd find myself thinking about it whenever I wasn't holding a product in my hands. I felt tired, and I looked tired as well, because Katya, one of the other cashiers, asked me if everything was okay, sleep-wise. My eye-lids were like dead-weights, dragging down, lower and lower. I felt absolutely _lifeless_: drained of energy, of everything.

When I got back home that evening, however, all the tiredness went away immediately, because as I stood at the bottom of our front yard, I recognised the scents of the Elders, _all_ of them, inside. At that moment in time, my knees wobbled horribly, and I felt as if I was made of jelly as I made my way up the steps, to the porch, and slowly, opened the front door. The meeting I'd wanted—for them to address me and Jacob together—was in session the minute I sat at our dining room table. Jacob was sitting beside me, but at an angle that he could look at me in a worried manner. That only added salt to the wound. I shied my gaze away from him as Old Quil cleared his throat and began addressing with his gravelly voice.

"Hello Jacob, Leah," he said with a small nod as he spread his palms wide on the table before him, "we have just received news that could, potentially, change both your lives."

Jacob's brows shot up and he looked my way curiously, but I was too much of a coward to look at him, so I looked dead straight at Old Quil, who resumed talking.

"The old pack healer, Marla, has discovered some fascinating news that explains why you, Jacob Black, as Alpha, have not yet imprinted on anyone."

"Go on," Jacob urged, and I could tell from his tone that he was getting impatient.

"Very well. It seems as though you have not imprinted, because our ancestors have supplied you with a suitable mate: Ms Clearwater over here, who is the only female of this pack, was created purposefully to be your mate, and to bear you children, who will eventually become the future Alphas of the next pack."

My ears burned at his words, and I ducked my head, looking at the intricate grains of the wood of the table before me. "I thought Leah couldn't have children," Jacob said after a few minutes of painful silence, probably as Old Quil's words sunk in.

"She can only become pregnant during the mating season, and apparently, only if the child is yours," Old Quil continued, and I caught my mother smiling proudly beside Billy Black, who was nodding to each of Old Quil's words.

Jacob didn't say anything. His face was composed and serene—a true Alpha—whilst I was blushing like a maniac beside him. Damn these hormonal wolf developments.

"Jacob, I hear you are in a relationship with a young Makah, is that so?"

"Sort of..." he mumbled, his eyes on me.

"I suggest you terminate the relationship so as not to cause the girl any harm... this probably counts as an imprint, of sorts, and we certainly do not want to experience the same emotional turmoil all over again," he said with a deep laugh as I cringed slightly.

Jacob paused, then sighed. "I'll think about it."

Then he left, without another word. Billy did not seem worried, and neither did Old Quil, but my mom was _furious_. She was trying to keep calm, but once the others had left, she screamed in frustration and kicked the garbage can so forcefully that it toppled over.

"_I'll think about it? I'll fucking think about it?"_ she cursed as she paced the kitchen floor.

"Mom... please don't—"

"Billy doesn't step in with the Alpha duty crap when it doesn't involve Sam. Leave Jacob to mess things up alone: it's not like the reservation is at the hands of an eighteen- year old kid," she complained as she slammed her hands repeatedly on the kitchen counter. I refrained from saying anything more, and left the room in silence, leaving her to resolve her problems on her own.

I needed to be alone.

Jacob's reaction had been... surprising. I'd expected him to blow a vein or something, but he'd remained calm. I saw no problem to Jacob 'thinking about' it, as opposed to my mother but... I wasn't putting my hopes up.

I went back down to First Beach, at first, upon instinct, but then, I ended up going there because a scent drew me to it. Jacob was there, sitting on the sand and watching the sea in front of him, breathing in and out calmly. He didn't realise I was there until I was a few feet away. And even then, he didn't seem surprised or annoyed because I was invading his 'thinking time'. I sat down beside him, not close enough for our hands to be touching but... yeah, close enough. I revelled in his immense warmth, and suddenly, the wolf inside me tugged on my heart strings, and the pull was there, all of a sudden. I felt drawn to him—maybe because mating season was so close, but I didn't care. The way it made me feel was simply blissful.

"Kind of crazy, huh?" I said, as nonchalantly as I could.

He shrugged and turned to face me, his eyes ominously dark, deep... "I guess. But when you think about it, it all makes sense, doesn't it?"

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say anything, in fear that I might ruin the moment or say something insanely stupid that would send Jacob barrelling back to the Elders with a certain 'No' imprinted on his forehead. So I stayed put, and didn't say a thing.

"I don't know what to do, Leah. I mean, Caroline is real nice and she's real sweet but... I don't want to be selfish, and I certainly don't want to hurt her like Sam did to you..."

"So you're going to take this decision based on whether or not Caroline is hurt?" I snapped, harsher than I'd wanted it to be.

He made a face and a small V formed between his brows, "No, no, that's definitely how it's going to be. I mean, I've only known this girl for a few weeks... not enough for me to feel so emotionally attached to her that she will determine all the decisions I take from now on—no, far from it. I just..."

"She's pretty, isn't she?"

"Well, yes... but she's not beautiful, isn't she? Like you? No, definitely not as beautiful as you," he said with a small smirk that made me blush deeply to my very core. I could feel my burning cheeks as bright as beetroots and I tried desperately to calm myself down. He noticed how his words made me feel and he smirked harder, never tearing his eyes off of me.

"So... we're sort of like each others' imprints, then?"

"I guess... I'm still trying to understand all this new crap..."

"How long have you known?"

"Yesterday morning. Marla found me at the beach and I was with Quil and Rosalie, so I guess most of the wolves already know about it."

"Great... Paul's going to give me hell about it..."

"Paul's a natural ass, Jake; he would give you hell about practically everything..."

"Point," he said with a small nod, accompanied with a smile. I smiled, too, and looked out at the sea before us, moving slowly to and fro. The sun was almost setting—its shape being outlined against the pearly pink sky as it approached the horizon for one final kiss. I watched its fiery burning form as it grew smaller and smaller until finally, it was submerged beneath the horizon, and was no more. The sky dimmed immediately: from pink to blue to black almost in an instant and soon, we were left in total darkness as we watched the stars appear in the sky.

"What do you think I should do, Leah?" he asked softly, looking over at me with a serene, serious face, devoid of any type of expression.

I sighed. "That's a pretty important question to ask to someone who is completely biased in this situation..."

"I know, right? But we're in it together: what I decide, directly affects you, whether you like it or not. So it's a pretty big burden to bear..."

"Let's start from what's sure. What are you going to do with Caroline?"

He spent a few minutes in silence, I guess, pondering my question. Then, he exhaled deeply and let his head fall into his hands. "That was a pretty stupid thing to do from the start. I shouldn't have started going out with her... but with her, things were easy and simple—there was no doubt about how I felt, because I felt practically nothing towards her, and I didn't have to worry about all those menial things. I guess she knew, in her heart of hearts, that this was a short-lived relationship. But I was with her to cut myself off from the strain the pack was putting on me. It was a highly selfish act, but now, I feel that my head is much clearer, and I can think better.

"The Alpha thing to do is to break up with her... Surprisingly, I don't feel any remorse for doing so. Like I said, I don't have any intense feelings for her, so it won't be that hard," he explained with a nod, and at those words, I felt something being lifted from my chest: hearing Jacob state that he did not love Caroline and would be willing to break up with her, to be (indirectly) with me, was a satisfying notion that went down extremely well in my mind. I suppressed a smile.

"What do _you_ want, Jacob?"

He grinned. "A few weeks ago, I would've told you that I wanted to be normal. That I didn't want to be trapped in this magical world, responsible for all that happens to the wolves in my pack, to not be Alpha, and to be able to choose my lover for myself. But now... things aren't so clear anymore. You see, Leah, when Reneesme was still alive, there this sort of pull—"

"I heard. Rosalie told me about it, and to tell you the truth, it just plain freaked me out. But now that I think about it, it makes sense, no? Since I'm your... mate," I said with a small shudder, "and I'm supposed to bear you children, it's obvious that we're supposed to protect each other, right?"

"You're in it for the children, aren't you?" he asked with a small, sad smile. His voice was laced with sorrow and regret, as if the next words that I would utter would either make him or break him.

I had nothing _to _say, actually. It was true; a part of me was in it for the children. I'd wanted, more than anything in the world, to be pregnant and to hold my own babies in my own arms, not someone else's—a substitute. Ever since Marla had explained to me that I would be able to have kids, I'd become even more positive. I'd been trying to see the positive outlook of things, and bitchy Leah had almost definitely disappeared. But then, it wasn't all about the kids. I could've been anyone else's mate, no? I could've ended up with Embry... or Paul, or Jared, Quil... anyone. Being paired up with either of them, would not have made me as happy as being paired up with Jacob Black.

When I looked at his massive arms, I immediately felt safe and protected. When I looked into his deep, brown eyes, I wanted to look into them for the rest of my life. To me, it wasn't just us being mates that pulled me towards him. It was _him_. Jacob himself was my everything, and even though I'd done my best to suppress these thoughts and to try and convince myself that whatever I was feeling towards him wasn't true, in the end... I was made for him. Almost like an imprint.

"No..." I trailed off, unable to think of _anything _else to say that would be appropriate and actually make sense.

"Then why did you accept it? Don't you hate my guts?"

I stared at him for a few seconds, memorizing the shape of his nose, his jaw, his full lips, his small dimples... I blinked thoroughly, and I didn't know what to do. I was so confused... I blinked again, but the awkwardness was still there, staring me dead in the eye. "I—I..." I stuttered, as if there was a huge bubble pushing the words down, deeper and deeper into my throat, choking me, hurting me.

Jacob didn't tear his eyes off of me. He kept on looking at me, causing the hair at the nape of my neck to rise and goose bumps to decorate the length of my arm. I watched them for a few seconds, unable to look at him without blushing beet red.

"Look at me, Leah," he said gently, in a pleading voice, and I felt his warm finger slip beneath my chin and tilt my face up in his direction. He held my face in place, and I was unable to move or look anywhere else, except into his eyes. They were a warm, soft brown colour that was melting me from the inside and I squirmed beneath his touch. The pads of his fingers pressed into my skin gently and I stopped, resigned. "Do you hate me, Leah?"

I froze, and then I shook my head fervently, still unable to speak.

"Talk to me, please," he pleaded and I watched as his eyes watered slightly.

"I don't hate you," I blurted out quickly, unable to restrain myself when I saw him on the verge of tears. Those tears hurt more than my own, because they were tears I had caused, and I didn't want Jacob to cry. "I never hated you and I never will."

He loosened his grip on my chin, and his hand fell to my shoulder. He pulled my towards him until he could wrap his arms around me and rest my head on his shoulder. I started to sob quietly and he rubbed gentle circles into my back.

"I don't know, Jacob, I really don't know," I whispered against his throat, and he shuddered beneath my breath. "It's so hard to make someone love you..."

At those words, his grip on me tightened, and if I were human, he would've crushed me. His jaw muscles gnashed together, and I could tell that he was restraining a growl, or keeping himself from saying something.

"What would you call our children if we have any?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

I smiled slowly and wiped my wet cheeks on the back of my hand. "I don't know, Jacob," I said with a small chuckle. "Maybe, Sarah, for your mom, if it's a girl... and Harry, for my dad... I'm not sure."

"They would be perfect..."

I sniffled and buried my face in his neck. He didn't move away, but let me curl myself against him until I was sitting on his lap with my legs draped over his.

"Do... do you think our girl would be a wolf, too?"

He didn't say anything, at first, and then he smiled. "If we have a girl, I want her to be just like you..."

Shocked and surprised, I looked up at him and saw that he was looking down at, straight into my eyes as if he was staring into my soul. The tears were gone and they had been replaced by a slight twinkle that made his eyes shine in the dark. I didn't know why, and I didn't know what part of me made me do it, but I lifted my hand up to stroke his smooth cheek, enjoying the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips. He smiled and leaned into my touch.

"Even if we weren't mates..." he began, breathing deeply, "I'd still love you, Leah Clearwater."

I sat up immediately, feeling a current flow up and down the length of my spine. I stared at him in shock. "What are you _saying_ Jacob?" I asked, my voice verging on a screech, as I clutched at his shirt and tugged slightly.

"You heard me, Leah. I love you. Even if you aren't my mate. I've loved you for ever since I can remember. When we were kids, I had the hugest crush on you... and as you've grown and matured and thrown tonnes of shit my way, my feelings for you have grown even more..."

"Jacob..."

"I don't want to hurt you, Leah... I don't want to break like Sam, and I have no intention of doing so. You were made for me, and I was made for you, and that's all that matters. I will hold you and protect you for the rest of my life and I promise that I will love you forever and ever."

I closed my eyes because my brain was telling me not to be a total sucker and believe every single word he was saying, but my heart was pumping a million beats a minute, yearning to be touched and loved by Jacob, who claimed to love me just as much as I loved him. I let go of his shirt and ran my hands over my eyes. I was shaking uncontrollably and tears were threatening and burning at the backs of my eyes.

"Please Leah, trust me. I know I may seem young and immature, but if there's one thing I'm certain about, it's my love for you."

There it was, so blunt and Jacob- like. And as I opened my eyes to face him, yet again, I realised that Jacob had practically given me his heart in the palm of my hand, and that if I wanted to, I could crush it into a million pieces, just like Sam and Emily had done to me. I could be the biggest bitch anyone's ever seen... but I just didn't have it in me. I loved Jacob, too, and I wanted to be with him, and I could never crush his heart like mine...

He didn't give me a chance to say anything, retaliate, retort or react. He pressed his lips to mine and kept them there for a few seconds, testing me to see what I would do. I didn't move: I remained there, motionless, waiting for him to make the next move. His hand came up to cup the back of my head and bring me closer to him and as I did, he moved his lips, leaving a fiery trail as he did so. I shuddered in pleasure, and I knew we wouldn't be able to stop after this. It was just like that time in the woods, but today, it was even more beautiful. Jacob held me tighter and made me feel oh so special as he kissed my lips and his hands roamed over my eager skin.

"I love you, Leah," he breathed, before he laid me down on the cool sand, and slowly started removing my clothes.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hi! It's me again :D And, as always, its been loooooooooooooong. I got kind of stuck with this one, but I did my best and I think this is good :) I hope you like it, and, as always, READ AND REVIEW! **

**On with the storyyyyy!**

* * *

Chapter 27

Leah Clearwater

To say that I was happy would be an understatement. To say that I was elated, with no ounce of sadness inside me, in my brain, with no troubles whatsoever would, however, be an exaggeration.

I didn't... I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I didn't know what I was going to do from here on out. Where to go now that my almost eternal battle with Jacob Black and my feelings was over? It seemed to me that my life had been entirely consumed by said battle, and that I had given it so much importance that there no longer was any purpose to my life. Was I so... boring? I searched the confines of my brain fervently, searching for something that would make me sigh in relief, because _yes, _I did have something to live for other than Jacob's, now achieved, love and adoration. At the moment, I couldn't come up with anything. And that just made me sad.

With a sigh, I crossed my arms over my chest and stared up at the pearly pink sky, and watched it slowly turn into a clear, pristine blue, a cloudless, unusual day in La Push. My lips curled into a smile as Jacob breathed slowly and deeply beside me, still immersed in a deep, exhausted sleep. For one thing, the perks of being a wolf allowed me _not_ to worry about getting pregnant now—Marla had given me a specific time frame during which our ancestors allowed me to have kids, so basically, I could have sex any time I wanted to, just so long as it does not fall between June and July. Not that I would set out on a hungry search for sex now... but it was a good notion to bear in mind.

But, I was also happy because, unlike the first time Jacob and I had sex, I had no expectations this second time round... no imprint or magic shit to live up to. It was Jacob and me, alone on the sand, confessing our newly-found love for each other. Such a beautiful, beautiful painting in my mind: his legs interlaced with mine, his forehead resting against my own, my fingers in his thick, black hair, caressing the bare nape of his neck... our heat, trapped between us... I shuddered in pleasure.

And yet, the beauty of it all, could never be enough to keep my fear away, at bay.

I didn't know why I was afraid, or what had caused this fear to settle at the pit of my stomach like a large, heavy, hard rock refusing to move or leave me in peace. I didn't know, and I couldn't understand. Maybe it was the suddenness of it all... maybe I was afraid that I had been too easy, and that after all, whatever we had between us had gone up in smoke... just like that... I hadn't been so close to a man before in _years _and it seemed so... strange...

First off, I was naked on the beach, in full view of anyone who got the vague idea of taking a walk along the beach this morning... I wasn't so much bothered as I was ashamed. Not of myself, but of Jacob. I was, after all, older than him, and lately, the older women of La Push (and even some of the younger girls about my age) had starting circulating a rumour of the nasty things I did out in the woods with all those men, always running around half naked with them. It didn't bother me so much—I was used to getting trash-talked about all the time—but Jacob had a reputation to withhold. He had always been squeaky clean Jacob, with a smile, an open heart, a helping hand, _a good boy_.

No one would expect Jacob to end up with me, the purest definition of trouble, egoism, selfishness, and of all the names I'd been called over the years. But before I could begin to worry, a warm arm reached out and landed on my waist, pulling me towards Jacob as he watched me with droopy eyes, still filled with sleep.

I liked the fact that he didn't say anything. He remained silent, I guess, because he realised how nice and pure and short this would be... At least, I wanted to believe that he didn't say anything because of that. His lips were pulled up into a small, half-smile and I turned to face him entirely, curling my body into his, enjoying his warmth and the sanctuary his arms provided for me. I was content and happy—something I hadn't been in God knows how long, and I was determined to remain so, to keep the happiness flowing in my veins, illuminating my mind, acting in my eyes, mouth, arms... everywhere.

At one point, when a bird crowed above our heads, Jacob's arms tightened around me, and then, I knew that he would never let me go.

-:-

Billy placed the cup of coffee before me on the table before he wheeled back to the kitchen with his son's annoying grin on his face. He knew what had happened between us, and we hadn't even had to utter a single word about it. He'd smiled brightly, rubbed his calloused hands together eagerly, then went into the kitchen and set the kettle running, leaving me and Jacob to wonder at how much he actually knew.

"Does Rachel know?" I asked Jacob as I ran my finger over the rim of the mug, watching the steam rise up before me.

He shrugged as he opened the soda can and took a sip from it. "I don't know how much the news has gone around... all the pack probably knows, but I don't know what Paul tells my sister... so I wouldn't get my hopes up," he explained, making a face as he twirled the can on its edge over the table.

"This is so bloody embarrassing..." I mumbled, wrapping my arms around the mug and lifting it to my lips as I looked at Jacob over the rim.

"Aw, come on Lee..."

I shook my head as I swallowed the coffee. "No, I'm not so bothered about it. It's just... I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to kick their asses when they broach the subject."

"Just don't pay them any notice... they're just sad and depressed in their own lives."

"I wish I could," I muttered, rolling my eyes as Billy handed me a tray of cookies my mom had given him earlier. I grabbed one and started breaking it up into tiny, flaky pieces, washing the crumbs fall to the table and create a fine layer over it.

"You and your pride, Leah," Billy drawled out as he patted my shoulder gently. "It's not such a bad thi—"

Unfortunately, he was cut off abruptly as the front door slammed open and I smelt Paul and Rachel making their way to the kitchen. Her footsteps were loud and heavy against the carpet in the hallway as she moved quickly with anger simmering in her eyes. When she saw me, she lifted a thin finger in a my direction and glared at me over it.

"How _could_ you, Leah? How could you _not_ tell me?"

I stammered as she stood there, watching the hurt cross her features again and again, and I couldn't help feeling like the bad person that I really was. How could I, really? Why hadn't I told Rachel myself? Why had I made her go through the humiliation of hearing it from someone else?

"I'm sorry, Ray."

"Bullshit," she growled, earning a scowl from Billy as Paul snickered somewhere in the background. Without warning, she reached forward, grabbed my arm and dragged me behind her, back out the front door, across the front lawn and towards the direction of Marla's cottage. "C'mon, Leah! I've been your friend for God knows how long and you didn't have the fucking _guts_ to say it to my face? Goddammit! Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to have to hear it from _Paul?"_

"Oh give me a fucking break, Rachel. I've only just found out. Do you think it's easy for me, to find out that, all of a sudden, Jacob is the one? The little boy I used to tease years ago? I'm still coming to terms with it myself, for crying out loud! It's as if everything is still in the air, right now! Like, I'm not sure of anything..." I cried out, my voice cracking minutely with each statement that I made, my hands shaking fiercely by my sides and tears threatening at the back of my eyes.

Rachel seemed to notice my emotional turmoil because she moved forward and cupped my face in her small hands, looking up at me earnestly, with genuine sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Lee. I was being selfish and stupid. I know this isn't easy—of course it isn't! But, I guess I felt... _hurt_. I've never imagined us to be the chick-flick type of friends, but, dammit, I sort of expected you to call or something!" Her voice grew muffled as she buried her face at my shoulder, and we stood, hugging each other, and reminiscing our friendship that had withstood so much. I loved her so bloody much, she was the sister I never had, and here she was, complaining because I wasn't being a good enough friend.

She pulled away, a bright gleam to her eyes as she looped her arm around mine and turned back towards Billy's house. The forest was dense around us, and we'd steered clear quite a bit of the road, but nevertheless, it was actually quite nice to walk with her in this unspoiled silence.

"So you're with Jacob now?" she asked, a smirk on her face as she stared straight ahead of us.

I laughed. "Does it bother you? I mean, Jacob and I may be the most mismatched couple on the rez, but I have to say, we're also the most compatible pair. I don't know _why_ we're so alike, but when I'm with him... it just feels good. Everything feels right."

She paused for a second, her smirk growing wider and wider, before her grip on my arm tightened and she looked me dead in the eye. "I don't see anything wrong with you two being together... it's actually kind of cute, in a weird sense. As long as you're happy, Lee, then I am too."

-:-

"Goodbye beautiful," Jacob said, as he trapped me against the front door, his face impossibly close to mine, so that the only things that I could see were his beautiful, expressive eyes, looking at me earnestly. His forehead rested against mine and I could feel his breath on my skin. When I was about to close my eyes, and our lips were about to meet, he stepped back, pecked me once on the nose, and once on my forehead, squeezed my hand tightly, then he was off, running across our front yard and looking back over his shoulder with a slight grin on his face.

"You're such a tease, Jacob," I called out, not loud enough for anyone else to hear but him.

"I can't help it!" he said as he stood on the pavement with his arms held out beside him and a helpless look on his face. I smiled and shook my head as I opened the door and stepped inside. I was immediately assaulted with my mom's homemade ravioli, something she hadn't cooked since dad had died—because it was his favourite, and much too painful to cook now—and then, I heard her singing softly to a song dad usually used to sing. I smiled brighter as I joined her in the kitchen, and I watched her move around lithely with a huge grin on her face.

"Mom..." I began, moving over to stand beside the bubbling pot of ravioli.

"I was talking to your dad the whole day today," she explained, looking at me with huge eyes, "and I realised what a happy moment this would have been for him: to know that our lovely, beautiful daughter is the _Alpha Female_ and that we're going to be grandparents soon." There was a dreamy slur to my mother's words as she stirred the salsa and stared off into the distance. "You never realised how much it pained your father when I'd told him that you stopped having your periods, and when Sam left you. It really troubled him that you were in such pain, and that you were so hurt. And now... isn't it great that he will get to see everything returning back to normal through our eyes, Leah?"

I nodded slowly and smiled as she let the wooden spoon rest on the pot's handle, then turned to face me and opened her arms up for me, beckoning me to step up to her and do what I hadn't done in months now.

No matter how much I aged, how much shit I saw, and how many rough patches I had to go throw, I never seemed to outgrow my mother's arms. They seemed to expand to however much I grew, always being able to wrap around me and hold me safely to the one person that would always be there for me, no matter who I was, and who I would become. She was so much shorter than me, but when I buried my head in her shoulder, feeling her coarse hairs brush against my face, size didn't really matter...

I was a little girl again, my hair pulled up into a messy pony tail, my cheeks red from the cold and my overalls all blotted with dirt from the woods I used to run through. I ran into my mother's open arms and curled up in her lap, as my father watched, and then, he would reach a hand out and gently caress the crown of my head.

As I thought of my father, I didn't cry. I didn't feel saddened that he was no longer here to share the turn of events that I was going through, because in actual fact, my mom was right. Dad was _here_, with us, to see the world through my eyes, mom's and Seth's too. I didn't have any reason to mourn or grieve him. Dad had always been a person to keep himself out of the limelight, even when it was due, so I had sort of gotten used to him being there, in the background, witnessing and soaking everything up silently, quietly, calmly. He was there, and had been there all along, somewhere in the confines of my brain, someplace that I didn't consider so important, leading me, guiding me towards the life he had wanted me to have all along.

Dad had never approved of my reaction to Sam and Emily, and he had always taken it upon himself to defend me whenever he heard anyone talk trash of me, but he had always burdened the guilt that it was actually his fault that I had turned out this way, which wasn't true. He'd felt that he'd done something wrong in raising me; that there had been a hairline crack he hadn't noticed and because of this, it had grown and widened until it had turned into an abyss that marred my character, flawed me in the most ugly way possible... He had been the one to turn me, to make me see the right path, _he had been the one to save me_, even though I no longer felt his hand resting heavily on my shoulder whenever he disapproved of what I did.

I am who I am today, because of him. Because he'd helped me see that closing everyone off was not the right way to live my life. I guess, I'd helped Edward, Rosalie and Carlisle because of my dad's hand, leading me in the right direction. I was who I was now, because of him.

Suddenly, a pair of warm, larger arms wrapped around mom and me, and soon, I was immersed in Seth's scent, as he rested his head on _my_ shoulder, holding us together, a family.

-:-

The whole wolf pack knew not only that Jacob and I were mates, but also that we'd slept together on First Beach. Don't ask me how.

We were walking leisurely in human form in the woods, choosing to stay in this form to avoid any of the others getting even more detailed glimpses of _that night_. I'd been giving them enough wet dreams beforehand, and this would basically turn me into a porn star, at their disposal. Jacob was holding onto my hand as if he was afraid that I would float away like a balloon if he let me go, and to say that this bothered me, would be an outright lie. His slight possessiveness was nice... it sent a nice feeling through my veins, pumping in my heart... He'd insisted that we go visit the Cullens—well, he'd suggested it, and I'd agreed immediately because I'd promised Edward that we'd start the guitar, a million years ago... The guitar was slung across Jacob's back—his example of chivalry—and he was busy talking about how the younger cubs were coping with their patrols, and also complaining about their lack of help thereof.

I didn't say anything, content enough with just listening to what he was saying. It was relaxing to listen to him talk and talk and talk, to listen to his husky voice wrap around me like a cloak, warming me, keeping me safe.

Esme and Carlisle were outside, sitting on a set of lawn chairs when we arrived at the house, and she smiled brightly at the sight of us holding hands, and probably looking even more lovey dovey than we should. Carlisle was following us earnestly as we neared him, and then he smiled too, and clasped his hands firmly in front of his face.

"Seems as if the news that got to us via Seth was true, then," he stated with a grin as Esme nodded by his side.

I beamed at him and shrugged slightly. "Apparently so."

Their eyes were both resting on our joint hands, finding enormous interest in them. "Best of luck," Esme said, in her soft maternal tone, and in a flash, she was up beside me, her arms gently enfolding me in her embrace, wrapping me in her scent that had slowly become a little bit more than bearable. I wasn't so repelled and revolted by it now, and no matter how close she got, I no longer got the urge to run away screaming at the top of my lungs. She lingered with her arms around me for a few more seconds before she pulled back slightly and said, as softly as she could, "Good luck, Leah."

Rosalie was beaming inside the house, arms resting firmly in her lap as Jacob slowly drifted away from me and settled down on the sofa, opposite her heavy, weighing gaze. She didn't say anything, which was weird for Rosalie because she always had something to say, usually. I sat down beside Jacob and watched her face turn from one of serenity, into one of sheer happiness.

"I don't know why, but I guess somewhere in my mind, I always knew you two would end up together. Don't tell me why I thought you would, but I just did," she mumbled with a small wink. I guess she was about to say something else when we were interrupted by heavy footfalls coming from the stairs.

"Leah got laid!" Emmett called out as he flew into the room and wrapped his arms loosely around my neck. He started rocking me from side to side, laughing loudly as he did so. Even Rosalie couldn't suppress a laugh and Jacob was clutching his sides beside me, unable to do or say anything. When Emmett stopped and settled down on the love seat with his hands behind his head, he looked over at Jacob, who was busy wiping the tears from his eyes and started tapping his chin slowly. "So, Black, is she any good?"

"_What?"_ I nearly choked on the word itself as Jacob smiled brightly beside me and sat up straighter on the couch.

"Ah-mazing," he drawled out dreamily, and he earned a slap to the back of his head from me. Nevertheless, he smiled in my direction and reached out to clutch my hand and squeeze it gently. I rolled my eyes at him, but I found myself scotching over, closer to him, as if by some ancient habit I harboured all the time. Rosalie smiled brighter and stole a glance at Emmett before, suddenly, her face fell into a look of dismay and her gaze bounced off to stare behind our heads, at the front door.

I smelt her before I saw her, and even with my enhanced, super fast wolf senses, I didn't get the notion to let go of Jacob's hand, which was now interlaced with mine on my thigh. So when Bella waltzed into the living room, all dreary eyes and slouching shoulders, the very first thing she noticed was our hands.

The second thing she noticed, I guess, was the _smell._ No matter how many times I showered and lathered myself in soap until my knuckles went red and my skin became raw, I still couldn't get rid of the smell of sex from all over my body. I felt myself going red as realization struck her in the face, in embarrassment that I had no idea what it had been caused by. I had no reason to be embarrassed in front of Bella because I'd slept with Jacob. He was no longer crawling on his knees for her tiny, cruel little heart, so she no longer had any hold on him—not that she should ever have had any type of hold on him.

Jacob didn't so much as flinch when Bella averted her gaze from our hands to his face and stopped sniffing. I guess she thought I wasn't privileged enough for her to even look at me, but I didn't really give a shit. I looked away, waiting for her to erupt on one of her vain, selfish rants.

"Aren't you sleeping with the town whore, then?" she sneered, her voice high-pitched and oozing anger and jealousy.

"It's not your choice Bella, leave it alone."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, raising her hands to rest on her hips. "Let's wait until she gives you some STD, Jake, _then_ we'll fucking talk about it."

Jacob didn't say anything and I guess that probably made her madder—did she expect him to agree with her? Agree that he was sleeping with a whore? No man can admit to that. I stared straight ahead of me, watching Rosalie and Emmett watch Bella melt down into the bitter, old hag that she really was.

"I don't have to tell you with whom I'm sleeping and I don't need to hear your opinions about it."

Her fist tightened around the material of her shirt and I literally thought she was going to tear it as she did her best to maintain her self control. But after a few minutes of trying to keep it together, she threw her hands up around her face and screeched in frustration.

"How could you sleep with Leah so soon after Reneesme's death? How could _you_?" she screamed, her shoulders shaking. She was really scary like that—I liked to think that I wasn't scared of anything, let alone anyone—but right now; I could have shat myself (maybe with laughter, maybe in fear...).

"Not everything's about Reneesme, you know," Jacob mumbled, and then, with a collective sigh around the room, he knew that he'd crossed a fat, terrible line. But he didn't just shut up: he felt that he should make it worse. "She's dead, Bella."

Bella growled, and for a split second, I thought she was going to make a lunge for his throat and wrap her marble fingers around it and squeeze the life out of him. She didn't, but I could see the anger boiling up inside her.

"Bella..." a smooth voice said softly, somewhere behind us, and suddenly, two hands appeared on her shoulders and slowly pulled her away. She was staring at Jacob again, but her eyes were dead, her face was dead and that was worse than her lashing out at us. To see the dead look on her face and not hear the words that should go with it, would leave me imagining every possible word she could have thrown in our direction, which was more painful than actually hearing them to my face.

I mean, Bella wasn't my most favourite person in the world, but hell, she had just lost her daughter—she had every right to be... mean. I could sympathise with her, in a twisted way, but sometimes, she went too far with it all and she pushed people's buttons until the only option was to hurt her feelings in order for her to shut up. Edward was back in the room a few seconds later, and as he settled down on the couch beside me, I thought I heard a faint sobbing slowly drifting away from the house, farther and farther until I couldn't hear it anymore.

Only then, when the sobbing got too far away for us to hear, did Edward exhale deeply, reach for the guitar resting against the sofa and turn towards me, with hurt in his eyes. "Let's start, then..."

-:-

My mom smiled at me as I stepped into the kitchen. I guess she sensed that I'd taken a turn for the better ever since it'd sunken in that I could be a mom, and that I could be one soon. I was a happier person all round, and I didn't regret any second of it.

"We have a pack barbecue tonight," she announced as she wrapped a sandwich in foil and placed it on the counter amongst others.

"Really?" I said, as I unwrapped one of the sandwiched and took a huge bite out of it, much to my mother's dismay.

"Yes. It's sort of a farewell to Sam before he officially leaves the pack."

"Oh... I see," I nodded between mouthfuls. "How is Emily?" And as soon as those words slipped from the tight grasp of my lips, I regretted it. How could I have been so stupid? Broaching the subject of Emily would unavoidably lead to an argument with whomever I was talking to, because it would always end up with me being the fucking bitch that I usually was. My mom seemed genuinely shocked at my question and, quite frankly, I couldn't blame her.

"She's okay. She was here yesterday, when you were over at the Cullens' house. She's... anxious to get pregnant, you know? She's afraid she won't be able to give Sam kids."

I sighed and put down the sandwich. "I wouldn't worry too much if I were her. Imprints are specifically designed to give birth to a stronger generation of wolves—I don't see how Sam could imprint on anyone who won't be able to give him kids. It doesn't make any sense when you think about it."

"I told her the very same thing, but she won't believe me."

I ran my fingers over the creases of the foil the sandwich had been wrapped in as I did my best not to blow it. "Don't you think she's worrying about something that's _pretty fucking stupid_?"

It came out a bit more blunt than I wished it and my mom flinched at my words, but remained silent and didn't so much as spit a word in my direction. I could sympathise with her: Emily had, after all, been a much better daughter to her than I had, so it only seemed right for her to be so worried about her. But she had to admit, Emily had nothing to worry about really.

"Yes, she is Leah, but she's your cousin—"

"I know I've said these words like a million times, Mom, but it still hurts when you talk about Emily's fucking perfect life and her fucking idiotic problems. I know I shouldn't ask about her, and that's basically why I never talk about her or mention her at any time—because no matter at which angle we look at it, it's always the same picture that you make me look at: I'm always the bad person and she's the eternally sinless woman who can do no harm. Do you think that's fair?"

"Why do have to be so hurtful, Leah? I know I haven't been of much help when it came to the imprint thing, because even though we're so alike in character, I've never been truly able to control you. That had always been your Dad's speciality—_you'd_ been your Dad's speciality, and I have no idea what to say or do that would help you, in any way. I know you think I prefer Emily over you, but that's just something you've made yourself believe. Do you honestly think, Leah, that for one second, I would have wanted to hold Emily's children over yours? Or to help plan Emily's wedding over yours? Because if so, then I suggest you get your facts straight and stop trying to fog up the looking glass."

I didn't know what to say. My mom had hit every single sore spot directly on the head, leaving no room for me to squirm in, or to escape her penetrating gaze, for that matter. She hadn't been the best mother to me, but then again, I hadn't given her much to deal with. I stared at the wall for a good ten minutes before I was snapped out of it by the sound of my mother zipping the picnic cooler shut close to my ear. I blinked and looked at her, before I took the cooler from her arms and headed out the front door, grabbing my hoodie on the way out.

The sky was a mixed palette of colours: the sun was setting and so there was an array of oranges, pinks, purples and blues above me as I stepped out and onto the front lawn. I waited for my mom to close the door behind her, before we set off together, towards First Beach, where we were meeting. I didn't say anything, and neither did she: there was no need to. There were a couple of other people walking a few yards in front of us, and when I saw this cluster, I couldn't help the pride that swelled inside me. Even though being a wolf had ruined my life, then made it great again, I still couldn't help but to marvel at how great we actually were. We were something the world had never seen, and never would: the world's best kept secret.

The sand was cool and fresh beneath my toes and I tried my best not to think of _that_ night with Jacob on this very same beach. But as I set my gaze on the simmering fire a little way off, surrounded by at least a dozen bodies, it wasn't such a problem doing so. Jacob still wasn't there, and Billy neither, so I handed the picnic cooler to my mom and settled down on one of the planks of wood they had prepared for the barbecue. Sitting like that, I could see all the faces of my family:

Quil, Rachel, Paul, Jared, Kim, Embry, Collin, Brady, Tom, Mason, Ethan, Old Quil, Sam, Emily, Seth, my mom...

I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face as I looked at each and every person, with the fire casting strange shadows all over their faces. Quil was sitting beside me, his arm extended, beckoning to my mother for a sandwich, and just opposite, there was Rachel—all huddled up in Paul's hoodie. They seemed so content together, with Paul's arms wrapped around her and his face resting on her shoulder, trapping her, keeping her as close as ever.

Suddenly, my own prince came and wrapped his arms around me, positioning me between his open legs, and placing my head just below his chin, earning curious glances from the rest of the pack, and smiles from my mom, Billy, Old Quil and the older wolves. No one commented on our seating arrangement and the low hum of conversation returned as everyone began talking again. But I wasn't entirely in the conversation: I was lost in my own world, too happy to care, too safe to worry.

I was content like this, in Jacob's arms, and I was ready to stay like this forever.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Twilight, and all the characters (save a few) mentioned in this story belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

******I'm going to start off by apologising. I have absolutely no idea how long it's been since I updated this story, but I just recently finished up the plot, and now I can finally, and properly, continue and finish the story. **

**I'm going to recap a bit, for those who have forgotten what I'm going on about. So, Reneesme has died, yes. And we have found out that Rachel is the next pack healer, _and_ that Leah and Jacob are mates- hence the imprint-like bond between the two. In the final two chapters (that is, Chapters 26 and 27), Leah and Jacob finally accepted the bond between them, and- ta-da!- now they're together! But, is it so simple, really?**

* * *

Chapter 28

Leah Clearwater

When in life you see that things are actually going well for you—you spend a few days happy, you get your way, everything is easy—then you can damn well say that something horrible is going to come your way eventually.

Walking around with that notion constantly in mind, it was like I was carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders. Every compliment, every smile, I dreaded, because I knew that it would only bring me further to a scary downfall. I feared things between Jacob and I would turn sour, or someone I loved would get killed... I didn't know...

_Leah?_ Jacob asked as we ran the perimeter together. We'd grown fond of patrolling together, and the other wolves hadn't found any real opposition to it. Though some had argued that we'd get easily distracted, over time we'd proven ourselves capable and they'd shut up about it.

_Yeah?_

_You okay? You seem distracted..._

_No, everything's fine, _I snapped quickly—a bit _too_ quickly, I guessed—but Jacob grunted a response and left me alone to guard my thoughts warily. Though we were extremely close—almost too in tune to each other at times—that didn't mean that we didn't disagree, or fight, between us. In fact, I rather enjoyed having Jacob challenge me: it kept me on edge and, well, it was a _hell_ of a turn-on.

Jacob heard that thought and barked a laugh.

_Hold onto your ego, Black, _I spat as I dodged a boulder. I was about to throw an insult his way, when suddenly, a horrible, bitter sweet scent invaded my nostrils. I paused, ears perking up, tail rigid and haunches rising slightly. _What's that?_

_The Cullens, you weirdo. You haven't phased in a _long _time, have you?_

I shrugged it off, then trotted after Jacob past a couple of trees, where Edward stood, hands dug deep in his pockets, shoulders slumped and his eyes flitting quickly from one random object to another until they settled on us, and his tense posture relaxed slowly.

"Hello Jacob, Leah," he said with a terse nod, before we parted ways and phased behind a couple of bushes close by. Jacob seemed a bit unnerved by the tension that Edward had brought with him, and I didn't try to talk to him, or ask him what was wrong.

"What's up, Ed?" Jacob asked, getting to the point immediately. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared Edward down, who in turn, took his hands out of his pockets and started wringing his fingers together through and through.

"Alice... well, Alice had a vision. The Denalis decided to attack, but since they know about Alice's ability to foresee any decisions they make, they are not making up their mind on a date, so they are basically keeping us on our toes. But they're not coming to fight us. They're coming to fight you."

"As werewolves?" I interjected, anger boiling quickly through my veins.

"Yes," he answered with a quick nod, then hissed slightly when I started to growl.

"Well," I began, moving over towards him and jabbing a finger to his chest, "that isn't fair on us, is it? Seeing as we got into this mess all because of _Bella_, huh?"

"We can't do anything about it, Leah. Believe me, if we could, we would. But they are dead set on you, there's no way we'll get them to change their minds, even if we wanted to."

"Oh, _there_ we go. Wasting our asses on patrolling your lands day and night to make sure that no harm comes your way, and the simple favour that we ask you—to help spare the lives of a bunch of kids—you quickly deny it because you are _incapable._ That's pathetic, Edward. If you're going to come up with an excuse, at least make it worthwhile, _please_."

"Leah," Jacob said, placing a hand on my shoulder and pulling me back. "Let me handle this. Go home, round up the guys for a pack meeting in my backyard. Give me a few minutes, I'll be there soon."

"What the—"

"_Go_. Listen to me," he stated, and even though it was not an Alpha command, those four simple words held a certain weight to them which meant that they couldn't just be ignored. With a small nod, I backed away slowly, before I broke into a sprint, not bothering to go through the hassle of phasing to get back to La Push.

"Seth!" I yelled as I barged through the back door, "Pack meeting at Jake's _now_. Go down and round up Tom, Mason, Ethan, Collin and Brady. I'll go over to the rest. Paul's probably over at Billy's already..." I mumbled on as I opened the front door. Seth bounded down the stairs, apparently happy during these small hours of the morning. I honestly don't remember a time when Seth was depressed or _not_ happy, except for when our dad died, but I'd been too miserable myself to care what others were going through.

"Fine," he fired back, running down the front yard and turning left to call upon the others. With a slight shake of the head at his naivety, I closed the door behind me and went in the opposite direction. Quil and Embry were both asleep—knocked out like the dead—when I knocked on their doors. Quil, unlike Embry, threatened to pummel me if I didn't stop pounding on his door at two in the fucking morning, but he stopped after he earned a disapproving glare from Old Quil and followed me down to Embry's house. Embry was a bit more understanding and mellow when we knocked on his door—namely because he'd heard us making our way up the yard and didn't want us to wake up his mom.

Quil then offered to call up Sam and Jared, and so, Embry and I made our way to Jake's place, where Paul was already waiting in the back yard with Seth and the pups around him.

"Like a fucking pedo," Quil mumbled as we reached them, and Paul shot a fierce death glare in his way, before he shook his fist in Quil's face, as a threat.

"I won't even say a word, Ateara. _You_ have been warned," Paul whispered, before he grabbed Quil in a head lock and lowered him to the ground. All the other pups started to woot and encouraged their immature wrestling, as Paul and Quil rolled around on the soil playfully. I didn't stop it: it wasn't real, and they needed a bit of fun before things got serious again. I stood by, watching their interactions with each other: the way the younger pups threw hints at Paul and Quil, the way Seth and Collin wagered bets on who would win...

Something swelled inside me. Something slightly foreign, and yet, my body welcomed it readily, absorbing it like a mother holds her child to her body. And, maybe it _was_ a maternal feeling... a sense of love that tied me to these kids, some way or other. They looked up to me, in twisted ways, respected me... Now that Jake and I had accepted our heritage, they no longer fantasised about me, much to Jacob's happiness.

"Cut it out, you morons," Jacob barked as he emerged from the woods, and Quil and Paul immediately stopped, and picked each other off of the ground. Jacob watched as they rearranged themselves, before he sat down amongst them. I, instinctually, fell to his side, as all the others sat in a circle around us, watching and waiting intently on Jacob's next word. "I was just talking to Edward. He said that Alice saw that the Denalis had decided on attacking us, but that a date had not been decided upon. They also specifically decided on attacking _us—_the werewolves—so you guys know what that means."

"Training?" Embry muttered, as he kicked the soil at his feet.

"Oh, awesome!" Paul hollered, "Let's crack some skulls!"

The younger pups were ecstatic at the news. They'd never been part of a proper battle before, so this was all new to them. Their enthusiasm frightened me—it would be hard to calm them down and get them to understand the direness of the situation.

"_Paul_," Jacob growled, eyes narrowing as they settled on Paul's bouncing form.

"What? Oh, come on, Jake. We haven't had any action in _months_."

"Shut up. Now, since I've only just gotten this news, you're going to have one day off until I come up with a training schedule for everyone. I'll ask the Cullens if they're up to helping us train: we will be fighting vampires, after all."

-:-

_Clink._

What the fuck?

_Clink._

I sat up in bed, throwing the sheets off of me and stalking over to the window. Jacob's scent filled my nostrils as I pulled up the window and peered down at the dark figure below.

"So cliché, Jacob," I whispered as I rolled my eyes. Jacob laughed as he climbed the side of my house and leapt into my room.

"I wasn't about to use the front door to ask your mom if she'd let me get into bed with her daughter. Your mom might be small, but she's pretty lethal. And scary," he explained as he lay down on my bed and held his head in his hands.

"And to think... our Almighty Alpha is reduced to mush by my tiny mother," I sighed as I straddled him and traced my fingers along his chest. "What's keeping you up, huh?"

Jacob closed his eyes for a moment, and I got caught up in his beauty: the way the moon clashed with the prominent definition of his nose, his steeled jaw, his smooth, satin skin... He grabbed my hips and pulled me down beside him, holding me to his side. "Just... well, I'm freaking out about having to train those idiots we call our pack. _And_ the fact that I may be possibly leading all of them to their deaths..."

"Oh, come on, Jacob. They're just a clan. They're smaller than the Cullens—about five, right? What's so deadly about _that_? We're a pack of _thirteen_, we can take them with our eyes closed."

"That's not what's worrying me. The attack is going to be a surprise attack. If they pick out our weakest fighters and attack them when they're alone, they're dead meat. We basically have to be on-call all the fucking time when Alice senses that they're near, to make sure that none of the younger ones get caught alone."

"So, it's pretty simple, then," I reasoned, propping myself up on my elbow to look down at his face. "We split up in groups of three, with two groups of two: you and a younger cub, Sam and another. We rotate patrols during the day and night with..."

"... four hour shifts for each group. That makes sense," he said as he sat up and fished around for a piece of paper and pencil. He started scribbling down all of our names, then he turned the paper back to me. "Okay, who with who?"

"You and Ethan. He's a bit more floozy than the others, so I'm thinking if you're there... well, yeah, you'll have to take them on yourself. But you're strong, Jacob, we'll get to you in time. Then," I paused to think, my eyes skimming over the names on the list, "Sam and Mason. Paul and Tom and Collin. Jared, Quil and Seth, me, Embry and Brady. There you go, patrol schedule done," I explained with a flourish, laying back down on the bed, content with my work.

Jacob laughed, impressed. "Wow, Lee. You're a better Alpha than I am."

I shrugged. "I am a woman, after all."

"Yeah, whatever," he growled, as he buried his face in my neck and held me close, until we fell asleep to the sound of each other breathing.

-:-

After Jacob had split us up into the groups, he set us to strategizing against each other. Thankfully, I got along perfectly well with Embry, and I could stomach Brady as long as it wasn't in strong doses. Embry was a good enough fighter that he didn't need pointers on strategy. So, we set about to helping Brady become more finessed. He was a very eager learner—surprisingly—and he made our jobs quite easier when he absorbed everything we told him in a split of a second.

The others were also doing quite well: the younger cubs were quick and lithe on their feet, not big, hulking figures like Jacob and Sam and Paul, so their battle tactics were very similar to mine. I honestly had no idea why Jacob was so worried about the Denali attack: we were a large pack, we could take them. But then again, I couldn't _possibly_ begin to understand or feel the responsibility that Jacob had to shoulder every day. Any one of these kids died during the attack, Jacob would have to live his whole life with the burden that he brought the death upon the pack.

The Cullens, surprisingly, were helpful during training. Well, all of the Cullens except Bella, who refused to partake in any thing we were a part of. Unlike her, however, all the others had moved on, and were looking for other avenues to pursue.

Jasper and Emmett helped out in planning the battle, much like they had helped out before the newborn attack. They repeated most of the stuff that they said back then, but they warned us that the Denalis—thought few in number—were old vampires, and so, experienced. Gone was the importance given to the fact that we couldn't let them wrap their arms around us... that warning didn't count any more. The less physical contact that occurred between vampire and werewolf during the attack, the better.

The cubs, this time round, were less afraid, and I could tell that that annoyed Jacob to no end.

"They can't get all cocky and shit... it'll ruin them if they do. They have to remain concentrated and serious: this is a matter of life or death," Jacob rambled on, long after every one had phased out and ran back home. We were strolling casually towards the treaty line—Jacob, Seth, Quil and I—after training, exchanging views on the whole situation.

"Jacob, have some fucking faith in them. They're not idiots; you saw how they were training today—"

"Do you listen to their thoughts on patrol?" Jacob snapped, glaring at Quil. Quil cowered into my side—the wolves had realised, over time, that using me as a cover-up would ensure that their asses remained intact. Of course, they assumed Jacob wouldn't ever be able to hurt me, or anyone in my presence, that is.

"They're shitty thoughts," Seth interjected with a small nod. "Last time I was patrolling with Mason and he drove me insane—it's like reading his freaking diary. _And_ he's got a crush on some chick on the res, and almost all his thoughts revolve around her and her... naked." Seth shuddered at these words and I smirked. Quil nodded in agreement.

"That's what you guys get for snooping around me when we started phasing and _then_ having the audacity to think about me naked when I was phased in too."

"Oh, Leah, don't start with that again. Nobody cares about you naked anymore," Quil whined, dragging his feet as he followed us. He stopped for a second, then grinned. "Well, except for Jacob."

Seth punched Quil before Jake could.

"Thanks," Jake mumbled in his direction before he slung his arm over my shoulder. I, however, did not enjoy the banter between them. I didn't like being the brunt or the cause of a fight between two men. Certain women—or a majority of them—would do anything in the world to have two men fight over them, but not me. It made me feel inferior, kind of like some silly china doll who was incapable of doing anything and was only to be confined to a showcase, never to be moved.

Even though it bothered, I decided to remain quiet. Jacob had enough on his plate—he didn't need a screaming Leah at the moment.

"I'm going to see Rachel and Marla," I quipped, before I set off running away from the guys, before any one of them could volunteer to join. The run over was invigorating—like any other run. I hadn't been to Marla's in a while, even though I knew it bothered Rachel when I didn't visit.

Both of them were waiting for me in Marla's back yard, Marla obviously having foreseen my arrival. Rachel seemed irritated. An irritated Rachel was never good.

"Leah Clearwater: how wonderful of you to grace us with your presence," Marla drawled out sarcastically. I rolled my eyes as I pushed past them, into the house.

"How are you guys?" I asked, ignoring their bitter remarks.

Rachel followed me in and set about making a cup of coffee. "Okay, I guess." She stood in the doorway, peering at something behind her, before she turned her attention back to me, and stared at me tersely. "I'm worried about Marla," she whispered, moving closer to me to ensure that Marla didn't eavesdrop on the conversation.

"What? What's wrong?"

She drummed her fingers on the kitchen counter. The small sounds increased the tension in the stuffy kitchen tenfold. I wanted to slap Rachel to get her to stop. She didn't, and spent another five minutes doing so, before she turned to me and sighed. "I think she's got cancer. Or some form of cancer. I don't know. She won't go to get it checked—says she's never stepped foot in a hospital before, and doesn't plan to any time soon.

"Cancer? Why do you suspect that?"

"She's showing all the signs of skin cancer or melanoma, Lee."

It was common understanding on the reservation, that when people were diagnosed with cancer, it was usually skin cancer. It was understandable, as the people on the res spent every waking day outside— rain or shine.

"Well, what are we going to do about her?"

She sighed and stared at me coldly. Rachel was becoming even more and more like Marla every day. I wanted to point that out to her, but decided against it and stayed quiet. I, myself, knew the answer to my question actually. If we expected the Elders to take any interest in Marla, we'd have to find out what had brought about the hostility between the two parties. There was obviously some bad blood between them, as my mom was never too keen on me being with Marla frequently.

"I'll talk to your dad and Old Quil, find out what I can from them. Maybe they can convince her to go to a hospital or something," I mumbled as I filed out of the kitchen. "But you should know, the chances of this working out are very slim. Marla is a very stubborn woman."

-:-

I'd picked up Billy on my way to Old Quil's, as I decided that confronting them together would be the best way to go. My mom, despite being an Elder, was hardly as experienced as these two. Billy did not question my motive for taking him out in the afternoon. I guessed he liked having an excuse not to stay cooped up indoors.

"Leah, Billy," Old Quil greeted tersely as he stepped aside to let me wheel Billy into his tiny home. Old Quil's home gad never been a favourite with me: it was just too creepy for my liking... Too many dead animal heads hanging from the walls as souvenirs of Old Quil's triumphant life for my liking. Nevertheless, I chose to ignore the various members staring down at me as I pulled up the brakes on Billy's wheelchair.

"So... What brings you here?"

Billy jerked his thumb in my direction and shrugged. I grinned and brushed some dirt off of my pants.

"I... Need to know about Marla, the healer. What's the deal with her?"

Both were quiet for a long time. I was starting to get annoyed before Billy cleared his throat and Old Quil started rambling on.

"Marla comes from a long line of pack healers that date back to Taha Aki's first pack. It's in her blood to heal, and we believe that the healing traditions are passed on from spirit to spirit. Marla was chosen to be the next healer from a very young age— she studied with Ruth all the necessary things and manners she'd need to know, then shortly after, Ruth died, leaving Marla alone. As a rule, healers were always required to live in the forest: in this way, they would be close to the surrounding shrubbery and herbs that they so frequently use in their healing processes. However, these houses were always quite isolated from the rest of the reservation, and when Marla ended up alone; she requested to have her home moved closer to the others'. The Elders, however, refused. Because of this, Marla spent her adolescence rebelling against the tribe: engaging in inappropriate activities with other tribe members, and pale faces, going against the healer regulations and such...

"Eventually, Marla got pregnant. The father was unknown—one of her various exploits—and though the Elders encouraged her to keep the child, Marla decided to have an abortion, in order to continue her healer duties properly. Healers are usually restricted to living alone for their whole lives, except if the healer is imprinted—Rachel, in this case. As you know, the tribe is extremely pro-life, so imagine their shock when Marla removed the baby. Her punishment for disrespecting the wants of the tribe was that they banished her from the reservation, however made her live close enough to the reservation, but not in it—where she lives now."

I glared at both men before me as Quil wrapped up his explanation. I had to agree with them, Marla's actions were inappropriate: ever since I was a little girl, the Elders had always instilled within me a desire to keep everything around me alive. Even the tiniest ant would go unscathed if I could decide it. Everyone on the rez regarded the miracle of life as the greatest miracle of all. And I'd never really heard of anyone having an abortion on the reservation. So I could only empathise with the Elders for punishing Marla as they had. What angered me was that, despite the passing of many years, and the changing of the Elders, the punishment had still remained there, forever to remain unchanged.

"Do you plan on keeping the punishment?"

"Why not?" Old Quil snapped at me, whilst Billy nodded in agreement. At times, I really hated the fact that the Elders were just that: _Elders_. Their mindset was very narrow most of the times—it was very difficult to make them bend their judgement to accommodate the passing of time.

"Marla is dying—Rachel has confirmed her suspicions. Marla does not wish to be taken to a hospital; she wishes to die at home. Cannot we grant her her death wish, to die on the reservation? Her _true_ home?" I pleaded, my eyes darting from Old Quil to Billy and back.

Billy shifted uncomfortably in his wheel chair, and was about to say something, but he was soon interrupted by a distinct, helpless howl in the distance. I flew off of the couch, out Old Quil's front door and into the forest close by. I sprinted deeper into the trees, only phasing when I was safely out of sight of any nearby human.

_What happened?_ I shot out immediately as an array of thoughts assaulted me.

_They're here._

_Who was on patrol?_ Jacob asked immediately, cutting to the chase.

_Sam and Mason,_ Paul stated, _we rotated a few hours ago. _

_Can you hear them?_

I stopped thinking for a moment, and scanned everyone else's' thoughts. I found Sam's thoughts quickly—they were the only thoughts, along with Mason's, that revolved around strategy. I caught a glimpse of the advancing the vampires, then channelled it to the other wolves. Immediately, everyone picked up the pace, pushing ourselves to the utmost limit to get to Sam and Mason in the least time possible.

_Come on, guys,_ Jacob urged, barking out as he weaved his path around trees and bushes and stones gracefully. Everyone followed suit, wasting no time, or as little of it as possible.

Jacob and I cut off from the others, since we were the fastest. I pounded harder against the forest floor, willing myself to go faster, and I did, following Sam's scent and thoughts to get to him.

_What was that, Brady?_ Jacob asked suddenly.

_I smell vampire—_

_Of course you smell vampire, Nimrod._

_No, no, it's one of the Cullens. _

Then, we all froze.

Through Mason's mind, we saw how he spotted one of the vampires emerging from between the trees, stance defenceless, eyes trained on Mason. The pup, ever so eager, and scared, launched himself at the vampire, straight for her neck. She did not move to defend herself, did not even flinch as Mason wrapped his teeth around her marble neck and snapped her head off.

Sam barked madly somewhere in Mason's head, and Mason stepped away from the dismembered vampire, enough to allow us to see her lifeless face.

_Oh, Bella..._


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello err'body!**

**Now, this has been a long time coming, but it's also the longest chapter this story has got :) I'm quite proud of it, as it helps in wrapping up the story (yes, it is going to end _very_ soon) and it has gotten quite a big weight off of my chest. I am on a roll right now, so I think Chapter 30 will be churned out pretty quickly *fingers crossed* BUT I am not making any promises :/ Enjoy the chapter, and to those who will review: A HUGE THANKS, and lots of cookies :D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned here... Sad, inn't? It all belongs to Mrs. Stephanie Meyer :)**

* * *

Chapter 29

Leah Clearwater

The Denalis stood before us, silent, with mocking looks upon their faces. They had enough reason to be mocking, sure, but it still pissed me off, especially with Bella's lifeless remains burning in the distance.

A dark purple plume of smoke rose up in the distance, casting terrible shadows across the vampires' faces. All the wolves around me were tense, waiting upon any decision Jacob was bound to make. The Denalis had insisted upon burning Bella's remains—they stated simply that Edward would have enough to deal with her death, let alone with watching her decapitated body burn in a fit of flames.

We were waiting for the Cullens to return—they were out hunting, it seemed, for the house had been empty. Paul and Jared had been sent to call them back home, and they had been explicitly warned to guard their thoughts.

Jacob phased and pulled on a pair of sweats, to be able to further communicate with them.

"Edward will be very grieved," one of them stated. They all looked horribly alike to me, but I guess, we did look this way to them, too.

"Yes, he will," Jacob said sadly. There was something dead in his eyes. Bella, despite having broken his heart years back, had always held an important place in Jacob's heart—I could never dispute that. To watch someone die so horribly, and due to such a sad cause, was heart breaking.

I'd always thought that, on some levels, they'd all gotten over Nessie's death. Bella had always been a wild card. My stomach churned when my brain remembered that Bella had killed herself for her daughter. I closed my eyes to hold the tears away, as I realised that I had been held witness to the disintegration of a family. Of three perfect members, only one remained, and I was highly doubtful of how long Edward would hold on.

A rumbling in the distance announced their arrival. Paul and Jared's heavy footfalls made me even sadder—as if that were possible. I slowly collapsed to the forest floor, nesting my head on my paws and observing the scene around me as it unfolded. The sadness flowed through me like a river—thick and heavy. It was weighing me down, tiring my mind.

Paul and Jared trotted over to us and fell in line with the rest. Their sad eyes watched as the Cullens ran into the clearing and paused to observe the purple plume of rising smoke. I watched as their eyes grazed over the Denalis, registering which one of them had been killed, then to us, counting our numbers. I guarded my thoughts as I locked eyes with Edward, who seemed to pale significantly, as if it were possible.

His golden eyes darkened and he reached out and gripped Carlisle's shoulder until his marble knuckles glistened in the light.

"No," Alice whispered, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, and that was when Edward lost it.

He fell to the ground, his hands clawing at the dirt and grass, his eyes boring into the fire that had consumed his wife... he crawled, like some scum of the Earth, towards the fire, dragging his body with him as he sobbed and cried out in pain. His family all tried to hide their pain, masking it behind impassive facades, but Esme quickly broke down, sobbing tearlessly at the loss of her daughter.

Carlisle comforted her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. As if it were possible, my heart continued to break. Edward had stopped screaming and was now sitting silently by the fire. His back was to us, hunched and stooped, his face almost in the flames. I thought he was going to fling himself into them, but my thoughts were cut short when Edward's head snapped up to look at me and he hissed in my direction.

"Carlisle, if there is anything we can do to help..." Jacob hinted, and Carlisle cut him off with a curt nod.

"Leave, please," Edward whispered, wrapping his arms around his mid-section and rocking slowly back and forth.

It took a moment for his request to sink in, but when it did, everyone slowly filed away. The Denalis shared a brief moment of sorrow with the Cullens before they left off. One of them, a cherry blonde, let her gaze linger on Edward for a while before she jetted off after her family.

Who knows... maybe Edward could have a semblance of a decent future somehow.

He hissed again, and I turned my tail to follow the rest.

"Can you stay, Leah, please?" he said softly, and I froze, and Jacob turned to face me. He reached a hand out, and ruffled the fur behind my ear.

"Go, Lee, I'll see you later."

With a brief nod, I darted behind a tree and phased quickly, pulling on my clothes then sprinting towards Edward's huddled form. The Cullens had left, too, leaving us alone in the clearing, the silence between us thick. I sat down, Indian-style, beside him, and stared at the fire with him. Bella's remains were only minutely visible. I watched as the flames lapped at her marble skin, eating away at her, killing her slowly.

"I'm sorry, Edward..."

"No," he cut me off, waving his hand at me dismissively in a limp manner. "It's my fault. I should have never left her alone. Bella had always remained unstable after Reneesme's death. I should have considered the pain that she was going through... helped her through it, not _forced_ her through it."

I was silent for a few seconds. "I understand loss, Edward. I lost my dad like you lost your wife and daughter. Life doesn't end after them. It may feel that way, but it doesn't end, I promise. You're strong, you can get through it, I swear. The loss of your daughter was a low-blow, as Reneesme was the picture of innocence... but Bella should have understood that taking her own life was not the solution to her pain. I admit, I had considered suicide after my dad died. It wasn't easy to grieve and mourn him when I had the potential to phase into a huge dog, and I had my own duties to fulfil. Killing myself, at that time, seemed like a very plausible way out. It was _easy._ I thought it would make everything simple. But it wouldn't. Suicide leaves more turmoil behind than any other thing—because whoever gets left behind feels that it's their fault, true or not.

"Edward, I may not like you very much, but I _do_ care about you, I swear. It scares me to think that Bella may bring you to this—I don't want you contemplating suicide. _Please._ You have so many people who love and respect you. Your parents, and brothers and sisters... This is a difficult time for you, I understand, but it's not the end, for sure. You can use this is a new beginning, you can _start over_. It's better to have loved and lost..."

"...than to never have loved at all," he finished for me, and turned his head to smile at me. "Every word you said was true, Leah. That is why I wanted you to stay with me. We may not get along much, but you're the most honest person I know... I knew you wouldn't try to pity me. I don't need pity. Pity will only send me down further in this abyss of misery. I must learn to get back on my feet again, be myself. I must learn to move on. Bella has given me things I'd never thought I'd have—a daughter, a wife, a marriage... Now I must learn to appreciate what I had, and seek out better things."

Involuntarily, my hand rose up to stroke his hard shoulder, trying to channel strength into his weak and feeble form. Edward needed to be strong right now. He _needed_ it desperately.

"You'll be okay, Edward," I assured him, as I continued to stroke his shoulder.

* * *

I watched as Jacob brought the lighter to the pile of twigs we'd set up in his back yard. The tiny flame slowly grew and encompassed all the twigs and sticks until it engulfed it all, and blew up into a cloud of red and orange and yellow. Tiny sparks flew around us, and I extended my hands to feel the warmth rolling in waves off of the flames.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, tucking the lighter into his pocket and settling down opposite me, crossing his legs and grinning brightly.

"I am," I said with a curt nod. "Still a bit overwhelmed with... the whole Edward- Bella thing. But I'm adjusting. I'm just worried about Edward."

"I am, too. Good thing the treaty was abolished... I don't think I could have lived with Mason getting into _that_ kind of trouble. He's in a bad enough state as it is. Sam is watching him on the clock, to make sure he doesn't do something stupid or irrational, as I fear he is bound to do."

I shook my head. "You underestimate the pups too much, Jake. They're not half as bad, believe me. We have to consider that they're still pretty young. Quite mature for that age, and also putting in the phasing and wolf factors into the equation."

He shrugged and continued to smile. "I love how you stand up for them... for the little kids. I think it's instinctual," he explained and I blushed at his words.

"I don't know... it just _happens_."

"You're going to make a great mom someday, Lee. Our kids will adore and love every pore of your body. I promise," he said with conviction, and I watched as he slinked his way towards me until he pulled me into his lap and nestled his face in my neck. "As will I."

I smiled and stroked his cheek, holding him close. "Things are finally calming down, Jake. The Denali thing is over. The Cullens will probably move soon. We can stop phasing. Our lives will go back to normal. We will be able to grow old... together."

"It's kind of hard to believe, huh?"

"It is."

He stuttered for a second, then launched a question in my direction. "Would you be able to leave your wolf?" I turned around to glare at him but my frown softened when I saw the genuine concern and curiosity in his eyes.

"Well, she's been with me for years now. It's like asking me to leave my sister. I know she hasn't been with me from the start, and it has been difficult adjusting to her, but now, it's as if she's fused to me. She's a part of me that is intricately woven to my spirit, so I don't think just letting her go would be so easy. It would be like I'm trying to detach myself from my arm, or my leg. What about you?"

Jacob wove his fingers into my hair before he sighed and began to talk. "Well, my wolf brought me to you, Lee. It's like I owe him something... for giving me you. And it would suck to not be able to eat a buffet without getting fat... and walk around half naked in the middle of winter..."

"Yeah, it would suck. I've lived these past few years always trying to find the negative in my wolf, when in reality, she gave me quite a lot of things to begin with. I met you, yes, and I'm a lot closer to Seth now. The whole pack is like one big family... imprints included," I added with a small wince. "I think, the first ones to stop phasing would have to be the pups. It would be cruel to prolong their wolf development... make them mature into full-grown wolves. It would be best to stop their phasing immediately. Do you think... we should stop it now?"

Jacob's even breathing was soothing. "We'll have to start telling them soon. Time to say goodbye to our generation of wolves."

* * *

Edward meticulously picked up each stick and twig upon which Bella had been burned, and placed them, with immense care, into a transparent plastic bag which he wanted to take home, place in a vase and bury with Reneesme. He'd appeared on my doorstep early in the morning and requested my company to what he wanted to do. Despite my tiredness, after a night of intense love-making with Jacob, I couldn't bear to neglect Edward in any way.

The way in which his stricken face grazed upon every object in his way, the way in which his posture seemed deflated, lifeless, _dead_.

"I spent some time thinking yesterday, Leah, and I would like to request a pleasure of you," he said suddenly, having stopped from whatever it was he was doing to look at me with his piercing, sad honey eyes.

"Of course, Edward, anything."

He nodded and slowly sealed the bag, sealing off Bella's remains. "My family has decided to leave Forks. It is of great importance for us to move on, so as not to raise suspicion in any way. Esme and Carlisle wish to try the Scandinavian parts of the world, whilst my brothers and sisters wish to travel northern Europe and Russia... then settle down in someplace quiet and dark. I, however, wish to remain with my wife and daughter, here, in Forks. The house is much too big for me, and I wouldn't be able to live in it, what with constantly being reminded of memories of Bella and Ness. If it is not too much to ask, I saw a view of the La Push cliffs in your head, and I have been entranced ever since, and I would like to build myself a cottage on the cliffs, and live the rest of my existence there, undisturbed, and not disturbing any one myself. _If it is not too much to ask._"

I stood, staring at Edward, as my brain tried to comprehend what he'd just asked of me.

"I'll talk to the Council."

"Thank you," he said softly, before he slowly walked away, cradling Bella's ashes to his chest.

I remained rooted to my spot for a few more seconds, my brain reeling from the news. This would not go down well with the Council. Logically, and realistically, they would pluck the seeds before they have time to be sown. It did not make sense for our tribe to welcome a vampire onto our lands to live there for the rest of his existence, but then again, Edward was not your average vampire.

I did not see any harm to having Edward live in La Push. This would, of course, mean that some one of us would have to keep on phasing regularly so as to ensure that no more kids phased themselves. Who that would be... would be decided only should the Council accept Edward's request, which in itself, was highly unlikely.

Reluctantly, I walked back to the rez, going straight to my house, where Jacob was still waiting for me to return.

"Hey, doll," he greeted as I walked in, but his face fell quickly when he saw the sad, worried expression marring my features. I did not feel so well. A part of me—a large part of me—desperately wanted to please Edward. I couldn't bear to break his heart _again_. He'd suffered enough. I wanted to give him this one little thing that could possibly keep him happy for the rest of his life. "What's wrong?" he asked, getting off of his chair and reaching over to hug me to him.

"I, ugh... Edward asked me a favour. He... he wants to build a cottage on the cliffs, and live there... well, I guess, forever."

Jacob rubbed soothing circles into my back. "You want it to happen, huh?"

I nodded. "I know I never really liked them, Jake, but I can't bear to tell him no. He won't be doing anything wrong by living up there. I'll keep on facing, it doesn't matter. He won't harm any one... he'll just be the mad man living up on the cliffs that no one knows. If we keep him here, we could use him as a bridge between us and any potential vampire nomads who are bound to end up here. We can ease his way into the Council, right?"

"I don't know, Lee. I'll talk to them myself, but please don't get your hopes up. You know how difficult they can be. They won't cater nicely to having a vampire living so close by. It doesn't bother me. I like Edward... on some levels. He's a good guy."

"He wants to stay in La Push with his wife and his daughter. It's only fair."

"I'll do my best, Lee. Now, come on, I called a pack meeting."

He led me out of the house, down towards First Beach where the whole pack was gathered, imprints and all. Once they saw us approaching, they all turned their bodies to face us, smiles gracing their beautiful faces.

"Hey everyone," Jacob greeted, sitting down on the sand next to Seth and pulling me down next to him. A chorus of 'hey's' and 'hi's' echoed around us, and Jacob quickly scanned the whole group to make sure that everyone was here. "Great, everyone's here. Now, guys, this is important. With the Denali issue out of the way, it is safe to say that we no longer have any more potential threats that may be of an issue to the tribe. I have given it a lot of thought, and I have come to the conclusion that it's time for us to stop phasing. I have decided that the younger wolves will stop phasing first. That is, Mason, Ethan and Tom, you guys will stop phasing first. After them, will be Seth, Collin and Brady. Then the rest of us will ease ourselves out of it. Of course, I'm going to give you the option to keep on phasing—for example, Quil, if you want to, you can keep on phasing in order to wait up for Claire. I suggest that those of you, who have imprinted, should stop phasing in order to catch up to your imprints. I'm going to leave it open for you guys. I would like to know who will continue to phase as soon as possible, though. There are some things that we have to settle."

"Which are...?" Sam asked as he held Emily to his side.

"First off, Edward has asked a favour of us." A chorus of groans ensued and Jacob rolled his eyes at their antics. "He wants to build a cottage up there," he explained, pointing up to the prominent cliffs overlooking the bay. "He wants to stay on La Push. I want to let him stay. Leah does too."

Sam glared at Jacob and shook his head slowly. "The Council won't allow it. It goes against our very existence, Jacob."

Emily whimpered softly against his side. "That would be cruel of them."

"It would," Kim chirped in, her eyes wide and scared. "He deserves to remain here, with his wife and daughter."

"Yeah, but what the hell does La Push have to do with anything? They lived in _Forks_. Their mansion, Bella's house, the school... everything was in _Forks_. This sudden need to move to La Push is all bullshit," Sam explained and I watched as all the other wolves slowly nodded in agreement.

In part, Sam's argument was extremely valid: Edward's affiliation with La Push was _strictly_ through us, his natural enemies. Besides us, there was nothing else tying him to it—the reservation. I'd overlooked this little detail, because of my sudden need to please him and make someone happy.

Was it because I so desperately wanted to change everyone's impression of myself? It seemed silly and childish of me to blame everything I did on this one fact. And most times, it wasn't even true.

Jacob sighed beside me. "Listen guys, I haven't talked to Edward myself. He talked to Leah—" At this, everyone turned to look in my direction, and I steeled my jaw against their heavy gazes. Jacob cleared his throat to regain their attention. "I'm right over here, you guys. As I was saying, what went on between Edward and Leah is their own business. What I'm proposing is that we _allow_ Edward to talk to the Council himself, without any interference from our part. Then, we go on from there."

After a few awkward glares and muted mumblings, they all slowly nodded in agreement. There was nothing wrong in allowing Edward to talk to the Council. In doing so, we would be swiftly avoiding an argument with the Elders. _Kudos to us._

"So, everyone agrees?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Sure."

"Yes."

"_Fine._"

Jacob grinned and rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Okay then, meeting dismissed. Go have yourselves a good time, you freaks."

I watched as the pack slowly shuffled away from us, silent conversation reaching our ears as they walked away. Only Sam and Emily remained, eyeing us eagerly.

"Sam?"

As soon as Jacob's acknowledgement reached them, they walked over to us, Sam pinning Emily to his side, as if she had suddenly become one of his limbs, and therefore, couldn't possibly live without.

"Need anything?" Jacob asked as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and buried his face in my hair. As I waited for them to explain themselves, my keen observation senses spurned me once again.

I noticed the too-gentle manner with which Sam handled Emily; even _more_ gentle than before.

The way in which he squared his shoulders with pride.

The way in which Emily rubbed her stomach almost instinctually.

Something inside me broke. I don't know why, and I don't know what it was, but it broke any way.

"We're having a child," Sam stated, pride dripping into every syllable. Emily's scarred face broke out into a happy grin, and she leaned into Sam further, allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist.

Jacob smiled against my scalp. "That's awesome, you guys. Congrats. Did you tell the Elders?"

"No, we told you first, since you're the Alpha pair and all..."

Jacob nodded in understanding. "Sure, thanks. Ems, be careful, okay? Good night you guys."

Both of them smiled at us then turned and walked away, to their house, leaving Jacob and I alone on First Beach.

"They were waiting for you to say something, Lee. _I_ wanted you to say something... take away a bit of the awkwardness, maybe."

I shrugged, letting my indifference show it's true, bright colours. I did not give a shit about Sam and Emily, especially now that they were having this _kid_. Another way to rub it in my face that they were better than I could ever possibly dream to be.

Despite my relationship with Jacob, a part of me would never be completely content with the situation. A part of me would always resent my cousin and Sam for all that they'd done. A part of me would always hate them. A part of me, albeit a small part, would still want them dead.

I shuddered at the depth of my thoughts. I scared myself, too.

"The pack's growing, huh?" I said finally, leaning back into his chest.

He started to ramble on, and I let his deep voice lull me into a peaceful state. Why should I still be so caught up in Sam and Emily now that I had Jake? It was foolish of me to try and hold onto that stupid part of me that was too hateful to see past her own nose. I had Jake now, I didn't need anything else. I could have a child if I wanted one, I had someone who loved me beyond compare, and I loved that same someone enough to hurt.

"As it should," he breathed. "We can help it ourselves, if you want to..." he said suggestively, and I playfully rammed my elbow into his stomach.

"You're not even close to being mature enough to have a kid, Jacob. Instead of having just one child to take care of, I'd have two little babies of my own."

He snorted and threw me onto the ground, then flipped himself onto me, placing his thigh between my own. "Do you really want me to show how much of a man I really am?"

I giggled, and pulled him down to me.

* * *

"How you guys doing?"

Tom glared at me, and I was about to slap that frown off of his face, but I managed to restrain myself, when I remembered that they were all probably going through hell now.

"Horrible," Mason mumbled, and Ethan nodded in agreement. Tom continued to glare at me, as if my very presence was repulsing him. I scowled at the kid, throwing him one of my signature death glares for good measure.

"Come on, guys, you can do it."

"Yeah, right," Tom said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Why don't you try it?"

"_Hey_, smart ass. Control your sass. I'm being patient with you here, but I don't plan on staying so for long, got it? Don't push me, Tom," I snarled and he seemed to melt into Ethan's side, trying to shield his body from my penetrating gaze.

I was standing outside with the pups as Edward talked to the Elders, because Jacob was afraid that something during the talk would anger the pups and make them change, basically screwing their scot- free record of not phasing for the past week. And so, he put _me_ in charge of three unstable kids. _Me_, the walking, talking, erupting volcano of disaster.

I sat down beside Mason, the most stable of them all, and started drumming my fingers against the log we were sitting on.

"Can you stop that, Leah?" Ethan mumbled softly, a hint of irritation making its way into his voice. I stopped immediately: I was really going to snap at him for stopping me, but just before I did so, I remembered that I was supposed to keep them calm, so like a little lamb, I shut up.

From inside, I could hear as Edward was advocating his wishes to the Elders, and they listened to him in silence. Jacob, Sam and Jared were inside. Seth, Paul, Collin and Brady were loitering about somewhere, catering to the Elders' every whim and need.

I tried not to pay attention to what he was saying, tried to get my mind off of what was going on inside. I watched the woods around us move in silence, watched the leaves float about around us... anything to get my mind off of the meeting.

It pained me to think Edward would get his heart broken again. Paul had crudely pointed out my strange attachment to the vampire, but I'd simply shrugged it off and told him to mind his own damn business. Sure, it was weird for me to want to do so much for this weird, vampire dude, but I couldn't help it; I knew, from personal experience, that there's only so much heart break one little person can take. It seemed to me the spirits sent as much turmoil and disaster as they could upon one man or woman, they simply told them to adjust to the changes, and go with the flow.

My anger towards the spirits was silly, I knew it, but it wasn't without cause, _surely_.

Silence engulfed us from inside the house and Seth turned from whatever it was he was doing and raised his brows at me in speculation. Edward suddenly walked out of Billy's house, a small, sad smile long lingering on his lips.

"So?"

"They said no," he breathed, and then he stalked away from the house, into the woods, towards his home. I stared after him, a frown settling on my features.

"Knew they would do it," Seth grumbled, kicking at rock in his path.

"I didn't think they would. I mean, there's _Sue_ there. She's supposed to be more compassionate and open to understanding people than most, no?" Collin asked, and Paul just shrugged him off.

"Elders will be Elders, I suppose," Paul shrugged, his nonchalance and indifference to the situation apparent in the look on his features.

"They're disgusting," I muttered and got off the log I was sitting on. I started to pace Billy's backyard until Jacob emerged and called me in.

"How _could_you?" I screeched as I entered the house and found the Elders sitting on Billy's tattered, old sofa.

"Know your place, Ms. Clearwater," Old Quil's voice boomed, cutting off my anger.

My mom eyed me disdainfully, warning me to stop whatever it was that I was doing. I ignored her and turned back to face Billy and Old Quil fully.

"You _know_ what he's going through, and you continue to break him, regardless of what he is feeling."

"You have let him get the best of you, Leah," Billy said with a sigh. "Just like little Bella Swan, you seem to be enchanted by his predatory skills. That's exactly what he wants to think: that he is a vulnerable, hurting vampire. But you youngsters seem to have forgotten that Mr. Cullen is dead. He cannot feel any sort of emotion, he is _dead._As dead as that carpet you are standing on, as dead as my _wife._"

I glared at him as he concluded his rant. Bringing up his wife, Billy knew that it would be hard for me to argue against that. But I wasn't ready to let him guilt me into it.

"He just wants a cottage on the cliffs. Technically, he isn't going to be _on_ the reservation. He's going to be away from the res, away from the people, away from us."

"You do realise that should Mr. Cullen remain, we would need some of you to keep on phasing, right? He cannot remain here without any consequences."

I nodded. "I am willing to keep on phasing, if that is what it takes."

"I would keep on phasing, too," Jacob added, stepping up to stand beside me.

Seeing us standing beside each other, so determined and ready to follow through with our decisions, made Billy smile. His soft, brown eyes crinkled as he did so, increasing his wrinkles tenfold. Old Quil, on the other hand, simply glared at the both of us. I knew Old Quil would be the most difficult of them to please, and even convince.

"Your determination humours me, Ms. Clearwater. And the fact that you have managed to fool Jacob into believing your lies about Mr. Cullen. Almost like Adam and Eve all over again."

"_I am not lying!"_ I yelled suddenly, pitching forward as the rage boiled in my veins. Jacob held me back, wrapping his fingers around my arms and pinning me to his chest. "I am not lying. I have never lied before, and I do not plan on starting now, especially on something so not worth my time. Here, I am trying to do a good deed— I am trying to be nice to someone, to help someone get through the pain of losing everything they ever stood for. He just lost his wife and his daughter... He deserves this one little thing. We killed his wife. They had right to attack us, and slaughter us to avenge her, but instead, he chose to stay quiet, and ask a small favour of us: to let him live the rest of his days on the cliffs, alone.

"You don't probably see it, but having a resident vampire around can actually benefit the pack: any passing vampires would not have to be tackled by the wolves, but instead, Edward would handle them himself, keep our reservation and our tribe safe. Would you be selfish enough to deny the tribe _that_?"

Billy pursed his lips then let a small grin fall onto his features. "Ah, Leah, always the fighter. What do the other wolves say?"

Jacob shrugged. "They really couldn't care less. Do you see how much it does _not_ affect the wolves? How could it possibly affect you guys so much? I don't see you running patrols all night, or losing sleep on how to take care of the pups— Mason especially, who is taking Bella's death upon himself. You just sit on your asses all day, then expect us to let you take all our decisions for us. Well then, you've got another thing coming. I am sick and tired of having to report back to this farce of a Council all the time. We have been managing perfectly well without you for the past years. You are only a technicality when it comes to pack decisions.

"I say, we deserve the right to take our own decisions, as a pack, because _we_truly know what is best for the tribe."

Old Quil was growing even more livid with Jacob's every word. He did not like that Jacob was basically stripping him of a position he'd withheld for the bigger part of his life. Old Quil was a narrow- minded man. He did not cater nicely to change, maybe because he had never been forced to go through _any_ type of change. His life had always been pretty much easy and simple. He'd never had to change into a horse-sized dog and fight sparkly vampires, _ever._

Really, his presence in the pack was purely coincidental— surely not a result of his own work and sweat.

"Sam!" Jacob yelled and soon, he was standing beside us, hands clasped firmly behind his back. "Call the others."

Soon enough, all the wolves had filed into Billy's cramped living room, and had I not been so mad at them, I would have been suffocating. But I was too distracted to even notice the close proximity everyone was in.

"Okay, you guys. All those in favour of removing the Elders' authority over the pack say 'Aye'."

At first, everyone was quite startled and confused as to what was going on, but realisation dawned on Seth's features and he yelled, as loud as he possibly could:

_"Aye!"_

Then, everyone else erupted in a chorus of the word. Everyone grinned and laughed as they repeated the word over and over again. Each time they did so, the Elders' faces fell by a fraction.

"It's pretty obvious, huh?" Jacob bellowed finally with a chuckle, his voice beating every one else's into silence.

Billy smiled and cocked his head gently to the side. "We have held our position for as long as you've wanted us. You mature, responsible warriors, and the tribe will prosper under your judgement."

Old Quil was not content with Billy's words. "But, William—"

"No, Quil. We have been leading them by their noses for long enough. We cannot treat them like children any longer. It is time for us to retire, my friend."

My mom, who had been silent for the whole argument, grinned at me and nodded her head. "Harry would not have wanted them to be unhappy. Unhappy wolves means an unsafe tribe. I agree with Billy."

Old Quil looked like he wanted to bite my mom's tongue off. He clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly, before he finally leaned back into the sofa with a resigned look on his features. "So be it. May Taha Aki guide you on, young warriors."

And with that, he dismissed us out of the house.

* * *

"Here would be perfect," he said, gesturing to a small ledge over-looking both the bay and the opposing cliffs. I nodded in agreement. I was both thankful that Edward had not chosen my favourite spot on the cliffs, and that the wolves had volunteered in helping Edward build his cottage. Of course, their volunteering eventually became a commission, after Edward insisted that he pay them.

"It would be great, Edward," I tacked on, for good measure, because it truly was great. I was already imaging Edward living up here, composing music, and sitting in a rickety arm chair staring out at the bay. Children would grow up wondering about the strange man that lived on the cliffs, all alone with no one to love him, and the huge russet people who visited him occasionally, to keep him company...

I smiled to myself and watched as Edward produced a folded paper from his coat pocket and opened it up, for me to see what it contained. It was a very detailed plan of the cottage Edward wanted, and Paul— who was the most experienced in construction of all the wolves— took it in his hands and studied it closely.

"Shouldn't be hard. Any chance you dabbled in structural architecture over time?" he asked, eyeing Edward closely.

Edward smiled— the first I'd seen in ages— and nodded slowly. "As a matter of fact, I have. It's true, it shouldn't be hard."

"Sam was supposed to be corralling the pups to get the supplies we need," Jacob interjected suddenly, turning round to face us from his spot at the edge. He'd been quiet during the exchange between Edward, Paul and I.

"They should be here soon enough," I added, looking out to First Beach, where they were supposed to stop and unload the supplies.

It was a little while after sunset when the guys showed up. It made sense, really, that they come so late. The little kids on First Beach would not cater nicely to a sparkly man and a dozen other men around him building a house. Edward's sparkle would distract them too much. We all went down to help them unload quicker, and I revelled in the ease with which the wolves integrated with Edward. The awkwardness and spite I had expected were— _surprisingly_— non-existent.

They started construction immediately. Under Paul and Edward's guidance, and with the help of their wolf-strength, the building went on fairly easily. The house itself was not going to be large; nothing like the Cullens' mansion in the woods, and that was something about the cottage which I liked. Edward had allowed Emily, Rachel and Kim to decorate the cottage, keeping them content and away from the wolves. They'd only be distractions, really.

Despite my strength, the guys did not let me help, and Edward wasn't too keen on letting me do so either. Maybe it was because of my accident earlier on during the week;

I had been cooking dinner for my mom, Seth, Charlie, Jake and Billy, and while I had been cutting up the tomatoes to put in the side salad, I'd accidentally cut my finger. Knowing it would heal up pretty quickly, I didn't pay it much attention. However, when the knife became coated with my blood, I realized that it wasn't healing up. I hadn't meant for Jacob to find out, but he'd walked in on me and started screaming bloody murder.

In truth, I wasn't feeling one hundred per cent myself lately. I couldn't describe it, really, but I wasn't so in tune to my wolf as I was so usaually used to.

"Stop looking at her, Jake. She's not going to suddenly burst into flames," Seth mumbled as he hiked a beam onto his shoulder.

Jacob turned to face him and rolled his eyes at him. "I'm not looking at her."

"Yes, you are."

"Hey, Jacob, look man, it's okay if you're worried. Even Rach is worrying herself mad about her because its not normal for someone to, like, spontaneously lose our wolf powers, but you can't start treating her like some rag doll. It's _Lee_, for God's sakes. You know she doesn't like being treated like that."

"It's true," I added, as I stared indifferently at my finger nails, then glared at Jacob. "Quit fussing. Focus on what you're doing, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Go see Rachel."

"No."

"Please, Le-_ah."_

"Don't start with me, Jacob. I don't want to get—"

"Do you want an Alpha command? Are you _seriously_going to push me into doing that?" he growled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I... _Fine."_

Jacob grinned, planted a firm kiss on my lips, then patted my butt towards First Beach. Even though reluctantly, I walked in silence to Marla's cottage, on the other side of the reservation. I could have phased and shortened the journey time by a _huge_ margin, but since I wasn't feeling so good, I decided against it.

And a good walk would do wonders to my calves.

"Hey, doll," Rachel greeted as I stepped into Marla's living room. "Marla's sleeping," she stated uncertainly, "just so you know."

I nodded. "It's you I wanted to talk to, actually. I have been... um, experiencing some changes lately. For example, last time, I cut my finger, and it didn't heal up quickly, like it usually does... And I'm not feeling quite myself lately... I don't really know how to explain it, but it seems as if my wolf is being totally aloof."

"Really?" she asked, in surprise, walking to the new cabinet she had bought Marla. There she started sifting through the various drawers, looking for some file in particular. Once she found it, she grinned and placed it in my lap.

"What the hell is this?" I yelped as I flipped quickly through the pages.

Her smile grew, as if that were possible. "They're the mating symptoms Marla has managed to collect over the years."

"Wait—"

"Yeah, you're going into heat."


End file.
